I Gots da Blues

I've been feeling pretty depressed lately. It's been a combination of many things such as work, family, career, unexciting routines finances and probably a little bit of hitting the big 4-0. Laugh all you want. I'm not stressing about turning 40, it's more like I'm not even near where I'd thought I'd be at this age. In fact I'm kind of looking forward to it but there are other personal mile markers that I haven't reached yet and that is what bothers me I guess. But instead of whining about myself I am going to unleash on some other hot topics as of late.

There has been a traffic jam in China that is going on day 11 now, maybe 12 days. Now I have not read the whole story nor do I know how the fiasco started but seriously, how can a traffic jam last that long without a natural disaster being the instigator? Maybe it was a mudslide or something, I don't know. Again, I haven't read the whole story but it sure seems like a doozy of a commute. I think I'd just leave my car off to the side and start walking. And how are the police able to disperse all that traffic? Geeze.....can you imagine a car full of screaming kids stuck in that mess? I would tear my hair out! What a freakin' mess.

The Mosque at Ground Zero. Geeze....do I really want to vent about this? I was pretty outraged when I first heard our President speaking in support of the Mosque being built. I understand that he was in support of freedom of religion and not taking a personal stance on the matter however it did not paint a favorable picture as our leader. Yes, I believe that Muslims have the right to practice their faith in our country as well as other members of varying religions. However, having a Mosque being built so close to where so many of our peoples of all races, creed, religions and faith were needlessly attacked strikes a nerve with me. I think having a Mosque built near Ground Zero is in poor taste. It is my understanding that Muslims in general and Islam does not support nor encourage violence but it still stings knowing that an extremist Muslim group was what made 9/11 a date in history forever branded in our brain. My question is, what if it were an extremist Jewish or even a radical Baptist group that attacked our nation and here years later someone wants to build a Synagogue or a Baptist Church at the same sight. Would we feel just as opposed to the new building or would we be more supportive of 'religious freedom'? Just a thought.

And my favorite, the Duggars. You know, that family up in Arkansas that have 19 children and are open to having more. Are you kidding me?? Seriously! The woman had an emergency C-section due to pre-eclampsia and had the baby #19 three months premature. That baby not so surprisingly had many complications and even though baby is at home now she is still hooked up to monitors and oxygen off & on during the day. What are these people thinking? The mother, Michelle, has been quoted saying that 'children are a gift from God'. Um, honey I'd hate to tell you but God does not impregnate you! You got yourself knocked up! Yes, children are a gift but you had sex and boom! You be preggars. I just can't believe that this couple really wants to have another child. Seriously, this woman's insides are going to fall out and she will be wearing diapers along with her newborn and toddlers. That is if she survives another pregnancy. I find the whole thing disgusting. I say check the woman into a psych ward and let her hormones balance out because clearly being pregnant for the last 20 some odd years has altered her logical mind. It's just gross and that's all I have to say about that.

So there you go my readers. That's all I care to gripe about. Until next time. elizinashe

Bathrooms

One of my facebook friends made a comment about how Issac Hayes & David Porter where collaborating on a song where the hook "Hold on I'm Coming" was yelled out from the bathroom when one had called for the other and that was the reply as he was finishing his business. I guess it goes to show you never really know how a song is truly written. However all of my 'great ideas' come from the bathroom. Not that I spend a lot of time contemplating life when I'm ' in the john' but the strangest ideas, creative tasks and problems solved come from the most monotonous habits such as brushing my teeth or washing my face. I guess it's all a part of the distraction which allows greater things to come to the mind. Funny to have epiphanies in the most private place in your home.

If you are a pet owner you know what kind of wonderment the bathroom is for your pet, especially if you just walked in it. My former cat Gavin would follow me every time I went to pee. And I followed up with kicking him out and shutting the door as he let out a tiny 'ew' in his cat language & feeling offended. He never got the notion that I wanted to be alone. Why he had to follow me to watch is beyond me. Maybe he wanted to make sure that I was covering my human cat box. My other cat used to watch me take bubble baths. He would sit on the edge and perch while the end of his tail got wet. All I wanted was some quiet time and to chill but he had to inspect what was going on for a few minutes until he got bored. I no longer take lingering bubble baths but he still likes to inspect the bathroom from time to time and jump into the bathtub to lick the water that drips from the faucet. I wonder what goes through their head when they do things like that and what is it that they conclude?

There was a tv show on last week that I reluctantly watched because I had nothing better to do but the whole show was shot mostly in the main character's 'fancy bathroom'. The character had gotten upset about something and remained in her pjs and sat on her lounging sofa in her bathroom which was complete with a ginormous bathtub littered with candles, flowers, a tv, phone, thick and cozy bathrobes and all the other perks while she sipped on her coffee and wine. There was a scene where she was sitting with her girlfriends, who by the way were encouraging her to leave the fancy bathroom and get back into the real world, sipping more wine and having snacks. It was very Seinfeldish. However it goes to show you how luxurious and safe a bathroom can make you feel.

Growing up I knew many mother's who had a house rule that if they were in the bathroom that they were not to be disturbed. It was hallowed ground for a weary stay at home mom and I don't blame them. It was the only place where they could escape loud children, fighting siblings and husbands. Maybe there was a secret martini bar in there. 'Mother's Little Helper' anyone? So what's my point? Nothing really, just random observations. The bathroom is a place for great escape and great ideas. I'm not a mom but I do wish I had a 'fancy bathroom' so I can invite my girlies over for a party. I'm always in the mood for wine and snacks and share epiphanies. Hmm...I feel the urge to go pee now. elizinashe

Impulses

Are you an impulsive person or do you think out all your decisions? Do you analyze and then think about it some more or do you just go for it? How strong is the Id in you? You know, that inner child's voice that makes you run, that urge of immediate gratification despite the consequences. Or do you listen to that inner parent voice that tells you 'no'. Who wins in your battle of the Id and the Superego?

I know I'm pretty impulsive but mostly it's all withing the normal realm of things. And those moments where it's really over the top I usually recognize it fairly quickly and bring my head out of the clouds. Every now & then I start growing wild hairs and the Id begins to speak and I really start to listen despite the results. My Id is mostly harmless and I weather the waters fairly well whether in outcome is good or bad. However my Id as of lately has been rearing it's illogical head. I have an itch to scratch and I may just scratch it to see where it bleeds.

Now I know it sounds like I'm talking in circles or too many metaphors but I have never claimed to be grammatically correct. (I do believe I made this point in my very first blog entry.) The point I'm trying to make is I'm dying for a change. I'm feeling quite restless & bored with my life. I'm not depressed or anything, maybe a little but I'm just about fed up with the same old shit every day. I am truly grateful for what I have and where I live. I love my job and I love, love, love my co-workers. But something has got to change. I'm heading towards a big burnout and I know if I don't shake things up I'm going to be feeling stuck and miserable. I've been in that dark place before and it wasn't pretty. I don't want to end up there again. There's a part of me that says it's other influences & desires around me and the other part of me says this is what's your supposed to do now. There's a part of me that says you're trying to run away from responsibilities and family strife and there's a part of me that says you're done here, time to move on and start over. The fact of the matter is that I'm bored, frustrated & restless and my Id is starting to speak quite loudly. elizinashe

Zone 5

I love to travel. I wish I had more money so I could travel even more. I love the hustle & bustle of an airport. I love exploring the terminals and walking to find my departing gate discovering the various eateries and shops along the way speckled with an array of books, cards, newspapers, t-shirts and other over prices souvenirs.

It always reminds me of how many people are on our planet. Business men, soldiers, mommies and their babies, families in shorts & flip flops, happy couples, grandparents, career women, overweight football fans, young 20 somethings, and foreign peoples making their way in a strange land deciphering the English language. So much to absorb for a curious mind.

The only part I do hate is having to wait to board my plane. I'm not a very patient person when it comes to waiting in line. Of course the elderly and handicapped are allowed first which I have no problem with. And of course first class gets all the perks. (sigh.) However, everything else is done in 'Zones'. According to where your seat is corresponds to your zone. I always end up in Zone 5 which is always the last one to be called to board & seat. So while I watch everyone else be called before me I anxiously await for the magic number. I feel so left out. It's like being the last kid called for the dodgeball team. All the cool people get called first. All the really athletic people get called first. All the really smart people get called first. And then all the rejects get called last. No fair! Wouldn't it make sense to load the back of the plane first and then work your way up to the front? Just makes more sense that way to me. Of course the day that I actually get into Zone 1 will be the day they call Zone 5 to board first. Wouldn't that be a twist of fate? One of these days I will be one of the few spoiled to fly First Class and get all the perks and be one of the lucky ones to board first. Which means I've ended up being one of the 'cool kids'. ;p In the meantime I will have to settle as being the oddball and waddle down to the back of the plane with the rest of the rejects. Perhaps I could start a new trend and declare Zone 5 as the eclectic groovy people zone. Anyone want to join my team? elizinashe