Impulses

Are you an impulsive person or do you think out all your decisions? Do you analyze and then think about it some more or do you just go for it? How strong is the Id in you? You know, that inner child's voice that makes you run, that urge of immediate gratification despite the consequences. Or do you listen to that inner parent voice that tells you 'no'. Who wins in your battle of the Id and the Superego?

I know I'm pretty impulsive but mostly it's all withing the normal realm of things. And those moments where it's really over the top I usually recognize it fairly quickly and bring my head out of the clouds. Every now & then I start growing wild hairs and the Id begins to speak and I really start to listen despite the results. My Id is mostly harmless and I weather the waters fairly well whether in outcome is good or bad. However my Id as of lately has been rearing it's illogical head. I have an itch to scratch and I may just scratch it to see where it bleeds.

Now I know it sounds like I'm talking in circles or too many metaphors but I have never claimed to be grammatically correct. (I do believe I made this point in my very first blog entry.) The point I'm trying to make is I'm dying for a change. I'm feeling quite restless & bored with my life. I'm not depressed or anything, maybe a little but I'm just about fed up with the same old shit every day. I am truly grateful for what I have and where I live. I love my job and I love, love, love my co-workers. But something has got to change. I'm heading towards a big burnout and I know if I don't shake things up I'm going to be feeling stuck and miserable. I've been in that dark place before and it wasn't pretty. I don't want to end up there again. There's a part of me that says it's other influences & desires around me and the other part of me says this is what's your supposed to do now. There's a part of me that says you're trying to run away from responsibilities and family strife and there's a part of me that says you're done here, time to move on and start over. The fact of the matter is that I'm bored, frustrated & restless and my Id is starting to speak quite loudly. elizinashe