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've been a bit curious about this family although I have never watched their show and most likely never will even if I did have cable. This is the couple that have chosen to have 20 children, all biological mind you, in the course of their marriage due to strong religious beliefs and a choice of not using proper birth control. They believe that children are a 'gift from God', to which I can respect, but God does not get you pregnant. Sheesh....Anyway, I have written about them before and even asked one of my nursing instructor's on how she felt about multiple births and how it affects the body not to mention the complications that can arise as the mother ages and continues to become pregnant. However, the fact that they do have many children is not the point of this particular post.
As they are in the media spotlight, it came across that their 20 year-old daughter is now officially 'courting'. Not dating mind you because that would implicate something more physical, but 'courting'. Huh? Um...what year is this? I do respect their beliefs and wanting to protect their child when it comes to dating, especially in this day and age but to oversee everything as if it were an arrangement of some sort is just damaging. Or so I feel. This girl is 20 years old and according to the story, has never been kissed because she's 'saving it for marriage'. Huh? This young couple is not even allowed to hold hands. They can side hug each other upon greeting but that's about it. I find that tragic. How is this girl ever going to cope with the first time of being 'touched'? Not to mention being kissed for the first time ever? Geeze...kissing is one of the best things ever! I love kissing. I love a good make-out session. And this girl apparently has no clue as to what that feels like. What if he's a bad kisser? What if he gets really overwhelmed when they do kiss and goes a little overboard and gropes her? This girl is going to FREAK!! I feel sorry for all those children who are so over-sheltered such as this. I respect those who teach their children about saving their virginity for marriage. Your body is a sacred and should be respected and given to those who are deserving, but to not allow hugging and kissing in a relationship? What kind of message does that really send? Seems a little too medieval to me.
On a lighter note, I never did write about taking my NCLEX test. I was one of those who had many, many questions. One right after another. Two hundred and sixty three to be exact. I thought it would never end. By the time I had hit over one hundred fifty questions I was praying to God to strike me down because my brain was just shot and I was ready to run for the hills. However, I did survive and walked out with my belongings piled up in my arms, bleary eyed and not knowing what had just hit me and quite starved for some real food.
After I had bolted from the testing center, blindly driving down the road back to my side of town with my Camel light relieving my stress and fresh June air blowing across my face to bring me back to reality. I had no idea what had just hit me nor did any of the questions that were presented seem like anything that I had studied or prepared for. At that point, I didn't care. I was on a mission for a couple of tacos and a much well deserved beer. To which, that mission was accomplished.
After about an hour I had my lovely tacos and cold beer, I finally crashed. And crashed hard. To which was expected after all that stress. The best part about that was the dream I was having shortly before I woke up. I was in a very familiar area back at home where I grew up. It seemed that I was at the corner gas station having some sort of 'shoot out' against some 'bad guys' to which I could not see their faces but I was brandishing a gun and shooting like crazy AND with Clint Eastwood behind me doing the same thing. Yes, it was me and Clint Eastwood shooting at the 'bad guys' making our escape out of some sort of trailer. And while I was shooting my pistol, I was thinking that I needed to grab a bag and grab some of my personal items, like make-up, shampoo and clothes because clearly I could not return to that place and I was on the lam. With Clint behind me. What's even more perplexing is that I was grabbing my clinical bag that I took to my rotations during school to throw my personal belongings into in my dream. Now that's some funny shit! So I woke up still groggy, confused and analyzing my dream, I came to the conclusion that I was not in any way shape or form projecting any anger at all to the whole NCLEX testing experience or the nursing program for that matter. No way. Not at all.
Speaking of Clint Eastwood, have you seen his son? This apple does not fall far from this tree.
Good looking boy if I must say so! Sure wish he would pop up in my dreams! And if he did, we wont' be shooting guns and there would be a lot more than just 'side hugging' going on. Just sayin'. elizinashe
They say adversity makes one stronger. You hear 'if God brings you to it, he will see you through it.' Somebody always has it worse. This too shall pass. And for the most part, I do believe in that. I am naively hopeless in the belief that all will turn out the way it is meant to be.
However, lately I say 'What the fuck?' My post-school on the search for a new career after busting my ass the last few years and most importantly, the last two is squashing any faith I have in all things good. I am tired of getting the 'run around' and being rejected. I'm tired of not even being recognized for my efforts or longevity within the very institution where I work. I am tired of not making any progress despite my efforts. It all gets pretty old after a while and it's beginning to mess with my head. And I mean, really mess with my head. I feel like I'm on a downward spiral and it's hard to stay afloat. The last thing I want to do is completely crash, but I feel like if I don't have one glimmer of this forward movement in my life, that I have worked so hard for, that I will eventually crash and burn. This is not a good feeling, nor is it healthy. And being able to recognize that is even more frustrating. Not to mention frightening. I'm fighting with all my might but it's seemingly getting harder, and harder. Aren't I just a bowl of sunshine? I hope and pray that this will all pass very soon before I completely lose it. Okay, enough cry baby talk. Time to start this day over. Thanks for reading. elizinashe
When did pet food become so gourmet? It used to be chopped beef, chicken or a mix of the two. Now it seems that there has been an explosion of a variety of food to feed that special kitty or hyperactive dog.
It seems the vast convenient choices of food for your furry loved one has spread into the adult like world. Chicken with spinach and rice. Beef with pasta and cheese. Turkey and Duck. Chicken and vegetables and Flaked Skipjack Tuna with Salmon. What the hell is Skipjack Tuna anyway? Never have seen that on a menu.
Regardless, in my days of feeding Alpo to our family dog has changed drastically. As my cat has aged over the years, he has gotten quite finicky about his food choices and very much prefers 'wet food' over his dry food. Can't say I really blame him there. I like eating moist stuff myself over dry crunchy stuff for my main meal. However, it does become quite costly in this trial and error effort. Ah, the joys of being a pet owner.
Still, it cracks me up every time I go to the pet food store to buy little tins of meshed up leftover bits of some creature that he may or may not like. However, I've had my little man for seventeen years now so I will gladly make the effort in keeping him fat, happy and healthy. He's been my constant companion and the best unconditional love despite having another kitty for many years. He's always been a 'mamma's boy' and has loved every minute of being the only cat in the house these last few years.
How could you not spoil a loving face like this who can't wait until you get home so he can lay all over you at the end of your day? Yeah, life is good for this one. Even if his breath does smell fishy. elizinashe
Do you ever wish you could get a letter in the mail telling you what to do when it comes to life changing decisions in your life? How many times have you wished that the answers to what you struggle with would make itself clearly evident? I'm not talking about if you should buy that pair of expensive shoes that you've always wanted. Nor what color of nail polish you should buy next, or what to eat for dinner. I'm talking about decisions that would have the type of impact that will change your life and you're not sure if it's for the better or worse.
I feel like I'm in that boat and I have no idea which sail to use so the winds can carry me onward. I wish I could just find that letter in my mailbox to tell me where I need to point myself. Where is my golden compass?
The job that I had applied and had interviewed for has been taken off the table so to speak. Apparently there is a 'hiring freeze' on numerous floors at the hospital where I work. Gee, thanks. However, I am hearing through the grapevine that the 'freeze' is slowly being lifted which is a good thing but I caught wind that a night shift person, who has been there only a year after his graduation is moving into a day position. I am assuming that it's the very one that I had interviewed for and was hoping to obtain. I guess being a dedicated employee for the last seven years on that very floor holds no bearing. Thanks again.
I had some more follow up tests for my cat. Blood work, a UA screening, medications, X-rays and and ultrasound plus seven hundred dollars overall for this adventure. Lab results are excellent considering that he's 17 years old now. However, the X-ray and the subsequent ultrasound indicated a small mass in his stomach along with thickening of his bowel. Thus, the puking, the on-again-off-again appetite and lack of daily bowel movements which lead to constipation issues. Poor kitty. So now the question is do I put my old man through a surgery to which he would most likely recover nicely, to remove the mass in question and part of his thickened bowel? It is not known if this mass is cancerous until it is removed. And if it is cancerous then there is concern that it might trigger the cancer to spread to the lymph system which would be horrible. That would be a slow death sentence altogether. Or do we treat the underlying cause with steroids and laxatives and possibly antibiotics later on down the road. I have no idea how much longer he would live with or without the surgery. He seems to be doing really well despite having a shaved belly at this time. And I don't even want to think about the cost. We would be talking a couple of thousand for the surgery. I wish he could tell me what he would want.
I've toyed with the idea of moving to another city and starting over. Now that I have my 'super secret spy numbers' behind my name, I'm more employable now than I have ever been. I love the idea of moving to a different city to explore and plant my roots. And on the selfish side, I can rediscover a place that I can call my own without my mother following me and outdoing all that I have set out to do because she wanted to reclaim her life as well after being in a marriage that she wasn't truly happy about. But, that is a totally different psychoanalysis that I will avoid. However, moving to a new city has many obstacles. It's really hard to meet people and make friends when you're new. It's taken me a really long time to get established here, and I have really great friends, and new ones at that via nursing school that I don't want to lose. I feel like I'm finally coming into a good place in my life and I don't want to give that up just yet. But there is a part of me that feels like it would be the right thing to do for me. Leaving Asheville and moving on somewhere else. The other downside is being a new grad, I would most definitely be out of my comfort zone, especially when it comes to work. I'd be without my work family and most likely get the crappy night shifts and crappy floors that will do nothing but leave a nasty taste in my mouth for my work, which in turn will make me hungry for my glory days as a bartender. I wish I could have enough confidence in myself to follow through a new adventure such as relocating. It could be a really great thing, or it could be a really horrible thing. And I can't decide which one it would be. Too many unknown answers. Sure do wish I knew which road to take this time.
Wonder if I should take that left turn at Albuquerque. elizinashe
Are you a jealous person? Do you know that you are a jealous person or does it just come out when you get to that bridge? How do you deal with that 'little green monster'?
And when that jealousy rears its ugly head how do you react? And who is on the receiving end of that jealousy?
I've always had a mild jealous streak but not the point of being one of those crazy, stalker illogical type persons. Most of my jealousy lies within insecurity and when I get past that insecure feeling then that stupid jealous feeling goes away. And then I feel stupid.
However, I have come across an issue that I thought I'd never encounter and my immediate reaction was some anger. Probably rooted in jealousy. Maybe betrayal. But mostly anger I feel, which is horrible. This new thing is tied to my mother which I have always battled anger issues with, mostly due to family trauma and in part, in her selfishness which in the past has really hurt my feelings. I'm trying to keep an open mind about all of this but it's rather hard at this moment. I will know more this evening, as long as I get this huge tree branch removed from my driveway. Maybe that's the universe's way of distracting me and giving myself time to get over this temper tantrum that I feel like I'm trying to express. Childish? Maybe. It's one big psychoanalysis.
I think for the most part, this little green monster of mine is more like the rabid dog trying to protect my mother. I may have issues with my parents and extended family but when it comes to someone seemingly invading their life with potential of hurting them emotionally and/or financially then I will go for the jugular towards that person. I am fiercely protective of those I love even though I have a hard time showing that love in everyday situations. Trust me. If you screw with my friends or family you better start running.
I'm hoping that this is just a passing ship that will keep on cruising. I'm not sure how I will feel if this new boat decides to dock and stay for a while. It can't be a good thing. Or maybe it will. Trying to be adult about this new scenario. I will know more soon enough I suppose. More to come as I continue to ride this wave. Ugh. elizinashe
Oh Fashion Week, how I love thee. Not that I am a fashionista myself nor do I aspire to be a Carrie Bradshaw but just for the simple fact that I get to blog about the ridiculous outfits that are strutted down the runway. And this time for men! What a bonus!
Yes, I understand that for the most part 'Fashion Week' is meant to be some sort of statement. An art if you will, but this get-up is nothing but an over-glamorized crocheted concoction of 'what the hell?'. Really? This is considered artistic in the world of fashion? What part? Grandma's living room? This looks like a basketball uniform gone totally wrong.
And here we have what looks like a tribute to space nerds. Perhaps a tribute to the hipsters who watch the 'Big Bang Theory'. To which, I must admit, I do watch the re-runs myself but I don't think I would resort to wearing something like this. And the shoes! Oh my! Yes they look inspired from the Asian culture which is just fine but if I saw some dude walking down the street in a suit with those sandals and we weren't in Chinatown, I think I'd be looking for the local Drag Queen show. Just sayin'. Aren't I horrible?
Aside from the 'man bag' I almost like this one. I can totally see David Bowie wearing this-like 20 years ago when the 80's were cool. Maybe not so much today but definitely when Bowie was past his Ziggy Stardust days and moving into the wildly patterned and colorful genre of the late 80s and early 90s. But it still cracks me up. I doubt that any man in his right mind would be walking around in Paris or London in this powersuit. And never in Italy! Those people know how to dress! And eat. And drink. And make love. Hell....why am I living here? Hahaha.....Regardless, Fashion Week gives me much pleasure just so I can have something to gawk about and have a good laugh.
If you're interested in seeing the whole slide show I will leave a link down below. Hopefully I will post it correctly so all may enjoy for your viewing pleasure. Or at least, a good laugh. Enjoy! elizinashe
I used to be really, really good about planning my meals. I was in a different phase of my life as we all were in the past but again, I was really good about it. I was at least 10lbs skinnier, I worked out, drank less and was making more money and lived in a nice apartment with a great kitchen. Now, many moons later, my career path had changed which changed my income as well as my dwellings and drinking habits. I no longer plan my meals well nor do I enjoy cooking as much as I had once before but I attribute part of that aspect to my tiny kitchen minus the dishwasher.
Today was a rather warm day which kind of kills your appetite. Normally,when it's this warm I tend to go for cold, snack type fare. Salads, sushi, simple veggies and chicken, dips with crackers and cheese and so on and so on....however none of that stuff appealed to me at all today. I even texted a friend in hopes of being inspired to make something satisfying. But alas, none of his suggestions sounded worthy of a meal. Not due to bad suggestions, but just due to the fact that I am bored my food options.
Sometimes I wish that I lived somewhere else where I had more variety of choices. Now mind you, my current hometown is a foodie's paradise. There are many restaurants that have been noted in many magazines, travel brouchures, award winning contests and a 'must eat here' fanfare. Yes, we have some awesome local restaurants and I have visited many. However, if you're looking for something quick and different then that can present a challenge unless you already have made plans with family or friends to hit the town. And if you like local brews, whether it be beer or coffee, we have plenty that as well.
However, I feel like if I lived somewhere else like some of the places I have visited then I wouldn't have such 'what do I want for dinner' issues like I had tonight. There are times that I get this way and it frustrates me which is rather stupid to a degree but being a 'foodie' myself, I want something different and satifying to say the least. I am tired of the same ol' same ol' and the idea of cooking doesn't always get me excited when it's late in the evening and I have to clean up a mess that I have made that will feed four or more people when I just need to feed myself. Ah...the joys of singlehood.
Needless to say, I relented to a salad and a piece of fried chicken paired with a nice glass of wine followed by half of a chocolate muffin with berries. At least the wine and chocolate was satisfying. And yes, I griped about making dinner. I am certain that there are many others with hungry kids who are in that same boat. I have no doubt about that. But being 'Miss Independent' has it's own challenges. Guess I'm still learning about myself in that realm. Until next time....Bon Appetite! elizinashe
