Thursday, May 28, 2015

The Joys of Being Pet Owner

I Just Look Mean...
My cat Hecubus has not been himself lately.  I've taken him to the vet, to which lab results really didn't indicate much but a bit of anemia which could be related to his age.  So goes an iron  supplement....

But..the last couple of days he's still not quite himself.  And he's moving in a way that makes me think he had something spinal or a joint issue going on.  So back to the vet we went tonight.  So far all looks well.  At least, X-ray wise.  Can't really see anything ligament wise, which is another concern for me.   And if that is the issue, then how in the hell did he injure, or tear a ligament?  Geeze....

I will spare you of the details but it's just frustrating to see your cat anxious and not up to par.  He doesn't seem to be in any pain but he's hesitant and sits around like he's waiting for something.  Weird.  And sad.  He's thinking about something but what that something is I have no idea.  I just wish he'd get back on the mend.  He still has some life in him I know.  He's that stubborn.  And I know he's not suffering.  I wouldn't be that cruel, plus I've been there, done that with my other cat that I had to 'put down' a few years back.  I just wish I could get a real answer.  

I love having a cat.  And I love my cat.  It sucks that I can't read his mind so I can figure out what the hell is going on with him.  Poor thing.  He still has a good appetite, drinks plenty of water and continues to sit on top of me.  All normal behavior for him.  And that's a good thing.  Wonder if cat's get dementia?  Wonder if the pain meds have him hallucinating.  Who knows...I just hope that God will lay his healing hands on my kitty just for a little bit longer.  And my God help me when 'that time' does won't be pretty.  Sayin' my prayers ya'll.  elizinashe

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Up in the Wee Hours...

This is Awesomely Weird
It's a quiet, rainy night.  Or shall I say morning?  It is after midnight after all...

One thing about being up at this hour, at home, is that it can be rather peaceful.  The rest of my neighborhood is fast asleep, all the lights are off and I get to enjoy the serenity of a quiet spring rain falling upon us in the dark.   It's a small moment that's all my own.  I kinda like that.  

I really don't mind working nights, as I have said before.  But yes, it does mess with my day stuff.  Or at least I think so.  I guess what I struggle with is that I feel like I should have a quick 'turn around' and crawl out of bed before the morning truly ends and be productive like everyone else.  You know, got to the gym, run three miles, go to the store, clean the house, get the car services and all that jazz.  When it reality, not everyone is able to do that sort of thing all in one day regardless of when you wake up and begin your day.  What I need to remind myself is that I'm doing just fine with the schedule I have and I typically get things done, at least the important things get done, and all before it gets dark.  So I guess that's what's really important, right?  I kinda like staying up late in my off time.  It's a kind of 'down time' that's all my own and a way to not stress myself out over the little things.  Although that kind of stress will always be there...I guess what I'm really saying is that working nights, and staying up late at night because of that in my off time, has forced me to relent to the things I can never change and just 'let go' of trying to be perfect or 'get it all done'.  Which has always been a challenge for me.  I'm sure someone out there knows exactly what I mean.  Or at least I hope so. I sit, pecking away on my pute..writing to whomever reads my shit.  I'm just glad I have this thing called a blog.  It's given me wonderful opportunities to vent, celebrate, grieve and create.  I wish more people would blog.  I find it very therapeutic and at times, inspiring.  My original plan was to write more creatively but it turned out to be more 'journal like' which is perfectly okay.  But...I do plan on writing more creatively.  As I have many ridiculous thoughts that run amok in my head.  And that's a good thing.  Peace out ya'll.  elizinashe

Saturday, May 23, 2015

Slumbering Thoughts

I think this is so cool...
Tired bodies, wandering minds, restless souls.  Quiet is the heart as it beats it's rhythm, sometimes in pain, sometimes in joy.  It's a hard journey, but there is always light at the end of the tunnel.  And there will be peace when you reach the other side.  As long as you keep moving forward.  

Just a few wandering thoughts as this past week has had many ups & downs.  Life certainly has its moments.  Otherwise, it wouldn't be called life.  It's the struggles that are the hardest to tackle, even when those struggles aren't your own.  Do you ever feel someone else's 'energy'?  Do you feel their joy?  Do you know when they are in pain?  And how do you fix that?  The pain I mean...and I'm not just talking about physical pain, but that other kind of pain that's just not ...scientific...?? How do you move through that?  

Life is short and precious.  And we tend to forget that.  Even myself.  But, that's just normal right?  Don't forget the little things.  Even if it's bubble wrap so you can pop the hell out of it.  Even if it's just a few minutes out of your day with a good friend when you haven't seen each other in a long time.  Because when it's real, it doesn't seem that long and that time, no matter how long, means the world to all parties involved.  

Random stuff, I know...all is good.  And I'm glad to be a part of the small things in life that make it good.  By the way....I really dig the pic above.  I think it's really cool.  Hope you like it too.  elizinashe

Monday, May 11, 2015

No Rhyme or Reason

Ever Felt Like This?
" My head won't leave my head alone/ And I don't believe it will/ Until I'm dead and gone"

I've been feeling a bit grouchy lately.  In fact, maybe a lot grouchy.  No real reason or trigger, just some nasty thoughts and old feelings rearing their ugly head.  And it's been driving me nuts.  The thing that gets me the most is that I've allowed these old feelings of anger and resentment occupy my head.  The key word is allow.  And I hate that.  Today I feel like those ugly little monsters have finally left and have been lifted away.  

Maybe it was the weather that made me so irritable before the storm came and went.  Maybe it's too much work stuff and not enough fun stuff.  Maybe it's the rediscoveries of old momento's and family pics of happier times before everything changed.  Who knows.  Maybe my head just needed to go to that dark place for a visit.  I'm glad those ugly thoughts left my brain.  But...those thoughts and  days of self-torture always return.  Hopefully I will find a better way to get it out of my head before it drives me nuts all over again.  

Don't let the lyrics above cause you any worry.  It's one of my favorite DMB songs from long ago.  And when I heard those words, it gave me a peace of mind in a strange and relieving sort of way.   I've always loved their  music, and I can really identify with some of the  words that they write.  Good or bad, Dave writes some pretty good shit and I dig that. 

And so to end this little frustration,  I will tend to some other duties and leave you be.  My mind is clear and it sounds like we've got another little storm brewing outside.  Maybe this next storm will wash away any remaining  nasty thoughts and feelings.  I'm ready for a fresh start.  elizinashe

" What I want is what I've not got/ And what I need is all around me".