Friendly Competition

What's In Your Blog? 

I started this little blog many, many moons ago for reasons to which I will spare you, as I tend to be long winded in my stories.  However, I met one of my really good friends through this blog as he had one of his own and we began to read each others stuff and eventually became really good friends despite that we live far apart.  

My friend, or fiend as we sometimes call each other, is a more experienced writer than I, and typically writes way more than myself.  However, this past year I have had more opportunities to write for a variety of reasons and my 'fiend', has slowed it down this past year.  Now, he does have a pretty good excuse for not posting so much, but that did not stop me from sending him teasing reminders here and there that I was ahead of him in the posting game, although we never really established a true competition. 

As 2014 was coming to a close, I looked at the year overall and had noticed that I had posted 42 times as he had only 32 postings.  I guess he really wasn't that behind after all, but I did like the fact that I had written way more than he had over the course of the year.  And of course, I had reminded him of that...haha...

Now 2015 is well on it's way and has kept me super busy which has put me behind in my writings.  As for my friend, he's posted six times so far in these first two weeks of January as I have only posted twice thus far.  This will be my third for the year.  I will say it's not from a lack of want, but a lack of time and a clear head.  These last couple of weeks have kept me busy but in a good way by spending time with dear friends and eating way too much food, even in these cold temperatures we have been experiencing.  I know my friend has been pretty busy too, but perhaps on a smaller scale, plus being that he lives in the DC area, it's been pretty dang cold up there too which means parking your butt at home more often because it's just too damn cold to go outside, therefore he has reason to write.  And oh yeah, perhaps the teasing reminders that I 'out did' him in the writing department may have fueled some fire for 2015. (wink, wink...) Guess I need to catch up, eh?  I'll let ya know who wins  in 12 months.  elizinashe

Of Boyfriends Past....

Isn't Anything About Attitude? 

I had an old boyfriend contact me the other day.  He's been in town over the holidays to visit family and his children.  We had dated briefly a couple of years back and then he just 'disappeared' one day.  Never heard from again.  At least for a while.  

I know I had written about this previously when all this had happened at the time, so I will spare you the details.  I guess what it all boils down to is that I never harbored any 'ill will' towards him nor do I regret meeting him again a year later for a couple of drinks to catch up and 'clear the air' so to speak.  We both had new endeavors at that time so a relationship would have never been fruitful, and for that I am thankful.  

So we met today for a late lunch and a couple of beers.  It was good to catch up with each other and share our progresses as he has had some of his own successes that he had worked so hard to obtain.  He's still a nice dude but wanting an intimate relationship with him again is just out of the question.  It's just no longer in the cards and I know we both have bigger fish to fry.  However, I think we are both adult enough to keep a friendship across the miles with a meet and drink occasions when he's in town.  That we can do.  

A few years ago my 'live in boyfriend' from over 15 years ago sent me a 'friend request' on Facebook.  Now that was a shock.  Didn't see that one coming.  I had loved him with all my being, and the relationship ended very badly.  I was brokenhearted and did not date for a very long time, not to mention allow any man get too close to me as I just did not want to risk heartache like that again.  
( I have changed that by the way...)

I ignored his 'friend request' for a couple of weeks and then he sent me a personal message.  I had long forgotten about him and moved on with my life, living a life that I had always hoped.  A life that I am certain would not have had if we had stayed together.  Regardless, I had moved on from all that hurt and felt like maybe he needed to clear his conscience.  My hatred for him had long past so I saw no harm in accepting his request.  We sent a couple of messages back and forth, the kind where we fill in with each other what has happened in our lives after the breakup.  That sort of thing.  He's still on my friend list and on occasion we 'like' each other's post or picture. 

Most relationships that end badly remain in that horrible place.  I am in awe of couples who can remain friends after the fact.  I think that's a good thing.  Especially if there are children involved.  Maybe I'm one of them.  Minus the kid factor.  Yes, there are some boyfriends that I really don't want to hear from, but the others I wouldn't mind a little 'catch up'.  Hopefully they are all happy and have had successes of their own.  Maybe they have kids.  Regardless, I think it takes a lot of will power and forgiveness to overcome heartache.  I think I've learned that as I've gotten older.  And I hope you have too.  It certainly feels better to throw away all those horrible, hateful feelings toward a former flame and I know my mind is at peace because I have thrown away all those horrible, hateful feelings.  And when you do purge all that negativity I think it opens the door for that relationship that is meant for you to explore.  I believe in that.  I hope you do as well.  Until next time, cheers!  elizinashe

A New Year's Tidbit

Who Doesn't Like Glitter?

Happy New Year Ya'll!  

I think I've started this New Year off the right way.  Although I do love a good party with a small group of good people and loved ones, I stayed home last night which was totally okay with me.  I had worked the night before, which means I went to bed around 8:30AM that day.  

I got up around 2PM  so I wouldn't sleep all damn day and be all screwy.   Met some fellow bar flies early in the evening, had a couple of drinks and took a locally made pizza home.  And ate half of the said pizza.  Ugh...good thing I only eat pizza a couple times a year.  I truly have no self-control over pizza.  

Watched me some Dick Clark and texted a few friends, watched the ball drop and rang in the New Year with my 'old man' aka my cat.  Totally worth it.  Yeah, I would have liked to have spent my time with someone special and end it with a big sloppy kiss at midnight, but that just wasn't in the stars for me this year and I was not about to go out on the town...that's for beginners.  Totally not worth the drunken crowds nor a checkpoint.  I'm way smarter than that.  Plus, I really like being home...it gives me peace.  

Today was a slow start which included sitting outside on my deck in the sunshine on a chilly January day with a cup of coffee and a good smoke.   Shared a really great quote on my Facebook for that 'New Year's Inspiration' and met some long, lost studymates who have now become a part of my circle of girlfriends for the traditional New Year's fare.  Which was totally more important to me than going out the night before to do endless shots to prove how much I can drink.  

I feel blessed and lucky and I am so damn glad that I have taken this time off from work because I totally needed it.  And I totally needed my time with my new found 'girls'.  Next weekend will be time with one of my other BFFs and her husband and I cannot wait.  Yep, this New Year is starting off really well and I hope this trend will continue, as this past year has kept me so damn busy that I forget to 'take time for me'.  This year, I will make it a point to take better care of myself.  It is a must and that is that.  

I hope that your New Year starts off with a bang with lots of tight hugs and great kisses that make your knees wobble.  Cause who doesn't like that feeling?  Cheers ya'll!  See ya next time!  elizinashe

Validation

May You Always Weather the Storm

It feels good to be heard and recognized.  Sometimes it's immediate.  Sometimes it takes a few days.  And sometimes it takes years.  Regardless of when it happens, it just feels good.  

We go through life thinking our life will be 'ideal', or at least most of us.  We think our life will be a certain way but things change, we change and different doors open and close which leads us down a different path, good and bad.  

Hopefully the choices that you have made and the doors that you have walked through have lead you to a wonderful life with many happy experiences.  Hopefully the bad experiences have left you wiser without resentment or anger.  Hopefully you are living the life that is meant for you.  

With all that said,  I will leave this post a little short and carry on.  I can say my life has been and still is pretty darn good.  And for that I am thankful.  I look forward to the future even though it scares me a little but I'm pretty certain that I will be okay.  "One step at a time" I say....And with each step may my voice, and yours, be heard over and over again.  And with each door that opens, may it lead you to a bigger and brighter life with no regrets and all the recognition that you deserve.  elizinashe

A Different Kind of Christmas Post...

Which One Are You?

Merry Christmas Everyone!  

Here's to all the freaks and geeks, the Type A's and Type B's.  Big families, small families, young couples and 'seasoned' couples.  Cheers to the singleton's without a lover, single parents, multiple parents and blended families.  Many blessings to you all and your loved ones.  

May the New Year bring you many blessings and fun adventures.  Embrace the hard times, because you know they will come, so that you may feel the joy of all the good things that come your way.  I hope you are surrounded by many friends and much laughter.  I hope you receive lots of tight hugs from loved ones and lots of wet kisses from your fur babies.  May your table be piled high with delicious food and good people surrounding you to share a really good meal with really good wine. 

I hope your ears are filled with wonderful music that gets down into your soul and your eyes are open to new and exciting people that become a part of your circle that we call life.  May your travels be safe and carefree peppered with new memories to share with your friends.   May your workload be easier as work never really does go away.  May we all get a big, fat raise so our minds will be at ease when times get hard and the money becomes tight.  May your dreams be peaceful so you that you wake up feeling refreshed and ready to take on the day.  

I hope that our country will strive for peace, equality and a strong economy.  I do hope that our elected officials will put their differences aside and make wise and well informed decisions for our nation.  I hope our military troops stay safe and out of harm's way so that they can come home to their families.  May our veterans be recognized for their sacrifice and receive the comfort and care that they have earned as we remained on our own soil while they fought for our freedom.  

And may our Mother Earth be kind to us, as we have certainly abused our land and our seas.  I'd like to see her flourish a little bit more and so I can explore all the nooks and crannies I have yet to discover and create my own new adventures. Better dust off those hiking boots!  

Merry Christmas Ya'll!  
elizinashe

Time to Stop...

Priorities.....

This past month sure has been one helluva ride.  And it's not over yet.  Sheesh.  I've worked too damn much this past month.  Never again....got to be more mindful of that in the future.  

The last couple of weeks, hell this past month, work has been really stressful.  My Friday last week was pretty stressful.  It was really hard not to get 'snippy' towards my patients and co-workers.  However, this past Thursday night was my worst shift ever.  Seriously.  I had tears in my eyes an hour and a half into my shift, just out of shear frustration but I didn't have the time to stop, walk away and cry just to get it all out.  My unit was way too busy and I had work to do and patients to monitor.  I hope I don't have another night like that for a very long time. 

I don't go back to work until Christmas night but I still have other normal busy stuff to do before I return to the trenches.  I hope that traffic will be kind, as my errands include driving from one end of town to another.  Damn holiday shoppers....

One of my girlfriends and her husband are coming into town in January.  On a weekend that I am already scheduled to work.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed that one of my coworkers will switch nights with me so I can spend some time with her.  I really need my girlfriend time, especially after this past month.  Maybe I should make a visit to Santa and give him that wish list so he can work some magic.  

On a more lovely note, I stepped out my front door tonight to put some recycling out in the bin when lo and behold, I found a small goodie sack with some homemade cookies from one of my neighbors.  I don't know all my neighbors very well but the ones I have met have been really lovely so far and to find a little token of kindness put a big fat smile on my face and put some faith back into my soul that good deeds still exist and some of those good deeds happen to me.  I must walk over and thank them.  And after the week I've had, some homemade cookies are the perfect pick-me-up.  It certainly won't go to waste!  In fact, I think a cookie before bed is just what I need.  Nighty night!  elizinashe

'Tis the Season

Blackbird Fly....

Yep.  Christmas is coming.  All that holiday rush to get the presents squared away, mail your cards, pay the bills, plan for that Christmas gathering dinner and fight that traffic as people drive like idiots all around town.  It can really suck sometimes. 

I think I've been working a bit too much.  This past weekend was horrible.  I had three admits in one night all which had their own individual problems during the admission process which did nothing but create more stress.  I've basically have had one day off and I go back for the next three nights with Friday night off, to which I will be coming home that morning from work, and then go back for Saturday night for one more shift as they were short for that night and I picked up extra.  The pay will be nice, but it's beginning to wear a bit on my mentality.  

I've always had a love/hate relationship with the holidays.  It's always been a bit sad and uncomfortable since my brother died.  And now that my parents are officially divorced and my dad is living in Arkansas still and my mother about 45 minutes away from me, it makes Christmas time a bit weird.  I wish I could be with my dad because I worry about him being alone.  But I'm not ready to go back to that house.  Last time I was there, it was a very sad and lonely place and that was long before my parents divorced.  My mother was living out here already and she was not about to return to Arkansas.  It was a very screwy time that did not need to happen. 

And so, the 'holiday blues' are beginning to wax and wane in my little head.  I thought I'd have my tree up and break out all my Christmas decorations out since they have been in hibernation for many, many years but that didn't happen this year.  Maybe next time.  I certainly could use a little cheer that's for sure.  I've got a party invite for Friday night but I typically stay at home when I'm coming off of a string of working days.  Or shall I say nights?  It does mess with your head a bit and I'm too damn tired to be social.  Regardless, I always push on through and survive the ups & downs of Christmas time.  Or so I think.   Good thing I have plenty of wine around.  elizinashe