So It Happened Today

💗 Hecubus 💗

Hecubus made his exit in this life this afternoon while sitting in my lap as I was sitting at the computer.  He was making his complaints known as par for the course, began to settle and had a brief seizure and then took his last breath.  It was that quick.  Totally unexpected but painless I am sure.

I kept myself together fairly well at the time.  I guess my nursing mind took over for moment until I could get him to the vet and have his body cremated.  I want to have his ashes with me, like I have with my tabby that moved on many moons ago. 

My heart is so very sad and my nights on the couch will never be the same.  I am so going to miss having him lying on top of me and in my face.  That part is going to be really hard. 

I don't regret a single thing I ever did for him.  I don't regret taking him to the emergency clinic in the wee hours of the morning when we needed to go even if it meant paying more money.  I don't regret buying all kinds of wet food every week when he got so picky, especially the last few years.  I don't regret staying up with him in the wee hours of the night when he was sick, or in the morning hours when I came home after working all night when he was not well.  I don't regret the times he puked all over my bed because I know he couldn't help it.  I don't regret buying some kitty steps so he could get up and down the bed easier because of his age and an old leg injury that began to give him a little more trouble.  I don't regret staying in town for vacation because I was afraid he'd get too sick while I was away.   I didn't want him to suffer in the least and I know that never really happened. 

My life was so much richer with him in it, even if the last couple of years were filled with anxiety and worry for him as I knew his time was drawing near.  He really was an amazing cat.  There were many times that not only myself but my vet too thought he was on his way to make his exit but he always seemed to rebound and remain by my side and in my face.  Head butts and all. 

No, he never suffered nor did he have any pain.  I am so very sad that he is gone but I am so very thankful for the way he chose to leave this Earth.  I hope he likes his next adventure.  I will certainly miss him terribly.  I could not have asked for a better kitty than my Hecubus.  I was one hundred percent his human that's for sure.  And I don't regret that by any means.  You certainly can't put a price on that kind of love.  And that's a very good thing.  Until next time...elizinashe

😌 Feeling Sad But Thankful 😌

Dating

If It Only Were This Easy

I had a bit of a date today.  Maybe it wasn't.  But it was sort of.  Just hanging out watching TV and having some drinks and conversation.  Nothing wrong with that.  No pressure and no heavy petting.  Not even a kissing session which was fine by me too.  I like getting to know someone better before I go there although I've know this guy for quite some time.  And no, it wasn't the heating & cooling guy that I still have a crush on.  I'd  go out with him in a skinny minute. 

I had a good time although I drank a bit more than I needed but that's all too easy when you're comfortable and chatting away.  I still haven't learned about that.  Gotta watch myself more carefully for next time. 

I don't think this guy will turn into a big romance or anything significant but I can certainly see us hanging out and spending some time together and that's okay.  I don't even know if I'm ready for anything serious despite the feeling that I actually do miss being in a relationship.  I guess I will know if that sort of thing crosses my path.  I know I'm picky and protective of myself and that's not a bad thing, but sometimes I wonder if I'm too protective and picky.  Have I missed one and didn't know it?  Have I dismissed some wonderful guy because I was too picky?  Or too independent? 

I wish I had those answers.  It gets harder as you get older.  I've grown into my habits and routine.  And that sort of stuff is hard to bend sometimes not to mention I've always been pretty independent and comfortable in my single status.  I'm not sure if that will change or if I can break that mold.  I guess time will tell.  Until next time...elizinashe

Tomorrow Is Another Day

The Wheels in My Mind

A Winter's Night Tease...

It's been cold today with a few flurries swirling around in the air but nothing really sticking to anything.  That winter storm landed farther north of our area which either way was fine with me.  I didn't leave the house at all today.  Dinner plans were rescheduled and all parties were happy. 

It's gotten windy during the night hours.  Sometimes you really can hear things blow around.  I suppose if it were raining or snowing really hard it would make a good opening for a scary story.  Maybe I will write one some day.

I've been restless and indecisive.  I want to start another crafty project but I don't have one item that I really need, and the other materials I really don't like for the type of craft I want to make.  Ugh...I keep going back and forth searching for something different, then I walk away.  Then I think about it some more.  And then I think where I need to go tomorrow to get more stuff so I can satisfy this itch.  But I also know that if I wait a while, I will find exactly what I need and be much happier.  Maybe it's the time change that's kept me restless.

Speaking of which, anytime we change our clocks, or it's the first day of what ever season has arrived, things are in a bit of a minor chaos.  Seriously, think about it.  If the full moon has an effect on the ebbs and tides of us humans and the earthly energy then why not the first day of Spring/Summer/Fall/Winter and changing our clocks ahead and backwards once again.  I'm pretty sure that's why our weather is slightly wacky and why I'm a bit restless.  The Earth's axis is tilted and so am I.  Think I'm crazy?  Then take note and just observe.  The first day of Spring is fast upon us so things might be a bit loopy and when we "Fall Back" with the clocks, things tend to slow down.  Just observe and tell me what ya think later. 

I wonder if musicians have to work harder to promote new music.  And are they still making money?  In the past, you bought the whole album.  These days you can buy just one song.  And with music videos mostly on YouTube as opposed to a music channel, then how do you know if your favorite artist has new music or a new album coming to be pressed and released?  And with most homes doing on-line television viewing, do they know to look up any music channels or concerts?  Just a thought. 

My mind tends to wander and wonder at the same time.  Then some other thought tends to drift in and then I become more distracted and sometimes frustrated.  Guess it's just a bit more tonight.  But that's okay.  I refuse to let it bother me tonight.  Until next time...elizinashe

Just Typing Away....

Productively Lazy

Inspiration for My Next Escape

I took some time away from work just to have some "time away".  No plans to leave town or have company mind you, although a trip out of my county borders would have been lovely, but just time away....

I had good intentions.  Meaning, I had a small bucket list of "to do" items and projects that have been on the back burner due to my crazy work schedule that I've been wanting to complete.  Well...I haven't crossed out everything just yet, I still have a few days to go before I return to work but I know it all won't get done in time. 

I've had one minor issue that needed to be addressed, as most unexpected issues are just that-unexpected and needs to be addressed.  Ugh...So a couple of my "to do" items will once again go on hold.  But that's okay.

I've done a few crafty projects which has made me quite happy.  My kitchen table is a hot mess but I don't care.  Creativity is supposed to be messy.  I like it that way.  I've caught up on some much needed cleaning finally-my very least favorite thing to do.  I have one more area that I need to tackle and I keep procrastinating about that.  But again, I still have a few days to knock that out before I go back to work.  With the impending rain to snow event that's coming, I suppose I will be holed up in my abode and find the will power to knock out that one last cleaning duty.  If the weather clears up, then that's my excuse to leave the house and do some window shopping.  Don't ya just love justification? 

I don't feel bad for not completing all that I had planned.  I did for a while, but then I realized that maybe I needed to be a bit lazy.  Maybe I needed to not plan so much in my off time as I feel like I already do that around my work schedule.  Maybe I needed to just take it nice and slow and do whatever the hell I felt like for the day.  And I feel like I've pretty much done that.  I may not have been able to do out of town, but even a trip away can sometimes feel rushed, hurried and over planned.  Plus, you need time to recover from all the travel and hustle and bustle of it all do you not? 

Why stress yourself out in trying to complete all your adult duties?  Life is short.  I want to be stress free for as long as I can.  Work always returns.  And that stress will come very soon.  I hope you allow yourself some lazy time.  It's good for the soul.  I hope next time I can get away to a nice beach and be lazy in the sand with a cocktail by my side.  I'm putting that one on my next "to do" list.  Until next time...elizinashe

A Few More Days Like This