Yep, It's Monday

Which Door Do You Choose ?

Today has been a mixed bag.  After much rain and one beautiful day, the skies turned gray once again with the promise of more rain.  Ugh...

Today has been riddled with indecisiveness.  I was not in the mood to cook and although as much as I wanted to go to my watering hole for some social time, the impending college football game kept me at bay.  Food wise, nothing sounded good.  Or healthy.  However after a quick trip to my regular grocery for some basics, and the thought of an overpriced chicken pot pie, which I did buy anyway, I decided on a couple of slices of pizza-at another store.  I really need to do better food choice wise in my off time.  Sigh...

I had done some quick shoe shopping too earlier in the day as I am in desperate need of some new shoes.  I found a style that I really, really liked-however they did not have my size.  Which happens a lot.  And I mean like all. the. time.  Thus, why I hate shoe shopping.  And clothes.  I run into the same damn problem.  Go on line you say?  I did.  And found them I did.  But...upon closer inspection, they were not the exact style I thought they were.  Fuck.  And I can't cancel my order just yet.  Guess I'll find out if I really do like this style better or worse compared to what I saw earlier today.  Next week that is when they are delivered to my doorstep.  Or maybe it will be the following week.  Who knows.  Sigh...

It's just been a frustrating day in general.  It is Monday.  I'll blame it all on the day.  Or the weather.  Maybe hormones.  I don't know.  I just can't decide.  Until next time...elizinashe.

Hoping for a Better Days Ahead

Hello 2020 !

Fancy Drinks for 2020 !

Happy New Year! 

Well the New Year started off with quite a bang.  Literally.  Not so sure how great that is.  Keeping my fingers crossed that the coming months will be safe and sound.  But my expectations are more realistic. 

So what did you do on New Year's Eve?  Stay home or go out?  Did you stay up to "watch the ball drop"?  Did you get kissed? What did you do for New Year's Day?   Did you do a traditional New Year's day meal?  Or was it more of a bloody mary/hangover food kind of gig?  Football?  Or did you play outside?  Skiing? 

I took some time away from work after Christmas.  I've had about 11 days off at this point.  Tomorrow starts another leg of three nights and then I"m off again for the weekend.  Squee!  I have enjoyed every single inch of my time away from work.  I was way past due for extra time away.  I must remember to plan better and take more vacation time ~ but work...that's a whole other story. 

I've managed to replace my kitchen light fixture that I have hated so very much, rented a couple of movies, started to purge the closets and box up some junk that I really don't need with a plan for a very near future drop off to the Goodwill.  I even cleaned up the house a bit, played on my piano and started off 2020 with a night out with special friends and fun pictures.  I hope to have more nights like that this year.  It certainly was good for my soul.   I even bought myself a little Art piece that made me happy.  Now I want to pick up a couple of other Art pieces that I have desired for quite some time and add it to my wall.  I have a theme in mind...

Not a bad way to kick off the new decade don't ya think?  When I reflect on what the last ten years of my life, well...it sure has been a long, long journey.  Wow...what a long strange trip it's been.  Wonder what the next ten years has in store for me.  Until next time...elizinashe

Keep Shining !

Are You Ready ?

Happy New Year !

Christmas is over and the New Year is fast upon us.  Got plans?  Staying home or going out?  How do you celebrate?  Made those resolutions yet?  Goals?  Got booze? 

I typically don't do so much.  Last year I did go out with some friends and we were all home before "the ball dropped".  That was a fun night.  This year...well...no real big plans.  And that's okay.  I'm actually looking forward to being quiet and ringing in the New Year with the Hope that we will all continue to move forward, join in festivities with loved ones and never worry about paying the bills.  Because we all know, some are not so fortunate.  Many will struggle. 

As I write this, two of my co-workers are battling a brand new cancer diagnosis.  A friend from the past is also battling a cancer diagnosis.  My cousin's wife is battling cancer herself.  My parents are aging, friends who are traveling, family friends who are becoming more sickly in their aging years and a workplace that is well...many things.  And that's putting it mildly.  Life ain't always fair.  Sometimes it makes me fearful of my own future. 

Our country is hatefully divided.  And unjustly so.  There are many layers to that issue to which I will leave to another post.  In short, don't believe everything you see on the Internet, or on social media.  As always, check your facts and be open to discussion.  I hope to God that we find a way to heal.  It's the only way to move forward.

As for me, this year has been quite a roller coaster.  I've had a lot of adventures and lots of stress.  Sometimes it's been a real struggle.  Other times it's been a bit easy.  My Hope is that I will sail through the coming year with a clear mind and a forgiving heart.  It's been hard folks.  And as "optimistic" and possibly naively so that I know I can be, I know I will still have struggles.  I just hope I can handle them better than I believe myself to be.  It just doesn't help to wallow in your self criticism.  Nor the anger of your past. 

So back to my original point, that is if I really had one-haha...I just started to write and let it all flow.  Maybe that's a good thing.  So..are you ready for the New Year?  Goals?  Plans?  Resolutions?  What changes do you want for yourself for the New Year?  Tell me your Hopes for the coming year~ maybe we all should share our hopes together.  That can't be a bad thing don't ya think?  Until next time...elizinashe

Let Your Heart Shine

Getting It Done

Don't Ya Love Him? 

Christmas is quickly approaching.  I'm done with shopping.  I'm over it.  I like to keep it simple anyway.  Who needs a bunch of crap anyway? 

I've got two boxes to ship, a few cards to finish and food to prep.  I will be working during the holidays and our food choices will be limited.  No delivery either~they too will be closed.  And as much as I like to treat others, I just cannot bring a bunch of food or baked goods for my co-workers.  It's too much to attempt to feed the masses.  Maybe one day.

It's a calm, rainy night.  I'm a bit restless and I know it will be some time before I get tired enough to go to bed.  Ugh.  Night shifter struggles.  At least I'm off.  If I can hammer out the next leg of tasks tomorrow before the temperatures drop I'll be fine.  No bad weather here, or yet, but it sure does make you want to stay at home and under a blanket. 

The holidays sure can be frustrating.  The hustle and bustle of it all really stresses me out.  I just want to move through it.  I bailed on a Christmas party tonight, simply because I needed to be at home and feel grounded.  I just wasn't feeling that festive nor did I want to be around a crowd of people, even though I love spending social time with the other attendees, I just couldn't do it.  And I have no regrets about it.  Again, self care...

So for you my readers, I hope your Christmas is a joyous occasion.  I hope it's stress free and is everything you wanted it to be.  And more.  I hope the New Year brings you much love and new adventures.  I hope that 2020 is a healing year.  I think we all could use a bit of that don't ya think?  Until next time...elizinashe

Bon Appetite ! 

Recovery

😋 A Little Cup of Love 😋

You remember the post about "Self Care"?  Did you read it?  Do you practice "self care'?  When was the last time you took time just for you? 

My previous post was a real dialogue. I truly had a meltdown.  Again, I'm good.  I am safe.  It's so important to ask such things to your peeps, or even a stranger these days.  Really and truly. But I'm good.  For real.

Regardless, I've got the kinks worked out.  I took time off tonight away from work so I can regroup.  I gave them 24 hours notice so management could find coverage as I work on a very difficult unit.  And I had no guilt about it.  I had zero guilt about missing work and taking time for me although I could have made it work.  But when it came down to it, I know I just wasn't ready.  I needed time to heal from the previous days.  It was all just too much. 

I am forever grateful to good friends who helped me yesterday afternoon.  I am grateful to my mechanic who always does me right and has done so for 20 + years.  Even if he teases me and tells me my issue is nothing but  a "loose nut" behind the wheel on occasion .  Certainly not yesterday.  I am grateful to a manager reaching out to me to check in and see if I'm okay since I called out for "personal reasons".  Asked if there was anything she could do for me.  How many managers really do that for their employees?  Especially in this day and age. 

I am feeling more grounded.  I am healing.  I am still  learning that despite the circumstances, it will work out.  It takes some work sometimes, but it all "comes out in the wash" as they say.  I think we all could use that reminder don't you?  Until next time...elizinashe

💗 Don't Forget to Take Care of You 💗

A Difficult Day

Feeling A Lot Like This

I had my meltdown this evening.  I'm still recovering.  Don't freak~ I'm safe and at home.  It's just super hard being single sometimes and I've just about had my fill of it. 

My last three nights at work were more than challenging.  I've had a sudden car issue which stresses me out.  I had to leave it at work this AM as it would not "turn over".  And no, it's not a battery issue.  Sounded more like a starter issue or something more electrical and expensive. 

I handled it all fairly well.  I took my first Uber ever.  I was thankful that the driver was literally five minutes away.  I was able to get home safe and sound.  I was more than anxious to get out of the hospital environment and into my messy home so I could feel more grounded. 

However, earlier this evening was not so fun.  I broke down and had a very long and hard cry.  Don't get me wrong folks, I'm really not that emotional or one of those "hysterical women".  But tonight, it all just "hit me" and I was overcome, overwhelmed and overly frustrated.  Utterly helpless and at the mercy of not being able to any damn thing about it like I wanted.  It's Sunday~ my attempts to retrieve car, get a tow, drop it off at mechanic and begin the process of alleviating my predicament utterly failed.  And remember, I have good friends and good neighbors but in essence, it's just me.  No other person in the home, family members scattered all across the map, no "ex", no second vehicle.  All I have is the ashes of two dead cats.  Being single sucks. 

I don't regret crying.  I needed it.  Truly.  It's all just hard and with the holidays....well...I think we all can agree that the holiday rustle and bustle can be stressful.  I don't even have that "holiday cheer" this season.  I'll do good if I get a few cards sent out this year.  And that's okay. 

I'm still a little tearful.  Guess I still have some bugs in my soul that need to be exterminated.  I need a good day tomorrow.  I need luck on my side.  I need to get my car to my mechanic.  And I need to get to the grocery store.  Orchestrating the said tasks will take some work.  And time management.  God...I do hope it all works out.  I just can't handle much more.  Wish me luck folks.  I need all the good ju-ju sent my way. For real.  Until next time...elizinashe

Hoping for More of This

Restless Night, Windy Night

Busy Night Brain Tonight

It's a bit chilly down my way but certainly not as cold as it could be and I am quite thankful for that.  The winds have been blowing pretty much all day.  Glad I don't have any tall and scary trees around my home like my previous dwelling.  Sheesh!  That place sure could be nerve racking on windy nights. 

My mind is busy...I'm restless.  I'm tired but not tired.  I'm hungry but not hungry.  I should clean a bit more but I really don't have the motivation.  I hate it.  I wish I could afford a maid.  Christmas is coming and I know it will be here quick.  I'm madly trying to tighten things up.  I need to finish up dad' stuff and ship it off which will cost more than I want to spend.  Why does it cost so much to mail a box these days?  Ugh...

I have movies and shows on my bucket list that I'm pretty sure I can find on my Smart TV or on my Amazon account but I don't want to search for them yet.  I'm afraid I will lose patience in my search and then get bored.  I wish I were more savvy in with my Smart TV capabilities. 

My birthday came and went.  It was a lovely day and it was exactly what I needed and wanted so to speak.  Low key with some friends, shared some soup that I made with other eats and treats.  And I got to play with my friend's dog and that my readers always makes me happy.  I wish I had more time and resources to get one myself.  But alas, my working hours aren't so dog friendly.  Maybe one day...

I know the next few days will be quite busy as work beckons for a long stretch.  It's a love/hate relationship.  I just hope the units will be calm.  I can't stand so much chaos all the time especially around the holidays.  It just makes everything a little bit harder.  I look forward to finishing up my holiday treats, hopefully will succeed in getting some cards out and sail into the New Year on a relaxing note.  Hopefully the coming year will be more joyful and less stressful.  I think we all would welcome that don't ya think?  Until next time...elizinashe

Aiming for Some Peace