Survival and New Beginnings

What a long, long fall season it has been.  I survived yet another semester of nursing school and the holidays which have been peppered with beautiful days to nasty, rainy windy weather.  Luckily, I have had only one tree fall but there are still a few that could present with some danger.  I hope and pray that they stay upright until I can find another place to live as I have totally outgrown this little box and am very ready to move forward with my life in many ways.  

Money has been a constant worry and struggle this year.  I have fared well I suppose and have prayed hard for the right things to come my way.  Luckily, I was granted a small scholarship  from a professional ladies organization that one of my mother's friends belong to.  That was certainly a blessing.  Plus, I have received free federal money finally, (one which includes the NC State Lottery Education fund!) and some extra federal loans that I took out to keep me well cushioned.  A small sigh of relief I have.  Whew! 

The holiday break has given me much relief as I was about to lose my mind.  My house is finally cleaner than it has been in a very long time.  I might get one more good cleaning day done before school starts all over again therefore, the vacuum goes into hibernation.  I have had some really good sleep and very peaceful evenings.  Although I know some of our course content for the spring is already posted and I probably should look at it I just refuse to do so right now.  All I want to do is relax and get this little box of a home organized so I don't have to worry about it once I start back up.  I intend to thoroughly enjoy this break from school.  Many afternoon naps have been had and King Hecubus the Snaggletooth is very happy that he has me around to keep him warm as he likes to sleep right up in my face and stretch his paws up into my hair so they don't get cold.  Spoilage, I tell ya!  

So there ya go my readers!  I have just a few more things to cross out on my 'break from school' checklist and then I can start off my last semester with a clear mind.  I know for certain my little brain will be all confused and jumbled after that first day of orientation once class starts again.   I want to start off my New Year with all the good vibes I can get!  I will certainly need them to see me through this last hurdle.  Until then, it's time to do some cooking!  Woo hoo!  elizinashe

Where Did We Go Wrong?

The holidays are upon us.  The stores are geared up for magical displays with miles of needless crap in the isles, holidays sales ads have replaced political propaganda and local store hours are making the local news.  Apparently, Thanksgiving means a quick meal and then a dash to the local Wal-Mart for those fabulous holiday deals and then off to camp out at Target for the crack of dawn money saving extravaganzas.  

I find it disgusting that as a country that we place more value on material objects for the holidays vs. spending time with family and friends.  We have become so disconnected from our emotions that a new, shiny, super wide screen television says 'I love you' more as opposed to giving someone a good, long hug and saying those words verbally to that person.  Why would anyone want to leave their children in bed and rush out to the store in the wee hours of the morning after eating a big family meal only to get some stupid ass toy that won't mean a thing, other than materialism.  What are we teaching the next generation? 

I would be blessed to have children of my own but I don't.  And if I did have my own kids, I sure as hell wouldn't be going to the store to find the latest and greatest for my kid especially on Thanksgiving night or Black Friday.  That's just stupid. I would hope that my children would have similar values like myself and find more enjoyment with loved one as opposed to an object that could never give back any affection or create loving memories.  I place more value on spending time with my family, at least what's left of it, and my friends with good food, good wine and good music.  That's what's really important to me and that is one thing you will never find at the store!  elizinashe

Halloween Feeling Ick Like Haiku

On the couch eyes glazed
Body aches no more study
Zombie food I am



elizinashe

Happy Halloween Everyone!

Holy Cow Batman!

Oh geeze....here comes the mini-mester meltdown.  I thought the school related anxiety dreams had subsided, however now that the first mini-mester is coming to a close they are getting really intense and the over-thinking is in hyperdrive.  

My first day of clinical this term I saw a group of nursing students in the lobby of the hospital.  As I was looking more closely I was thinking to myself, 'hey those don't look like the second year students.'  And then it hit me. I am the second year student!  Yikes!  I have officially moved up in status.  However, that second year status has doubled the work, doubled the over-thinking and doubled the stress at this point.  The reading for class is all over the place and my notes are so dysfunctional that I don't even know how I am going to finish successfully.  I'm one step ahead if I know what day it is when I wake up in the morning.  

I have an ancillary test on Monday to which our practice tests that are on-line have been very difficult to find since the host website has changed its format and the said practice test is very hard to find.  I've taken it once and can't find it again to re-take for more practice.  Ugh!  We have a test on Thursday the 11th and our final for this mini-mester is on the following Monday the 15th.  We have a one day break and then it's off to the second leg of the fall mini-mester with orientation, then class after another class, then work all weekend and then what appears to be a clinical site almost an hour away from where I live.  Not looking forward to driving that far in the dark in the wee hours of the morning!  And then turn around to do that drive all over again the following day.  ARRGGGGG!!!!!  I was told at first, that I would be returning to a site that's literally five minutes away from my house.  Although I was not excited to return to that particular site, I'd much rather drive five minutes vs. an hour.  It certainly would save me in gas not to mention potential vehicle breakdowns to which I have already suffered.  Not happy about this folks! 

Oh geeze.....being a second year nursing student has it's perks that's for sure.  However, the on-coming weeks and the looming spring is really freaking me out.  I long for the day where I don't have to worry about this shit anymore, sleep as late as I want on my days off and not have to eat crap because I don't have time to cook.  Yee Gads!  I just want to get through this week.  That is all I am capable of at this point.  Can I please return to my girls' weekend because that certainly was a hell of a lot more fun!  Sheesh!  elizinashe

I Don't Wanna!

My wonderful time of two weeks and five days away from school are coming to a close.  The break between our summer semester and the fall semester has been wonderful and I want it to continue.  No hurried doctor's appointments this time.  Just some good old fashioned relaxation.  The house got a good cleaning, I've been well rested without anxiety provoking dreams, had a fantastic girl's weekend and spent some time with my dad while he was in town visiting.  Too bad we can't store good sleep like a camel stores water.  I will certainly need  the extra zzz's.

Friday was checking back into reality as it was my first day back to work in over a week. I did not appreciate my alarm sounding off at 5am.  That was not nice.  Today has been glossing over the school website and downloading math calculations and worksheets in order to prepare for a very long day this Monday for our first day of class.  Class that will last from 9am until after 4pm.  Ugh.  Insert unhappy face here.  Tomorrow will be another day of work only to return home and fight those first day of school jitters.  Yuk.  I'm not even sure what to throw in my backpack.  As long as I remember what building to walk into at the correct time then I guess I will be doing okay.  

Got an interesting letter in the mail today regarding school.  Apparently I've been selected to join a 'society' of academic and leadership success.  Ha!  It sounds like a win-win situation not to mention a gold star on my resume and money for any future schooling that I may want to attempt.  I just find it funny that I was asked in the first place.  If these people only knew what I am really like they may change their minds.  haha....I can't even speak in front my classmates to give a group presentation.  I totally get tongue tied and flushed.  I hope to God that I don't have to give a speech in front of this so-called society.  I would surely faint.  I guess all that wine has had some benefit to my little brain.  And if that's the case then I toast to that.  Salut!  elizinashe

Thick Air & Attitudes

The last few days have been gray, overcast and humid.  It hasn't been really hot so to speak but the air is just plain thick.  If it's going to be this poopy looking outside, I wish the skies would just open up and let loose.  Not that I want a big storm or anything but a good rain would definitely help.  In short, the clouds are full of gas and they need to fart big time.  

It's no surprise how weather and planetary movements can affect the attitude.  Sunny spring skies are always a mood booster, especially after a days of chilly weather.  A full moon seems to make people a little more festive if not impulsive.  I believe there is an urban myth about how emergency departments and police departments are busier than usual on a full moon night compared to others.  I know my workplace seems to be a bit more loony.  But, that's just my personal observation.  

I know for myself, icky weather like we are having today affects my own attitude.  I've had a hard time keeping my mind in a happy place.  Plus, there is an odd planetary movement that has been going on the last few weeks that is finally coming to an end and I feel like that weird cycle going back into a normal mode is pulling on my inner soul as well.  I'm ready to get back into a normal groove.  Everything I had planned in my head to tackle during my break has been slow going.  A big clash with one of my co-workers the other day has really seeped into my brain and does nothing but piss me off.  And what pisses me off even more is that it is stuck in my head.   I usually don't take work stuff home, but this incident really got under my skin.  However, as time goes on, I feel like it's washing away even more, along with the planets and thick air.  If it would only rain a good bit to truly wash it out of my system.  That would be a good thing.  

So that's it for today folks.  Just a gray, thick day anxiously awaiting the skies to open up and relieve some built up tension.  I think we all could use a good wash by Mother Nature.  elizinashe

Quick Bits

Summer is over.  At least school wise.  I now have two weeks and five days of freedom from nursing school chaos.  I am now a second year nursing student.  It just doesn't seem really real.  Can't believe I have survived this far and  I don't know how it will all come together in the end.  It all just seems so surreal.  Weird.

I have a classmate whose last name is Sharp.  His initials are G.F.  Thus, he is G.F. Sharp.  Makes me giggle.  Being a piano player for most of my life I can't help but visualize those keys in my head when I see his student ID tag.  Ah, the simple pleasures in life that make it comical.  Gotta love it.  

Ever start writing a paragraph over and over again trying to find that voice because you're having a hard time conveying what's locked up in your head?  I keep trying to write something about the Olympics but I'm having a hard time finding what I really want to say about it all.  So here it goes.  Haven't watched much of it because I don't have cable.  I did see the Queen's entrance, (funny) and I dig watching women's gymnastics.  I could care less about fencing and synchronized swimming.  China's athletes are strangely strong.  There's something fishy about that.  

I have now joined the Smartphone craze.  And I love it.  It's the coolest thing ever.  I went with an iPhone which I find very user friendly and  I totally dig it.  Makes me wonder what else Steve Jobs would have created had he lived longer.  He certainly set a new standard for everyday modern technology.   I don't have that itch to get the iPad yet.  I'm pretty happy with my trusty ol' Dell.  However I think it's beginning to show it's age and slow down a bit. I just need it to last through school.  Keeping my fingers crossed.  

I will refrain from making any political rants or persuasions being that it's an election year.  I think it's going to take a long time for our economy to recover regardless.  However, what kind of idiot stands up in front of the NAACP and tells these people that his first order of business if elected is to get rid of Obama's healthcare reform?  Oh yeah, Romney.  What a jackass.  

So that's it folks.  Just thought I'd throw a few bits out there.  Just trying to keep the creative spark alive.  Peace out ya'll.  elizinashe