Lazy Time

It's a Bit Like This

  It's a cool, gray rainy day here.  Tomorrow will be better.  Still so much to do...and yet, I have zero motivation to do anything.  At least I have food.  And wine of course. 

 

 The holidays have come and gone.  New Year's coming next.  Which will   be spent at home.  In the comfort of my pjs, food, wine and  new kitty.  Yep.  You read that right.  I snagged me a little kitty over the Thanksgiving weekend.  And I don't regret it.  He's a cute little potato for sure.  

 

I have really good ideas and smart plans but implementing them is another thing.  Is that normal?  Clearing out my mother's house is a huge task.  And making sure that my father who is 900+ miles away stays afloat is always in my mind.  He's doing well these days.  I'm so thankful that he got some counseling.  So important.  Now, if I could just let go of some guilt in my lack of progression with my mother's estate.  I had hoped I would be farther along than this.  But alas, I am not.  When will it ever end?  It certainly isn't happening today.  I just can't.  I don't even want to make any phone calls which I really should.  But nope...maybe soon.  I need to feel good about something.  

 

Otherwise...I am surviving.  And procrastinating.  I'm pretty good at that.  And forget a "New Year's Resolution".  I don't do that shit.  Because I know I will not follow through with it.  Procrastination at its best.  Aren't we all a bit guilty of that? 

 

In the meantime, I hope 2021 is a whole lot better.  This past year has royally sucked.  I am hopeful that all will go much more smoothly.  In a bigly way.  HA!  Sorry, couldn't help it.  Until next time...elizinashe

Meet Squid

Awake and Restless

Feeling a Bit Like This

  The last few days have been peaceful ones for a change.  Still much to do with my mother's estate.  So much to do...

 

I'm awake and a bit restless.  I could empty some boxes that I have here at my house.  I could do some cleaning.  I could do lots of responsible things, like clear off my kitchen table.  But alas...I refuse.  I'm just not feeling it.  Is that being too lazy?  

 

I have found some sort of Peace of mind lately.  Finally.  I know the dark days will return but for the most part, I am well.  I'm in a much better place than I was a few months ago.  Hell, even one month ago.  And it has been a blessing.  

 

I know not what the future will bring.  I have no idea when I will finally get my mother's house cleared out and ready for the market.  So much to do...and the yard is a mess thanks to the leaves and hurricane winds that came not long ago.  I refuse to stress about it now.  It serves no purpose.  

 

I am thankful for my friends.  I am thankful that I have my own home.  I am thankful that I have money to pay my bills and money to keep mom's stuff covered.  At least for now.  I am just thankful.  

 

One step at a time.  One day at a time.  One breath at a  time.  Thanks for reading.  See ya soon. 

Until next time...elizinashe

Channeling Life

Ramblings

Looking for Peace

 Restless mind, anxious heart.  Deep breaths I say...deep breaths...

 

It will work out.  It will work out.  But how so?  So much to do, so little time.  Pins and needles it is.  Pins and needles, stabbing my mind, pitting in my stomach.  Don't think, don't rehash...just don't . Keep moving forward.  Keep moving forward....have some Faith.  Stop obsessing.  But oh so hard to do...

 

Masked Singer?  How about masked shoppers?  Masked people.  Masked co-workers.  Masked everyone.  Will I ever see your face again?  When will I see strangers smile again?  Focus on the eyes they say...windows to the soul.  But the souls I see are blocked like their mouth.  Blocked like their minds.  Blocked like their heart.  Will we ever heal?

Big fight gonna happen tonight.  Are ya gonna tune in?  How's it all gonna shake down?  Wish I could escape the chaos.  But we are surrounded by it all the time.  It's relentless.  Will it ever change?  Will we ever be at Peace?  Oh Lady Liberty shine your light!  I'm tired of the darkness.  

Distract, breathe, heal.  One step at a time.  Have a smoke.  Have a drink.  Look up at the night sky...and just be.  Just be.  

Until next time...elizinashe

Looking for Freedom

The Dipsy Doodle

Ice Cream !

 You know those group things on social media labeled "if you grew up here.." with whatever hometown you are from?  I'm a part of mine...Fort Smith, AR.  Just for fun.  

 

So earlier tonight someone had posted about an ice cream truck that had existed in the 70s and part of the 80s back in the day.  I do believe that it was in existence in the late 60s but I wasn't around then.  Regardless, I do remember that ice cream truck.  

 

In fact, the lady that owned it lived on the next block from us.  She and her husband were members of our church.  They had three sons who were basically grown and in college when I was young.  But I do remember the Dipsy Doodle as it was called.  A small red food truck, with the tinkling music slowly driving around the neighborhood and stopping for all us kids as we bolted out of the house for treats.  

 

Remember that 3 cent gum?  Supper Bubble was it?  Ice Cream Sandwiches?  Orange Pops?  Creamsicles?  Fudge Pops and Drumsticks?  Yep...it was all there.  No hand dipped things on a cone but you get the point.  Great stuff.  Great memories....I miss an ice cream truck coming through my neighborhood.  Tinkling music and all. 

 

The lady that had the truck was a petite lady, short black hair and bright blue eyes with cat framed glasses.  She was also our local Tupperware lady.  Yes...I'm "dating " myself.  She was neat lady and had a very curious mind.  I remember her buying local peaches and sharing the said peaches that she would freeze and can for later use.  I remember snacking on slightly defrosted slightly still frozen sugared sliced peaches on a hot summer day.  In Tupperware of course!  And it was delightful!  

Her husband was an engineer of some sort, and apparently worked for a NASA station that was hidden here in the mountains of North Carolina in Rosman.  I remember seeing stacks of science type magazines in their house along with their black cat Boo, who mostly stayed on the couch taking a nap as most black cats do.  They were interesting people for sure and I have found memories of that ice cream truck.  The Dipsy Doodle.  I wish I had pictures of that thing...a little history and  perhaps sentimentality.  Those were good days for sure.  

Although our ice cream lady and her husband have long passed onto their next adventure, that one little comment from one stranger who also remembered the Dipsy Doodle on a social media group  brought back some fond memories from my childhood.  And that's a good thing.  I think we all could use a little bit of that these days don't ya think?  Until next time...elizinashe.  

Who Wants a Popsicle ?

Is It Over Yet?

A Key to Keep

Well Hell...this summer surely has been a crappy one.  In fact, 2020 has truly sucked ass all the way. 

You know it's true.

I am so sick of this COVID shit.  And it ain't over either.  I knew it was going to be a thing in January.  However I certainly did not expect it to become such a shit show as it has been.  And the cases keep rising because people are clearly stupid. 

I had to make a quick trip out to my home state as my father was not coping well at all out there.  Despite my parents divorce, my dad was spiraling down after my mother's death and was not in a good place physically or mentally at all.  Thank God for his neighbor.  I cannot thank that man enough. 

So...in the midst of dealing with my mother's affairs and needing to clear out the house, I put things on hold and grabbed a flight out to the Natural State to help my dad get back on his feet.  However prior to my arrival dad did make some steps of his own and got into counseling.  I am super proud of him for doing that.  That's a very hard thing to do especially his generation.  They did not talk about depression or anxiety back in the day.  It was not acknowledged or accepted.  And if you were really ill you were sent away to an institution and never heard from again.  So kudos to you dad for making that very  bold step.

I am tired and weary. I am slowly getting myself back into a routine to tackle responsibilities before I return to work. There is much to do but I will limit myself to so much-I have to.  It's the only way to keep my own sanity.  Or insanity if you will.  haha...

I am so thankful for my friends who have been so supportive and have continued to text and call through all this mess, even when I was in Arkansas.  It's kept me afloat. It truly takes a village folks. Regardless of where your village may be or where your tribe exists even if they are from afar. 

In the meantime keep it easy.  Times are tough enough.  Remember the little things and take time for those little moments because it's all so important.  As for myself, I will keep moving forward as always.  Until next time...elizinashe

Don't Forget to Laugh !

No Pics Tonight

So here I sit, snacking on some Mac n Cheese because it's sounds good.  Comfort food if you will...warm, creamy and cheesy.  A childhood staple.  And some wine of course because I am an adult.  And more of an adult now than before.

I lost my mother on May 31.  I was with her.  And as difficult as it was I am so thankful for that.  It had been weeks and weeks and longer since we last saw each other due to scheduling, distance, time, car issues and then the COVID  shit.  And given her age, I did not want to expose her of potential harm even though I've remained fairly healthy.  I hope that continues.

So much to do.  So much to process...my mind bounces between the grief and depression to task oriented crap that follows a death.  I have good support. I have really good friends.  My mother has really good friends.  But in the end...it's all on me. 

It's just all so much but I know I will get through it-one step at a time.  I pray.  I hope.  I shutdown.  I ignore.  I get back up.  I begin again slowly.  Because that's all I know what to do. 

There is not a rule book on how to deal with all of this shit.  There is not a guide on grief.  There is not ....just not....

So what's the next step?  I don't know.  I have closure commitments regarding my mom's house tomorrow.  After that...not so sure.  But that's okay...I'm going on my timeline.  And that's all that matters.  Until next time...elizinashe. 

Knock, Knock...

😂 Anyone Guilty ?  😂

Who's still out there?  How's your world these days? 

Today is Memorial Day.  A day of remembrance, thankfulness and placing flags on the headstones of the fallen that lost their lives fighting for our freedom. 

But this year has certainly been different.  People are getting itchy.  People are getting mad.  People are beginning to complain that our freedoms and rights are being taken away due to all this shutdown and mask requirements in public.  There is a growing minority that believe it's all "just a flu" and that it's nothing but mind and government control.  Jesus...really folks?  Give me a break.  If you really believe that, then ask your President Elect why he cut funding to the CDC and continually ignored their warnings and alerts over the last few years and especially the multiple warnings all through January.  We, as a Nation, could have been better prepared.  We, as a Nation are not immune.  Remember when we thought "nothing could happen" to us?  Then 9/11 came and went.  We are not immune...

Believe you me, I am so fucking sick of this shit.  I miss going to a restaurant.  I miss going to my favorite haunts for home goods, clothes, shoes and knick-knacks.  I hate having to wear a mask every time I go to the grocery store.  I hate having to wait outside at one of our other grocery stores so they can limit how many people can be inside at one given time.  Hate. It.  BUT...I am glad that the "essential business's" are taking precautions.  This is the real deal folks.  And it ain't over. 

We will be forever scarred from this like 9/11.  We will never forget.  But I think we have forgotten our manners.  We have forgotten how to be kind.  We have forgotten that spewing Hate and False Information does nothing but continue the divide.  And it's becoming a huge divide I'm afraid.  I find that very, very sad...

One of my favorite art galleries is opening back up with limited hours and masks requirements.  I'm totally for it.  There have been a couple of photography pieces that I have wanted for two years now.  I finally came to terms that I should go ahead and buy them.  And then the shutdown happened.  Sigh...I've waited long enough.  It's time to open slowly and carefully.  But damn I can't wait to go shopping for my new treats.  And I will happily wear my mask.  And if I plan it right, I might be able to grab a bite to eat at one of our many local joints.  I have missed them so.

In the meantime, I pray that you will remain healthy.  I pray that you will be able to join your friends socially and in person without the fear of getting sick.  I pray that our country will become more united than divided.  I pray, I pray, I pray...until next time...elizinashe

Hope in the Chaos

Are You About to Bust Yet?

I Need Wide Open Spaces

It's a quiet night with a slight breeze.  It's been a bit warm today and the night has yet to really cool down.  Rain in the future.  Glad I didn't wash all the yellow off my car today.  Maybe Mother Nature will take care of that for me in the wee hours of the night.

Today has been a good day.  I made my trip to the grocery store, spoke with my mother and actually used the vacuum on my kitchen floor.  Did a quick mop too.  As much as I hate doing those things, it did feel good to clean up a bit.  I will focus on another room tomorrow as I have many rooms to clean now. 

My mentality has been much better today compared to others.  This COVID thing is getting difficult.  And I'm afraid it's not completely over.  Our lives have been changed forever.  I miss the days of walking around freely without fear.  I wonder if we will ever return to a more normal public engagement.  I'm finding more and more people not wearing masks or taking any precautions.  We are all tired.  And some are beginning to adopt the hoax and government control mentality.  And getting really ugly about it.  And that's frightening.  People are mad.  I get it.  But stop comparing numbers.  This shit ain't over and we will won't have any proper statistics for a very long time. 

I hope you are well.  I hope there is something in your day that makes you happy.  I hope you stay well.  And I hope that we can all gather in public and hug each other again without the fear of becoming sick.  I hope, I hope, I hope.  Until next time...elizinashe

Sending Peace

Aimlessly Mindless...

Let's Gather For a Feast

How you doing out there?  How often do you get out and about?  Compared to our previous lives before the Corona.  How's your mentality?

Staying at home in my off time is getting old.  Not that I would schedule many escapades anyway prior to the COVID 19, BUT...not being able to go shop like I want to, like I need to, is a real bummer.  I had plans dammit.  I was going to pick up some local art.  Look for a real couch.  Go to a concert.  Check out the new art museum.  And now...it's the grocery store and at least once a week I will pick up some take out from my local watering hole.  Dang I wish we could get to a point where I could have a pint while I wait.  I can sit outside and social distance.  Sigh...not that I need an excuse to drink more than I already have been.  I did a bit much last night.  Oops!  So easy to do...

Funny how a pandemic has cornered us into actually talking to friends and family again.  Like the old days...I find that many of us are actually making a more concerted effort to checking in with our peeps.  And our family.  Shouldn't we have been doing that anyway?  How did we stray away from those phone calls where we actually talk and catch up about our lives?  When did we stop connecting? 

I managed a play date with a friend last week.  Jesus did that feel good!  We took a walk around the woods and then put on some T Rex outfits and danced around in the yard.  AND we got to hug without the fear of getting the COVID.  haha..I mean, I'd hug her anyway at this point but putting on some silly outfits and playing around was totally worth it.  I see another play date in the future. 

This crisis is far from over.  But I hope it's beginning to wane.  I need to get out and see people again.  I have a bucket list of things to tackle all which include businesses that are currently closed because of State orders.  And I'm tired of living in fear.  I refuse to let those anxieties plant roots in my brain.  I'm over it.  Aren't you? 

In the meantime, stay safe, call your peeps, get ready to bust out because that day will come very soon.  I have to have faith in that.  And when that day comes it will be a most glorious moment that will be hard to forget.  I think we all can agree on that.  Until next time...elizinashe

We Will Prevail

A Different Kind of Wednesday

Pretty Powerful Don't Ya Think ?

Happy Spring Y'all! 

It's official, the pollen has descended.  And all over my car.  It's supposed to rain tonight, so maybe that will help.  I'm too chicken to wash my car and touch the wand, although I do have gloves I could wear.  And yes, we have some automatic car washes but being that I have a nice sized "nic" in my winshield from a very large pebble that came flying out of nowhere,  I'm again too chicken to go through an automatic wash out of fear that the washing device might make that hole a bit bigger.  And yes, I've used a self sealing kit to cement it and keep it from spreading.  It's been over a year now so I guess I'm safe.  Fingers crossed. 

So I made it to the store and back without much trouble.  I've worn a mask the last two times I've gone.  I"m pretty scared of this Covid shit.  And being that I already work in a hospital I want to take extra precautions for my own health.  I'm slightly compromised, I've already been a bit puny due to allergies, intermittent sore throat and just in general anxious.  I miss my bar...I miss having the freedom to join my peers for a beer and a snack.  Especially now that the weather is nicer and the local breweries have wide open spaces.  However, they too are closed.  Sad.

So here I sit, listening to the Rolling Stones typing away.  I've finished a present for a friend's birthday, got some chicken ready so I can do a stir fry, cleared up my crafty mess and cleaned up the kitchen table-mostly.  I still have some clutter but that's normal for me.  Maybe I'll find the skills to keep it completely clean, I don't know...I'm feeling a bit rebellious today.  haha

If I did not have this thing I think I'd be pulling my hair out.  I'm glad it's here.  I'm glad I started it.  There's only so much social media that I can take and forget the news.  I have to walk away.  Especially when the dumbfuck begins to speak.  He's just a horrible human in all aspects.  And I will leave it at that.  Karma will come for him. 

In the meantime, I hope those of you who maybe reading this are safe and well.  I hope you find the time to find something good in your day wherever you may be.  I hope these crazy times ends soon.  And never, ever do I hope that it returns.  I hope we can return to a time that we can hug and kiss one another very soon.  Don't you?  Until next time...elizinashe

Keep the Faith

Here We Go !

Getting My Crafty On !

So how's the self quarantine going?  Eating more?  Drinking?  Getting too high perhaps?  Face Time?  Learning about this thing called Zoom?

I am considered an "essential worker".  Duh...I'm a nurse.  Our COVID cases are rising in my county, and surrounding counties as well.  We've already had our first death related to the Corona virus.  I expect more to come.  Some say that we are two weeks behind NYC.  We have yet to peak.  I know that to be true.  Sigh...it's frightening for sure.

In my short time off from working the weekend, I have made one trip to the grocery store.  I was lucky to find what I needed.  And then what I didn't need aka ice cream.  haha...Might as well, right? 

So far I've been lucky I guess.  My patients have been healthy so far.  Visitors have been restricted.  With very few exceptions.  Rumor has it that we will now be screened for a fever before walking into the building.  That should have happened two weeks ago.  And that we are now required to wear masks.  And that should have happened two weeks ago as well.  And nope...no N95s.  There's just not enough to go around. 

Today hasn't been too bad.  I did some crafty things, posted some pictures, made a nice dinner and knocked out some laundry since I return to work tomorrow.  I must say today has been a lot better than my previous time away from work.  Way too much time to think about all that's going on and allowing my fears to plant roots in my head.  Not today Satan.  I just can't continue to live that way. 

So in the meantime, look for the little things.  Limit your news time.  Limit the social media paranoia.  Limit your distance.  Play some music, do some writing, start something creative.  Sit outside, maybe a nice drive in the country.  Break away from the walls of our stressful minds.  It's been an overload lately and I've had my fill.  This is far from over but I am learning ways to cope in more distracting ways that are more beneficial than the alternative.  Except the wine...can you blame me?  Keep the Faith guys.  And as always, be safe.  Until next time...elizinashe. 

Take Time for Yourself !

Sitting in Silence

Embrace the Quiet

Good Morning-at least it's morning to me.

It's a different kind of Sunday.  Quiet, cool, calm...the birds are chirping, the neighborhood is holed up.  The Air BnB's have cleared out.  It all seems pretty peaceful but there is a sadness in the air too. 

Our mountain town is surviving.  Our local restaurants are closed to the public.  Take out only if they are able to offer that.  Hotels empty.  People have cancelled.  And smartly so.  Our service industry people are hurting.  Our healthcare workers are worried.  Not enough supplies to go around.  There's a shortage everywhere, nation wide.  And we have our first confirmed case in our own county as of yesterday.  Two other neighboring counties have confirmed cases as of last week.  And more on the way.  Rumor has it that two of our hospital floors are filled with presumptive Corona patients.  Where are they going to put the rest? 

Never in my life would I have expected to see such a demise.  I thought the 2016 campaign was a nightmare.  I thought the last four years was unbelievable.  Now...I have no words.  I have much anger and fear.  I must have hope.  I must have faith.  I must have patience.  I must...

Even without the pandemic, I had no real plans today.  My local hangout is closed, doing take out.  So no bar fly camaraderie for me.  No local beer to sip while we share stories and bitch about whatever is on our minds.  I worry about my local watering hole.  It's been an anchor of support for me and I hope the business survives this mess.  I hope all of our local business's survive this mess as we have many wonderful eateries.  It's going to be a difficult journey.  I wonder how other countries survive their pandemics.  How did they make it? 

I hope your Sunday is peaceful.  I hope you take some time to sit in Silence and absorb the sights and surroundings around you.  There is comfort to find in all of this.  I have to believe in that.  The Sun will still shine, the flowers will pop out and the trees will still house the creatures around us.  Look for the little things.  It's the only thing we can bank on.  Until next time...elizinashe

More of This Please

Are You Ready ?

It Won't Come to This

So this Covid thing...

The media coverage is getting a bit much.  BUT, as a nurse I think it's important to be very aware and take precautions.  Do we need to panic?  No, not really.  BUT, as our scientists are madly working to figure this thing out it's important to listen.  I expect it to continue to wreak havoc in our country like we have seen in China, Italy and all across the globe.  It's even made it's way to "down under" in Australia as evidenced by Tom Hanks and his wife Rita Wilson.

Remember, viruses are birthed, grow, replicate and become stronger and stronger over time.  That's how Mother Nature works.  Survival of the Fittest.  Science is real.  And this particular strain has now figured out how to form a second strain.  It's a lot of DNA and RNA replication stuff that's too difficult to explain here but those of you who are the nerdy type will know what I'm talking about.  Yes...it's a mess. 

What's more frustrating for me is that our President Elect eliminated researchers, scientists and programs within the CDC who were well knowledged in such matters and even had warned him of a possible pandemic like we are seeing now is highly possible and we, as a country need to form a plan and protocol to keep in place.  He fired them and cut funding.  That was two years ago.  Now we have wide spread chaos.  Have you seen the pictures and videos from the Chicago O'Hare airport with the international passengers coming back home waiting to be "screened" ?  It's quite horrific.  I can't even imagine the pandemonium.  Not to mention we first got word about this Corona back in January.  Right around the time I flew up to Baltimore.  Large airport, masses of people.  It was on my mind then.  But our jackass of a leader waits two months to actually do something.  And now we are playing catch up.  Which rarely is successful. 

It all makes me so angry.  We could have done better.  We could have been prepared.  But our elected leaders fucked us up.  And I expect billions of dollars to be lost.  And our deficit to hit rock bottom because all those who have lost money will want some sort of federal bailout.  All from a virus. 

In the meantime, don't freak.  Take care of yourself.  Why do we need reminders to wash your hands?  When did we stop?  Spring is on the way.  Sunshine and happier days ahead!  This too shall pass.  Until next time...elizinashe

More of This Please !

Tomorrow Is Another Day

Question Is...When Do I Begin ?

Ah...Procrastination....I know who you are.  All too well.

How much do you procrastinate?  Or do you knock out your "to do" list every week?  Every day?  Always?  Or are you the last minute crunch kind of guy, running on adrenaline?  Like the rush do you?

I know I've written about this before.  Perhaps quite a few times.  It's a thing that haunts me.  Along with other things.  But alas...I procrastinate.  And then when I need to get things done it stresses me out because I waited too long.  I wish I were better at planning ahead.  Have no fear folks, I'm not in a complete bind.  Just fallen behind on the responsible duties which never ends.  But still...I'm a bit stressed. 

I read some time ago that the reason we procrastinate is because the task at hand is not a pleasant one.  A task or responsibilities that don't bring us satisfaction.  Or pleasure.  We procrastinate because it's associated with something negative, perhaps painful.  Or stressful.  PTSD maybe?  I'm not sure...but I know in my case I procrastinate because...well...for many reasons.  I guess it depends on the task.  Like cleaning.  Especially the bathroom.  Yuk.  Kitchen table?  It's a mess.  Car repairs?  I need a ride.  And if I have to leave my car for a day or two for the said repairs....then I'm screwed.  I need my wheels.  Work always returns.  That box I've been meaning to ship for the last three months?  Sigh...at least it's not time sensitive. 

So do you procrastinate?  How often?  And what do you procrastinate about?  What's your excuse?  Curious minds want to know...until next time...elizinashe.

Yep. 

It's One of Those Nights

Starry Starry Night

I'm coming off of a long stretch of work.  It's nice that I don't have to go back until next week.  I need the break.  I keep telling myself I should pick up an extra shift like I used to, or at least a half shift.  I'm not desperate for the money but it sure does help.  Plus, I need things.  Like a new couch.  But alas....I just can't bring myself to do it.  I need my time away.

I'm tired and a bit achy.  I know I'm fighting a bit of a head cold too, but I just can't fall asleep yet.  My mind is too busy.  I've got a few worries swirling in my head and it's difficult to filter out.  I have lots of "catching up" to do house wise, food wise, laundry and bed linen wise and oh...I think there is something wrong with my car.  Great timing, eh?

I know it will get done.  At least the majority of it but all that is swirling in my head too.  Sometimes I really hate tackling all of this shit called Life by myself.  And I'm afraid it will always be that way.  I really don't have much hope for a solid or lasting relationship.  Not that I need one to complete my existence or make me "feel whole" but it sure does suck not having an extra anchor if you know what I mean. 

So here I sit, typing away...snacking on a breakfast bowl and a glass of wine because that sounded like a good idea for a slightly hungry belly and perhaps a segue to induce sleep.  It really doesn't matter that I'm up this late.  What duties I need to accomplish tomorrow really doesn't have a timeline.  As long as I am home by dark.  My night vision isn't so great and I really hate driving when it's really dark.  Ahh...the joys of aging.  Amongst other things.  And so you have it my readers, whoever you may be.  A restless, worried mind in the wee hours before dawn.  Sometimes I think I will always be this way.  And if that's the case, then so be it.  As long as I have this gig I think I'll be okay.  Until next time...elizinashe.

I Need to Practice This More

Which Type Are You ?

Is It Quiet in Space ?

How much alone time do you need?  Are you one of those independent types who don't need  a busy social life?  Or are you one of those more dependent types that need your calendar all filled up with friends and activities? 

Introvert or Extrovert?  Maybe a blend of both?  Social anxiety?  Or a leader among your pack?

I think I'm a bit of a blend of social and anti-social.  An introverted extrovert perhaps? 

The last couple of weeks have been a flurry of activity.  But in a good way.  But sheesh...am I glad to be home alone tonight.  I needed some down time after my errands and a quick chat with my neighbor.  Work beckons and sometimes that can be really draining.  And I expect it to be exactly that.  So much is going on these days....people are making some noise and our "for profit" hospital is feeling the heat so to speak.  I kind of like that to be honest.  Sound off your horns I say!

In short, the last couple of weeks have been filled with friends, wine, laughter and much to my surprise very little stress around it all.  I was able to help a friend in great need, have a special peep stay due to bad weather and spend some time with another friend from long ago who was in town on business.  And the coolest thing about it for me was that I finally have a place to call home and a lovely guest area for the above said friends and future guests.  I may not have a lot and I may have some clutter piles, dust bunnies and disorganized bins but your real peeps really don't care.  What I have learned is that all they want is your time.  And that's good enough for me.  I'm glad they get my kind of crazy and my kind of style.  Forget being all primp and proper.  Who needs that?

So tonight was spent making a nice dinner for me, a couple glasses of wine and lounging in my pjs' and bathrobe.  I really know how to channel that inner "little ol' lady".  And I relish that.  Perhaps I should give my aging alter ego a name.  How about Gladys?  Sounds silly enough.

I know the next few nights will bring its normal chaos.  And I know my coming short time off will be spent quietly at home before I begin the work cycle again.  And then it will be more time to be quiet.  I know I will need it.  Unless something more festive comes my way....you gotta get out and play at some point, right?  Until next time...elizinashe. 

Love Yourself First

Look To The Helpers

It's Good to Share !

Do you ever wonder what your purpose in Life may be?  Do you know your calling?  Have you always known what your career/life path would be?  Have you pursued your original intent?  Or have you just "winged it" and fallen into whatever Life threw at you? 

I've always been willing to help others.  Not all the time, but when I know in my gut, it is the right thing to do not to mention that I have zero problem in doing so, I really don't hesitate to offer whatever help I can muster.  Sometimes I wish I could do more, especially for our community and our country.  Regardless...I like to help. Maybe it's my own journey that I have taken that has lead me to where I am today? 

It struck me earlier today that in the last few years, since I have bought my home, I have been "that helper" to friends in need when the time arose.  I never in my life thought I'd have the life that I have.  I sometimes wish I could afford to do more but alas, that is not the case.  However, the idea of "being that friend" who helps her peeps when they are in a last minute pickle might be one reason that I am here on this planet of ours.  Perhaps that is in the least, one purpose as to why I am here.

I helped one of my very special peeps and provided some housing after a sudden illness when she and her son was out camping.  I did not have a guest bed yet, but a futon, a warm home and a hot shower.  It was the wee hours of the night and luckily when I was away from work.  I have also housed a friend who was mentally ill and needed a warm place to stay and food to eat.  Thankfully that was short lived but I could not bear the idea of my friend being so ill and sleeping in the woods.  I did what I could and I know he was grateful. 

I have housed another very special peep and coworker during our snow events as she is unable to get home when it does snow.  We have a wonderful time together, she's a great co-pilot as I am the one who drives us to work and we always have plenty of food and "adult beverages" available.  I love my snow events with her.  Really.  As stressful as driving in the snow can be, we really do have fun together.

The last two nights, I have helped another friend who needed a place to stay as she has had a bear enter her home the last two nights.  Yes...a bear.  Inside her home.  When she began to text me, I did not hesitate to tell her she can crash here until the proper authorities can do their thing and remove the bear from her property.  I know it's been stressful for her, my guest room is still clean and I had time away from work to be available.  Perfect timing?  Or is that a purpose?

Regardless, I am glad I am in a position that I can be "that person".  I can't do it all the time, especially with my work schedule but I do find it ironic that it always seems to happen when I am off work, which is a bonus.  Maybe that's the way it's supposed to be?  I don't know.

So maybe...I am a Helper.  It doesn't pay a whole helluva lot but the reward is fulfilling.  I think that's good enough don't you?  Until next time...elizinashe

Share Your Heart !

Yep, It's Monday

Which Door Do You Choose ?

Today has been a mixed bag.  After much rain and one beautiful day, the skies turned gray once again with the promise of more rain.  Ugh...

Today has been riddled with indecisiveness.  I was not in the mood to cook and although as much as I wanted to go to my watering hole for some social time, the impending college football game kept me at bay.  Food wise, nothing sounded good.  Or healthy.  However after a quick trip to my regular grocery for some basics, and the thought of an overpriced chicken pot pie, which I did buy anyway, I decided on a couple of slices of pizza-at another store.  I really need to do better food choice wise in my off time.  Sigh...

I had done some quick shoe shopping too earlier in the day as I am in desperate need of some new shoes.  I found a style that I really, really liked-however they did not have my size.  Which happens a lot.  And I mean like all. the. time.  Thus, why I hate shoe shopping.  And clothes.  I run into the same damn problem.  Go on line you say?  I did.  And found them I did.  But...upon closer inspection, they were not the exact style I thought they were.  Fuck.  And I can't cancel my order just yet.  Guess I'll find out if I really do like this style better or worse compared to what I saw earlier today.  Next week that is when they are delivered to my doorstep.  Or maybe it will be the following week.  Who knows.  Sigh...

It's just been a frustrating day in general.  It is Monday.  I'll blame it all on the day.  Or the weather.  Maybe hormones.  I don't know.  I just can't decide.  Until next time...elizinashe.

Hoping for a Better Days Ahead

Hello 2020 !

Fancy Drinks for 2020 !

Happy New Year! 

Well the New Year started off with quite a bang.  Literally.  Not so sure how great that is.  Keeping my fingers crossed that the coming months will be safe and sound.  But my expectations are more realistic. 

So what did you do on New Year's Eve?  Stay home or go out?  Did you stay up to "watch the ball drop"?  Did you get kissed? What did you do for New Year's Day?   Did you do a traditional New Year's day meal?  Or was it more of a bloody mary/hangover food kind of gig?  Football?  Or did you play outside?  Skiing? 

I took some time away from work after Christmas.  I've had about 11 days off at this point.  Tomorrow starts another leg of three nights and then I"m off again for the weekend.  Squee!  I have enjoyed every single inch of my time away from work.  I was way past due for extra time away.  I must remember to plan better and take more vacation time ~ but work...that's a whole other story. 

I've managed to replace my kitchen light fixture that I have hated so very much, rented a couple of movies, started to purge the closets and box up some junk that I really don't need with a plan for a very near future drop off to the Goodwill.  I even cleaned up the house a bit, played on my piano and started off 2020 with a night out with special friends and fun pictures.  I hope to have more nights like that this year.  It certainly was good for my soul.   I even bought myself a little Art piece that made me happy.  Now I want to pick up a couple of other Art pieces that I have desired for quite some time and add it to my wall.  I have a theme in mind...

Not a bad way to kick off the new decade don't ya think?  When I reflect on what the last ten years of my life, well...it sure has been a long, long journey.  Wow...what a long strange trip it's been.  Wonder what the next ten years has in store for me.  Until next time...elizinashe

Keep Shining !