Recognition, Procrastination, Debating & Frustration

So a local staff member from a local entertainment newspaper made a comment on my previous blog post. Don't know how he found it but he read my stuff nevertheless. Wow! I was quite surprised not to mention a little impressed. Apparently he has created another blog page for other local bloggers and artists to have a home for more exposure and self-advertising and he wanted to know if I wanted to be a part of this. Huh? My little blog? Really? Not quite sure what to make of this. I certainly don't have anything to promote or sell. Just some random writing here and there. I have yet to give a clear 'okay'. I've been so wrapped up with school stuff that my brain just can't comprehend all the particulars. One of the requirements is to post at least once a week. That may be tough given my schedule at this time. However, instead of looking over homework at this moment I'm blogging. Guess if I really wanted to write more often I'd sacrifice the time.

And on the homework note I am totally ignoring my Micro this evening. I just don't think my brain can tolerate the material. It can get pretty detailed and I just don't feel up to it. My body is tired and my legs ache. I've been up since 5am and spent half my day at my clinical site. Came home to rest a bit, went to the grocery store and spent about 3 hours doing nursing stuff on-line and sent an email to a friend. I think the hours put into my nursing stuff should qualify for enough time spent school wise. Everything else can go on the back burner for tonight. Ah......I see a small couch for the evening and a nice glass of wine.

Speaking of school, the next leg of our nursing classes for the spring is gearing up which means totally new clinical sites from March until May. Some of those days clash with my Micro lab day. I should have my clinical days on Saturdays & Mondays as they have been but being that the state requires an 'X' amount of clinical time per semester I have some added days which fall on Tuesdays aka Micro Lab day. Ugh! I'm already juggling so much and our micro teacher posts stuff late so it's hard to keep up with that class. I can't miss much class time without totally failing. We have an orientation day that is required for nursing which of course, falls on a Tuesday. WTF?? I want to stay in compliance with my nursing program but having another class that clashes just plain sucks. I'm not sure that my micro teacher will allow me to make up class time in the evening due to my nursing schedule. But I guess it wouldn't hurt to ask. Otherwise, the other plan is to drop the micro and try to retake it in the summer when things will hopefully be much calmer. Therefore, I can manage the nursing thing somewhat better and just may have a more positive outcome in taking the micro later. Just a hopeful thought.

And to top it all off, I am still plagued with vehicle dilemmas. The mechanic brought up the word 'trade' along with the words repair. Oh geeze.....I know my car is 12 years old but it's a Nissan. Those things last forever and mine is paid off! I totally cannot afford a car payment nor do I have enough money in the bank to pay for some cheap ass set of wheels just to get me around. I love having a 4 wheel drive because it certainly has saved my ass a few times when the weather has been slippery. I am certain that we will get a good snow before the season is over. We are overdue this winter. I'd rather have my car repaired but the trick is having transportation while it's being repaired. It will probably be a good 2 day job, (cha-ching) and being that I have to be somewhere everyday, I need wheels. So the challenge is to find a buddy who is blessed to have a 2nd vehicle and beg to borrow the said 2nd vehicle. It is times like these when it really does suck to be single. I have yet to be blessed with a boyfriend, live-in or husband who could help me with these matters. It's just one more thing to add to the anxiety. Lucky me. At least there is always a glass of wine to be had. Maybe I should be a part of the community blog afterall....perhaps one of my fellow bloggers-slash-artists would take pity on me and loan me a set of wheels next time I encounter such a conundrum. Stranger things have happened that's for sure. I think it's time to pile up on the couch and think about it for a while. Or not think. That sounds more pleasing to my overworked brain. Until next time.... elizinashe

I'm Still Here

Despite a constant state of anxiety and dark circles, I am still in existence. I have succumbed to the fact that I will never catch up in the fashion that I want and that I will always be too tired to push myself to stay up late to really pound into the books and power points. What a sucky way to teach by the way....

I didn't do so well on my first Micro test even though it was on-line. I just couldn't keep my notes straight nor have I dedicated loads of time to really study this extra class because I've been so focused on my nursing crapola and all the other extra projects that they have dished out and getting my service learning requirements out of the way. Oh yeah, don't forget to throw in my working hours in all this mess.

I go to bed with notes and ideas in my head as well as hormones and lab values that I should have memorized while my cat tries to smother me in efforts to keep himself warm. I dread hearing the alarm in the wee hours of the morning and starting my day. But I am relieved to see fellow study mates before class, bleary eyed like me and griping about the seemingly lack of congruence in our courses and communication between our instructors and our designated group project people with whom we have to work with for specific projects to turn in for class as a part of our curriculum. I am relieved to go to work knowing that it's an environment that I know and that I have great familiarity which strangely eases my stress being that it's usually a high stress environment. Funny how that works.....

The next two weeks will certainly be balls to the wall for me. Not rest for the weary. At all. Period. I will not have a free day until the 24th. I just want to get through the weekend. That's all I can really focus on right now. I'm still behind with school but I feel like I'm one step ahead with making some flash cards to tuck away in my bag for work in the am. Hopefully, I will have a slight chance to gloss over them during my working hours and hope that it will sink into my head by the means of osmosis. I am hoping that my Saturday clinical will give me the opportunity to have some time to fill out a stupid drug chart so I won't have to do it at home. I've got a power point to finish by next week not to mention Microbiology. Sheesh! I think my brain is officially at capacity even though I know there is much, much more to do. Wish me luck my fellow readers! I can certainly use the good karma and the motivational vibes to push me through! In the meantime, relish the fact that you aren't going through this mess right now! There is light at the end of the tunnel. I just wish the tunnel were a bit shorter right now.

Cheers! elizinashe