Dammitt

 Damn you grief!  Damn you!  

You come out of nowhere...like a rock in your windshield while your driving. 

It's been one year since my mother left this Earth.  And as I try to lie down and get some sleep, before plans for a deck garden and a hike for the morning it all hits me.  As I lie in bed and my mind begins to race.  Oh Hell...does it hurt. 

It is late.  And my peoples are asleep.  Although I know if I call them, they would be here, but I just can't.  I will tell them tomorrow.  Sometimes as much as how you want to someone to be with you at these times, there are moments when it's best you are alone, even if you don't want to be alone in this moment-BUT it's good to get it all out and then share and get that support after the fact.  Does that make sense? 

 

I am tired.  I have cried every tear.  I am more calm.  My cat woke out of his slumber and was very curious as to why his human was making noise.  It is cool and quiet out my way.  And I type with swollen and tired eyes....to get all this stuff out of my mind and soul.  And this is a good thing  I know that.  

 

Oh I am so thankful for this thing called a Blog.  It has helped me more than you know.  Even with the silly things...but tonight...wow...I have no words.  Next time will be more joyful.  Thanks for being here.  Until next time...elizinashe

Time Flies By Quickly

 It was one year ago this week that things happened with my mom and her eventual and quick passing on to her next adventure.  As I liked to call it. 

Lots of emotions, lots of thinking.  Lots of hope.  Lots of unrest.  It a lot of " a lot" .  

I'm taking it slow, especially today.  We've got a nice rain shower which is greatly needed and a welcomed relief.  It makes a lazy day more relaxing.  Which is something I totally need. 

No, I'm not here to tell you to go and hug everyone you know, tell them that you love them and all that jazz as we all know our time is limited.  We shouldn't have to dwell on that.  You know what I"m talking about.  Yes, love on your people, but take time for you too regardless of what is going on in your life.  I think that is just as important.  

I look forward to a quiet afternoon, remembering my mom and hopefully without a breakdown.  But that is allowed too if I need to unload.  I sure as Hell have done plenty of that, and it's gut wrenching for me to be perfectly honest.  I'm sure I am not the only one who has felt that way.  

I have support.  I have this thing.  I have really good friends and my father is well and still able to live independently at his age and far from what I have called my home.  I know that too will change at some point but hopefully not for a very long time.  

I hope you enjoy your Memorial Day Weekend.  I'm just gonna take it slow.  And I know my mom would be totally okay with that.  Until next time...elizinashe

Happy Hump Day !

I Spy a Heart  in the Clouds !

 It's a lovely lazy Wednesday.  It's back to work for me this weekend, but first I have company coming for a one night visit as he is on his way to Atlanta for work.  It should be a good evening. 

The flowers are really popping out, as well as the trees.  So much green.  And so much pollen.  Achoo!  All day long.  Good thing I have plenty of Kleenex.  

It's almost been one year since my mom has passed.  Not sure how it's all gonna hit me.  Mother's Day weekend was a bit tearful.   But I had good support.  And I am thankful for that. 

My fella has dug up some of my mother's hostas and they will soon be planted by the side of my house.  He really wanted me to have a piece of my mom's garden in my own home.  So she will always be with me.  Hopefully they will flourish here.  My thumb is not that green.  Wish me luck!  

I also have a big vase of some of mom's rhododendron blooms.  Mom sure did have a lot of them!  And her rhodie bushes are huge!  They have really thrived in her neck of the woods.  And some day, and hopefully soon, someone else will have the pleasure of living there and watching all the plants and flowers pop out every Spring and Summer.  What a blessing. 

Hope your Hump Day is a happy one.  Until next time...elizinashe. 

Happy Spring !

 

Rainy Days and Mondays

Seems Like a Good Day to Write

 No, I'm not down.  I'm actually pretty happy.  After battling the rain showers with the grocery run, I'm at home listening to music and just being present.  I could be really productive and do some cleaning.  I could be really, really productive and clear out my closet, but I digress...I need a do nothing day and enjoy a nice lazy, rainy Monday.

Dinner plans this evening with my fella.  Yep, you've read that right.  I've got a guy. And Lord knows this is something I had never expected.  Life sure does throw some nice surprises out your way when you least expect it.  And I will certainly hold on to this surprise as long as I can.  Maybe forever.  Hopefully forever.  Yep, you read that right too.  Sheesh!  

The birds are singing, the flowers are popping out and the pollen has been washed away.  At least for a little while.  Achoo!  It's too nice of an afternoon to take a nap.  Although I totally could, but I don't want to waste any time today.  Maybe I'll go through some stories my mom has written.  And maybe not.  It will be one year that I lost my mom at the end of this month.  Sure does go by quick.  Where did all that time go?  

In the meantime, I hope your Monday is a peaceful one.  Make it count.  Until next time...elizinashe

Let Yourself Pop and Bloom !

I'm Still Here

 My, my it's been a while.  

 

Dancing Nancies

Spring has sprung and so has my allergies.  Achoo!  But the Spring season does bring much renewal and joy which is something we all could use especially after the train wreck that was 2020.  Anyone with me on that?  

 

Life has kept me busy and running in circles but mostly in a good way.  I still have some struggling days and troublesome nights but I have survived thus far and I will continue to do so.  As much as I want to give up and ignore responsibilities I just can't do it.  I wasn't raised that way.  

 

I'm still chipping away at clearing out my mother's house around my crazy work schedule.  It's a hardship for sure, but there will be light at the end of the tunnel, right?  God I hope so.  

 

In the meantime, I will do my best to write and create more often, as I have really missed doing things such as this, that make me happy.  I've got the itch to bust out the crafty paper and glue and make a mess.  One day soon.  Very soon.  Thanks for reading.  I hope your Spring season has been a time of happiness.  Until next time...elizinashe 

I Really Dig This !