Struggling

They say adversity makes one stronger.  You hear 'if God brings you to it, he will see you through it.'  Somebody always has it worse.  This too shall pass.  And for the most part, I do believe in that.  I am naively hopeless in the belief that all will turn out the way it is meant to be. 

However, lately I say 'What the fuck?'  My post-school on the search for a new career after busting my ass the last few years and most importantly, the last two is squashing any faith I have in all things good.  I am tired of getting the 'run around' and being rejected.  I'm tired of not even being recognized for my efforts or longevity within the very institution where I work.  I am tired of not making any progress despite my efforts.  It all gets pretty old after a while and it's beginning to mess with my head.  And I mean, really mess with my head.  I feel like I'm on a downward spiral and it's hard to stay afloat.  The last thing I want to do is completely crash, but I feel like if I don't have one glimmer of this forward movement in my life, that I have worked so hard for, that I will eventually crash and burn.  This is not a good feeling, nor is it healthy.  And being able to recognize that is even more frustrating.  Not to mention frightening.  I'm fighting with all my might but it's seemingly getting harder, and harder.  Aren't I just a bowl of sunshine?  I hope and pray that this will all pass very soon before I completely lose it.  Okay, enough cry baby talk.  Time to start this day over.  Thanks for reading.  elizinashe