Procrastination or Laziness ?

Which One Do You Click ?

I wish I could be one of those Type A personalities.  You know, the type that sets out goals, makes a plan, knocks out the said plan and still makes time for social events and makes it all look so easy that it really wasn't any effort at all.  How do they do it? 

I've never been lazy.  In fact, I used to be quite busy and kept a nice routine to keep my life in order.  Then things changed, Life happened and I realized that I wasn't as happy as I thought I had been.  And then other Life events came into play and but a big halt into my routine and forced me into another path.  And that was sort of a good thing.  But it was a challenge. 

I've never been one of those Type A personalities either.  I know my limits.  I have to stop and take time for me.  I've always been aware of that.  I wonder if those Type A's know how to stop.  And are they truly happy?

Regardless, I do have a large bucket list of things that I need to tackle but it all seems so overwhelming.  Some of it is self imposed home improvements, some of it is clearing out my basement which contains a lot of crap that belongs to my mother.  Now, my mother is still alive mind you.  But this is a bunch of crap that my father brought out over a year ago and it's pretty much all still there.  There is furniture that I don't want, antique stuff, loads of knick-knacks, sheet music, mindless junk and an old fireplace mantel that she bought even though we never had a fireplace.  And my mother too has procrastinated about coming to retrieve the said crap.  So it's still there...waiting. 

Sigh...I have ideas on how to get rid of it but the planning is a bit daunting not to mention making it happen.  I just don't want to do it.  It's too much. 

I read an article not too long ago that talks about procrastination.  It's not an issue of being "lazy" per say, but the task itself is attached to negative emotions, which never feels good and therefore that is why we procrastinate.  Whew!  For a moment, I thought I was just being lazy, selfish and irresponsible.  Yes, I'm an adult.  But sometimes I don't feel like one, especially compared to my more successful peers. 

Yes, the basement will get cleaned out.  In time.  Guess I need to take some baby steps.  There's just a lot of emotional baggage attached to it all and I feel very alone in the matter.  And I know in time I will have to clean out both my mother's house and my father's house and that task will be a major effort.  I am certainly not looking forward to that.  I wish I could just pack my stuff up and disappear sometimes therefore I won't have to deal with it or be responsible.  But I'm really not that kind of a person. 

Do I have my lazy days and moments?  Absolutely.  Do I have periods of full-on bucket list task oriented days?  Absolutely.  I just wish I could knock out one smidgen of the seemingly overwhelming tasks.  I think I'd feel so much better about it all.  Until then, I will keep planning in my head and not act on it.  It's worked so far so why stop now?  haha...until next time...elizinashe

One Step At A Time