A Difficult Day

Feeling A Lot Like This

I had my meltdown this evening.  I'm still recovering.  Don't freak~ I'm safe and at home.  It's just super hard being single sometimes and I've just about had my fill of it. 

My last three nights at work were more than challenging.  I've had a sudden car issue which stresses me out.  I had to leave it at work this AM as it would not "turn over".  And no, it's not a battery issue.  Sounded more like a starter issue or something more electrical and expensive. 

I handled it all fairly well.  I took my first Uber ever.  I was thankful that the driver was literally five minutes away.  I was able to get home safe and sound.  I was more than anxious to get out of the hospital environment and into my messy home so I could feel more grounded. 

However, earlier this evening was not so fun.  I broke down and had a very long and hard cry.  Don't get me wrong folks, I'm really not that emotional or one of those "hysterical women".  But tonight, it all just "hit me" and I was overcome, overwhelmed and overly frustrated.  Utterly helpless and at the mercy of not being able to any damn thing about it like I wanted.  It's Sunday~ my attempts to retrieve car, get a tow, drop it off at mechanic and begin the process of alleviating my predicament utterly failed.  And remember, I have good friends and good neighbors but in essence, it's just me.  No other person in the home, family members scattered all across the map, no "ex", no second vehicle.  All I have is the ashes of two dead cats.  Being single sucks. 

I don't regret crying.  I needed it.  Truly.  It's all just hard and with the holidays....well...I think we all can agree that the holiday rustle and bustle can be stressful.  I don't even have that "holiday cheer" this season.  I'll do good if I get a few cards sent out this year.  And that's okay. 

I'm still a little tearful.  Guess I still have some bugs in my soul that need to be exterminated.  I need a good day tomorrow.  I need luck on my side.  I need to get my car to my mechanic.  And I need to get to the grocery store.  Orchestrating the said tasks will take some work.  And time management.  God...I do hope it all works out.  I just can't handle much more.  Wish me luck folks.  I need all the good ju-ju sent my way. For real.  Until next time...elizinashe

Hoping for More of This