Dammitt

 Damn you grief!  Damn you!  

You come out of nowhere...like a rock in your windshield while your driving. 

It's been one year since my mother left this Earth.  And as I try to lie down and get some sleep, before plans for a deck garden and a hike for the morning it all hits me.  As I lie in bed and my mind begins to race.  Oh Hell...does it hurt. 

It is late.  And my peoples are asleep.  Although I know if I call them, they would be here, but I just can't.  I will tell them tomorrow.  Sometimes as much as how you want to someone to be with you at these times, there are moments when it's best you are alone, even if you don't want to be alone in this moment-BUT it's good to get it all out and then share and get that support after the fact.  Does that make sense? 

 

I am tired.  I have cried every tear.  I am more calm.  My cat woke out of his slumber and was very curious as to why his human was making noise.  It is cool and quiet out my way.  And I type with swollen and tired eyes....to get all this stuff out of my mind and soul.  And this is a good thing  I know that.  

 

Oh I am so thankful for this thing called a Blog.  It has helped me more than you know.  Even with the silly things...but tonight...wow...I have no words.  Next time will be more joyful.  Thanks for being here.  Until next time...elizinashe