Rainy Day

It's a rainy day Monday. Not that's a bad thing, sometimes it's exactly what is needed to soothe the soul. This past week has been hectic but in a good way. Can't complain. My obsession with spring pictures continues as you can see. I got lucky with this photo that you see here. I won't tell you my secret but I'm just so happy that it all worked out the way that I wanted. All this picture taking has spawned some more creative ideas, one being a really cool photo collage that I made for my dad for Father's Day. I almost want to keep it for myself so I can look at it all the time but I know my dad would really dig it and it would mean so much to him since we are so far apart these days. I think I had the most fun tweaking my little project. It does look pretty damn cool though. I think I've created a new monster within myself. I'm gonna end up spending all my money on pics and frames. Maybe I should turn my little abode into a studio. Haha...stranger things have happened.
elizinashe

Spring

Spring is just full of surprises to say the least. I've been playing around with my camera a lot more lately which has been pretty cool. Trying to spread my wings out on the creative side. I guess spring has sprung in my head and all that winter clutter is blooming out.

Yet again I did not make the cut for the nursing program for this coming fall however I did make some progress. I am #56 on the wait list for the LPN program which was my 2nd choice. Last year I didn't make any kind of wait list. But things happen for a reason, or so they say. I hope this fall will be better than last year.

I had an old boyfriend find me on facebook a couple of weeks ago. I pretty much ignored the request but I guess he really wanted to 'reconnect' so he sent me a message a few days later. Shocker! So I relented and sent him a message back. It's still kind of weird though. He even went as far as going for a live chat when I was up late one night. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw it was him in my chat box. Crazy man. I guess he still thinks well of me after all these years. And speaking of ex's, I've run into 2 other men that I have dated all within this past week. There must be something in the air. I wonder how many other boyfriends will pop out of the woodwork. Sheesh!

The time with my mom and our family friend went very well. It was really good to see Betty. She looks great and is still full of energy and carries a positive attitude. She's still a vivacious lady and loves being a grandmother. It was a good time with very few tears. We all visited again on Mother's Day up at my mom's house. I got some pretty cool pictures of my mother's Rhododenron's including a spider that I found camped out in one of the blooms. Cool, huh?

In the meantime, I've been snapping away with my trusty little camera and loading the pictures up on the pute. I bought some Dahlia's and Petunia's the other day and put them out on this concrete landing I have that leads to the front door. I had fun creating a photo theme with those shots. Gotta love having a digital camera. If you take a crappy shot you can delete it! How cool is that? I almost had the money shot of a ladybug on the leafy part of my Dahlia, but the critter moved too quickly and the one shot that I did get was way too blury. Maybe next time. Well that's about it in a nutshell. More to come later. Happy Spring! elizinashe

More Mind Clutter

This has been a busy week for me so far. Work has kept me really busy and the household stuff never ends. I could have worked for a few hours today but I'm just too burnt right now to pick up extra money. I've got two more shifts to work before this week ends and then I'm free for a couple more days before the cycle starts all over again. Ugh! Can't wait for vacation.

However going to work keeps my mind off of other things that creep into my head when I'm at home. There's a minute part of me that says I should have gone into work today. My mother's friend should be coming into town and I have plans to see them both this Friday. This is the family friend I talked about in my previous post. Again, I had weird dreams as I was waking up. And again my mom was involved as well as a sequence where I was in San Francisco sitting next to some water watching a snake swim by and then around my leg. EEK!! Don't know what that one was about. Well, I sort of do when I think about it but I will spare you the analysis. The dream about my mother was rooted in her control and trying to but into my life when I don't want her to make choices for me. Now I know that sounds terribly selfish but this tug & pull of ours goes way back. I guess I still have some residual anger about that. She's backed off quite a bit over the last few years which has been really good for our relationship but I guess some things just don't go away when they are burned into your brain.

Another piece of clutter that has been swimming around is that I have an old boyfriend from way back 'friend' me on facebook. What the hell??? This is the guy that was my live-in back in Arkansas about 13 or 14 years ago. Seriously what the hell?? What does he want? The relationship ended very badly. I kicked his ass out which was the best thing I could have ever done. I have grown into a very different person since then and have moved on since those days so why is he looking me up now? It's not that I feel like he's the one that 'got away' or anything, it just reminds me of how self-centered he was and how much he made me feel like shit and insignificant. I could have been bleeding out my eyes and he would have never cared. I did everything. And I mean everything! I worked my butt off. I was the one who paid the bills, cleaned the house, bought the groceries, did the laundry and even went to work an hour early so he could use my car, go back to school and take up a part-time job, and yet he still found time to cheat on me. Asshole! Seriously, what the fuck does he want? I was really messed up in the head for a while after the relationship ended. I really had a hard time trusting men again and feeling confidant in a relationship. (There's a small part of me that still does but that's rooted in another issue. ) So why after all this time does he want to reconnect? The petty side of me wants to ask for his half of all the bills I paid. (haha) The other part of me just doesn't want to know how his life turned out to be. I can almost guess. I've always wished him well but I just don't want to go back to that place where he made me feel so shitty. I have moved on from those days of long ago and I want to continue in that direction. Seriously, what the hell??? elizinahse