So Much to Say....

You Know You Want to Sing It! 

What the hell is going on in our world these days?  Sheesh!

Again, I feel like "Reality TV" has brainwashed the minds of our youth and those who have grown up watching that shit.  Nobody has any scruples anymore.  Or so it seems. 

So much gun violence.  And so much hatred.  And a lot of it is one sided.  Yes, there are some who are trying to have open discussions and start a conversation about how we can make it all better.  But yet, there are those who are adding to the problem and turning up the heat without thinking about the consequences.  

There have been peaceful protests, and violent protests.  I'm glad we live in country where we are allowed to do such things, but when you impede on public safety, instigate violence and shut down city streets and highways, ( yes...a highway folks.  Oakland I-880 just this past week) then you are adding to the problem.  And I won't even touch our politicians.  They are all a part of the problem too.  

What are we teaching our kids?  Certainly not much.  Not just but 30 minutes ago, my neighbors kid got her friend's SUV stuck behind our homes on a narrow street and halfway in a grassy area that is sloped in a rather steep like fashion.  The driver's back wheel is slightly bent.  Three teens....not drunk mind you but in a bit of a pickle.  The SUV needs to be towed out of this predicament. Otherwise, it might roll over.  The neighbor's kid has been nice and thankful for what assistance I provided.  The owner of the SUV, who doesn't even know how to put her SUV into 4wheel drive, is on her phone, calling somebody who I think was not a parent, not even looking at me or thanking me in my attempts to help.  The third teen, somewhat thankful but he quickly turned his attention to his companions.  Whatever happened to common courtesy and saying "Thank you" when someone is trying to help you?  Jesus...

Anyway...just some quick rants.  I used to joke back in high school that I would move to Switzerland because the country pretty much stays neutral in all worldly political things, the people are friendly and happy not to mention having really good chocolate available at any given time.  And oh, the landscape is breathtaking.   Now I think it's not such a bad idea.  I find a lot of Americans rather self indulgent.  And again, I think our society encourages that kind of mentality.  I fear of what may come to pass for our country.  I hope and pray that I am wrong.  Until next time....elizinashe

Be Careful of the Seeds that You Plant

Sister Moon

You've Been Mooned

If you're a space and sky geek, tonight is your night.  Not only is it a full moon, but it's the first full moon that coincides with the Summer Solstice.  A "Strawberry Moon" if you will...although it most likely won't be red in color, or even pink, but whatever.  

I know from experience a full moon definitely has it's pull on us earthlings.  And I would assume on Mother Nature as well.  I've been a bit restless and anxious today but just can't seem to get knock out my "to do" list completely as I had hoped.  As for the Mother Nature thing, well let's just say I found some creepy crawly things on the side of my house today that did not make me very happy.  Ew...those buggars will have a very short existence I can guarantee that.  Bleh!  I don't do creepy crawly things.  At all.

I wonder what the beach is like tonight.  The moon sure does have it's effect on the tides, and on a night like this, with the Earth tilting for the Summer, it makes me wonder what kind of waves are crashing about.  Sure do wish I were there.  I could use the getaway.  

You think the wolves are having a field day with this full moon thing?  Or is that just folklore?  Maybe the bats are having a party too.  The vampires must be happy don't ya think?  haha...

Regardless, this restless mind will come to a close for this post, as I just can't seem to gather my thoughts.  I blame it on the moon.  But on a brighter note,  Summer has officially started.  And you know what that means...it's time for ice cream!  Until next time...elizinashe

Mmmm....

I've Got the Itch...

Trying to Stay Focused....

I've been wanting some sort of entryway cabinet for the house ever since I moved into my new place.  However, a kitchen table was a priority.  Once that was bought and placed in my new digs I patiently waited on buying that entryway cabinet.  I'd look here and there on occasion, only to be disappointed by how it was made or the asking price.  Some stuff is just too overpriced.  At least I think so...

Anyway, fast forward two years.  I'm back on the hunt.  It's a bit of an obsession for me.  Although I do want a new entertainment type center/TV cabinet, as my Goodwill end table is rather ugly, but so is my TV.  It's at least 15 years old itself.  But it still works so buying a new boob tube is not high on my priority list.  Anyway...

So I'm randomly at TJ Maxx, looking for a cabinet when I find a new piece of luggage that I could really use, especially since I have a trip coming in my near future.  I haven't had any new luggage in about 30 years so I am past due.  Plus, I'm trying to have one luggage item to use and downsize a bit instead of having too much crap.  I think my new pink suitcase will be the perfect hit.  

But...I find this really cool bookcase too.  Hmmm... "just one purchase today, just one "....I tell myself.  I really liked this bookcase too.  Plus it was fairly cheap compared to other furniture pieces I've seen.  I think it would look really cool in my new digs too.  But, when I envision it in my head, I think it will be too long for the area I plan on placing it, since it has long end pieces due to it's funky style.  Bookcase on the back burner...don't need to over spend. 

So today, I stop by at some "discount warehouse" furniture store.  I think I found my entryway cabinet.  It's doable financially, but it is not as long lengthwise as I had wanted.  But it could work.  It might be better than a longer piece.  And the bonus is it just might fit in the back of my car, so I avoid the hiked up delivery fee.  Another plus.  Hmm....I've contemplated about this most of night.  My justification is if the cabinet is still there on Sunday, when I am free from work, then I will highly consider in making this purchase.  I think it will be what I've been looking for the last couple of years.  However...TJ Maxx is open on Sunday's too.  Do I really go overboard and scratch all these itches I've kept at bay?  Sheesh...home ownership I tell ya!  

What I really struggle with is not spending too much considering I am the only breadwinner at this address and there is always something that comes up.  Car stuff, cat stuff, plumbing stuff, yard stuff...need I go on?  Trying my best to keep it all at bay.  It's all too easy to go nuts on decorating a new place.  Especially if you got the itch.  Maybe there's a cream for that.  Until next time....elizinashe

Aren't They Lovely?

Here I Go...

I'm Pretty Good at This

So I'm coming off of an extended time away from work, which included a trip to Charlotte for a concert with some girlfriends, a bit of shopping and a nice hotel stay.  Ahhh...what a relief!

But...as the time came for travel drew near, my anxiety began to settle in and make me a bit nervous for many reasons that I will spare you of reading.  Needless to say, once I got to my destination, I was good.  Thankful that the holiday weekend traffic wasn't so horrible. 

My next vacation will be spent outside of the DC area to visit friends out there.  I've been wanting to return to the said DC area for a long time.  It's been a bit difficult to get away from work, not to mention allowing myself time away from work and pencil in some dates to fly out.  Now that part is done and the flight is booked.  But now my 'over thinking' is beginning to rear it's ugly head again.  Jesus... why do I drive myself crazy with this shit?  I don't think it's a matter of "self sabotage" as some people might think.  It's just a combo of "I need to do this" and "I need to get things in order before I leave", getting the car prepared for travel, getting someone to feed and hopefully medicate that cat and the tried and true "I have nothing to wear because all my clothes are old and don't fit" and so on and so on and so on.....doesn't everybody go through this before a vacation? haha... And what's worse is that this trip isn't until August!  So why am I stressing about it now?  Sheesh!  

Needless to say, I will take it one day at a time and think about all this mess later.  I have plenty of time to prepare.  And I always do fine when it comes down to the wire.  So..."Get out of my head silly thoughts! " I say...I need to take more time for me and just not worry about it all.  It's a life learning process is it not?   Until next time...elizinashe

Agreed

My How Time Flies....

Time is Precious...Make it Count!

Wow, is it May?  And it's almost over?  How did that happen?  

It seems the last two months have been such a whirlwind that it's just been one big blur.  Too much stuff, need more time to catch up.  I just realized this past week that I really haven't taken any time away from work since January.  That's a long time.  I have 400 PTO hours in my 'bank'.  I don't think I've ever had that much time saved up.  Ever.  Gotta do something about that.  

Speaking of time away, I do have a mini vacation slated for next weekend.  Getting together with some girlfriends for a DMB concert.  Can't wait for that!  We've had this planned since winter so this chic is ready to go!  Hopefully we will have good weather since it's an outdoor venue.  Keeping fingers crossed.  

Naturally I have so much more to say, but I think I will save it all for later.  Being that it's a cool, rainy night and my brain is actually at peace for a change.  I think I will embrace the calm and leave all the other worries behind.  I've got one more shift ahead of me, and only a half shift at that, and then it's free time for the next week.  No big plans other than getting the house cleaned, meeting up with long, lost friends and a concert with me girlies.  Not too bad of a plate, eh?  Until next time...elizinashe

Comin' to Get Ya Dave!  

Over. It.

I Support This Attitude

I need a time out.  I am over all this "being an adult" stuff.  Seriously.  

The last two months have been pretty much Hell and I'm in an overload of responsibility.  I'm tired of annoying vehicle issues.  I'm over sick cat issues.  I'm tired of running ragged to take care of the said car and cat issues.  I'm tired of basic house stuff, which seems to compound the said car and cat issues.  I'm tired of trying to plan on getting some minor house issues resolved around all this car and cat issues.  And oh yeah, I work.  At night.  Which makes dealing with all this shit a bit more challenging.  Sometimes its a struggle to get things done in a timely fashion, not to mention during the daytime hours before your average person closes shop.  Ugh.  At least work has been a bit more relaxed and my patient load has been relatively stress free compared to what we have had the last three months.  

So towards the end of working seven shifts in the last ten days, I had a good hard cry late one night at home.  I just 'let it all out'.  Sometimes you need a good cry and I can't remember the last time I had one.  Did it work?  Yeah, but not completely.  However, it did serve its purpose and released so much "stuff" that I have stuffed inside my head in hopes of coping with all this stress differently.  Guess that plan didn't work so much. 

And so...it's a new week.  One more trip to hopefully resolve an annoying but most likely a minor car issue.  My cat is once again recuperating and getting back to his old self after a hard day Sunday.  My minor house stuff, at least a small part of it,  will be conquered this week before I go back to work.  Hopefully...there is rain in the future.  I've done very little today.  In fact, I've taken two naps because I was just so damn tired.  Clearly my body needed it despite a good rest I had last night.  I just hope that the rest of this week is the beginning of a better road.  I'm done with the potholes of adulthood.  Until next time....

I Need To Be Here

Death and Dying

What a Happy Flower!

I experienced death at a young age through our church.  I remember going to a funeral for an old lady who had died.  I did not know how she died, I just knew that she had died.  I wasn't in kindergarten yet, but old enough to be aware.  So in my child's mind, and raised to believe that "all people go to Heaven" I remember sitting there wondering, how did she get there?  Did she go up in a big balloon?  Like a Hot Air Balloon I was thinking.  Or if she just magically went to Heaven, how does that really happen?  I remember asking my mom if she was in Heaven.  And of course, my mother said "Yes".  And with that child's mind of mine, I kind of got excited.  Meaning, if all people go to Heaven, then that means she gets to meet all those who have passed before her, including "famous people" like movie stars and Presidents.  I remember asking my mother if it meant that she, the lady who had died,  got to meet George Washington and Abe Lincoln.  hahahaha...(Clearly I had some knowledge of that sort of stuff. )   My mother laughed a bit and I remember her telling me "yes".  I thought that was so cool.  You die and go to Heaven and meet some really cool people and famous people that you had read about.  Can't beat that. 

My next significant experience with death was when my brother unexpectedly died at twenty years old.  I was fifteen at the time and was about to enter the very same high school from which he had graduated just two years prior.  Now that was a real shocker.  His death was totally unexpected and devastating.  He was not sick or "out of shape" nor was it a horrible accident.     It was just "one of those things".   His death scarred me for life.  I think I have just learned to live with it and move on.  And yes, there are times that I still grieve but in a different sort of way.  And that child like wonderment about death and going to Heaven took on a whole new meaning.  

We just lost one of nurses to an undiscovered cancer.  She had gone to the hospital herself because she thought she was getting a kidney infection or something of the sort, due to her symptoms.  It was found that she had a pretty big tumor on her kidney and one of her liver.  Up until recently, she had been asymptomatic.  And still very lively.  It was all very sudden, but she seemed to be at peace with it all.  She had all her affairs in order and had lived a very full, long life at eighty three years of age.  She passes way within two weeks of diagnosis.  We were all amazed that she still chose to drive for nearly an hour (both ways!)  to come to work and at night mind you, for four shifts every month.  This woman was a testament to nursing.  She loved it and that is why she chose to continue to work, even though at this stage in her life, she really didn't need to.  And given her age, she went to school and worked as a nurse way, way back when...and had worked in just about every department you could ever think of.  Her bank of knowledge and experience goes way beyond then I could ever dream of.  And nothing really rattled her.  She went with the flow and laughed while doing it.  She was certainly a testament to the profession.  I will miss this woman greatly.  

My cousin's husband was suddenly diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer earlier in March.  Apparently he was having a stroke, or stroke like symptoms and taken to the hospital.  It was discovered then that he was gravely ill.  Devastating news to all, including his children from from his first marriage.  John was a clever guy and always seemed to "up to something".  He was very successful in his career, liked to travel and was really good to my cousin.  Sadly, the grown children and his first wife had to add some drama and hatefulness while all this was going on, while my cousin was trying to put affairs in order, get Hospice in place and keep her own sanity.  The good thing is that she still has two siblings in the same city to help her cope with all this mess. It's been a little more than a month since John's diagnosis.  He hung on for whatever reason.  Sometimes people stay for a little bit longer to finish what they started.  John passed away earlier tonight.  He is now at peace.  

So...there is so much here to say and divulge.  I know it's a long post, but all this stuff got me to thinking.  Death is tricky.  Sometimes it's a celebration of a well lived life, and other times just unexpected and hurtful.  Regardless, death is death.  And it should be a lovely thing, and not long or painful.  All I know is that Heaven has gained some wonderful souls this week.  Until next time...elizinashe

Shine On You Beautiful People