I'm Still Here

Despite a constant state of anxiety and dark circles, I am still in existence. I have succumbed to the fact that I will never catch up in the fashion that I want and that I will always be too tired to push myself to stay up late to really pound into the books and power points. What a sucky way to teach by the way....

I didn't do so well on my first Micro test even though it was on-line. I just couldn't keep my notes straight nor have I dedicated loads of time to really study this extra class because I've been so focused on my nursing crapola and all the other extra projects that they have dished out and getting my service learning requirements out of the way. Oh yeah, don't forget to throw in my working hours in all this mess.

I go to bed with notes and ideas in my head as well as hormones and lab values that I should have memorized while my cat tries to smother me in efforts to keep himself warm. I dread hearing the alarm in the wee hours of the morning and starting my day. But I am relieved to see fellow study mates before class, bleary eyed like me and griping about the seemingly lack of congruence in our courses and communication between our instructors and our designated group project people with whom we have to work with for specific projects to turn in for class as a part of our curriculum. I am relieved to go to work knowing that it's an environment that I know and that I have great familiarity which strangely eases my stress being that it's usually a high stress environment. Funny how that works.....

The next two weeks will certainly be balls to the wall for me. Not rest for the weary. At all. Period. I will not have a free day until the 24th. I just want to get through the weekend. That's all I can really focus on right now. I'm still behind with school but I feel like I'm one step ahead with making some flash cards to tuck away in my bag for work in the am. Hopefully, I will have a slight chance to gloss over them during my working hours and hope that it will sink into my head by the means of osmosis. I am hoping that my Saturday clinical will give me the opportunity to have some time to fill out a stupid drug chart so I won't have to do it at home. I've got a power point to finish by next week not to mention Microbiology. Sheesh! I think my brain is officially at capacity even though I know there is much, much more to do. Wish me luck my fellow readers! I can certainly use the good karma and the motivational vibes to push me through! In the meantime, relish the fact that you aren't going through this mess right now! There is light at the end of the tunnel. I just wish the tunnel were a bit shorter right now.

Cheers! elizinashe