Troubled Mind

My Head is a Mess Today

Today should be a day of fun and relaxation.  I had plans for dinner with some friends but alas, life got in the way and I had to cancel.  We were pretty flexible about it anyway, but I was looking forward to doing something different and spending time with good peeps. 

My kitty is sick and I had to take him back to the vet this afternoon as he's not recovering like he should when I took him three nights ago.  It just breaks my heart to take him to the vet, as it stresses him out in a terrible way, and it worries me as well.  He's getting old and puny.  I know he doesn't feel good and I wish I could just take his discomfort away.  But I can't.  I just want to hold him in my arms and make it all better.  Hopefully the vet will be able to determine what's going on this time around.  And I hope it's quick.  It's weird to be in the house without him hanging around. 

I fell asleep on the couch earlier this afternoon, which I needed a good nap but man...were my dreams ever weird.  First, I had a brief period of Sleep Paralysis.  If you don't know what that is, look it up and hope you never experience it.  It's a very strange and frightening feeling.  Then I dreamt that I fell down some stairs, catching myself before I hit the ground and after that I had a really weird dream which involved my father.  No, not one of those dreams.  Let's get real.  I'll just say it was quite disturbing and scared me a bit.  I'm pretty sure it's all related to my subconscious and my worries about his health and aging, especially since he's so far away.  Regardless, it was a disturbing dream.  It's kind of messing with my head. 

In the meantime, I'm trying to keep myself busy while I wait for the vet to call and the memories of my afternoon dream waft away.  It's not a very happy Sunday for me....it actually kind of sucks.  It's been a long, hard week on many levels.  Sometimes this adult stuff sucks ass.  Wish I would have known this sooner.  haha...I'm just moving through the waves.  At least my head is still above water.  Until next time....elizinashe

Hoping for a Better Door This Week

What's In the Bag?

She's Cute in Red

The English are pretty well devoted to their Queen and all things Royal.  It's a different country with a long history of a regal ruler.  It certainly is not like what it used to be but some traditions are still intact with all its pomp and circumstance. 

Future Queen Age 7

Anyway...the Queen.  As I was trying to fall asleep the other night, this random thought crossed my mind for no particular reason.  Maybe it was my brain's way to throw out our country's hot mess of a political situation.  Regardless, the Queen has always carried that same type of 'pill box' handbag in all of her years of Reign.  No should bags, no glitzy clutches, no wallet styles or a simple small purse.  Always an old lady handbag.  An apparently that started at an early age back in the day.

So my question is, how many handbags does she have after all these years?  And what does she keep in that little pillbox of a bag?  Tissues perhaps?  No, she's Royalty.  That would be a monogrammed handkerchief.  What about lipstick?  Certainly eye glasses these days.  A compact of powder?  What does a Queen keep in her purse?  Does she have a key to the Palace in case she gets locked out?  Pepper spray?  What about a smart phone? Hmm..an itinerary and notes of people's names so she won't forget who's who  at whatever gathering she may be attending?  Curious minds want to know. 

What's in your wallet Your Royal Highness?  This down-to-earth chic wants to know!  I'll show you mine if you show me yours.  😉  Until next time...elizinashe

You Think She's Got a Flask in That Bag? 

Late Night Bits

Cheers! 

Our hot weather is beginning to settle in for a few days.  Ugh...not looking forward to that at all.  Keeping my fingers crossed that my air conditioning unit doesn't crap out on me.  It's still really new, and I always have a routine maintenance checks to make sure all the bells and whistles are in good shape.  I think I will be fine. 

I caught up with a traveling girlfriend today.  I'm lucky if I see her once a year.  She has an unusual job and is sometimes in my area for work.  She will be leaving by the end of the week for her next gig.  I've known this woman for nearly twenty years now.  Wow...amazing.  It seems like we just saw each other yesterday.  Funny how those kind of friendships work, eh?  Needless to say...we headed downtown for some shopping, eats and drinks and lots of catching up.  It was hot for sure, but the time spent with a girlfriend and a few drinks made it more than worth the while.

My kitty has been kind of puny lately.  I almost took him to the vet the other evening, but he seemed to rally around and his complaints were mostly food related.  But...he hasn't quite been himself since I've been home.  He's a bit more quite and somewhat isolative but mostly to the couch.  Hmmm...he still has his bright, curious eyes but there is something else behind them too.  I know he doesn't feel good.  I don't know if it's the heat or if he's on his way out of this life.  And if it's the latter of the two, it won't be pretty for me.  Especially since I'm about to start a long stretch of days at work.  It may come down to calling out sick one night while I deal with what may come to pass.  I hope I'm wrong.

Being that I'm often up late at night, I see airplanes high in the sky, making their way across the night.  Although we have a small airport, I know at this time of night there aren't any major flights coming in for a landing nor is anything taking off.  It makes me wonder where that plane came from, where is it going and who's on the plane in these wee hours.  Where is this "red eye flight" taking them?  Makes me wonder....

I have a post "saved" for a possible publish.  It's a bit harsh I think but looking back on previous posts, I was often critical and sometimes quite sarcastic about whatever random topic I chose to write about.  I have that random post finished and ready but I'm hesitant to hit that button and make it known to my readers.  I'm not really sure why.  It's not that I want to censor myself, but I feel like it's a bit immature and possibly mean.  But it sure did feel good to write about something else for a change other than my own life and complaints.  Who wants to read about my bitching all the time anyway?  Maybe I'll post it later.  We all need a change from the current news and our busy lives don't ya think?  Until next time....elizinashe

Keep It in the Shade! 

Call Me Ms. Cranky Pants

Baby It's Hot Outside! 

Ooo..it's hot.  Granted it is July after all, but man...it's just a bit too hot for me.  And I hate it.  It makes me cranky and irritable.  Especially when I'm running around town trying to tackle all those adult things.  Ugh...when will that end?  Plus, we are smack in the middle of our "busy season" so there are idiots all over the damn road not paying any attention to where they are going or other drivers.  They just go...and then cut in front of you, take up two parking spaces, change lanes suddenly and all that jazz.  Yo, jackass!  It's called a blinker!

Ugh...I really struggle in the summer months cooking and meal planning wise.  It's too hot to cook and my appetite diminishes and nothing sounds appealing.  And then I wait too long to eat, get really, really hungry and then I go out and eat junk.  And as a result, I feel like crap afterwards.  It's a vicious cycle I tell ya.  Where is that pool boy?  Why can't someone else make me dinner and plan my meals?  I don't see how people who live in Florida or hell..Arizona for that matter put up with such hot weather all the damn time.  Especially Arizona.  I don't care if they say it's a "dry heat".  A 110+ degrees is 110+ degrees!  That's too damn hot for me folks!  Bleh!

Needless to say...the evenings bring us summer storms and a slight respite from the day's heat.  Tomorrow is a new day and hopefully I will knock out the rest of my "to do" list as I just couldn't get it all done today like I wanted.  Can I whine some more?  haha...One bonus...I  made a quick trip to the store after dinner for ice cream.  Yep..sure did.  And it was damn good.  This weekend is going to be a doozy.  Our temperatures will be the hottest that we've had so far this season.  I just hope it's a quick one and then we're done with it.  I don't want the rest of our summer to be so stupid hot.  Otherwise, there will be one cranky bitch complaining until no end.  😉  Until next time...

I Need to Be Here! 

So Far, So Good

Mmmmm....Hot Chocolate.

Every January I make a "wish/goal list".  Not a Resolution list, but stuff I want and hope to accomplish in the coming year.  I keep that list out as a shout out to the Universe, as I believe if you "put it out there" those things will come to you.  But I also believe that you have to work towards it as well.  Good things don't always come easily. 

As I sit here next to my computer, my list is to my left with all the little things I have written down.  And as I reflect on my list, I'm doing pretty good in crossing out my wishes.  Granted, I know I won't ever achieve every single thing, but if I get even half of it done, I'd say it's been a pretty good year. 

I've been to three musical events thus far, and one on the way in September.  There are a lot of shows this summer and I wanted to go to each and every one, but that is just not doable.  Maybe next time...I have spent more time with friends doing fun things and taking pictures.  I'm one step closer to going completely wireless television wise and I've had people over for dinner in my new home.  And "tickling the ivories" as they say is habit I'm trying to do more often, especially before I leave for work as it puts me in an easy frame of mind. 

Some of the other stuff...well I still need to work on that but I feel like I'm getting closer to those silly things.  But sometimes you just have to stop and be patient for such things.  Plus, finances always come into play so it's a matter of priority.  Still working on the budget thing.  I think that's going to be a life long process.  I need to be comfortable with that. 

All in all...I may not have done as much as others so far, nor have I made a beach trip like so many others but that's on the list too.  And my plan for the beach is to have some fellow travelers with me and share the festivities.  I think January would be a good time.  The crowds are gone and if you pick the right place, the weather is sunny without being miserable and you still may have the opportunity to have your feet blessed by the ocean.  I think it would be a great way to kick off the winter months don't ya think?  I'll keep ya posted on that one.  Until next time....elizinashe. 

Need to Add This to My List

Ups & Downs

Who Wants to Take a Drive?

Life sure is funny sometimes.  I've always felt and said, "what goes around, comes around."  So I've always tried to "take the high road" and be careful of the battles I choose.  Sometimes I don't do so well with that and at times, Life bites me back in the ass.  Other times,  I receive little blessings as needed and usually at the right time. 

Anyway...keeping up with the good deeds thing, I found a small, squished battery in a parking lot the other day.  Now most likely, it would not damage anybody's car or poke a tire, as I had recently experienced with a 2 inch bolt in my back tire, but I picked it up anyway and threw it in the nearest trash can.  Wouldn't want anyone to have the same inconvenience that I had just a week before. 

I also found a personal check lying on the floor in the checkout lane at the grocery store on a separate day.  It didn't belong to the lady ahead of me, or anyone beside us, so I handed it to the cashier so she may keep it safe for the short term and hand it over to the manager.  I hope they found the rightful owner, or at least found the person who wrote the check.  I'd hate to think that some stranger would try and cash another person's $150 check just to steal the cash.  That's just mean. 

Speaking of mean people, I go to another grocery store today to pick up a few items before I return to my working week.  I pulled up into a parking space, so all I had to do was pull straight out.  There was another spot directly behind me with plenty of room.  Are you ready for this?  So after making my purchases, I see as I approach my car, that a big BMW SUV is parked rather close behind me.  And as I get to my car, I look and see that they did  indeed park right up into my car.  Their bumper was totally pushing against my tail, totally blocking my back gate preventing me from being able to open it at all.   Not even on micro millimeter of space.  Man was I pissed.  Jackass...I could tell that there was no damage done, just metal pushing against metal.  But still....there is no doubt in my mind that this driver knew that he/she was up in my space.  What kills me is that this BMW had all the fancy bells and whistles like all the newer cars do.  Back up cameras, front end camera sensor, the hands free mumbo jumbo and so on.  You get the picture.  So question is...why in the hell did this person not even bother to back their car up or even stop when they were getting too close?  Fucker...are they that stupid?  Not even a note on my car saying "oops!" Just parked right up in my grill.  What a moron.  I took some pics and got their tag number.  Being that there wasn't any kind of damage, I didn't bother calling the police or my insurance company.  That might of been a bad decision, but the police most likely would not have done much and my insurance company most likely would have increased my rates even though is was not my fault.  So I took the high road on that one.  I'm pretty sure that this driver will have their own "what goes around, comes around" experience.  I just hope that Karma is nice about it.

Okay...so that was a lot.  I stewed about that event long enough.  It's time to put it to rest and let the Universe do it's thing.  I've got other worries that are more important.  In the meantime, always do your best and watch out for the wack-a-doos.  Hopefully Karma will be kind to you.  Until next time...elizinashe.

Throw Me Some Shooting Stars! 

Digging in the Past

My Uncle David, Aunt Gwen and my Mother

I'm still slowly going through a bunch of stuff that my dad brought out from the house I grew up in.  Most of it is stuff that belonged to my mom, which includes a lot of her family pictures, piles and piles of letters that my grandparents wrote to each other, letters that my mother wrote to them and a box of stuff of my brother's including his senior yearbook.

I looked at his yearbook that first night after dad went to bed.  Man...that was a bit hard.  Shed quite a few tears over that one.  There was another pile of letters that some of his friends wrote when they met in Governor's School which is a special summer program between your Junior and Senior year of high school for the super smart and the gifted and talented kids.  You had to be nominated for that gig by your teachers so that's a pretty big deal.  I read some of those letters when dad left.  Boy did they crack me up.  My brother was blessed with really good friends and they all had a fun sense of humor.  One of the guys I am friends with on Facebook as he & I oddly reconnected many, many moons ago while I was bartending back home and years later "friended" each other to keep in touch.  I quickly sent him some pics of the said letters as I know he would like to see that memory too.  He enjoyed that blast from the past as much as I did. 

Silly Letters for my Brother

As for the other family letters, there are tons!  Dating back from the 1940s and onward.  People wrote long letters back in the day, as there was no such thing as computers, email, texting and the whole social media gig.  I do cherish these letters as it gives me an insight to my grandparents world before I knew them.  Oh the struggles they had...but so much love too.  Good hard working and honest people.  I miss the Hell of of them.  I wish I could go back in time and once again sit in their backyard eating veggies from their garden with ham and biscuits made from scratch.  It couldn't get any better than that.  I have lots of reading to conquer and wonderful memories to cherish.  You just can't put a price on that now can you?  Until next time...elizinashe

What a Piece of History!