Stuff On My Mind

Most of my ideas for posting a blog come to me while I'm driving, at work, at the grocery store or while I'm trying to sleep. All perfectly executed, well planned and grammatically correct. However when it comes time to do the actual typing all hell breaks away and the once well planted blog becomes foggy. So then to avoid much rambling and run-on sentences I leave the motivation to blog in the back of my head. But alas, here I sit pecking away on my pute while listening to some Dave Matthews & Tim Reynolds. For the most part I just wanted to get some basic stuff out of my head that I have wanted to write about at length but I will once again just make a short list with short comments( or at least try to). However I cannot promise correct grammar & sentence structure. ;) .

• Girlfriends: Most of my really close girlfriends live out of town or out of state. I really hate that sometimes. I miss having my girls nite and having that close bond with fellow women whom I trust to open myself up and lean on their shoulder. I have other girlfriends here in town but not like the ones I had before. It reminds me of a quote from the movie "Stand By Me". Great movie about friendship even if it was about boys. But the end quote says a lot. It went something like this: " I never had any friends like I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?" Now I don't miss my girlfriends that I had when I was twelve but I do miss my girlfriends that are now spread apart across the country. I'm just glad that they're still in my circle of peeps even if they are far away.

• Parents: Geeze...so much to say on this one. Divorce is on it's way. It's all so sad. I'm okay with the divorce part of it so far but I ache for my father. He is so terribly hurt and places a lot of blame upon himself. He's in town visiting and will be here for a few days. We had lunch on Sunday and when we got back to my place he just opened up and told me everything. We cried together and hugged each other tightly. It was so hard to see my dad so sad. I have never heard him talk about his feelings and regrets ever in my life. This is not how he had expected to live out his retirement. I know it's very difficult for my mother as well and I can't even begin to talk about how my heart feels right now without crying. All I can do is pray for all of us.

• School: Or shall I say lack of. I should be studying up on some stupid math skills and stupid english so I can retake a stupid placement test to prove to the stupid college that I can read, write and do arithmetic despite my previous college credits which include all of the above and then some, but I have had zero motivation to even crack open a book. I have until January to reapply for nursing school and time will run out quickly. The longer I wait the less motivated I become. I'm afraid that I will wait too long and fuck it all up once again and struggle for yet another year until I can apply for the following fall. Maybe I'm just not school material. I don't know what my problem is here. I just hate it. Bleh!

• Exercise: Again, lack there of. I keep telling myself I need to get back into the gym thing but it's slow going. I have been to two gyms for the initial visit and the 'free 2 week' trial but I never went b/c sleeping late on my days off and being lazy seemed more important. However I did go out of town for the first trial period so that was a good excuse not to go. Plus, I was quoted a membership price of over $600 for one year. WHAT?? Yeah, only if it came with a personal chef AND a maid. Give me a break. $600 is not worth sweating to the oldies to me. In the meantime I continue to be lazy, adding insulation to my growing belly. Ugh! I refuse to buy a bigger pant size but the motivation and a decent price package is keeping me at bay in becoming a member to a gym. I continue to tell myself to get back into the groove of sweating it all out so I can feel better about myself and lose some of this weight. I'll find the right place for me soon enough, and then I'll think about it some more. Ah, the lure of procrastination.

So there it is folks. Lots of blah, blah, blah and some crapola. Yes, I've been feeling blue and depressed. Can you blame me? It's just life and I know I will survive. I am truly grateful for what I have and even what I don't have. I have a decent job, good friends and good parents. Sometimes life comes in big waves, good and bad. This wave may feel a little bad but I know there will be a really awesome wave coming soon and I'll be riding that wave for as long as I can. Hopefully the next list will be more joyful. elizinashe

Bittersweet

A lot of my brother's friends are on Facebook these days. I have found a few and have some have found me, thus we have 'friended' each other. One of his buddies just left me message to say 'hello' and had said that he still misses my brother and thinks of him often. Reading that brought some tears to my eyes. I think it's the first time in many, many years that any of his friends has said that to me or even talked about his death. It's been 23 years since he died. That's a long time. It still stings every now and then. I guess you never really get over it.
My brother was super smart, had a great sense of humor and had loads of really good friends. The picture taken at the wake that his friends had between them the night after his funeral says it all. He was so lucky to have all these great people in his life. I just wish he were still here to have all of them around. elizinashe

Previous Fashion Post

So here is one final attempt to post a previous blog that I had done back in February of 2009. This one was too good to delete. Hopefully the picture will come through this time.



How could I not make a comment on this? Again we have a fashion savy concoction from the Brits. Perhaps this was in celebration of our now past ignauguration festivities. Absolutely a piece of beauty. I would certainly pass my phone number to the bold man that would parade around town in this fine dress. It could very well be a case of 'love at first sight'. (insert tone of sarcasm here). Geeze...what the hell? Maybe it's something that's in their tea & crumpets. elizinashe

Favorite Things

Oh here we go once again! Bad fashion is yet again making a splash across the internet pages. I haven't blogged about this in a while. Haven't seen any good material lately. I guess the slow economy has taken its toll on the fashion weary as well. I did find a fabulous picture last year and had a fabulous blog to go along with it however I couldn't get the photo to attach to what I had written. I guess the picture had been encrypted or something. I do remain hopeful that I can get it to work sometime soon. But now, back to the main topic of this post.
Many thoughts come to my mind when I see these shoes. First of all is how could you ever wear these clunkers and be comfortable? Now the toe totally reminds me of my toe shoes when I took ballet which were never comfortable! There were times when my toes bled after the 1 1/2 hour class I took. Ouch! Next is the heel itself. How in the hell can that tiny little stick support the model who is catwalking them around? ( Oh yeah, model don't eat.) Still, it just doesn't look like it's a structurally sound shoe. The moment any normal person who dares to wear these would surely break the heel walking down the street. I know I would! I do however like the sparkles encrusted all over the shoe but I'd be worried about losing the beads. Not to mention spilling food & drink all over them which is a frequent charm of my personality. In other words, many of my shoes already have been blessed by something other than raindrops. I'm guessing it would not be wise to wear these shoes in a snowstorm. Which brings to mind, where in the hell would you wear these hooves anyway? I guess Birkenstocks are no longer an acceptable form of fashionable shoes. If that's the case then I'm screwed. elizinashe

Music Again

I just recently bought U2's The Joshua Tree again. I had it previously on a tape and lost it a long time ago between many moves. I was listening to the radio not too long ago and the song 'One Tree Hill' came across the airwaves and I was motivated to add that song to my never ending list of tunes to have in my collection. I had gone on a Googling adventure and found the original album that it stemmed from. Remembering the album fondly I had to pick up the album again this time on cd. Man is it ever a great record. I had mentioned in my previous post about another song from this album leaving an impression on me but the record as a whole is just phenomenal. Or so I think. So many great songs that was left with little recognition. 'Running to Stand Still', 'Trip Through Your Wires' and the already mentioned 'One Tree Hill'. Although U2 is an indescribable band and have produced many more albums since that time, I don't think they have made an album that has had such a huge impact such as The Joshua Tree. I'm not trying to knock down any of their albums, they have made many,many great albums some of which I own. I think U2 is fantastic & I love their music but listening to this album has a lot of roots to their influence musically. Perhaps it was just the era that this album was released that made it such an impressionable record but for me it has stood the test of time. I think if it had been just released this week it would still be a hit. This is definitely one album that every person should have at home. Correct me if I'm wrong. elizinashe