Friends & Diversity

How's Your Resume? 

How diverse is your circle of friends?  What kind of friends did you have growing up?  What was your neighborhood like?  What about your hometown?  What kind of restaurants did you have?  Was there racial division in your city?

I know a lot of people.  I have quite a few friends.  And I have a few very close friends.  I will admit, most of them are white but that's not on purpose.  I do have friends from different backgrounds, ethnicity, religious beliefs, sexual orientation and all that jazz.  And I am richer because of it.  I love them all.

When I was in grade school, I had a Korean friend.  Her name was China.  Not China as in the country, but "Chee-na".  She came to our school in the second grade.  I think she was the only Asian kid in our class.  She was the oldest of three siblings, her dad was an electrician and her mom spoke very little English.  We quickly became friends.  I couldn't even tell you if she was of North Korean decent or South Korean.  I really didn't understand that part at my age.  I don't think race was ever an issue either.  We really didn't talk about it.  We were kids.  What did we know at that age?

Fast forward to the fifth grade.  China & I were still friends.  I remember her as being pretty smart but quiet compared to the other kids.  Some of the more popular girls were already beginning to form their cliques.  I remember being called over by the more popular girls at recess and they were wanting to start a "secret girls club" or something like that and wanted me to join.  However, China couldn't be a part of it.  They didn't like her for whatever reason.  I said "no".  If my friend couldn't join, then I didn't want to be a part of the group.  I was ostracized from then on in any popular circle.  Oh well...

China moved away later on that year when her father got a better job in California.  We wrote letters back and forth for a while, but that faded away when we entered Junior High.  I think our lives just got busy with all that preteen stuff and the great distance from where we lived.  I still think about her from time to time.  I wonder how her life has been.  I wonder if she is still in California after all these years.  I wonder if she thinks of me or remembers our friendship way back in the day.  I hope life has treated her well.

When I was in High School, I had an Indian friend.  Not American Indian but East Indian.  Her name was Varsha.  I really didn't understand much about the Indian culture at all.  Actually, I was pretty clueless about it, but then again Varsha really didn't talk about it much nor did she wear the traditional Indian saree dress.  She wore normal American teenager clothes and wanted normal American teenager things.  I was one of three white girls that her parents allowed to come over or pick her up for a night out.  I remember having a really hard time understanding her mother because of her accent was so thick when she spoke English.  I felt so stupid sometimes and I hope I didn't come across as being rude.

Shortly after High School or maybe it was a year later, Varsha's father found her a "suitor" and she had an arranged marriage.  She was barely 19 years old.  She never had a real boyfriend nor did she really date anyone in our school.  It was not allowed.  My friend was devastated and terrified.  Again, I was one of three white girls allowed at her wedding.  It was very traditional and fascinating.  I didn't understand the traditions, the language or anything about it.  This was way back before computers, Wikipedia and internet research where I could have done some research.   All I could do was just sit there in awe, and watch my friend dressed out in traditional Indian wear be married off. I felt so bad for her.  I don't think I will forget the look on her face.  She was absolutely mortified.

There was a big reception which I did not go-not sure why.  Anxiety maybe...the feeling that I really didn't belong there...feeling uncomfortable myself...as I look back I wish I had stayed a bit longer.  I would have given her a hug, taken in the festivities, tried the food and absorb the experience of a different kind of wedding.  It truly was an amazing and strange experience to my 18 year old self. 

I didn't hear from Varsha much after that.  I think I got a couple of letters and that's about it.  My mother told me that she had stopped by the house about a year later, with hopes that I would be there.  I was not.  She showed my mom a few pictures and cried in her arms.  She was still scared and rather unhappy at that time.  And that was the very last I ever heard from her or about her.

I think of my friend Varsha often.  I have hoped that she has found happiness.  I did find her on Facebook some time ago, and sent her a "friend request" along with a message.  I did not get any kind of reply.  That made me a bit sad.  However, from what pictures I had seen, she looks very happy, very beautiful and has two children.  I guess life has been kind to her.  I still have hope that some day, we will reconnect.

When I think of my "foreign" friends when I was young, race never was an issue.  Yes, I knew they weren't "white" and they had different beliefs, holidays, food and parental rules.  I was never told or taught by my parents about race or diversity and all that other stuff that is such a hot button topic these days.  I didn't care that they were from a different ethnic background and neither did my parents.  They were my friends.  And that was it.  It was that simple.  Shouldn't all friendships be that way?  Until next time...elizinashe

Friends Are Priceless Don't Ya Think?

Lest We Forget

Let's Bring This Back!

In never ceases to amaze me how stupid people can be.  The lack of common sense has always dumbfounded me too.  I will admit, I am not the brightest crayon in the box, as some would say and I have my moments but I know better than to believe every single stupid ass post, meme, cartoon, quote or some random news link that I see, especially all the shit we see on social media.  Jesus...

What really kills me is that most of the people I see posting such shit are my age or older.  People like me who used the Dewy Decimal system to prove our facts and do our research before we even began to put it on paper.  And yet...they are all too quick to post and share a ridiculous, hateful or false sided quip, quote, meme, news story and so on because they believe it to be true, regardless if they even know the person who created it, shared it, authored it and so on. 

I can't place too much blame on the younger generation because they don't know any better.  They've grown up with Wikipedia.  Which even that site can lead to false documentation as some links allow others to post information.  How do you know if it's true?   Not to mention they, the younger generation, have nothing to compare it too, have any experience, proper guidance plus school curriculums have changed priorities.  I wonder if they even use the library anymore.  Or even know what the Dewy Decimal system is/was or how to use it.  My guess is that they use a library database system.  But still...our younger generation has also been bombarded by "reality television" and poorly monitored social media.  Sad...

With all that said, I think we all could benefit from going back in time, if not for a brief amount of time and use that Dewy Decimal system and check our facts before we start posting shit that has a minimal amount of truth in its roots.  I am so sick of it.  And I am sad for those who keep posting such crap as it makes me wonder what kind of heart and mind do these "friends" really have inside of them. Are they really that quick to judge and/or believe it to be real or true?   So fucking stupid.  How did we ever become like this?  Okay, rant over...until next time.  elizinashe

Think Before You Post!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Random Musings

☕ Mmmm...☕

Every once in a while, I think of a friend from long ago.  Typically it's a person who was in my life for a brief period of time, perhaps served a purpose and then that friendship fades away for whatever reason that may be.  Sometimes I will look for that person on Facebook.  Sometimes I find them, sometimes not.

Question is, when I do find that person, do I send them that "friend request"?  Would they even remember me?  Even if it was from 20+ years ago?  What would you do?  Clearly these people made some sort of impact on me and the search is genuine.  Can you really reconnect after years apart? 

So the Superbowl happened.  Did you watch it?  I really had not much interest in the game.  Not even the Halftime Show.  Not even the commercials.  Being that I have been sick, I had some dinner, a nice glass of wine and took a little nap.  When I did check in on the game rather late I found the score to be quite disappointing.  It must have been a crappy game to begin with.  Glad I didn't bother going to any Superbowl parties.  It would have been a waste of comaraderie. 

I often step out on my deck at night to have a smoke.  Yeah...I know....I often look up at the sky to watch the stars and on occasion I will see some shooting stars which always delights my heart.  I sometimes see airplanes flying through the night sky.  My mind then begins to wonder...where is the plane going?  Where did it come from?  What's the destination?  Is the plane full?  What kind of people are on the plane and why are they flying at night?  Ah...I still have the curiosity of a child at times. 

Procrastination.  Are you guilty of such a thing?  What do you procrastinate about?  Is it a flaw?  Or a charm?  Is it a learned behavior or one that you have adopted?  Do you get mad at yourself for procrastinating?  Do others get mad at you for procrastinating?  Do you get mad at others for procrastinating?  What steps do you take to dig yourself out of that procrastination hole?  Or do you continue to wait?  What's your excuse? 

And with all that said, what random musings are running through your head?  Until next time...elizinashe

💕 Peace & Love 💕