Monday, January 11, 2010

Frustrations

It's been on helluva winter. We had a pretty good dump of snow on December 18th 2009 and it's been cold ever since. There have been two days since then that the temperature has reached the mid 30s. One day it got up to nearly 40 but that was shortly after our snow. It has been below freezing since Christmas and this past week our nighttime lows have been in the single digits. My heater won't cycle off b/c my house stays chilly. (Thank God for flannel sheets, I say!). I'm really tired of the extreme cold, however I am thankful that I'm not living in North Dakota where they have had wind chills of -52 degrees. Sheesh!
My mother has had a terribly shitty time with her furnace and has been costing her out the ass in bills & repair. She hit yet another bump in the road today and is now looking to replace the failing oil tank and going for an above ground propane tank that shouldn't have any problems like she's been having with her current heating situation. Her money is tight but I know she will manage somehow by some miracle. I hate that my mom has had such a fucked up time with her heat, or lack of, and I wish I had more money to help her out with this dilemma. Hell, I wish I had more money so I could help myself out. Geeze...does it ever end?
I really don't have much hope for getting into the RN program here. My mom is trying to stay positive about it and gives me alot of praise & support but I don't think she truly 'gets' as to how hard it is to be one of the select few to be chosen out of the 300 some odd people that apply every year. I can't do this much longer. Reality is a factor for me and I need to make more money and need to make it soon. I can't survive on my meager paycheck much longer. Which brings a hairbrained idea to my mind but then it involves more money to relocate and start all over. Do I really want to do that? I dunno. Yes if I have some guarantees but no b/c I don't want to leave Asheville. It's such a groovy place and I've been really happy here. Replanting roots is always tough, especially for someone such as myself.
So what needs to happen here? The weather needs to perk up, the bitter cold has got to go. The money fairy needs to pay a visit to my mom so she has heat and I need to get a letter in the mail telling me what the hell to do with my schooling attempts b/c this shit is getting old. elizinashe.

1 comment:

Bernie said...

Don't give up. The sky hasn't quite fallen yet, although I guess having a big umbrella can't hurt. Another thought: sometimes admissions to programs is based on more than just test scores. The decision maker might be lookig for candidates who show enthusiasm and who are ahead of other applicants in areas like maturity and 'big picture' thinking. Just a thought, or two, or three. Because you know I'm always full of, uhhh, thoughts.