Survival and New Beginnings

What a long, long fall season it has been.  I survived yet another semester of nursing school and the holidays which have been peppered with beautiful days to nasty, rainy windy weather.  Luckily, I have had only one tree fall but there are still a few that could present with some danger.  I hope and pray that they stay upright until I can find another place to live as I have totally outgrown this little box and am very ready to move forward with my life in many ways.  

Money has been a constant worry and struggle this year.  I have fared well I suppose and have prayed hard for the right things to come my way.  Luckily, I was granted a small scholarship  from a professional ladies organization that one of my mother's friends belong to.  That was certainly a blessing.  Plus, I have received free federal money finally, (one which includes the NC State Lottery Education fund!) and some extra federal loans that I took out to keep me well cushioned.  A small sigh of relief I have.  Whew! 

The holiday break has given me much relief as I was about to lose my mind.  My house is finally cleaner than it has been in a very long time.  I might get one more good cleaning day done before school starts all over again therefore, the vacuum goes into hibernation.  I have had some really good sleep and very peaceful evenings.  Although I know some of our course content for the spring is already posted and I probably should look at it I just refuse to do so right now.  All I want to do is relax and get this little box of a home organized so I don't have to worry about it once I start back up.  I intend to thoroughly enjoy this break from school.  Many afternoon naps have been had and King Hecubus the Snaggletooth is very happy that he has me around to keep him warm as he likes to sleep right up in my face and stretch his paws up into my hair so they don't get cold.  Spoilage, I tell ya!  

So there ya go my readers!  I have just a few more things to cross out on my 'break from school' checklist and then I can start off my last semester with a clear mind.  I know for certain my little brain will be all confused and jumbled after that first day of orientation once class starts again.   I want to start off my New Year with all the good vibes I can get!  I will certainly need them to see me through this last hurdle.  Until then, it's time to do some cooking!  Woo hoo!  elizinashe

Where Did We Go Wrong?

The holidays are upon us.  The stores are geared up for magical displays with miles of needless crap in the isles, holidays sales ads have replaced political propaganda and local store hours are making the local news.  Apparently, Thanksgiving means a quick meal and then a dash to the local Wal-Mart for those fabulous holiday deals and then off to camp out at Target for the crack of dawn money saving extravaganzas.  

I find it disgusting that as a country that we place more value on material objects for the holidays vs. spending time with family and friends.  We have become so disconnected from our emotions that a new, shiny, super wide screen television says 'I love you' more as opposed to giving someone a good, long hug and saying those words verbally to that person.  Why would anyone want to leave their children in bed and rush out to the store in the wee hours of the morning after eating a big family meal only to get some stupid ass toy that won't mean a thing, other than materialism.  What are we teaching the next generation? 

I would be blessed to have children of my own but I don't.  And if I did have my own kids, I sure as hell wouldn't be going to the store to find the latest and greatest for my kid especially on Thanksgiving night or Black Friday.  That's just stupid. I would hope that my children would have similar values like myself and find more enjoyment with loved one as opposed to an object that could never give back any affection or create loving memories.  I place more value on spending time with my family, at least what's left of it, and my friends with good food, good wine and good music.  That's what's really important to me and that is one thing you will never find at the store!  elizinashe

Halloween Feeling Ick Like Haiku

On the couch eyes glazed
Body aches no more study
Zombie food I am



elizinashe

Happy Halloween Everyone!

Holy Cow Batman!

Oh geeze....here comes the mini-mester meltdown.  I thought the school related anxiety dreams had subsided, however now that the first mini-mester is coming to a close they are getting really intense and the over-thinking is in hyperdrive.  

My first day of clinical this term I saw a group of nursing students in the lobby of the hospital.  As I was looking more closely I was thinking to myself, 'hey those don't look like the second year students.'  And then it hit me. I am the second year student!  Yikes!  I have officially moved up in status.  However, that second year status has doubled the work, doubled the over-thinking and doubled the stress at this point.  The reading for class is all over the place and my notes are so dysfunctional that I don't even know how I am going to finish successfully.  I'm one step ahead if I know what day it is when I wake up in the morning.  

I have an ancillary test on Monday to which our practice tests that are on-line have been very difficult to find since the host website has changed its format and the said practice test is very hard to find.  I've taken it once and can't find it again to re-take for more practice.  Ugh!  We have a test on Thursday the 11th and our final for this mini-mester is on the following Monday the 15th.  We have a one day break and then it's off to the second leg of the fall mini-mester with orientation, then class after another class, then work all weekend and then what appears to be a clinical site almost an hour away from where I live.  Not looking forward to driving that far in the dark in the wee hours of the morning!  And then turn around to do that drive all over again the following day.  ARRGGGGG!!!!!  I was told at first, that I would be returning to a site that's literally five minutes away from my house.  Although I was not excited to return to that particular site, I'd much rather drive five minutes vs. an hour.  It certainly would save me in gas not to mention potential vehicle breakdowns to which I have already suffered.  Not happy about this folks! 

Oh geeze.....being a second year nursing student has it's perks that's for sure.  However, the on-coming weeks and the looming spring is really freaking me out.  I long for the day where I don't have to worry about this shit anymore, sleep as late as I want on my days off and not have to eat crap because I don't have time to cook.  Yee Gads!  I just want to get through this week.  That is all I am capable of at this point.  Can I please return to my girls' weekend because that certainly was a hell of a lot more fun!  Sheesh!  elizinashe

I Don't Wanna!

My wonderful time of two weeks and five days away from school are coming to a close.  The break between our summer semester and the fall semester has been wonderful and I want it to continue.  No hurried doctor's appointments this time.  Just some good old fashioned relaxation.  The house got a good cleaning, I've been well rested without anxiety provoking dreams, had a fantastic girl's weekend and spent some time with my dad while he was in town visiting.  Too bad we can't store good sleep like a camel stores water.  I will certainly need  the extra zzz's.

Friday was checking back into reality as it was my first day back to work in over a week. I did not appreciate my alarm sounding off at 5am.  That was not nice.  Today has been glossing over the school website and downloading math calculations and worksheets in order to prepare for a very long day this Monday for our first day of class.  Class that will last from 9am until after 4pm.  Ugh.  Insert unhappy face here.  Tomorrow will be another day of work only to return home and fight those first day of school jitters.  Yuk.  I'm not even sure what to throw in my backpack.  As long as I remember what building to walk into at the correct time then I guess I will be doing okay.  

Got an interesting letter in the mail today regarding school.  Apparently I've been selected to join a 'society' of academic and leadership success.  Ha!  It sounds like a win-win situation not to mention a gold star on my resume and money for any future schooling that I may want to attempt.  I just find it funny that I was asked in the first place.  If these people only knew what I am really like they may change their minds.  haha....I can't even speak in front my classmates to give a group presentation.  I totally get tongue tied and flushed.  I hope to God that I don't have to give a speech in front of this so-called society.  I would surely faint.  I guess all that wine has had some benefit to my little brain.  And if that's the case then I toast to that.  Salut!  elizinashe

Thick Air & Attitudes

The last few days have been gray, overcast and humid.  It hasn't been really hot so to speak but the air is just plain thick.  If it's going to be this poopy looking outside, I wish the skies would just open up and let loose.  Not that I want a big storm or anything but a good rain would definitely help.  In short, the clouds are full of gas and they need to fart big time.  

It's no surprise how weather and planetary movements can affect the attitude.  Sunny spring skies are always a mood booster, especially after a days of chilly weather.  A full moon seems to make people a little more festive if not impulsive.  I believe there is an urban myth about how emergency departments and police departments are busier than usual on a full moon night compared to others.  I know my workplace seems to be a bit more loony.  But, that's just my personal observation.  

I know for myself, icky weather like we are having today affects my own attitude.  I've had a hard time keeping my mind in a happy place.  Plus, there is an odd planetary movement that has been going on the last few weeks that is finally coming to an end and I feel like that weird cycle going back into a normal mode is pulling on my inner soul as well.  I'm ready to get back into a normal groove.  Everything I had planned in my head to tackle during my break has been slow going.  A big clash with one of my co-workers the other day has really seeped into my brain and does nothing but piss me off.  And what pisses me off even more is that it is stuck in my head.   I usually don't take work stuff home, but this incident really got under my skin.  However, as time goes on, I feel like it's washing away even more, along with the planets and thick air.  If it would only rain a good bit to truly wash it out of my system.  That would be a good thing.  

So that's it for today folks.  Just a gray, thick day anxiously awaiting the skies to open up and relieve some built up tension.  I think we all could use a good wash by Mother Nature.  elizinashe

Quick Bits

Summer is over.  At least school wise.  I now have two weeks and five days of freedom from nursing school chaos.  I am now a second year nursing student.  It just doesn't seem really real.  Can't believe I have survived this far and  I don't know how it will all come together in the end.  It all just seems so surreal.  Weird.

I have a classmate whose last name is Sharp.  His initials are G.F.  Thus, he is G.F. Sharp.  Makes me giggle.  Being a piano player for most of my life I can't help but visualize those keys in my head when I see his student ID tag.  Ah, the simple pleasures in life that make it comical.  Gotta love it.  

Ever start writing a paragraph over and over again trying to find that voice because you're having a hard time conveying what's locked up in your head?  I keep trying to write something about the Olympics but I'm having a hard time finding what I really want to say about it all.  So here it goes.  Haven't watched much of it because I don't have cable.  I did see the Queen's entrance, (funny) and I dig watching women's gymnastics.  I could care less about fencing and synchronized swimming.  China's athletes are strangely strong.  There's something fishy about that.  

I have now joined the Smartphone craze.  And I love it.  It's the coolest thing ever.  I went with an iPhone which I find very user friendly and  I totally dig it.  Makes me wonder what else Steve Jobs would have created had he lived longer.  He certainly set a new standard for everyday modern technology.   I don't have that itch to get the iPad yet.  I'm pretty happy with my trusty ol' Dell.  However I think it's beginning to show it's age and slow down a bit. I just need it to last through school.  Keeping my fingers crossed.  

I will refrain from making any political rants or persuasions being that it's an election year.  I think it's going to take a long time for our economy to recover regardless.  However, what kind of idiot stands up in front of the NAACP and tells these people that his first order of business if elected is to get rid of Obama's healthcare reform?  Oh yeah, Romney.  What a jackass.  

So that's it folks.  Just thought I'd throw a few bits out there.  Just trying to keep the creative spark alive.  Peace out ya'll.  elizinashe

Boom Crash!

Ever feel like everything is coming at you all at once and you don't know how to stop the merry-go-round in your head from spinning out of control?  I have griped about this many times before and I usually manage somehow but these last two weeks of our summer session is coming to a screaming halt it feels and I just can't seem to stay motivated to stay focused.  The anxiety is jacking up, my sleep has been in a mess and I can't seem to keep up with normal, everyday household stuff that should be simple.  I have two tests on Thursday as well a quiz due and I have done little concentrating since I got home from my clinical site today.  I'm tired ya'll.  I just want to pack up the car and run away.  The fall clinical schedule is in the works and there are a lot of kinks to hammer out which makes all of us students nervous since we all have jobs, families and children to be responsible for.  I wish there was a simpler way to do all of this.  I hate all this chaos.  It's getting harder to manage, or so it seems.  

Yes, the summer classes have been somewhat a little more laid back.  Lots of 'guest speakers' and boring content which does nothing for my brain other than shut off.  At least we've only had one day of lecture during this summer session.  Four hours and 25 minutes of lecture.  Ugh.  I just cannot wait for all this shit to end.  Two tests, two finals, one lab practical and four more clinical days.  Plus, work.  And then home to a disaster of a house.  I want maid.  Seriously.  Just might have to invest in one before fall for at least one good clean up because I know for certain that my ass will not be motivated to clean up after all this is over.  I just hope that I get my act together because I know for a fact that the fall semester will be a real doozie.  And I am not looking forward to it just yet.  Sheesh.  Next summer has got to be better than this.  elizinashe

Could I Have Been....

Do you ever have those moments when you begin to question yourself and wonder why you're doing what you're doing?  I mean, really question yourself?   When you were little, did you know what you wanted to be when you 'grow up?'.  And did you follow through with that idea of what you wanted to be when you were young or did you come to your senses and follow another path?  Which door of opportunity did you open and how many others did you close?  Ever feel like you chose poorly?  How in the hell did you know that your were doing the right thing for you?  

I've been struggling with some of these notions lately and I am beginning to truly doubt myself in my endeavors.  Mostly because there has been much disruption during this process plus a few bad, if not horrible clinical days where I just can't seem to be on top of my duties which makes me look, and feel might I add, incompetent.  And when you get the 'stink eye' from your instructors then is doesn't make you feel any better.  My confidence in my abilities and motivation to kick this education 'in the junk' as a friend would say, is waning.  I question my own reasoning and problem solving skills which is hard to turn that continual tape off in my head.  My house is a wreck, I'm afraid to look at my bank account and my body is falling apart as if I were an old woman.  Is all this fuckola worth it?  And don't tell me 'it will be all worth it in the end' because that does nothing but piss me off and make me want to punch you in the nose.  I hate it when people say that because they have not one clue as to how messed up it makes your life.  

Sometimes I feel like I'm just being a whiny, selfish bitch but there's the other part of me where reality is setting in and reality tends to dictate.  I can't help but wonder, as I do often at this stage in my life, if I've screwed up somewhere and passed up the opportunity that I was supposed to live.  I have always identified with the song 'Dancing Nancies', as well as many other classic Dave Matthews Band songs, but this one song in particular has really resonated with me lately.  I just can't help but wonder if could have been something else.  All I can do at this point is keep moving on.  I will look up at the sky and leave it at that.  Thanks for the input, Dave.  Don't know what I'd do without you.  elizinashe

Gray Matter

Me-oh-my where has the time gone?  These last two weeks have certainly kept my mind buzzing more than usual.  So far I have worn a heart halter for 24 hours to monitor my ticker.  So far, so good.  The MRI showed no indication of any 'Franks' in my noggin.  I had an EEG done Monday and tomorrow I go for a heart echo to look at the inside of my heart that may or may not have triggered my initial drop & flop.  I'm sure all will be fine and I'm interested in seeing the echo myself and looking at little flaps that serve as a lock & damn mechanism for my overall blood flow to my weirded out body. However,  I have no interest in seeing the bills that will be filling up my mailbox.  That shit can wait.  

I had a friend rush into town last weekend for a quick excursion.  It was a quick 3 day jaunt but I was thankful for it regardless.  I took some pictures for the first time since the holidays and revisited my own downtown area.  I forget how much I enjoy using my little camera and discovering new eateries.  I feel like I've missed out on so much these past few months simply because I was emeshed in work and much schooling.  I know I will eventually have more free time to play further on down the road and downtown will always be there.  I just need to remember to touch base with some real fun time more often.  

I had an old boyfriend contact me recently.  It didn't come quite as a shock but the timing was unexpected for sure.  I'm not sure quite what to make of it all just yet.  I'm still processing it in my frankless brain but I guess for the most part he needed to clear his guilty conscience for his wrong doings.  Whatever, man.  I have never held any ill will toward him but I just can't get messed up in that 'rekindling the past' kind of mess.  School starts back up on Monday and I have much to do before that first day.  Most importantly, I have a hot date with one of my bestests girlfriends for a concert to which I refuse to miss.  And that pretty much trumps everything else.  elizinashe

So This One Time At Clinical

Wow, it's been a really long time since I last wrote.  The whole log-in thingy is different now.  Why do they have to keep changing things?  It's a weird looking format if you ask me.  However, this is not the main reason that I am posting tonight.  

Last Monday I was at my clinical site at the VA Hospital as a part of my nursing program curriculum.  I was getting ready to pass medications to my patient with my instructor by my side.  She was grilling me pretty hard about meds and making me really nervous.  She's a really good teacher but really particular and plays by the rules to the 'T' if you know what I mean.  She was asking me about the '5 Patient Rights' which I had trouble recalling which made me even more nervous.  I remember trying to recall what I should always know and I began to repeat myself in hopes of triggering my memory.  The more I kept messing up, the more freaked I became.  Anyway, it got to a point to where I began to feel really light-headed and I knew that I needed to sit down.  I remember saying aloud to my instructor that I felt 'lightheaded' and then that was it.  

The next thing I saw was my instructor over me saying my name and trying to arouse me.  I looked around, rather confused at that given moment and then it hit me.  I passed out.  I then vaguely remember my feet shaking & kicking or something like that.  As I was becoming more coherent I asked if I had passed out.  ('yes').  Did I just have a seizure?  ('yes').  I think the thought of 'oh shit' crossed my brain and then more confusion as to how in the hell that could have happened to me.  

So to make a long story short, I was quickly assessed and then slowly sat up to reorient yet again and head down to the ER for a workup.  It all happened so fast that I was still dumbfounded.  I felt really bad that all this happened in front of my patient and in his room!  I hope I didn't freak him out so much.  However, I was really thankful that my instructor was by my side and very grateful for the nursing staff on that 4th floor.  

I got a really good work-up down in the ER that day.  The thing I hated the most was having to call my mom to meet me in the Emergency Department.  Ironically, all this happened the day after what would have been my brother's 46th birthday.  He had died from a freak virus that attacked his heart exactly two months after his 20th birthday.  Strange.  And knowing that I had to call my mom to reinforce a fear that 'something might happen to me' left me guilt ridden.  However, she took it really, really well and did not freak out as badly as I thought she would have.  And thank God for that!  

All my lab work came back within normal limits, the heart monitor did not indicate anything abnormal but the CT did show what appears to be an aneurysm.  (HUH?).  Seriously?  Apparently, according to the CT, I have a 6mm aneurysm in the right side of my brain.  I wasn't able to see the CT myself, but I still have trouble believing it all.  I have had no signs or sypmptoms that anything has been 'wrong' or 'unusual'.  Other than a few panicky moments but then again I'm in nursing school and I work.  That's stressful enough.  

Since then, I have seen a neurologist for a consult, I have an MRI scheduled for Wednesday to see what's really in my brain afterall.  Tuesday I get to pick up a 'halter' to monitor my heart for 24 hours and will also have an EEG in the near future as well as a heart echo.  Lucky me.  This was not how I wanted to spend my two week break from school before our summer session starts.  All this shit happened at the beginning of finals week.  Boy, do I know how to pick bad timing, eh?  

I've always said 'things happen for a reason'.  And I still belive that today.  Sometimes we just don't know what that reason might be.  All I know is that I survived the incident, completed my tests and will be walking out of my second semester with a 'B' average.  A well deserved 'B' if you ask me.  I go through periods of thought where I'm really freaked by it all and the possible outcomes to the naive and perhaps somewhat intuitive thought that it's all really going to be okay.  Certainly there are a couple of things high on my priority list to change and monitor.  I've lead a pretty healthy life for the most part and I want to continue that by all means.  I've worked too hard to get where I am today and I am much too stubborn to let this get me down.  

In the meantime, I've tried to keep pretty chill this week and have tried not to overthink this mess.  I just want to see what the MRI indicates and if it is to be true as to what Mr CT says, then I will move on to the next step.  Summer session starts on the 21st and I can't miss orientation.  Plus, my study group would be lost without me.  haha....And if I do have a 'little friend' growing in my brain I think I will call him Frank.  Sounds weird, I know but I'm kinda weird myself so it makes perfect sense to me.  

So that's been my life so far.  You hear all kinds of horror stories, mean instructors,  struggling experiences and sleep deprivation during nursing school.  I think I've out done them all don't ya think?  Until next time.....

elizinashe

Recognition, Procrastination, Debating & Frustration

So a local staff member from a local entertainment newspaper made a comment on my previous blog post. Don't know how he found it but he read my stuff nevertheless. Wow! I was quite surprised not to mention a little impressed. Apparently he has created another blog page for other local bloggers and artists to have a home for more exposure and self-advertising and he wanted to know if I wanted to be a part of this. Huh? My little blog? Really? Not quite sure what to make of this. I certainly don't have anything to promote or sell. Just some random writing here and there. I have yet to give a clear 'okay'. I've been so wrapped up with school stuff that my brain just can't comprehend all the particulars. One of the requirements is to post at least once a week. That may be tough given my schedule at this time. However, instead of looking over homework at this moment I'm blogging. Guess if I really wanted to write more often I'd sacrifice the time.

And on the homework note I am totally ignoring my Micro this evening. I just don't think my brain can tolerate the material. It can get pretty detailed and I just don't feel up to it. My body is tired and my legs ache. I've been up since 5am and spent half my day at my clinical site. Came home to rest a bit, went to the grocery store and spent about 3 hours doing nursing stuff on-line and sent an email to a friend. I think the hours put into my nursing stuff should qualify for enough time spent school wise. Everything else can go on the back burner for tonight. Ah......I see a small couch for the evening and a nice glass of wine.

Speaking of school, the next leg of our nursing classes for the spring is gearing up which means totally new clinical sites from March until May. Some of those days clash with my Micro lab day. I should have my clinical days on Saturdays & Mondays as they have been but being that the state requires an 'X' amount of clinical time per semester I have some added days which fall on Tuesdays aka Micro Lab day. Ugh! I'm already juggling so much and our micro teacher posts stuff late so it's hard to keep up with that class. I can't miss much class time without totally failing. We have an orientation day that is required for nursing which of course, falls on a Tuesday. WTF?? I want to stay in compliance with my nursing program but having another class that clashes just plain sucks. I'm not sure that my micro teacher will allow me to make up class time in the evening due to my nursing schedule. But I guess it wouldn't hurt to ask. Otherwise, the other plan is to drop the micro and try to retake it in the summer when things will hopefully be much calmer. Therefore, I can manage the nursing thing somewhat better and just may have a more positive outcome in taking the micro later. Just a hopeful thought.

And to top it all off, I am still plagued with vehicle dilemmas. The mechanic brought up the word 'trade' along with the words repair. Oh geeze.....I know my car is 12 years old but it's a Nissan. Those things last forever and mine is paid off! I totally cannot afford a car payment nor do I have enough money in the bank to pay for some cheap ass set of wheels just to get me around. I love having a 4 wheel drive because it certainly has saved my ass a few times when the weather has been slippery. I am certain that we will get a good snow before the season is over. We are overdue this winter. I'd rather have my car repaired but the trick is having transportation while it's being repaired. It will probably be a good 2 day job, (cha-ching) and being that I have to be somewhere everyday, I need wheels. So the challenge is to find a buddy who is blessed to have a 2nd vehicle and beg to borrow the said 2nd vehicle. It is times like these when it really does suck to be single. I have yet to be blessed with a boyfriend, live-in or husband who could help me with these matters. It's just one more thing to add to the anxiety. Lucky me. At least there is always a glass of wine to be had. Maybe I should be a part of the community blog afterall....perhaps one of my fellow bloggers-slash-artists would take pity on me and loan me a set of wheels next time I encounter such a conundrum. Stranger things have happened that's for sure. I think it's time to pile up on the couch and think about it for a while. Or not think. That sounds more pleasing to my overworked brain. Until next time.... elizinashe

I'm Still Here

Despite a constant state of anxiety and dark circles, I am still in existence. I have succumbed to the fact that I will never catch up in the fashion that I want and that I will always be too tired to push myself to stay up late to really pound into the books and power points. What a sucky way to teach by the way....

I didn't do so well on my first Micro test even though it was on-line. I just couldn't keep my notes straight nor have I dedicated loads of time to really study this extra class because I've been so focused on my nursing crapola and all the other extra projects that they have dished out and getting my service learning requirements out of the way. Oh yeah, don't forget to throw in my working hours in all this mess.

I go to bed with notes and ideas in my head as well as hormones and lab values that I should have memorized while my cat tries to smother me in efforts to keep himself warm. I dread hearing the alarm in the wee hours of the morning and starting my day. But I am relieved to see fellow study mates before class, bleary eyed like me and griping about the seemingly lack of congruence in our courses and communication between our instructors and our designated group project people with whom we have to work with for specific projects to turn in for class as a part of our curriculum. I am relieved to go to work knowing that it's an environment that I know and that I have great familiarity which strangely eases my stress being that it's usually a high stress environment. Funny how that works.....

The next two weeks will certainly be balls to the wall for me. Not rest for the weary. At all. Period. I will not have a free day until the 24th. I just want to get through the weekend. That's all I can really focus on right now. I'm still behind with school but I feel like I'm one step ahead with making some flash cards to tuck away in my bag for work in the am. Hopefully, I will have a slight chance to gloss over them during my working hours and hope that it will sink into my head by the means of osmosis. I am hoping that my Saturday clinical will give me the opportunity to have some time to fill out a stupid drug chart so I won't have to do it at home. I've got a power point to finish by next week not to mention Microbiology. Sheesh! I think my brain is officially at capacity even though I know there is much, much more to do. Wish me luck my fellow readers! I can certainly use the good karma and the motivational vibes to push me through! In the meantime, relish the fact that you aren't going through this mess right now! There is light at the end of the tunnel. I just wish the tunnel were a bit shorter right now.

Cheers! elizinashe

Here We Go!

I have now entered the chaotic abyss of nursing school second semester plus an on-line microbiology class. My computer is going to suck me into a black hole that no escape key will delete me out of this vortex. What am I thinking? I don't even know where to start. I keep getting distracted. What do I read first and which class do I read first? Since when did a grammatically incorrect, incomplete sentence such as 'on-line' become a verb and a way to teach educational material as well as test students? How many power points does it take to teach one chapter? How much is too much? I grew up watching slides of family photos. I'd rather see that again. And why would anyone say that your 2nd semester of nursing school will be easier? WTF????? I don't have time to absorb all this shit. How will I do it all? On-line assignments, on-line readings, on-line tutorials, on-line quizzes, on-line, on-line, on-line......blah,blah,blah.......can I get a new ass on-line because mine will surely be flat as a pancake by the end of the month. See ya in the spring. elizinashe

Odds & Ends

Today has been the coldest day of the year. It didn't reach above 27 degrees for our high and the wind chill has been in the single digits. Brrr.....It's supposed so be a bit warmer tomorrow and back into the 50s by the weekend. That's good news to my ears if you ask me.

My dad sends me newspaper clippings from my hometown paper at least once a week. It gives him something to do I guess. Most of them involve pet stories such as the local pet photo contest contestants and winners, the pet of the week up for adoption and random shots of people with their dogs at the park. He also sends me themed stuff. This month has been Christmas lights and displays around the area and such. Halloween was rather fun it seemed. Lots of haunted houses and creepy costumes. Sometimes he sends the gossip of the week politic wise. Lately, our mayor, who is a member of our church, recently had an altercation at a town meeting with a resident who got out of hand and punched our mayor in the face. (dumbass.) The court hearing made the paper which my father sent me. I really have no interest in reading all the details but I will happily accept it. One of these days I won't be receiving these little annoyances from my hometown newspaper.

School starts back up on Monday. Yikes! How did the time pass so quickly? My house is still not in order despite the three week break. I just can't get myself organized. As long as I can vacuum again and keep up with the laundry I can function fairly well. I already bought extra notebooks before the semester ended and should have plenty of ancillary supplies on hand. I have an extra book to pick up plus a payment for an on-line tutorial. Other than that, I guess I'm somewhat prepared. Our first day back is apparently an orientation from 730am until 4pm that day. Ugh! I have no idea what to bring or what to prepare for other than a giant thermos of coffee and my water jug. Not looking forward to long, first day back.

Christmas was good although it still makes me feel blue at times. It was good to spend time with my mom and her friends and share a big feast. Even though that angry little head of mine begins to sprout I am always glad to have my time with her. One of her friends gave me a generous gift card for Christmas and as a 'Congratulations' on surviving my first semester of nursing school. That gift card went on to buy a new down coat, on sale of course, for the bitter cold. My old jacket had become too old plus it was too small to begin with so I now have a proper fitting deep lagoon colored down coat to start off my new year. Gotta love those after Christmas sales.

We have all heard that things happen in 'threes'. Well, my 'threes' are beginning. Last week I had my manifold and a valve cover gasket set replaced. Ouch. In the process it was discovered that my O-rings were crapped out so I'm having those replaced in the morning. Oh well. It's cheaper than a new car that's for damn sure. I'm afraid to see how much this will cost me in the end. I'm still waiting on the 'three'. I have a doctor's appointment on Thursday so keep your fingers crossed. I can't have my health be the third. Whatever it is it better be manageable.

So there it is folks in a nutshell. Maybe if I'm lucky I'll be able to post before the semester takes over my life. Wish me luck! I will need it. elizinashe