Where Does the Time Go ?

I am here I am here I am here! 

It's been such a long, long time I know. Life has been a whirlwind. 

Seriously. 

 Does one ever catch up? 

 Christmas is soon to arrive. The cards are done. ( I think.) Packages sent off. Two to deliver in person. Keeping it simple. 

 Crossed a big hurdle yesterday and it felt good. Just a couple more steps and hurdles and I will finally be done with my mother's estate. My goodness...has this process ever been a pain in the ass. 

I know I did spend time grieving but I wonder once this is all over and the property is sold-will I have another breakdown? I feel like the real greif will come back because I"ve had to be so responsible for her house the last two years that maybe I have not allowed myself to fully grieve?

I don't know. I guess time will tell. 

And if I do revisit the grief process all over again, then so be it. It certainly has been a journey. Hell, Life is a journey is it not? 

In the meantime, I hope your Christmas will be a festive and happy one. May the New Year be the greatest one yet! 

I saw a little quote the other day which I have now adopted to keep in my head and keep my afloat. 

 I dig it. 

" I'm about to walk into the greatest year of my life." 

I'll keep this mantra with me for quite some time. I hope you do too. Until next time...elizinashe

Running On Empty

Ever Feel Like This ?

 This adulthood stuff is for the birds.  

 

It seems I will never catch up.  My house is a wreck.  My mom's house is a wreck.  Small progress there though.  Fingers crossed that the antique lady will take some goods off my hands.  And I've sold one piece for sure.  Got a dude coming Wednesday to pick it up.  So that is a huge thing.  After that, I'm just going to hire someone to clear out everything else.  I am so fucking tired of this shit. 

 

I have neglected my own home.  And the energy here is suffocating.  I need to do some more dumping.  And a good dumping of all the negativity.  Music has been my therapy for sure.  Been piddling away at a few things on this hot Sunday afternoon, got two bags of clothes to take to the Goodwill.  Christ, did my mom save everything.  Including three suitcases of more clothes and bed sheets.  Jesus, how much does one woman need?  I love my mom.  And I miss her terribly but this is not fun at all.  And I know she never meant to leave me such a task.  But her Life took a bad turn and it was time to put the Big Girl Pants on and follow through with some very tough decisions.  Alone.  And that was the hardest part of it all. 

 

One little perk of my day, I hung some photos on my wall today that houses many other pictures that I have taken in the past.  So I got a little crafty.  And that felt good.  I hope I can get to a point that I can have more crafty time while there is music in the background.  Will I ever catch up?  

 

Do we ever catch up in our duties and responsibilities?  Is this a life long struggle?  I need to know so I don't continue to beat myself up about getting everything done as it should.  And where do I get this from?  

 

I think I'd rather crawl under my blanket fort and color, have some snacks and take a nap.  Anyone want to join me?  It sure does sound like more fun than this adulting stuff.  Until next time...elizinashe 

Doesn't This Look Cozy ?

Hold On

 It's been a while.  It's been busy.  My mind has been busy.  Life is busy. 

But I am here.  I guess that's the important thing.  

I've had lots to write I just haven't posted it or transferred my crazy thoughts to this thing yet.  And maybe I won't .   Funny how us writers can be.  That is if you consider me a writer.  I have come up with some good ones here and there.  Others not so much.  

Lots of changes in my world.  Small progressions with my moms estate.  People wonder why it's taken me so long.  Well...until it happens to you don't judge.  Friends, co-workers, family...they don't get it.  I thought I'd be a lot further along than I am now but that is just not the case. I've hit a lot of roadblocks and that gets super disappointing.  But I have Faith that something will work out the way it is supposed to.  But I refuse to drag this shit out.  I pray that God will give me the Strength and Guidance that I need. 

My Life is good.  I am grateful.  And I am anxiously awaiting a most ridiculous shirt to arrive that I ordered for a friend who has officially retired.  I wish I could see his face when he opens it as he lives far away.  Maybe I can get his lady to video the big reveal.  That would be hilarious.  

So in the meantime my readers, whoever you are...I hope you are well.  It's been hot all around.  Hope you have air conditioning and lots of lemonade.  Or whatever floats your boat in the Summer day.  

As for me I'm staying at home spending some time with Tom Waits.  I really dig him.  And this song.  Although it's a bit of a tragic song, I like to think it's about Faith.  I think it's beautiful.  I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.  Until next time...elizinashe 

https://youtu.be/0P5jV4lHHR0

I Was Loved

Hello Mr  Bee !

 Ever get one of those friend requests on social media and you're not sure if it was a genuine request or one of those algorithm things because you have friends in common or because you went to the same school?

Yeah...I got one of those.  However, this request was from a guy I dated in high school.  Actually the only guy I really dated in high school.  I was sort of shocked and confused at the same time.  Did he really send me a friend request?  Did he really remember me?  Or was it sent to me because we went to the same school?  I had no idea. 

Until today.  He actually messaged me personally to confirm the said request.  Wow!  And I was shocked that he still remembered me as it was so long ago.  And of course, I accepted his request and we proceeded to have a lovely on-line chat to catch up.  

He was my first love.  My first serious boyfriend.  My first so many things.  He was "my first".  If you know what I mean.  And apparently I too was his first love.  And he has strong memories of our time and certain specifics that still to this day he has not forgotten.  My goodness.  I thought only girls did that sort of thing.  I thought it was a "my first love" kind of thing that only girls talked about or put in their memory book.    I guess guys remember this shit too.  

It was so lovely to have this chat, to know that he remembered our time together and that it had meant something to him too in those crazy days of high school when we were trying to figure shit out and head into the college years and adulthood.  Which we both agree the whole adult life is not quite what we expected.  There should be a class preparation on that sort of thing in high school don't ya think?  

Regardless, it was a lovely moment to catch up, reminisce and to learn, after all these years, I too was loved way back in high school.  When it means so much when you are living in those young and dumb years, but as time goes on you learn that there is more life and love beyond those innocent and sometimes not so innocent years.  (ahem).  However, as goofy as I was, and as short as our relationship was, I had meant something to him and he had not forgotten about it.  And that meant so much to me after all this time.  Not that I was holding my breath or anything and I had always remembered him  but it's always good to know that you made an impact on someone and had given them something to cherish.  

Not a bad way to spend a hot afternoon staying inside of my home with the AC pumping away chatting away on line.  Made my heart happy to reconnect and know that our time together really was something.  

Until next time...elizinashe

I Hope You Feel Loved Too !

Happy Hump Day

Hello Lady Bug !

 It's the middle of the week.  But for me it really doesn't mean anything.  It's just the a day before I go back to work for the next three nights.  I hope those nights will be kind to me. 

It's warming up out my way.  And the pollen is all in the air just as Mother Nature has planned.  As for this chic, I'm staying inside with the AC running.  Tired of open windows and sneezing.  It was time.  I do believe we have some rain coming in the next couple of days so that will help bunches.  I look forward to a nice cleanse.  

I"m being rather lazy today.  I've had a busy week in my time off.  And now is a good day to hermit and listen to some music.  I"m just not feeling seeing a bunch of people today.  I've done my errands, got some meals planned and wine in the fridge.  I might even take a nap.  Sometimes that is how I recharge my soul. And that's totally okay.  I know when my body needs to be quiet.  And today is that kind of day. 

So my readers, I hope your Spring is rejuvenating. I hope the pollen doesn't bother you too much.  I hope you snag up some flowers and watch them bloom.  That is on my bucket list for next week.  I try and keep it simple for sure.  It's the only way to roll don't ya think?  Until next time...elizinashe

Bee Happy !

It's Been A While...

 Hello my Readers

Have you missed me? 

I have missed taking time to write or shall I say Blog as this is what this thing is.  Does anyone Blog anymore?  Social media is all so immediate these days.  Do you Twitter?  Instagram?  Facebook? Does My Space still exist? 

It's been a busy time out my way.  My dad came out to visit for a bit and that was a lot of preparation for his arrival plus a the saga of his lost luggage via the airline as he flew into town this time.  Ugh. What a mess that was!  

Spring has sprung and so has the pollen.  Achoo!  But it's lovely to see things pop up, green up and bloom. The Hostas that my fella transplanted from my mother's place last year to the side of my house are popping up and I have some big leafy greens and the blooms will soon come.  It's been a lovely surprise.  It just thrills me to see that they are thriving on my end of town.  And a little piece of my mother's garden around my home. 

I plan on finding some hanging basket of Wisteria as I had been influenced by my grandmother who had a trellis upon entering their yard and it was covered with huge blooms of this wonderful flower.  I have always wanted to have some around my home.  I hope to be successful this year in continuing my grandmother's love for flowers.  My thumb is not that green so wish me luck! 

I have other fun plans for the season and I hope to visit some friends from afar as that fills my soul.  My peeps are everything to me and I need to be in their company as time is precious.  I'd rather travel to see my peeps that don't live here than spend time on a cruise.  Don't get me wrong.  I do love a beach.  I just don't want to be trapped on a boat.  I think I'd rather rent a big condo and have my peeps join me.  That way we can do whatever we want on our own timeline.  That is more relaxing to me. 

In the meantime, I hope you are well.  I hope your Spring brings you joy.  Just keep some Kleenex handy for those allergy ridden days.  Achoo!  Until next time...elizinashe.

Hooray !

I Love Sunflowers !

 Today is the first day of Spring.  Yea !  

 

Have you tried the broom trick?  Do you even know what that is?  It's also March Madness.  Watching the games?  Is your bracket already screwed?  Who you rooting for? 

 

It's a lovely day here.  Windy but lovely.  The birds have finally discovered the suet feeder.  And I've already replaced the feed again today.  It makes me happy.  And the Squid too.  He loves watching them through the door.  It's so funny to watch him make his little noises and flick his tail around while they feed.  He wants to get them so badly!  But I refuse to let him out.  It's a viewing pleasure for sure. 

 

The Easter season is upon us.  And we will get a cold snap as that typically happens out my way.  The "Dogwood Winter" as they say.  And then we will have a "Blackberry Winter" .  And then the hot weather will follow.  But for today, I will soak it up.  I needed a sunny day like today, feeding the birds, clearing out some clutter.  Got dinner plans and game watching with my fella.  So what's on your list today?  Until next time...elizinashe 

Peaceful Day

Slow Saturday

Hello Daisies !

 It's really pretty outside today and I have been enjoying the sunshine and fresh breezes.  It's been a while since we've had such lovely weather.  But alas, I know the cold will come again.  It's the way Mother Nature rolls.

Still picking away with my mother's belongings.  I am hopeful that I can sell the antiques soon since that is my biggest issue right now.  Not to mention the loads of blankets and bed linens she had.  Sheesh!  And oh!  I found more clothes too.  Christ did she save everything!  Sometimes it's comical and sometimes it's a pain in the ass.  

In the meantime, I am still here.  Just trying to keep a steady pace with all that needs to be done and take time to stop and relax and not stress so much.  It serves me no purpose.  

I hope you my readers, whoever you are, find time to stop and breathe a bit.  Our world sure is a shitshow.  By all means, take time for yourself and unplug from whatever chaos surrounds you.  We all could use a bit more of that don't you think?  Until next time...elizinashe

How About a Refreshing Beverage ?

A Little Something I Wrote

 Sometimes in the wee hours I have a good creative spark.  Sometimes I write a spurt of words that swim in my head.  And sometimes it's good.  

 

So here I am sharing a piece that I wrote back in December.  I hope you like it.

 

Soon to Wake, Soon to Bed

 

Are the Sugar Plum Fairies dancing in your head?

Will the Elf on the Shelf be staring at you?

Soon the familiar sound of the four paws will be tip toeing into your room.

The low grumbly sighs will ensue followed by a small whimper

A slight snuggle to awaken you before the foghorn lets loose.

Now you rumble out of bed rubbing the sleep from your eyes

Wishing you had ear plugs to muffle that excited yawp.

Your day beings in the chill of the morning light

The skies pink and purple the fog slowly rising from the valleys

Maybe a little trail of your own breath you see

As Mother Nature rises to greet the day

You also rise to begin your day and leave the slumber for the coming night. 

 

Tick Tock  goes the clock

Still have a sweeping hand to make a few more orbits.

Calm are the wee hours

It can be torture

It can be peaceful

It can be productive

But it is mine and sometimes mine alone. 

I do not mind this routine

It certainly is a strange one.

But some people are just meant to live a strange life.

Soon to speak as the Sun begins to rise and the birds sing

Tell a story I do, laugh a bit or shed a tear or two.

Slip out quietly into the brisk morning greeted by the pink and purples

Head towards the mountains clearing the mind quieting the brain.

Then it is time to unravel to decompress to forget

And have a sip or two to wash it all away.

Time now to crawl into the cave of my bed warm and cozy

Drifting away to the quiet of the neighborhood

As the new day begins to tell her story

I begin to drift away to dream of wonderful things

While the birds lull me to sleep. 

 

 

 

 

A New Year Already ?

 Happy New Year!  

Hard to imagine it's 2022.  Seems so strange.  I hope it will be a good one. 

 

I Really Dig Me Some Waites

After an unusually warm December, we finally had our first snow come through during the night.  It was just enough to cover the trees and the car without much hinderance of getting around town. Which brought me much delight as I needed to run errands.  Not much traffic either or panicked shoppers.  Yea! 

 

So here I sit, relaxing in my messy home listening to Tom Waites while I continue to ignore the vacuum or the clutter of my mother's stuff in the front room that I just have zero motivation to pilfer through.  Maybe a glass of wine will give me the motivation.  haha...

 

My kitty Squid pretty much lives on his new floofy pillow I found on sale last month.  I really didn't need to spend the extra money but it was one of those things that I just couldn't pass up.  And I'm glad I got it.  He loves it so!  Plus, he looks pretty darn cute on it too.  It's a win win situation for all. 

 

I hope your New Year brings you much peace and joy.  I'm ready for some positive forward movement.  Aren't you?  Until next time...elizinashe 

Ain't He Cute ?