Ah, the Holidays

I have a love/hate relationship with the holidays. I'm sure it's quite normal but it puts me in such a funk every year that I have a hard time shaking it off. You think with years of experience that I'd be used to it by now, but no, it gets me every time. What the hell?? Is there some holiday diagnosis disorder that I'm not aware of? And why do I get so bah-humbug as the events come closer? I truly love having some decorations around the house, something sparkly and festive, sending happy cards and picking out fun gifts for my family and friends and sending gifts out to all my girls who have babies of their own, but when it comes closer to stopping and spending the quality time with my parents and what feels the exaggerated effort to make that time a happy one is what stresses me out. Now, we all have our baggage when it comes to family stuff but I have very little back-up on my side and it just feels uncomfortable. I sometimes wish I could hang out with someone else's family. Be a part of something different.

Don't get me wrong, I am damn lucky to have what I have. I had a pretty good childhood but as time went on the family harmony became strained and there was not much communication(or support I feel). We just kinda went our separate ways, so it's like we don't know how to be a family anymore. I just dread it sometimes. I suppose it could be alot worse. I know it could. But I just can't help the way I feel and I can't help feeling alone and unsupported. I know my parents support me in many ways but there is also alot of fear for me on their part because 'something might happen to me' and then that would just break their heart. Trust me, you might think that I'm exaggerating on this quip but I have heard it for myself many years ago. Yeah, there's no guilt there placed on my shoulders or anything...geeze, does it get any better?? Suggestions anyone? Just asking..I needed to bitch and whine. Hope everyone has a really good holiday. elizinashe

Pulling the All-Nighter

It's been a long time since I've stayed up all night with little rest. I wish I could say it's from travel or having a really long girls night but this time it's work related. Things on the unit are a little intense and staffing has become an issue. Due to a lack of insight and bad communication from our charge nurse today, I left the unit around 730 this evening after being here 12 hours already only to come back at 11 tonight so I can monitor a patient all night long. Yes folks, these things happen and I will be running on adrenaline and caffeine for most of the shift. Good thing is that I am working with a really good nurse tonight and we will have one other staff member in our presence so we should be able to trade off duties and look out for each other. And if things get "emergent" I know that I have some solid staff members to work with. These things don't happen very often, but they do happen. Good thing is that I was able to take a nice, hot shower at home, change my clothes from the business-casual khaki pants into a tried-and true pair of blue jeans and a sweater. Comfort clothes.(yum.) If I'm going to be up all night then I am for sure going to be comfortable. I don't think I could have worn those work clothes for another 8 hours...no way man, not this girl. And the bonus will be the hard-core solid sleep once I do get home Monday morning when most people are just starting their day. It's been a totally different lifestyle working here at the hospital but I kinda like it. I think I'll stick with it for a while even if I do work really weird hours. elizinashe

I'm in Love...

I have fallen in love...I have been sucked into a new tv show which is so refreshing and whimsical that I just cannot wait until the next episode. And the main character Ned, aka The Pie Maker, is easy on the eyes in a geeky Adrian Brody sort of way as one of my girlfriends had said as we were discussing our 'must-see' tv shows that we escape to watch every week. I am totally smitten with Pushing Daisies. I highly recommend it for your viewing pleasure. It's clever, full of color and tastefully done. ( It really reminds me of a Tim Burton flick. ) Quirky characters, strangely romantic and lots of bold colors in an odd world. It's a wonderful escape from the everyday crap that we live with and the other mindless tv dramedies-slash-reality shows that have populated the networks. And I have developed a serious crush on the leading man...I feel like I'm twelve again. When I grow up I want to marry him. He's just lovely...I can't help myself. I'm in love with The Pie Maker...so sue me. elizinashe :)

Happy Halloween

Happy Halloween Ya'll!

October is one of my favorite months. There is a slow calm that settles as fall approaches. The weather starts to turn cooler, the leaves start to change and the urge to stay home in your ugly clothes with a thick pair of fuzzy socks cooking a big fat homey meal sounds alot better than going out on the town. I love this time of year. A nice glass of wine, a plateful of food and a good movie on the couch is time well spent. I sooo appreciate a night like that. October has been a really busy month for me so far and I'm stressed out to the max. Being able to be quiet at home is the cat's meow for me. And as I rush here and there for work, school, vehicle maintenance, household items, banking and so on, I am blessed to be surrounded by the mountains and see a wonderful palate of colors as my day begins, the sun breaking through the morning fog, traces of yellow and gold in the trees, and a quiet harvest moon in the night sky speckled with twinkly stars that just seem to invite you to stop and breathe deeply and relax. Yeah, this has been a really busy time for me right now but when I step outside to start my daily endeavor, I begin to calm down and let nature take over. I thank God everyday for this time of year. I hope your corner of the world is just as nurturing as is mine. elizinashe

More Internet Wonders

I have come across some more interesting internet treasures. Once again it's nature and humans. First, we have a two headed turtle. How cool is that? And perfectly timed for the Halloween season. oooooo! I wonder if there are other body parts that are doubled inside that shell....or perhaps some missing parts...(ouch!). Can you apply the quip 'two heads are better than one' to this occasion? Just a thought.

And yet again, the other tidbit is in regards to babies. Only one this time but instead of 17 children it's a 17lb baby. Yes, 17 pounds!! That's quite a baby!! I think the baby was born in Siberia which leads me to question what in the hell do the Siberians eat out there? It's my understanding that it is a very cold and desolate place. Hard to live in that kind of environment. So how is it possible to pack on a baby that large? Perhaps it was all the vodka that has bloated the newborn that made it weigh so heavily. Again, just a thought. Have a good weekend! elizinashe

Computer Skills vs. Creativity Skills

So my computer class is a real thorn in my side because it takes me forever to do the practise exercises and homework. I don't know how I screw it up so bad. I follow the directions in the practise stuff like I am supposed to and then go on to the homework that we have to turn in. It's always screwy but it gets done. Our unit project for this week is a newsletter with columns, four different stories with different headings, an ad and all the whistles and bells with eye catching colors. I may fuck it all up pretty well but at least I can make up some ridiculous stories and ads just to entertain my frustrations. If I'm clever enough perhaps I can figure out how to post my 'newsletter' so that my readers can have a good laugh. I do think it will be a good one. Too bad we don't get brownie points for silliness. elizinashe

News Flash

Scientists have discovered a new species swimming about the Bay area this past June. This is the first major sighting of this creature in waters so close to the American coast. Scientists have appropriately named this new species Suckaboobiehydrazoa. This is the only known photo in existence although there have been other sightings by biology students and boat guides. This new species is quite aloof and hard to capture on film, making it more than a challenge to marine biologists to capture the nature of this creature in its natural habitat.

Biologists theorize that this creature has existed for hundreds of years swimming close to the ocean floor, migrating from chilly waters to warmer weather in search of food and reproduction. Scientitsts hope after the winter months pass that this magnificent new creature will again make an appearance in the warm California waters making it's way back home, wherever that may be...Kit Litter for inane press. August 8, 2007

elizinashe