It Ain't No Full Moon

Wish I Could Escape Into This Scene..

I'm a bit restless tonight.  The weather has turned a bit cooler this evening with more chilly weather on it's way at night.  Fall is coming...perhaps it's the changing of the weather itself that has made me a bit unsettled.

I had another peep from my past give me a shout Monday night, as I have previously posted.   She was in town just for a couple of days, making a pit stop here before she headed up to the DC area for work.  We hit the town the following night, catching up with drinks and a big pile of sushi.  We ended our night catching some live music at a local jazz club.  Geeze...I haven't done that in years.  Sure did feel good.  I think this makes the 5th person from my previous days that has re-entered into my life.  Wonder what's up with that?

Our country continues to become so violent.  We had a shooting at an elementary school today in a neighboring state.  It appears that the shooter's father is also a victim.  And sadly, that father is dead.  Apparently the shooter is some 14 year old kid.  WTF?  I just don't get it.  Has it always been this way and we are just now more aware of it because of the media?  And there have been multiple shootings by the police all across our country.  Are they getting trigger happy because of all this violence and shoot impulsively out of fear?  When will it all stop?

I'm the surviving child between my parents.  My brother died unexpectedly when he was twenty years old.  And so that left me.  As my parents age, things begin to change.  And you begin to worry more and think about what may come to pass.  The bigger challenge for me is that my dad still lives in Arkansas-nine hundred some odd miles away.  Give or take.  My mother lives in a neighboring county which is about 45 minutes to an hour from me.  Regardless, they are aging and in relatively good health, but I know they really don't tell me everything that goes on in their world, so that they "won't be a burden".  Ugh...It's more of a burden if I am left in the dark vs. keeping me informed.  I just hope I am prepared to make those decisions when they come.  Having a parent close by is a little less stressful.  Having a parent far, far away is troublesome.  And I am in no way have the ways and means to find them cheaper housing closer to me. Nor would it be a good idea to have any one of them move in with me.  I pray that I will be guided to make the right choice and have the courage to remain strong.  Sigh...I am not looking forward to this at all.  Especially by myself.

Anyway..I guess that's just a few things running around in my head.  Normal adult life stuff, eh?  Until next time...elizinashe

Channeling Happy Days Ahead

Troubled Mind

Feeling a Bit Sad...

Last week was horrible. Both work and home wise.   I had picked up an extra shift on Saturday, going into work feeling tired, drained and disheartened.  My previous shifts at work were horrible.  Just horrible.  And all the violence and hatred that has permeated our country makes my heart hurt.  I don't understand it.  How did we get this way?  How did this kind of behavior become acceptable? 

Regardless, my Saturday night was quite peaceful.  It was a welcome change.  If it had been different in that negative way, I don't think I would have survived without a good cry.  And quite possibly a talk with my Supervisor. 

My past two days have been spent in self-recovery.  I needed to hermit a bit, and just do some basics like dishes and laundry.  Exciting stuff, eh?  I have yet to cook and meal plan for the week as I go back for another stretch of days very soon.  My plans are to tackle that the next two days like a madwoman.  But there are hiccups to address. 

One bonus is that a girlfriend of mine is in town for a couple of days and our plan is to get together for dinner tomorrow night.  Her call was a welcomed surprise as we haven't seen each other in about three years.  She typically comes into town on business and then leaves for her next gig.  It will be great to catch up again, share some hugs and drinks.  It will certainly uplift me. 

One the downside, my cat Hecubus is acting not so well.  And that is so very frustrating.  I see another trip to the vet very, very soon.  As long as I can schedule that around my friend and the Terminex guy that is slated to arrive on Wednesday I'll be fine.   Ugh...He's not in any pain and his behavior is pretty norm, but there are indicators that he's got some kidney issues going on.  Jesus....it's becoming way too frequent and becoming costly.  This is when it would be nice to have an extra person in my life to help me along with all the little things.  Just keeping up with house stuff, cat stuff, shopping stuff and all of those adult commitments is making me feel overwhelmed.  I pray that the next two days will go along swimmingly as my brain is already overloaded with worry, anxiety and hope all at the same time. 

In the meantime, I'm trying to keep the faith that all will work out well.  And whatever may come, I pray that I will have the strength to see things through.  I have a lot I want to accomplish before I return to work but my time management skills are not so great.  Especially when I am still up late at nite in my off time.....I just can't help it sometimes.  I hope and pray that our country will be on the fast track to healing and acceptance.  I feel so disgusted when I hear what comes out of our own citizens mouths.  I thinks it's sad that so many minds have been poisoned and brainwashed all because they believe whatever they read, or what someone says.  I hate that so many people have succumbed to fear and inaccuracies.  And they reinforce those beliefs and pass it on to whoever will listen.  I've never seen such hate in mass quantities.  I just don't get it.   I think we all need to take a moment to pray, meditate or just be still to quite the mind.  And maybe then, we can all think more clearly.  Until next time...elizinashe

Healing Thoughts to My Kitty!

Friends & Peeps From the Past

Time Sure Does Fly, eh? 

People come and go throughout our lives.  Some stay for a brief moment, others stay forever.  Some of those people are just temporary helping you along your way or perhaps they are just a coworker until you part ways.  Others are meant to cross into your life be there for reasons one cannot explain. 

I am lucky to have such wonderful people in my life.  And I know for certain there are a very select few who have come into my life because it was "meant to be".  And I keep those people close to my heart.  

I have also had wonderful times with those "temporary people" that I have worked with, had brief friendships with or maybe they were just around for a short time only to part ways later.   And that was okay too. 

One of my peeps from my past looked me up the other day.  He had lived here in Asheville over ten years ago and then moved back to Arkansas where he grew up.  We lost contact with each other before he moved, can't really remember why, and then the years past by quickly.  I never really forgot about him, but I certainly didn't expect to see or hear from him again.  However, out of the blue, as they say, he reaches out to me as he was in town for a few hours the other night and wanted to catch up real quick.  Wow...that was certainly a surprise but a welcomed surprise for sure.  Hopefully we won't wait another ten plus years for our next visit. 

My former boss found me on Facebook.  Wow..again, a surprise.  I was a bit hesitant to "accept" his friend request, but I did as I have fond memories of working in that bar.  He wasn't a total dickhead, although he had his moments.  He most definitely had some hard times after he lost his business and made some stupid choices but given the whole picture of all that had happened, I can't imagine how he survived.  I've thought about him from time to time...hoping he was happy and well.  I guess I will find out now that we are officially "friends" on Facebook.  

Speaking of the bar, I have also run into two of my former bar guests.  My how time flies..it was good to see them both and it certainly reminds me of how much my life has changed the last ten years or so.  Wow...not only has my life really changed the last ten years ago, but my previous post regarding where I was twenty years ago really makes me think of all the things that have happened in my life thus far.  I've had quite a journey! 

Yes, people come and go like the tides of the sea.  Sometimes it's a really great ride of a wave that leaves after the storm.  And sometimes it remains steady and constant never leaving your side.  (How do you like that analogy?  haha)  Until next time...elizinashe

Daisies = Love & Affection

20 Years Ago...

This Never Gets Old...

A good friend of mine sent me a text the other day regarding a bit of an anniversary date in his life.  Twenty years ago he was taking his wedding vows to which he believed at that time was going to be long lasting and settle into a nice comfortable life.  Well...life had a different plan for him but after many trials, tribulations and adventures, my friend is in a really good place.


So then it made me think, where was I twenty years ago?  Wow...it seems such a lifetime ago.  I was such a different person back then.  I had a live-in boyfriend to which I thought too, he was going to be "my forever", two cats, a really nice apartment and the futuristic hope that I would have kids and a home environment that I wanted to recreate like I had grown up with.

Boy was I wrong.  Twenty years ago I thought I was on the verge of having the life I had always wanted.  The following year, I kicked out the said live-in boyfriend, kept the cats, did a lot of crying and eventually healed my heart.  It was not a good time for me.  But what I can say kicking out that boyfriend was the best thing I could have ever done.  Yes, it was hard but it also gave me a new set of feet , if you will, and I ventured out that summer on a solo vacation without a care in the world.  Not even a hotel reservation!  I just got in the car and drove out to Asheville as I had always wanted to check it out when I was younger as we passed through the city limits on our way to visit family all those years ago.  Now that I was free and single, I could do anything I wanted and I sure as hell did so.  

If These Sandals Could Talk...

The year after I had visited Asheville, I moved here with hopes of making a new life, starting new adventures and getting the hell out of Arkansas and live in the mountains, as I had always known I had wanted to do ever since grade school.  It was something I just had to try, whether it was a success or a complete failure. 


Eighteen years later, with many ups and downs and happy adventures I am still here.  I now have my own house and a better career.  I have some really groovy friends, discovered many a great restaurants, taken some really great vacations, discovered that I really like photography (and sometimes I take some really good pics!), started this blog, gone to many a Dave Matthews Band concerts, seen some really great music at the Orange Peel, worked in a really cool local bar, saw a Russian Ballet and a few performances from our local symphony. 

Downtown Asheville

Yeah...life is pretty good here.  Would I have done all these things in Arkansas?  Who knows...I might have had some similar experiences but I feel like taking this huge leap of faith and getting out of my comfort zone to chase a dream was not only the scariest thing I have done, but it was also the best thing I have ever done.  And I think my life is all the richer because of all of that.  I guess I should thank that boyfriend that had broken me.  If it weren't for that, I might not have decided to "get up and go". 

I feel more settled these days.  I'm really quite happy with my little life.  I couldn't imagine living anywhere else.  But who knows?  Life sure has a surprising way of pointing you towards your next adventure.  Wonder where I will be twenty years from now.  Until next time...elizinashe

What will the Future Hold?