It's Been a Crazy Kind of Week

Let It All Blow Away !

Whew!  What a week.  And it's not over yet. 

Being a night shifter, my week is a bit different from your normal day walker week, even though I've been off the last 6 days.  But for me, it's been a high anxiety, roller coaster kind of unwelcomed ride.

Lots of changes at work.  And sudden ones too.  Which has left everyone in a panic.  Lots of messaging, phone calls, worries and stress with the near future.  And realizing that there is not a whole lot that we can really do about it.  Which is quiet frustrating and frightening.

Hopefully, it will all work itself out after all the said messages, phone calls and support.  Only time will tell. 

My anxiety level was super high the other day.  Not only was I freaked out and very angry about the work stuff, I was also stressing about an up and coming visit with my dad.  I am trying to find a good flight for him as the long drive is a bit too hard on him these days.  And I really worry about him driving 900 + miles all by himself.  Especially when he decides to drive all the way home in one day on his return to my home state.  I bitch about it all the time, but he does get home safely albeit late.  I really don't think he's up to doing that again.  And oh...there's the wanting to reconnect thing with my mother too.  So hard to watch the rejection on his face. 

And of course, I'm frustrated with myself for not following up with my "to do" list that I have procrastinated for way too long.  Ugh...what will happen is that I will run around like crazy to get some last minute things done in a rushed amount of time which does nothing but exhaust me.  I need a helper.  For real.  But I know that's going to be a juggle to get that helper around my work schedule.  Regardless if I work days or nights.  Ah...singlehood. 

Even though my day was unsuccessful in my shoe shopping endeavor, which frustrated me to no end, I am glad that I am home.  It's been a relatively peaceful night and I hope that continues.  My brain tends to torment me when I go to bed and attempt to fall asleep at a decent hour.  I hope tonight will be different. 

The silver lining?  I came across a great quote at the most appropriate time.  I had to read it over and over again just so it would sink into my thoughts and wash all that anxiety away.  It sure did help.  I need to revert back to my mantra in nursing school to keep me pushing forward with success.  I think I've forgotten about it.  Time to bring it back out of it's bag.  Until next time... I will it!  elizinashe

Yes Yes and Yes !