As we all struggle in these tough economic times I am reminded every day how lucky my life is compared to what it could be. I have gone thru many struggles over the last 4 years as I try to start a new career and keep my bills paid without going broke or losing my mind. I have taken a serious cut in pay and my working hours now are very long, and the whole going back to school thing as I am approaching the big 4-0 has been a personal and sometimes egoistic challenge. ( I guess I'm gonna have to change the whole 30s blurb pretty soon, huh?) However, I know that for the most part , I'm a much happier person than I used to be. Yes, there are days when I ask myself, 'what the hell have I done?' and I have a nice long cry. Change is always scary. I'm terribly hard on myself so when things don't happen as quickly as I feel like they should, I get pissed. Then I get depressed. Then I realize that I'm pretty lucky. I don't have the jet-set life like some of my peers, I don't have the satisfaction of owning my own home, I don't go to the beach for a weekend get-away with a bunch of girlfriends, I don't go out every weekend to bar hop or catch a movie. Hell, I don't even have a dishwasher! But what I do have is really great friends who love me no matter what, I have a refridgerator full of food, I have a nice place to live without the fear of being mugged or getting shot in a drive-by, I have a good job which holds a long-term future for me as long as I keep trying and I have healthcare for the first time in years.
Yes, life is hard. Sometimes really hard. But I know there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. That's what keeps me going. After all, tomorrow is another day. ;) elizinashe
