Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Daydreaming or Envisioning?

Isn't She Lovely?
Ah, daydreaming...we all do it.  Probably did it a lot as a kid.  Especially in the classroom.  Studies have shown that daydreaming is beneficial.  And I tend to agree.  Except when it becomes too much, and you begin to ignore reality.  

I have a good friend who "envisions" his goals.  Isn't that the same as daydreaming?  Except his envisions typically come true.  And with a bit of legwork I might add.  Without knowing it, he's "putting it out there to the Universe".  As I have previously posted a few weeks back. 

I know I daydream a bit.  It's a nice escape. ( Hell, who hasn't thought of winning the lottery? )  I guess my daydreaming bits are my way of "envisioning".  I sure as hell did a lot of it during nursing school.  And I daydreamed/envisioned my own home for a very, very long time.  I've dreamt of travel, special occasions with special people and handsome men to come in my life.  I've dreamt of never having to struggle with bills, shooting stars and magical moments.  I feel like I've pretty much had most of those encounters.  And that's a very lucky thing.  Reality always shows up in the morning, but it certainly is fun to daydream and envision away don't ya think?  Perhaps it's another venue to "throw it out to the Universe."  And if that's the case, I've got a busy life ahead of me, as I have been doing a lot of  daydreaming-slash-envisioning lately for what I hope to see in the New Year. 

Whatever the case, daydream and envision away my readers!  Not only is it good for the soul, the Universe just might come knocking on your door.  Make it good and make it count! 
Looks Like a Pretty Good Place to Me!

Tuesday, December 22, 2015

It's Been a While...

Have You Been Naughty or Nice?
Ah, the holidays...keeps us busy it does!   I hope you've got all your presents wrapped and cards sent.  If not, good luck.  I do like Christmas but I have learned to keep it really simple.  I buy for very few people and try really hard to send out cards to all my loved ones and sometimes with a letter!  No letters this year though...next time.  

I've recently experienced some more work drama involving one of my techs.  Geeze...this is new territory for me, as I pretty much get along with anyone and everyone.  The drama that is...But this incident takes the cake.  And unjustifiably so.  I've had a couple of issues with this person before, but this past week it was over the top.  Hell, I'm still trying to piece it all together.  Sadly, this person totally over reacted but I feel like it's not the end if you know what I mean.   Too bad they don't teach you how to deal with work related drama in nursing school. 

I've been on a bit of a cooking kick and madly trying to road test new crock pot recipes so I can take the leftovers to work, if not freeze them for later.  I even had a friend over for dinner to be my guinea pig on one of the newbies.  Thumbs Up I got.  And that one will be a "make again".  The downside to all this manic cooking is that it's kicking my ass with all the running around and getting groceries not to mention the bill itself.  But...I do have yummy food that's healthy and comforting.  That's the important part, right?  Bonus for today's trip:  the cheeses I needed for two separate recipes just happened to be "buy one, get one free".  Cha-ching!  Good thing I have a dishwasher now.  

So as I plug along this week to meet deadlines and promises before Christmas weekend I wish you well.  This chic will be working, but I planned well and took off at the end of the year.  And to much of my delight, I will have dear friends coming to visit New Year's Day weekend.  I can't think of a better way to start off the New Year.  Cheers to that!  elizinashe
Amen! 


P.S.  I have a crush on the Heating & Cooling guy that has done work on my place.  Just putting it out there to the Universe.  (wink, wink.)

Monday, November 23, 2015

Putting It Out There..

Throwing  It Out to the Stars...
I've always said that if you want something, then you need to ask for it, pray for it, wish for it, meditate for it and do a bit of legwork on your own.  In other words, put it out there to the Universe.  And then let it come to you. 

So..as the Holidays keep us rushed and busy with all those mixed feelings that seep into our brain I am putting my wishes out there for the remainder of this year and for years to come before I get too cranky and forget.  

I wish that all my holiday engagements to be fun and stress free surrounded by family and loved ones with a plateful of delicious food and good wine. 

I wish that I too, will have someone wonderful to share new adventures with and create a new branch in my tree of life. 

I wish to never be broke, cold and hungry.  Nobody should live that way.  And I wish that some day I can donate a large sum of money to our local charities who do help those in need with food and heat costs.  

I wish for my aging cat to have a healthy end to his life, when his time comes and for me to have the strength and courage to let him go when the time is right.  He's doing pretty good these days and I hope he sticks with me for a little bit longer.  

I wish for my parents to have good health as they are aging and facing their own new challenges.  And I wish to have strength, courage and a solid rock to lean on when things get tricky, as I am the one who will most likely be their voice and advocate.  And for those who are dealing with that right now, I pray that they have peace in their minds and courage to guide them through their trials.  

I wish for more girl's weekends, more concerts, more travel and more pictures.  I want to get out more in our beautiful mountains, as I have done before.  It's time start up that habit again.  

I wish more fascinating and weird friends and experimental dinners at my place.  And I wish for a cleaner home as I tend to be lazy about the vacuum.  haha...guess I need to work on that one, eh?

I wish for a less violent world, as it just seems to be way out of control.  I pray for our soldiers that serve our country and I imagine more will be sent out to protect our freedom.  I pray for a safe return for them all.  

And I wish for more treats, a healthy lifestyle and good wine.  And hopefully good peeps to share it with.  

Not a bad start and not too much to ask don't ya think?  So what are your wishes?  
Cheers Ya'll! 

Thursday, November 12, 2015

It's Beginning to Happen...

Dig It.
It's true what they say.  Things change as you get older.  And though you may laugh and tease your friends and loved ones when they go thru their changes, when it happens to you it becomes a small slap of "yep, you too."

I don't mind getting older.  In fact, I kind of embrace it.  I like me and I like the person that I've become.  I was pretty proud of my first gray hair.  I found it after my first semester of nursing school.  It was a beautiful, shiny silver long gray hair peeking out from my brown tresses.  I earned that gray hair!  Every inch of it.  

After nursing school, I was in desperate need of some new bras, as the ones that I had been wearing really didn't fit, nor were they comfortable.  I just assumed that it was because they were cheap and old.  That wire stuff really doesn't last as long as they claim.  So after I began to make some money, I relented and went to the mall to get me some new garments for 'the girls.'  I hate to shop, and I hate to try on clothes so going shopping for the necessities took a lot of patience on my part.  However, I chose a few in my regular size, but they still didn't feel quite comfortable and I wasn't about to spend money on a bra, or two when they felt like my old ones.  So I left.  But then I got to thinking, maybe I should get 'sized' just to see if it was me, or the style of the bra.  Much to my surprise, I've grown a cup.  Or most likely, the girls are starting to hang a bit more and carry all the wine that I drank during school.    haha...Who knew that your boobs can get bigger on their own after forty?  Sheesh! 

Now, here I am two years later, and I've noticed that I'm beginning to hold things a little farther away from my face in order to see the print.  Dang!  And this has happened rather quickly it seems.  Like in the last two, maybe three months now.  I kind of laugh about it, but then again it is a bit frustrating.  I have road tested some "readers", a very low grade of 1.25 which seems to help but might not be what I really need.  So...being that I haven't had my peepers checked in about 5 years or so, I took out a vision plan with our insurance so I can get a thorough and proper exam after the New Year.  Guess it's time I start planning ahead with that sort of thing, eh?  

Again, I don't mind getting older.  I still feel like that awkward 12 year old trapped inside of that sloppy post college age adult.  I really have no idea how to really plan ahead, especially when it comes to my health.  All I know what to do is keep brushing my teeth and continue to eat healthy.  Which I pretty much do for the most part.  Guess I just didn't eat enough carrots, huh?  Until next time...elizinashe
Here We Go!

Saturday, October 24, 2015

Actually, I Do Give A...

  Honey Badger Doesn't Feel Good
Shew!  What a week.  Although it has gone by fast, it also has felt like it has gone in slow motion at times.  What has made it worse it that I have felt like complete and utter crap.  I had worked last weekend like normal, came home Sunday morning to sleep and then back to work on Tuesday for the next three nights.  Now, that is a normal "track" for me, but when Monday came, so did the body aches.  And the fatigue.  Ugh...This Honey Badger wasn't happy. 

So..along with the normal hassle and stress of working nights, I was loading up on Vitamin C and Zinc to combat whatever invader was trying to set up house in my body.  Getting up and ready for work was slow and tiresome.  I finally began to feel better on my last night, and this evening has been on the couch with some pizza night.  However, I had picked up an extra shift for tomorrow night weeks ago...so I have one more night to push through.  At least I had tonight to be at home and regroup.  I pray that my night will be uneventful and calm, as my past three nights have been a bit much.  

So, there's a lot of hype about the new Star Wars coming out in December.  Some places have already sold tickets in advance.  I think that kind of sucks. It squeezes out the little people.  But..that's how modern technology and making that money has changed over the years.   I'm totally going...that's for sure.  I loved Star Wars as a kid, and I'm looking forward to the story continuing.  I just hope I'm able to score a pair of tickets like normal people.  Maybe I should stalk our movie houses for pre-sale tickets.  At least I won't have to stand in line, right?   This is one that I definitely want to see on the big screen.  I don't go to movies that much, simply because I get too restless and bored, but I'm pretty certain this will keep my attention from beginning to end.  And I don't want to miss a lick.  I will make sure I won't drink anything prior to the show...sure would hate to take a potty break in the middle of the movie and miss something really cool.  haha..

And so..I will leave it at that.  Maybe I should channel "the Force" to get me through the rest of my weekend.  There is always much to do on your off days but I think I will keep it as simple as possible.  Work, sleep, eat.  That is the focus for the next 24 hours.  That's productive enough don't ya think?  Stay well ya'll.  Peace out.  elizinashe
Bring It On! 

Monday, October 12, 2015

Immigration

A French Lady in New York
Immigration reform and securing our borders is a hot topic political wise.  I don't delve into politics much, nor do I like to talk about it among others because it usually ends up everyone being royally pissed off and therefore treating each other differently.  However, as I was eating a couple of tacos at a local Mexican restaurant, a few thoughts ran across my mind. 

First, we are a nation of immigrants.  We used to welcome them with open arms.  On some level, we are an immigrant ourselves.  Unless, you have Native American ancestors in your bloodline.  But seriously, despite that you may have been born in the United States, as well as your parents, grandparents and so on, where did your original family members come from?  We are immigrants.  

I agree with needing to secure our borders more carefully.  And yes, some of our immigrants, illegal or not, are criminals.  But what's more important, are those who come to our country seeking a better life are the ones to work their ass off, doing jobs that most of us would not even consider.  Those eager and desperate people who come to our country fight hard to educate their children so they don't have to suffer like their own parents have suffered.  These people are the ones who have helped shape and mold our country.  For better and for worse. 

If we had closed our borders all those many, many moons ago and without an Ellis Island, what kind of country would we have?  We are a melting pot of many.  Irish, Italian, Dutch, Korean, Indian, Polynesian, Japanese, Cuban, French, British, Ethiopian, Peruvian, Canadian, Iranian, Turkish, German, Polish, Czech, Russian and so on and so on....We are immigrants.  Without all these different cultures that had blended with the Native peoples that we so snobbishly robbed of their land, ( and you know it happened) what kind of nation would we have?  Think about all the wonderful food we have incorporated in our diets and restaurants because of the many who came here brought their heritage.  Not to mention traditions and beliefs.  And this is all before McDonald's folks.  I'm talking about real food.  And work ethic.  Let's not forget about that.  Family? Always a priority.  Always. 
Looks Like My Kind of Place


I find it ironic that these very thoughts raced across my mind on this Columbus Day.  A day that is recognized that an Italian working for the Catholic Monarchs of Spain "discovered" America.  Kinda weird, eh?  I wonder what he would think of our country today.  Sounds like he started out being a bit of a cultural melting pot himself don't ya think?  elizinashe

“Give me your tired, your poor,
your huddled masses yearning to
breathe free, the wretched refuse
of your teeming shore.  Send
these, the homeless, tempest-tost
to me.  I lift my lamp beside the
golden door!  “

Emma Lazarus
Quote inscribed on Ellis Island

Sunday, October 11, 2015

Out & About

Cupcake Anyone?
Happy Halloween!  It's been years and years since I've been out to celebrate what most people deem the best holiday of the year.  Although the party date was a bit early for Halloween, it felt good to dress up a bit and have some fun with some friends and work peeps.  Lots of pictures were taken, some by me, and the rest came from other party guests.  Can't wait to see those.  I'm pretty certain there were some good ones. 

It's getting cooler now here at the homestead.  Time to break out the long sleeved shirts and extra blankets.  My beloved sandals will have to go into hibernation mode, as my toes will not be happy being naked in the cold air.  The one thing I do like about cooler weather, is wearing my thick, comfy socks.  And if they have a funky pattern to them, all the better.  Gotta have a little flash, right?

I'll admit.  I don't shave my legs as often as I should.  It's just a pain in the ass.  Plus, the 'razor rash' drives me nuts.  I typically use an electric razor because it's much faster plus it doesn't tear up my legs so badly.  Trust me, shaving your legs can be really time consuming.  It's quite a bit of surface area to conquer.  Guess I'm just not that girly.  One thing I have noticed, one leg grows hair a lot faster than the other.  Why is that?  Strange observation, I know.  And maybe a bit of 'TMI".  But that's okay.  At least my  boobs are even.  Haha...

Happy Halloween Ya'll!  It's all downhill from here!  Be safe and be well!  elizinashe
Gettin' Crafty!

Monday, September 28, 2015

This & That, Tit for Tat


What I Wished to Have Seen...
So the Super Moon Lunar Eclipse came and went.  It was either the beginning of the end, or the beginning of a new beginning.  Take your pick.  I myself, will choose the later.  Sadly, it was raining out in my neck of the woods.  In fact, we've had rain for the last three days.  Guess Mother Nature was making up for our hot summer.  Oh well...maybe I'll catch it next time.  I do plan on living. 

I have realized that I just don't make enough time for me.  I don't stop long enough to make fun plans and get out like I used to.  I'm slowly making that change, and taking those small steps to do what I really enjoy.  Like taking pictures.  I realized how much I've missed playing with the camera when my dad came to visit.  So, I'm going to make it a point to do more of that.  Our Fall-slash- Leaf season will be a quick one I'm sure.  So I better get out and do some pointing and clicking before it fades away.  

Speaking of Fall weather, it sure has been a comfort to have some cool days lately.  I must say it's been refreshing and good for the soul.  I just hope it lasts for a nice long while.  This chic is not ready for those single digit temperatures like we had last year.  It was rather stressing to hear my heat pump plug away all night long.  I'm still learning about that thing.  I'm just thankful it still works and that it didn't poop out on me.  Keeping my fingers crossed for this up and coming season.  We never know what may come.  

And so...I hope your Fall is turning out to be as lovely as you had wanted.  And I hope you got a chance to see that Moon.  It certainly is a good excuse to look up at that gigantic night sky don't ya think?  Until next time....elizinashe
Going, Going, Gone...

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Nothing Special

Downtown Greens in the Park
It's been a short while since I've last posted.  There have been numerous times that I've had stuff in my head to write and share...but it's usually at an inconvenient time. (like at work or in the car..and so on.)  So here I be pecking away with all those previous posts that were in my head totally gone.  Haha...oh well.  It will come back to me later I'm sure. 

Dad's visit went pretty well.  I think he had a good time even though he could not stay as long as he had hoped.  And I will just leave it at that.  There are other factors in that mix to which I won't divulge and to a degree, it makes me sad to see him as he grows older and in a "lost" sort of way.  Not lost as in his mind, but just "lost" in what he had expected his retirement would be vs. what it actually turned out to be.  I do have to give him some kudos though.  He weathered some tough times.   I just hope he keeps persevering.  

Oh politics...how I hate thee.  I did watch the Republican primary debate the other night.  I wanted to see what all these sad candidates had to say.  Geeze...at times it was like a circus side show.  Seriously.  At other times, it was a heated discussion.  What bothered me the most about it is that there seems to be only one candidate that actually is working on facts and a best well meant plan of action vs strong personal beliefs and/or vendettas to initiate in order to run our country.  Disgusting...I won't get on my soapbox here but you need to leave your personal beliefs behind, and make wise and well informed decisions regarding keeping our country healthy and strong.  And yes, we need some changes...but changes that will be to our benefit in the long run.   We are an America of many peoples.  And we need to support that.  

And so...I will stop there before I get pissed off.  haha...Politics and Religion.  Stay away from talking about it, right?  So what's in your wallet?  elizinashe

Monday, September 14, 2015

Whew!

Time for a Break!
September certainly started off with a bang.  My dad arrived Wednesday the 2nd and I feel like I've been going at full blast since.  Heck, I was going full blast prior to all that.  I had worked a bunch, then in my off time I was cleaning, getting groceries and getting prepared.  Once dad got here, it was a go, go, go kind of feel.  And then when he left, I had one day to regroup and then bam!  Back to work...sheesh!  Glad I didn't pick up extra this weekend.  I needed the time to collect my thoughts. 

Dad's visit was really good.  Slightly awkward at first but we found our comfort zone and fell into a nice groove.  My basement is now cleaned and organized, my front porch looks white again and I now have craploads of junk from the house that I grew up in.  Some of it quite worthy, others...not so much.  I've already taken two boxes of junk to Goodwill.  There's only so many cookie tins that one needs.  Bonus finds:  a couple of pictures of my grandparents that my mom had at the house, my brother's Rektor set and my childhood Hot Wheels.  Yep...good finds.  

Overall, I think my dad had a good visit.  The roles are certainly changing to a degree.  I've been on both my parents banking accounts for a while now, you know...for the 'just in case' in the future.  My dad also gave me a set of keys to the house and to his car.  You know...'just in case'.  I guess there comes a time regardless.  I suppose you never really can be ready for that kind of change.  Guess it's better to be a bit prepared than to be blindsided.  I just hope that when that time does come, I will have the strength and courage to ride that wave and not drown in all that chaos.  

As for King Hecubus, the Snaggletoothed, (as he was once dubbed by a friend), hid pretty much the whole time my dad was here.  He made his appearance a couple of times, but he mostly banished himself to the bedroom and the downstairs late at night, once my dad was in bed and asleep.  What a pecker.  My cat normally doesn't hide for that long, but then again, I haven't had company stay that long either.  I had to move the litterbox downstairs so he wouldn't pee in the closet, as he did that first night.  (ass...).  And once dad left, I found Hecubus a few hours later, perched on the futon upstairs, sitting comfortably in his lair.  What a stinker.  

And so I will leave you here...it's gotten chilly here at night and it's time for another cup of hot tea.  There is something comforting about sitting in your pj's and holding a warm mug in your hands.  I'm glad for the change although I hope it's brief.  It's just too dang early to be this cold at night.  I hope for a nice comfortable Fall and a long one at that!  Until next time...elizinashe 
I Don't Like Sharing My Human! 

Thursday, September 3, 2015

And the Adventure Begins...

Woo Pig Sooie!
Here we are folks!  My father has arrived....with treats & treasures & lots of junk from the house.  Oh geeze...just when you get to a point where you're organized here comes more stuff.  But ya know..that's okay.  Some of it's pretty cool and sentimental.  

My dad had told me that he had a 'surprise' that he was bringing me.  Although I told him I have plenty of stuff and really don't need anymore he brought me a thirteen piece stainless steel cookware set.  Yowza!  I pretty much have all the pots and pans that I really need, but....this set is pretty spectacular.  Three different sized omelette type pans.  Woo hoo!  And all with lids.  Super!  Guess I've got a lot of cooking to do in the next few months.  Better make some room in my cabinets on those nights when I can't sleep.  

It's been good so far.  I'm glad to have him here and we've had some nice chats on the deck.   I have to give my dad some credit.  He has told me more in his older years than I ever heard as a kid.  Maybe that's a natural progression...maybe that's just him.  Maybe it's me...I'm older and more mature these days.  At least the older part.  Don't know about the maturity gig.  (wink, wink.)

And so...I will leave it at that.  I made a big fat dinner with a bottle of wine of course and a bit of chocolate for dessert.  Tomorrow will be a guinea pig dinner plan as I have found a one pot pasta dish that sounds delicious and should provide plenty of leftovers.  At least for a little while.  After that, I will have to do some more searching.  I can only plan so far ahead...

Tomorrow will be a Lowe's excursion with a quick trip to pick up some lunch type items and snacky foods for dad.  Then it's on to start some 'daddy do' projects while I begin to construct my pasta project.  With wine of course.  I think a cherry pie will be in order for dessert.  I do like to spoil my guests....Until next time...elizinashe
Cheers!

Monday, August 31, 2015

And the Countdown Begins...

Hickory, Dickory Dock...
I've worked myself into a bit of a frenzy getting ready for my father to visit.  It's been getting the bed ready, making meal plans, stocking up on groceries, finding some snack foods that I think he would eat because I know he won't dig the guacamole that I love to devour.  Getting the toilet repaired, as I had a minor leak.  (ugh.)  Having the gutters cleaned out, mostly to stop a horrible mud divet on the side of house from getting worse.  Extra toilet paper, because y'know...a man's gotta go at some point.  Laundry, vacuuming, toilet scrubbing and so on....a quick mop will be in order for tomorrow after a haircut and then hopefully all will be well and ready for his arrival on Wednesday. 

I haven't had anyone stay at my new place for more than one night thus far and it's been years since I've had a 'live in' boyfriend or anyone for that matter, staying with me for an extended period of time.  So this will be a new experience for me.  Hopefully all will go well...it's kinda hard to share your space with somebody else, especially since I've been on my own for so long and have my own routine.  It can be challenging to adapt to another person's habits, noises and needs.  At least I have a nice 'daddy do' list to help keep him busy.  (wink, wink..)  And if I'm really lucky, he will be open to checking out a couple of daytime activities around town just so we both have something different to do and occupy our time.  Keeping my fingers crossed on that one. 

And so...I will leave you at that.  My mind is in a better space than before which is a big relief.  Guess that full moon sucked it out of my head after all.  Might have to treat myself to a nice cocktail and a delicious snack tomorrow.  I have a lot of cooking to do in the near future, so why not?   I certainly could use a treat after all that vacuuming.  haha...Don't ya love justification?  elizinashe
Salut!

Sunday, August 30, 2015

Insecurities

Wish I Were Doing This....
How often do you feel like you're 'not good enough'?  Do ever go through  phases where you are made to feel, or at least, you interpret that you're completely incompetent?  Like you're a total moron?  I've been going through a bit of that lately and I hate it.  I hate that feeling and I hate the anxiety that goes along with it.  As if I didn't have enough issues with anxiety itself.

I've got some time off finally from work, which is much needed but there is a part of my brain that is  stuck back on the unit for reasons that most likely are unfounded.  I hate it when my brain goes to that insecure place.  It's not a comfortable feeling and it's hard to shake it off some days.  Ugh..Hopefully as the full moon moves on, I hope that it will pull all this negative energy away from my body and mind and send it out to orbit where it belongs. 

I have friend who struggles with the 'over thinking' and anxiety issues herself.  And she is totally aware of it.  However, she has a pretty good handle on her busy mind and has worked really hard in embracing all those crazy feelings and ideas, 'feeling the moment' instead of suppressing it as we like  to do, and allow some of that anxiety work its way out of her head and out of her body.   It's a trick I'd like to learn.  That whole 'being aware' thing...and not being afraid of it, nor allowing it to dictate your thinking for the rest of the day.  I'd like to be able to do that someday.  I'd also like to just 'kick it in the junk' as another friend would say.  I think that's more my style.
I Like the Attitude

I know that there are many other who struggle with similar insecurities.  I have seen what anxiety can do to a person.  It's a real thing people.  And I wish it didn't have such a negative connotation.  That's just not fair to the person, nor is it fair to that feeling.  But I feel like we are taught that 'bad feelings' are bad, and not to be felt, or confronted.  And when we are taught to hide our feelings like that, then it just makes you feel all kinds of weird and doubtful.  Who wants to live like that?  Not me.  Until next time...  The sun always comes up, eh?  elizinashe
I Find This Sadly Powerful...


Thursday, August 20, 2015

Friends & Family

What is Normal Anyway? 
You can't pick your family, but you can pick your friends.  That we all know.  Sometimes my friends are better than my family.  Sometimes my family is all I need.  Sometimes I need both.  Other times, I need neither.  

It seems I've had a bit of a mash and reminders of what I just said above.  Guess somebody is trying to tell me something. 

I noticed this past weekend that one of my Facebook friends, a woman that I have been friends with for years, dropped of my friends list.  I just assumed that she intentionally dropped me, as she feels like I'm trying to 'squeeze her out' because we haven't seen each other in a long time.  She even left me a long winded message regarding the 'cold shoulder' a few months back.  Which was not the case in my world, but she's full of drama anyway.  So...I instead of asking her I just let it be.  I don't need a bunch of mindless drama and I felt like maybe this was a way to part ways.  But alas, I was kinda sad about it.  She is a good person after all, she just allows drama to rule her life.  As it turns out, she thought I had dropped her.  For some reason, I had dropped off her list when she had her phone reprogrammed.  Along with some others I would guess.  So we are now FB friends again and remain in contact.  Guess our time really isn't over yet.  

So apparently there is a mini-family reunion this coming weekend at my Aunt's house a couple of hours away.  My mother told me about it a couple of weeks ago.  According to her, this was decided just a few weeks prior suddenly, so our remaining family could get together, eat and visit just like we did when we were all younger.  Sadly I am already scheduled to work and can't get away.  My work schedule is typically done in a month in advance and in one month blocks.  That's just how our unit works.  What bothers me is that even though my Aunt and cousins are on my Facebook, nobody but my mother told me.  Maybe they just assumed that she would let me know, but still...they could have given me a heads up.  Why couldn't they ask when I was free so we could all meet?  It kind of makes me feel left out.  Just like always.  What they don't realize is that my cousins are really all the family I will have left when the time comes.  Do they not know that I might need them in my life?  I do love my family, and I have wonderful memories spending time with them all.  But...it's family.  And they can be pretty clueless at times.  At least I have good friends.  

Speaking of...they say real friends will always be there no matter how long it's been since you've seen each other or when you had last talked.  I totally believe that.  There are times when I go months without talking to some of my friends, simply because life is funny that way, but when we do finally talk, it's like we had just spoken the day before.  I like that feeling.  And what's more hopeful, is that my childhood best friend who now lives in Texas might be coming out this way to visit in November.  I've already penciled it in on my calendar so I don't pick up any extra shifts that weekend that she may be in town.  We haven't seen each other in about ten years if not longer.  I wish I could see her everyday but time and distance has kept us apart.  I have always had faith that we will see each other again, that I know.  And it looks like this Fall will be a brief reunion.  I pray that we both have good health and safe travels so we can reunite.  I need to see my 'wusband' as we call each other.  I think it will do us both some good for the heart and soul.  

And so that's the scoop ya'll.  Dad to arrive in a couple of weeks.  I know he's excited and I'm looking forward to it as well.  It should be a good time and I have a nice list of 'daddy do' things for him.  He's wanting to meet with my mom and visit with her so it will most likely be a lunch date with the two of them  Ugh...that will be awkward as hell.  I am not looking forward to seeing that.  But...there's not much I can do to change that.  Wish me luck.  Hope you have family still around and close friends in your circle.  You gotta have some of that, if not both.  And if you do then you're pretty blessed.  Hopefully whomever is in your circle makes you feel fulfilled and loved.  Because that's what really matters does it not?  elizinashe 
How Friends Should Be

Saturday, August 15, 2015

While the Rooster Crows....

Is It Time for Coffee Yet?
It's very early in the morning.  Or super late at night.  Depends on how you look at it.  Coming off a string of night shifts I am....fell asleep for about three hours after dinner and have been awake ever since.   Typical for me since I've been working  this past week.  I'm debating on just staying up until the stores open since I do have some errands to battle.  Take a little nap in the afternoon and carry on.  I could even make myself a little breakfast at a normal time for a change.  We shall see...

I've been in a tizzy getting things done around the house for when my dad comes to visit.  Task number one completed this morning, thanks to a co-worker who helped me.  The ball cock joint on my toilet is officially functional and without that creepy moaning noise I have been hearing after each flush.  Good thing it wasn't Halloween when all that started to happen. That would have creeped me out a bit.  Only a man would come up with a name such as 'ball cock joint' for a toilet part.  Sounds like something a hooker would say.  

I love a good joke.  I really dig those cartoon type things that pop up on the internet and Facebook.  Cracks me up.  And when I see a good one, or hear a good joke I spread it all around.  I pester everyone I know sharing the quip.  Maybe it comes from living alone for so long.  Either way, it's the little things that get you by, don't ya think?  Laughter certainly is good for the soul.  

And so...I will end this little ditty for the morning.  My neighbor's chickens and reigning rooster are beginning to greet the morning.  I guess I should be greeting my bed.  However...the stores will be opening soon.  Maybe I should watch the news and make the dash.  Hmm...decisions, decisions...until next time.  elizinashe
Never Run out of Wine...

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Quibbles...

Peace, Love & Harmony...
I'm a pretty nice person.  I can be really mean too.  But, for the most part, I'm pretty easy going and I can pretty much get along with anybody.  I don't do drama and I feel like I'm pretty tolerant of most people.  However, there are times when I'm a bit naive, too quick with my words  and then I end up in trouble.  It seems that I may have stepped into a bit of that trouble work wise.  

The issue itself really is quite trivial and it appears that it's just a personality clash with a little stubbornness.  Which, I can be a bit stubborn, there's no question about that, but work wise, I think I do pretty well.  But when you come across co-workers who have been allowed to make decisions that is not completely in their job description, and they insist that things are done in their way then we will have a bit of a problem.  I admit that I am still learning my new role, but I think I make pretty wise decisions and well thought out plans but when I have people that I depend on to help run my unit rebel against me because they have been allowed to do differently,then things can get a bit tricky. 

I am certain that it will all blow over.  At least for me.  I do intend to be more careful of my words as I am fairly direct and sometimes too blunt with what comes out of my mouth, which has caused unintended offense but I will not engage in a pissing contest at all whatsoever.  If you don't like it, then go work elsewhere.  I have more important things to focus on during my working hours.  

So how do you deal with snarky rebels in your job?  How do you enforce your plan without pissing everyone off and being viewed as an asshole?  Or in my case, a micromanaging you-know-what.  And if there's not a common ground of peace, what happens next?  Keeping my fingers crossed that all will be well when I go back to work.   I don't like drama and I don't like stupid confrontation such as this.  It's a complete waste of my energy.  And I need every bit of energy I can muster.  Peace out ya'll.  elizinashe

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Guess I'm a Nite Owl Afterall...

I'd Kinda Like to be Here Right Now
Yep. I'm awake.  I should be asleep by now but I guess my body is just so acclimated to the cause that even in my off time, I'm still up.  No big deal really.  It just messes with my daytime plans.  And important ones, too.  Only us night shifters can understand where I'm coming from.  Sure wish my night driving eyesight were better.  I could take the opportunity to take some night pics.  Guess I need to eat some more carrots, eh? 

How close are you to your family?  I mean, are you super tight and tell each other everything?  Or is it just more a general type of family function?  Or perhaps, you all hate each other and only get together on holidays because that's just what you're supposed to do. 

I'm fairly close with my parents.  I know my mother wishes we could be closer, but there are and have been issues that just made things different for me, even at a young age.  My dad...well..we are pretty close but it seems that we are closer on the telephone than in person.  Does that sound weird?  Maybe it's me.  Maybe I have a hard time getting close to people.  Or maybe it's just getting close to my family.  I have some pretty tight friends, and they have seen me at my ugliest and lowest points and they have seen me at my very best.  And I have no problem telling my friends that I love them.  Family...that's a bit different.  Sometimes I know why, and other times I do not.  I just wish it would feel, or shall I say be normal to be that way. 

So what do you do when you can't sleep?  Other than think of totally random things like family and "being close", which clearly is what is on my mind tonight.    Make yourself some scrambled eggs, have a glass of wine and a smoke and go to bed.  And in that order.  (insert winking emoji here.)  I've already devoured my eggs, my wine glass is almost empty and I'm ready for that smoke.  Nitey nite!  elizinashe

Monday, July 20, 2015

Musings in the Bathroom

No Norman Here....
Why is it that the most random thoughts pop into your head while you're in the shower?  It's not surprise to me that some of the greatest ideas have happened while you're sitting on the john or soaking in the tub.  Guess it's just one of those things. 

As I was taking my shower this afternoon, the most random thought came to light.  I think we can all agree that the world we live in is so much different than the world we grew up in.  When I was younger, like say 9, 10 years old...and after, my mom would happily drop me and my friend(s) off at the local pool and pick us up later.  Yep.  Us younglings were released from parental supervision to spend the afternoon at the pool, where anything could have happened, but never did.  I remember being dropped off at the movies with my friends, all by ourselves with no parents, to catch a show.  These days, I wonder if parents do the same.  I know if I were a parent I sure as hell wouldn't drop off my kid without some sort of adult supervision.  Our world today is just too fucked up to leave kids alone like that.  I guess I am lucky that I had that experience, and even luckier still that nothing horrible happened.  

Ah politics....I'm tired of it already.  I'm really not one to voice a lot of opinions on the matter but it's getting a little hard lately.  Simply because people are misinformed, stupid and believing all the bullshit that has been dished out because our country has been brainwashed that our current leader has led our country into a horrible despair.  Which, I believe is not true.  I don't understand why the general public expects our President(s) to be perfect and fix all of our national problems in their first year of term and/or their whole term.  That's just not realistic.  C'mon folks...let's get real.  And to insult and devalue a veteran and POW who has served, and still serving our country,  is completely unpatriotic.  What a freakin' idiot.  Have some respect jackass.  And keep talking...soon enough all political parties will happily kick you out of the running and I will rejoice on that day in full regalia.  That will be a most joyful day indeed.  Now to work on the other contenders....keeping my fingers crossed.  

I work in a really difficult field.  It's kinda my norm really.  Some days are really tough, and others are just like any other day.  No big deal.  Just like any other job.  I think anyone could say that regardless of what they do for a living.  But today, as I was coming home from work, I realized how lucky I really am.  Not because I have a good job, to which I do, but I am thankful for having some pretty good health, a nice roof over my head and my wits about me.  I have come across some really sick people.  Not only physically but mentally as well.  Most physical issues you can heal, or find ways to live your life.  For those with mental illness, its a daily battle.  Especially those who so caught up in a world that's not really real, but real to them, it can be a horrible life.  And there is very little to change that.  Yes, medicines can help, but it won't make it go away completely.  You can take meds to get rid of a cold or a headache, but you can't take away mental illness.  And that must be a very difficult thing to live with every day.  I wish people understood that more.  

And so...I will end it here.  I still am in desperate need of a beach getaway.  I'm so jealous of other people's beach vacations and their pictures to prove it that have been splashed across my news feed on FB.  I had vowed after nursing school that I'd make a quick getaway to the beach, as I have not been in about 10 years or so.  But alas...I just haven't been able to go.  Maybe next year.  However, as I have said before, if you put it out there in the Universe, then it will come to you.  So I will leave a nice beachy pic to which I hope to be in that beachy pic this time next year.  Guess I better start working on the bikini body, eh?  elizinashe
Don't Forget the Flipflops!

Thursday, July 9, 2015

Picky Bits

Ever Feel Like This?
Ever feel like you're being "left out'?  Like you're the last kid to be picked to be a member of the team?  I've been that kid.  And it didn't feel good. I kinda feel like I'm in that place again.  Kinda sucks.  And what kind of word is "kinda" anyway? 

I've learned that the house next door to me has become one of those Airbnb rentals.  I had my suspicions one weekend and upon my internet search, sure enough there it was.  So far, the clients who have been in and out, which have been many this past month, have been pretty quiet.  What has really irked me is that there have been two occasions where these visitors parked behind my house in my extra driveway.  Not cool.  Both cars were removed after I had asked them to move.  Why would a complete stranger park in somebody else's house when they are not the guest of that home?  I find it quite rude.  I've already contacted the owners of this Airbnb thru their website, asking them to remind their clients that they are not allowed to park on my property.  If it happens again, it won't be pretty.  If you are not my guest, my friend or my family then don't park in my driveway.  Period.  

How long is too long to respond to a message?  I'm a rather inpatient person by nature but I have sent two different friends a message regarding this weekend in the last couple of days and so far no reply.  Nothing.  Kinda makes me wonder.  Makes me a bit sad too.  It's hard to keep up with friends, especially when you have a crazy work schedule such as mine.  So when I reach out it means I really want to talk to you. 

 I envy those who have normal working schedules and have all sorts of fun and exciting things planned.  I envy those who are able to take long vacations and make several beach trips during the year.  It must be nice.  And I am glad that they are able to do so.  But there's a part of me that's a bit jealous.  Maybe a lot jealous...I just haven't had the opportunity to have that pleasure.  I'm a one income household.  And that can be a bit difficult at times.  I'm very happy to be independent, don't    get me wrong about that.  I've worked very hard to get back on my feet, and have a good income.  But it's still a struggle at times and there are days that I wish that there was another person by my side to share this journey with me.  Struggles and all.  That's not too much to ask is it? 

In the meantime, the wheels are turning in my head to plan ahead and do something really fun at the end of the year.  I want to be somewhere sunny and warm, surrounded by friends for New Year's Eve.  I have a couple of ideas planted in my head already.  The trick is getting some peeps together to join me, as the holidays typically keep friends committed to their family fares.  Keeping my fingers crossed and my hopes realistic.  I really want to make this happen.  Hopefully I will find some victims to join me in my endeavor.  Wish me luck!  I just might need it.  elizinashe

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes...

Do I Have To? 
Change is hard.  Especially when you are used to something that is safe and comfortable.  But, change is inevitable.  That's a fact.  Might as well embrace it and move forward.  Otherwise you really won't grow.  

My bank recently informed me that I will be charged an $8.00 fee per month for my monthly statements.  I wasn't really surprised.  But..I wasn't happy about it either.  However, I can receive 'credits' if I keep a minimum balance of X amount of dollars or X amount of debit transactions and more credits if I choose to receive on-line statements, instead of paper.  Thus, I can totally eliminate all fees by going paperless and keeping a set amount of money in my account at all times.  Sounds easy enough, but I do like my paper.  I like getting those monthly statements and checking things off so I know how much money I've spent (eek!) and making sure my balance matches what my bank statement says.  Needless to say, I've gone to paperless statements to which they will now arrive in my email account.  Ugh.  I already get enough crap in my email and most of it is junk these days.  Aside from work, does anyone really email anyone anymore?  Anyway..so I'm moving forward in this endeavor.  I refuse to pay any bank fees just to be a customer.  Hopefully I won't screw things up in my attempts to do this on-line banking thing.  

My mother has been going through some changes herself which is making her think twice about a lot of things, to which I'm pretty sure it's got her freaked the hell out and she's not willing to totally admit that to me.  And it looks like my role in the situation will be taking more of a lead to which I know she will have some real struggle with.  She's always been a really strong and independent woman and these life changes that she is facing is going to be really hard.  And I think it's all beginning to really sink in and she's beginning to make some changes that I think are not so smart on her part, because she's beginning to get a little panicked.  That I  know, without her admitting that to me.  Keeping my fingers crossed that she doesn't do anything totally stupid.  If only she would listen to me....I mean, really listen to me.  And that is key.  Otherwise, she will be miserable.  And I will leave it at that.  

So..how do you handle change?  They say 'Change is good'.  And I will agree with that.  At least for the most part. Some changes are not so nice.  And it's those 'not so nice' changes that really freak me out and throw me out of my element.  I hope that the changes that are ahead of me are nice and slow so I can transition and get comfortable in that new skin.  I know it won't be easy but there's not too much I can do to make it different.  Fingers crossed and deep breaths, this too shall pass.  elizinashe

Sunday, June 21, 2015

Letting Go & Moving Forward

A Good Reminder...
Sometimes the hardest thing is to just "let go" and keep going.  I tend to worry a lot.  Sometimes it holds me back.  Sometimes it drives me crazy.  Sometimes I just ignore it.  I think I need to practice the 'ignoring' part more.  

There's a really great movie on the tube tonight.  However, it brings me back to a time in my life that wasn't so pretty.  In fact, it was probably one of the lowest points in my life.  What really bothers me about this remembrance is the absolute solitude that surrounded me at that time, despite my parents being around me.  They too, were going through their own crapola, and as a result, did not even recognize how much I was hurting and how much I needed them to be my parents instead of having their own pissing contest between them.  And I was a witness to all of that.  Not a good thing.  It just made matters worse in my world and reinforced that lonely feeling I was already struggling with.  

I am thankful for where I am today.  In a way, I wouldn't not have made it if it weren't for that horrible time in my life.  I hope to God that I won't have to live like that ever again.  I don't know if I can survive that again.  It's stressful enough knowing that as my parents age, that I am the one to be their advocate and caretaker.  Alone.  I am the surviving child, as my brother died unexpectedly when he was 20 years old.  And my cousins have their own shit so I really don't depend on them.  So...it's on me.  And as my mother has had some recent issues and my dad seems to be clueless as to what he needs to be aware of, it makes me worry at times.  Who's going to be my guide?  Who's going to be my rock when I lose my shit?  

I love the life that I have right now.  I can only hope it will get better.  It's tough doing it all alone.  I don't think people understand how much of a challenge it can be supporting yourself and being responsible for so much.  I don't think people understand that even though you have a good job, and a nice place to live, you still have to make sacrifices.  And that gets pretty boring.  So instead of going out all weekend long, going to see live music or a movie, I choose to stay home.  Why?  Because it's not that easy.  When you have unexpected bills and planned bills, those things add up.  So, in order to keep my wits about me, I have stayed home this weekend despite my want to go and find me a live band somewhere and eat up some live action.  I do thrive on that...and I should do it more.  And I would have if I hadn't had an unexpected vehicle repair.  But, whatever....I have wheels that work.  And that is priority.  

And so, as I end this self pitying post, I will return to my movie, reminding my self of how far I have come and reminding myself that there is so much more waiting for me.  That my friends, is something I tend to forget.  Tomorrow always comes.  I have faith that tomorrow will be a better day.  Until next time....elizinashe
Need to Practice This More...