Guess What...

A Late Night Hoot

It's 3AM and I'm wide awake.  Shocker I know.

I sometimes feel guilty for being up so late in my off time from work.  My downfall is that I usually fall asleep for a little while after I eat dinner, which includes a beer or wine so that adds to a sleepiness factor.  I know that.  But then...I'm up for the rest of the night.  Now I typically don't sleep for too long post meal but it still disrupts my rhythm.  I wonder how many other night shifters struggle with this issue.  Surely I'm not the only one. 

I don't mind it too terribly much.  I don't schedule appointments or activities early in the day, even when I did work daytime hours, I don't have kids so I don't need to rush them back and forth to school and I'm single so there's no worry about keeping my other half awake. 

But the late night hours can get lonely.  Sometimes it gives your mind too much time to spin and recycle crap that does not need to keep a home in your head.  I've been struggling with that too.  Hell, even the daytime hours can be spent recycling that crap in your head which does nothing for the betterment of my mood.  I hate that part.

On the flip side, stepping out on the deck in the wee hours of the night can be rather cleansing.  I've seen some wild creatures take a quick stroll through the neighborhood, done a lot of star gazing, witnessed a satellite burnout in the night sky, embraced the changes of the on-coming seasons and made lots of wishes on shooting stars while the majority of folks are slumbering away.  Guess that's not too bad now is it? 

Now if I could only use my late night hours to clean out some closets then that would be a good thing.  But alas....I procrastinate.  I like my wee hours to be relaxing.  Don't you?  Until next time...elizinashe

Sweet Dreams !

Procrastination or Laziness ?

Which One Do You Click ?

I wish I could be one of those Type A personalities.  You know, the type that sets out goals, makes a plan, knocks out the said plan and still makes time for social events and makes it all look so easy that it really wasn't any effort at all.  How do they do it? 

I've never been lazy.  In fact, I used to be quite busy and kept a nice routine to keep my life in order.  Then things changed, Life happened and I realized that I wasn't as happy as I thought I had been.  And then other Life events came into play and but a big halt into my routine and forced me into another path.  And that was sort of a good thing.  But it was a challenge. 

I've never been one of those Type A personalities either.  I know my limits.  I have to stop and take time for me.  I've always been aware of that.  I wonder if those Type A's know how to stop.  And are they truly happy?

Regardless, I do have a large bucket list of things that I need to tackle but it all seems so overwhelming.  Some of it is self imposed home improvements, some of it is clearing out my basement which contains a lot of crap that belongs to my mother.  Now, my mother is still alive mind you.  But this is a bunch of crap that my father brought out over a year ago and it's pretty much all still there.  There is furniture that I don't want, antique stuff, loads of knick-knacks, sheet music, mindless junk and an old fireplace mantel that she bought even though we never had a fireplace.  And my mother too has procrastinated about coming to retrieve the said crap.  So it's still there...waiting. 

Sigh...I have ideas on how to get rid of it but the planning is a bit daunting not to mention making it happen.  I just don't want to do it.  It's too much. 

I read an article not too long ago that talks about procrastination.  It's not an issue of being "lazy" per say, but the task itself is attached to negative emotions, which never feels good and therefore that is why we procrastinate.  Whew!  For a moment, I thought I was just being lazy, selfish and irresponsible.  Yes, I'm an adult.  But sometimes I don't feel like one, especially compared to my more successful peers. 

Yes, the basement will get cleaned out.  In time.  Guess I need to take some baby steps.  There's just a lot of emotional baggage attached to it all and I feel very alone in the matter.  And I know in time I will have to clean out both my mother's house and my father's house and that task will be a major effort.  I am certainly not looking forward to that.  I wish I could just pack my stuff up and disappear sometimes therefore I won't have to deal with it or be responsible.  But I'm really not that kind of a person. 

Do I have my lazy days and moments?  Absolutely.  Do I have periods of full-on bucket list task oriented days?  Absolutely.  I just wish I could knock out one smidgen of the seemingly overwhelming tasks.  I think I'd feel so much better about it all.  Until then, I will keep planning in my head and not act on it.  It's worked so far so why stop now?  haha...until next time...elizinashe

One Step At A Time

Friends

Friends & Memories

You know how there is that Facebook memory thing?  You know, the thing or things, that you posted a year ago on that particular day.  An anniversary if ya will from the year or years prior.

Well, apparently I posted a quip back in 2009 saying that "met an old friend for the first time today".  And that's it.  Now I have no idea who that friend could have been, but I still like the quote regardless.  Sometimes you meet people for the first time and you immediately know that they are a part of your tribe.  We've all experienced it, right?  There is just something about that person and you know that by some force of nature, the universe lined things up and paths crossed.  I like those moments. 

I've been channel surfing mindlessly as I am awake and bored.  "When Harry Met Sally" is on the tube.  I've seen it a dozen times but I really don't mind watching it again.  You have to admit, it's a good story.  And it's about friendship and love.  You really can't go wrong with that now can you?  It gives me hope that real love and friendship still exists in this day and time.  I may not be overly girly, but there is a bit of a romantic secretly hiding inside.  I just don't do the mushy stuff.  Bleh.  Sorry guys...

I would not be anywhere without my friends.  Seriously.  I'm pretty independent and sometimes stubborn.  Maybe a lot stubborn but I have my insecurities and anxieties for sure.  I do not deny that at all.  But I am so damn thankful for my friends who get that part of me and love that part of me.  I'm told that I'm pretty funny too.  haha...but regardless, my friends are so important to me.  I know I would have a very difficult time navigating this thing called Life if I did not have my peeps.  I hope that I will once again will say "met an old friend for the first time today" many more times in my life.  Because those moments are so very valuable don't ya think?  Until next time...elizinashe

Weird is Good

It's So Hard...

Love It or Hate It ?

Social media...it's a love/hate relationship is it not?

I'm guilty of it myself.  What I find most difficult is to keep my mouth shut when I see blatant bullshit.  Crap that is completely misleading, false or hateful.  Especially with the political stuff.  Every now and then, I have to make a comment or leave a factual statement along with the factual link of proof so I can prove my point.  Does that make me egotistical?  I think not.  I just hate a liar.  More importantly, I hate fake shit that people automatically believe just because it's there.  Nobody check their facts anymore.  If it's on social media then it must be true. 

What really bothers me is that no matter what you say, or what link you share, no matter what point you are trying to say, those opposed just aren't open to a discussion.  What the fuck?  Whatever happened to acting like an adult?  And just because you see some "meme" from some person that you do not know you believe it to be true because it supports your beliefs?  Did you check the fact on that?  No?  Then why are you sharing that meme?  You don't know the person who created that meme?  Then why are you sharing it? 

Unless it brings a positive message then don't share it.  Unless you can back it up. 

It's so hard.  I get so mad sometimes.  And when I do respond which is very occasionally, people get their panties in a wad, begin to argue and not even acknowledge the facts I attempt to present.  People get angry, mean and attempt to prove their point which I understand but again....they do not want to have an open conversation about it.  It's their way and their way only.  My God...how did we ever get this way? 

Taking deep breaths over this.  As I am trying to "let go" of an "argument" with some chic that I barely know.  And because she's "been in politics for 20 years" that make her an expert.  This chic does not accept anything or any factual link I have shared.  God I hope she doesn't want to run for office.  It all just makes me sick.

I wonder if other countries have so much political drama.  Well..some we know.  But others?  What's it like in Switzerland?  I've always heard they stay neutral in all things.  The Netherlands are lovely I hear.  Except maybe for Winter.  Did you know that Iceland has equal maternity leave for both men and women?  Yeah...the fathers are allowed equal leave for the baby as it is deemed vital for both the baby, the parents and the work ethic.  Yep...check it out.  Amazing. 

Why can't we all get along?  And for Christ's sake...stop arguing over stupid shit and let's have a real adult discussion for once.  Have we really become that hateful?  God I hope not.  Until next time...elizinashe

I'm Tired of Feeling Like This