No One is Immune

Give Them Support

We've all heard about the Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain suicides.  We've all heard about other well known people from recent times and in the glory days taking their own life or dying because of an accident related to unhealthy lifestyle choices.  And I'm not just talking about food and lack of exercise folks.  I'm talking about addiction. 

I've recently learned that a guy I knew a long time ago passed away about three years ago at home.  Now the circumstances that we knew each other were quite unusual and we were never really close but he left a wonderful impression on me and I have happy memories of our times together.  He moved back home a long time ago, but I've always wondered how he was and what his life had become. 

I was very sad to learn that after years of sobriety, he had relapsed on alcohol and died as a result.  My nursing skills can only give me a couple of outcomes but regardless it couldn't have been a peaceful death.  I'm very bothered by this information but I glad I know.  Sort of.  Jason was a really good person and had a big heart.  I knew he could do some drinking, but that was back in the day when we were all young, free and in our twenties.  The kind of behavior that would not be so shocking for the time.  Although, I had some suspicions back then that he could drink more than most and that is never a good thing. 

I'm pretty bummed about this.  Seriously.  Addiction knows no boundaries.  You don't have to be pond scum to become an addict.  It's not all what you see on T.V. or those horrible commercials that used to play showing some bum holding a paper bag sleeping in the alley.  Addiction is real.  That's all there is to it. 

I've had other friends and family who struggle with their own issues.  Some have gotten help, others not so much.  It's a horrible cycle.  And I see it all the time.  Especially working in the kind of environment that I do.  Addiction is real.  And so are people. 

What needs to be understood is that showing those scare tactic signs/commercials don't work.  Forcing someone into rehab doesn't always work.  Interventions?  I think all that does is piss the addict off but my hope is that it will shed light on the one who is suffering that there are people who care about them.  You need to build trust.  Trust is a huge thing.  

Addicts will remain addicts, whether it be food, drink, pills, needles or even cigarettes until they are ready to confront their demons and get clean.  Otherwise they are living on borrowed time.  There are communities that support clean needle exchanges and safe havens for use.  As crazy as it seems, I support that.  I'm not endorsing use, but I will endorse safe practice.  I support the halfway houses and safe havens for pregnant mothers who are on a detox protocol from meth, opiates and alcohol so they can have medical care and be surrounded by other pregnant mothers who are in the same boat.  Otherwise, they will continue to be on the streets and abuse their poison of choice which does nothing but put their unborn baby in serious danger.  Yes, methadone and suboxxone, a typical pharmacutical plan for detox, can have effects on the baby as well but it is less damaging for the baby than the street drugs and with close monitoring the outcome can be way more beneficial than the alternative. 

It's the lesser of evils folks.  I think that's the more important thing to focus on than to shame and condemn the addict.  You have no idea what their daily struggle may be.  You have no idea what's inside of their head.  You have no idea of their demons.  We as a community, as a society need to recognize that addicts have a voice and all they want is to be heard.  We as a community need to understand that addicts need our support in their struggle.  Not encouragement to continue to use  but support in understanding that it's a very difficult fight everyday.  It's not an easy path to walk.  And when recovery does become a choice then the healing for all can begin.  And if they falter, then the understanding that we all are human and the addiction is a beast of it's own needs to be recognized.  It does nothing to help when you begin to criticize.  All that does is break trust.  And having a good trusting relationship is everything to an addict.  If there isn't any kind of trust, with any relationship, addict or not, then nothing will heal or move forward. 

Now I totally understand when friends and family have exhausted everything to the nth degree.  I understand at some point, sometimes you just have to walk away.  There are times for that and I don't blame anyone who does.  Friends and family who are affected by an addict have their own struggles too.  I get that.  They too need to be heard and supported.  Sometimes you just have to walk away.  And that is a very hard thing to do.  No doubt about that.  Addiction affects everyone.  

I am not a perfect person folks.  I do not have all the answers.  But what I do know is that addiction really does affect many, many people regardless of the relationship.  I am so very sad to hear about my friend.  And apparently he was in town a year prior to his death.  I wish I had run into him.  It would have been good to reminisce about our younger days.  It sure does suck.  RIP Jason...you are missed.    Until next time...elizinashe

Truth