Are You Ready?

I've thought about my own mortality from time to time.  Not that I expect it anytime soon, but on occasion it crosses my mind.  When I was little, I had this idea that when you die, you just lie down when you're old, go to sleep and then you are lifted up to Heaven in a big colorful hot air balloon.  Don't know where the balloon part came into play but the child like colors don't surprise me.  Not to mention the innocence of what my idea of death was at that time.  

As I've gotten older and I watch my parents get older, I realize that my own death probably won't be as lovely as I had thought it would be like I did as a child, nor will it be mostly  peaceful and surrounded my many loved ones like my grandparents had experienced.  I can only hope and pray that when it comes time for my own parents to leave this Earth, that they too will leave without pain and/or suffering.  

Being that I work with the Geriatric population now, I see now how aging can really suck sometimes given health related complications that have been brewing for years on top of mental health issues, dementia and Alzheimer's disease.  It truly is sad sometimes.  And what's really sad is when some of these people have no voice to speak for them.  No guardian, no kids, no siblings, no nothing.  God I hope that's not me someday.  Sometimes I really start to think about it.  Maybe a bit too much. 

I am single with good friends, no children and an aging cat.  And so when I think about this stuff, I think about who is going to be with me?  Who is going to be around when I'm really sick?  Being that I don't have any kids, who is going to take my stuff?  I could care less about the material stuff so to speak. But what about those important momento's, family pictures, music...man, lots of music!  Who wants all my crap that is important to me that I want to 'pass on' to someone who will appreciate it?  And what about my family stuff?  My cousins don't keep in touch with me frequently enough so would they want some of that shit?  I hate the idea that all those little things that I have loved so much goes to waste with nobody to appreciate it all like I have.  And what about my journals?  Who wants to read about my life?  Just a few random things that creep across my mind.  Kinda morbid to talk about I know.  However, these are just a few things that have been on my mind lately.  Don't mean to bring ya down, but I can pretty much guarantee that you have thought about this shit too.  I think that's a normal process as we all get older.  Hopefully I won't have to think about dishing out all 'my stuff' anytime soon.  I've got too many things on my bucket list to tackle.  Life is good and I plan to keep it that way for a long time.  elizinashe