Aimlessly Mindless...

Let's Gather For a Feast

How you doing out there?  How often do you get out and about?  Compared to our previous lives before the Corona.  How's your mentality?

Staying at home in my off time is getting old.  Not that I would schedule many escapades anyway prior to the COVID 19, BUT...not being able to go shop like I want to, like I need to, is a real bummer.  I had plans dammit.  I was going to pick up some local art.  Look for a real couch.  Go to a concert.  Check out the new art museum.  And now...it's the grocery store and at least once a week I will pick up some take out from my local watering hole.  Dang I wish we could get to a point where I could have a pint while I wait.  I can sit outside and social distance.  Sigh...not that I need an excuse to drink more than I already have been.  I did a bit much last night.  Oops!  So easy to do...

Funny how a pandemic has cornered us into actually talking to friends and family again.  Like the old days...I find that many of us are actually making a more concerted effort to checking in with our peeps.  And our family.  Shouldn't we have been doing that anyway?  How did we stray away from those phone calls where we actually talk and catch up about our lives?  When did we stop connecting? 

I managed a play date with a friend last week.  Jesus did that feel good!  We took a walk around the woods and then put on some T Rex outfits and danced around in the yard.  AND we got to hug without the fear of getting the COVID.  haha..I mean, I'd hug her anyway at this point but putting on some silly outfits and playing around was totally worth it.  I see another play date in the future. 

This crisis is far from over.  But I hope it's beginning to wane.  I need to get out and see people again.  I have a bucket list of things to tackle all which include businesses that are currently closed because of State orders.  And I'm tired of living in fear.  I refuse to let those anxieties plant roots in my brain.  I'm over it.  Aren't you? 

In the meantime, stay safe, call your peeps, get ready to bust out because that day will come very soon.  I have to have faith in that.  And when that day comes it will be a most glorious moment that will be hard to forget.  I think we all can agree on that.  Until next time...elizinashe

We Will Prevail

A Different Kind of Wednesday

Pretty Powerful Don't Ya Think ?

Happy Spring Y'all! 

It's official, the pollen has descended.  And all over my car.  It's supposed to rain tonight, so maybe that will help.  I'm too chicken to wash my car and touch the wand, although I do have gloves I could wear.  And yes, we have some automatic car washes but being that I have a nice sized "nic" in my winshield from a very large pebble that came flying out of nowhere,  I'm again too chicken to go through an automatic wash out of fear that the washing device might make that hole a bit bigger.  And yes, I've used a self sealing kit to cement it and keep it from spreading.  It's been over a year now so I guess I'm safe.  Fingers crossed. 

So I made it to the store and back without much trouble.  I've worn a mask the last two times I've gone.  I"m pretty scared of this Covid shit.  And being that I already work in a hospital I want to take extra precautions for my own health.  I'm slightly compromised, I've already been a bit puny due to allergies, intermittent sore throat and just in general anxious.  I miss my bar...I miss having the freedom to join my peers for a beer and a snack.  Especially now that the weather is nicer and the local breweries have wide open spaces.  However, they too are closed.  Sad.

So here I sit, listening to the Rolling Stones typing away.  I've finished a present for a friend's birthday, got some chicken ready so I can do a stir fry, cleared up my crafty mess and cleaned up the kitchen table-mostly.  I still have some clutter but that's normal for me.  Maybe I'll find the skills to keep it completely clean, I don't know...I'm feeling a bit rebellious today.  haha

If I did not have this thing I think I'd be pulling my hair out.  I'm glad it's here.  I'm glad I started it.  There's only so much social media that I can take and forget the news.  I have to walk away.  Especially when the dumbfuck begins to speak.  He's just a horrible human in all aspects.  And I will leave it at that.  Karma will come for him. 

In the meantime, I hope those of you who maybe reading this are safe and well.  I hope you find the time to find something good in your day wherever you may be.  I hope these crazy times ends soon.  And never, ever do I hope that it returns.  I hope we can return to a time that we can hug and kiss one another very soon.  Don't you?  Until next time...elizinashe

Keep the Faith

Here We Go !

Getting My Crafty On !

So how's the self quarantine going?  Eating more?  Drinking?  Getting too high perhaps?  Face Time?  Learning about this thing called Zoom?

I am considered an "essential worker".  Duh...I'm a nurse.  Our COVID cases are rising in my county, and surrounding counties as well.  We've already had our first death related to the Corona virus.  I expect more to come.  Some say that we are two weeks behind NYC.  We have yet to peak.  I know that to be true.  Sigh...it's frightening for sure.

In my short time off from working the weekend, I have made one trip to the grocery store.  I was lucky to find what I needed.  And then what I didn't need aka ice cream.  haha...Might as well, right? 

So far I've been lucky I guess.  My patients have been healthy so far.  Visitors have been restricted.  With very few exceptions.  Rumor has it that we will now be screened for a fever before walking into the building.  That should have happened two weeks ago.  And that we are now required to wear masks.  And that should have happened two weeks ago as well.  And nope...no N95s.  There's just not enough to go around. 

Today hasn't been too bad.  I did some crafty things, posted some pictures, made a nice dinner and knocked out some laundry since I return to work tomorrow.  I must say today has been a lot better than my previous time away from work.  Way too much time to think about all that's going on and allowing my fears to plant roots in my head.  Not today Satan.  I just can't continue to live that way. 

So in the meantime, look for the little things.  Limit your news time.  Limit the social media paranoia.  Limit your distance.  Play some music, do some writing, start something creative.  Sit outside, maybe a nice drive in the country.  Break away from the walls of our stressful minds.  It's been an overload lately and I've had my fill.  This is far from over but I am learning ways to cope in more distracting ways that are more beneficial than the alternative.  Except the wine...can you blame me?  Keep the Faith guys.  And as always, be safe.  Until next time...elizinashe. 

Take Time for Yourself !

Sitting in Silence

Embrace the Quiet

Good Morning-at least it's morning to me.

It's a different kind of Sunday.  Quiet, cool, calm...the birds are chirping, the neighborhood is holed up.  The Air BnB's have cleared out.  It all seems pretty peaceful but there is a sadness in the air too. 

Our mountain town is surviving.  Our local restaurants are closed to the public.  Take out only if they are able to offer that.  Hotels empty.  People have cancelled.  And smartly so.  Our service industry people are hurting.  Our healthcare workers are worried.  Not enough supplies to go around.  There's a shortage everywhere, nation wide.  And we have our first confirmed case in our own county as of yesterday.  Two other neighboring counties have confirmed cases as of last week.  And more on the way.  Rumor has it that two of our hospital floors are filled with presumptive Corona patients.  Where are they going to put the rest? 

Never in my life would I have expected to see such a demise.  I thought the 2016 campaign was a nightmare.  I thought the last four years was unbelievable.  Now...I have no words.  I have much anger and fear.  I must have hope.  I must have faith.  I must have patience.  I must...

Even without the pandemic, I had no real plans today.  My local hangout is closed, doing take out.  So no bar fly camaraderie for me.  No local beer to sip while we share stories and bitch about whatever is on our minds.  I worry about my local watering hole.  It's been an anchor of support for me and I hope the business survives this mess.  I hope all of our local business's survive this mess as we have many wonderful eateries.  It's going to be a difficult journey.  I wonder how other countries survive their pandemics.  How did they make it? 

I hope your Sunday is peaceful.  I hope you take some time to sit in Silence and absorb the sights and surroundings around you.  There is comfort to find in all of this.  I have to believe in that.  The Sun will still shine, the flowers will pop out and the trees will still house the creatures around us.  Look for the little things.  It's the only thing we can bank on.  Until next time...elizinashe

More of This Please

Are You Ready ?

It Won't Come to This

So this Covid thing...

The media coverage is getting a bit much.  BUT, as a nurse I think it's important to be very aware and take precautions.  Do we need to panic?  No, not really.  BUT, as our scientists are madly working to figure this thing out it's important to listen.  I expect it to continue to wreak havoc in our country like we have seen in China, Italy and all across the globe.  It's even made it's way to "down under" in Australia as evidenced by Tom Hanks and his wife Rita Wilson.

Remember, viruses are birthed, grow, replicate and become stronger and stronger over time.  That's how Mother Nature works.  Survival of the Fittest.  Science is real.  And this particular strain has now figured out how to form a second strain.  It's a lot of DNA and RNA replication stuff that's too difficult to explain here but those of you who are the nerdy type will know what I'm talking about.  Yes...it's a mess. 

What's more frustrating for me is that our President Elect eliminated researchers, scientists and programs within the CDC who were well knowledged in such matters and even had warned him of a possible pandemic like we are seeing now is highly possible and we, as a country need to form a plan and protocol to keep in place.  He fired them and cut funding.  That was two years ago.  Now we have wide spread chaos.  Have you seen the pictures and videos from the Chicago O'Hare airport with the international passengers coming back home waiting to be "screened" ?  It's quite horrific.  I can't even imagine the pandemonium.  Not to mention we first got word about this Corona back in January.  Right around the time I flew up to Baltimore.  Large airport, masses of people.  It was on my mind then.  But our jackass of a leader waits two months to actually do something.  And now we are playing catch up.  Which rarely is successful. 

It all makes me so angry.  We could have done better.  We could have been prepared.  But our elected leaders fucked us up.  And I expect billions of dollars to be lost.  And our deficit to hit rock bottom because all those who have lost money will want some sort of federal bailout.  All from a virus. 

In the meantime, don't freak.  Take care of yourself.  Why do we need reminders to wash your hands?  When did we stop?  Spring is on the way.  Sunshine and happier days ahead!  This too shall pass.  Until next time...elizinashe

More of This Please !

Tomorrow Is Another Day

Question Is...When Do I Begin ?

Ah...Procrastination....I know who you are.  All too well.

How much do you procrastinate?  Or do you knock out your "to do" list every week?  Every day?  Always?  Or are you the last minute crunch kind of guy, running on adrenaline?  Like the rush do you?

I know I've written about this before.  Perhaps quite a few times.  It's a thing that haunts me.  Along with other things.  But alas...I procrastinate.  And then when I need to get things done it stresses me out because I waited too long.  I wish I were better at planning ahead.  Have no fear folks, I'm not in a complete bind.  Just fallen behind on the responsible duties which never ends.  But still...I'm a bit stressed. 

I read some time ago that the reason we procrastinate is because the task at hand is not a pleasant one.  A task or responsibilities that don't bring us satisfaction.  Or pleasure.  We procrastinate because it's associated with something negative, perhaps painful.  Or stressful.  PTSD maybe?  I'm not sure...but I know in my case I procrastinate because...well...for many reasons.  I guess it depends on the task.  Like cleaning.  Especially the bathroom.  Yuk.  Kitchen table?  It's a mess.  Car repairs?  I need a ride.  And if I have to leave my car for a day or two for the said repairs....then I'm screwed.  I need my wheels.  Work always returns.  That box I've been meaning to ship for the last three months?  Sigh...at least it's not time sensitive. 

So do you procrastinate?  How often?  And what do you procrastinate about?  What's your excuse?  Curious minds want to know...until next time...elizinashe.

Yep. 

It's One of Those Nights

Starry Starry Night

I'm coming off of a long stretch of work.  It's nice that I don't have to go back until next week.  I need the break.  I keep telling myself I should pick up an extra shift like I used to, or at least a half shift.  I'm not desperate for the money but it sure does help.  Plus, I need things.  Like a new couch.  But alas....I just can't bring myself to do it.  I need my time away.

I'm tired and a bit achy.  I know I'm fighting a bit of a head cold too, but I just can't fall asleep yet.  My mind is too busy.  I've got a few worries swirling in my head and it's difficult to filter out.  I have lots of "catching up" to do house wise, food wise, laundry and bed linen wise and oh...I think there is something wrong with my car.  Great timing, eh?

I know it will get done.  At least the majority of it but all that is swirling in my head too.  Sometimes I really hate tackling all of this shit called Life by myself.  And I'm afraid it will always be that way.  I really don't have much hope for a solid or lasting relationship.  Not that I need one to complete my existence or make me "feel whole" but it sure does suck not having an extra anchor if you know what I mean. 

So here I sit, typing away...snacking on a breakfast bowl and a glass of wine because that sounded like a good idea for a slightly hungry belly and perhaps a segue to induce sleep.  It really doesn't matter that I'm up this late.  What duties I need to accomplish tomorrow really doesn't have a timeline.  As long as I am home by dark.  My night vision isn't so great and I really hate driving when it's really dark.  Ahh...the joys of aging.  Amongst other things.  And so you have it my readers, whoever you may be.  A restless, worried mind in the wee hours before dawn.  Sometimes I think I will always be this way.  And if that's the case, then so be it.  As long as I have this gig I think I'll be okay.  Until next time...elizinashe.

I Need to Practice This More