Little Things

Tender is the Heart...

Funny how something so simple can trigger a memory. Good or bad.  They say our sense of smell elicits strong memories, which I do agree with.  But sometimes just seeing something as simple as a picture, a color or a movie scene can trigger a memory that takes you back to a happier time.  Sometimes it's not so happy.  I had that moment tonight.  A reminder of a very painful grief.  Although grief is a part of life, and a necessary part of healing, I just don't like to revisit that kind of pain.  It just hurts too bad.  

I find it funny when you get a new place that everyone just assumes that you're going to throw a party.  I guess that's kind of expected.  But, I'm just not good at coordinating that kind of thing.  Plus, I don't want a bunch of people roaming around my place for hours where I feel like I have to cater to them not to mention watch for that one person who will drink too much, because there is always one of those, and then clean up the mess.  Or worse yet, clean up what gets broken.  Because you know that stuff happens too.  

My mother's friends wanted to stop by and congratulate me on my new digs about a month after I moved in.  I still had boxes laying around.  No big deal really.  They brought me some wonderful gifts but the proposition to 'have a pot-luck' was a bit much.  I didn't even have a table not to mention enough dishware to feed everyone.  Sheesh.  The pot luck was not a go, but the general visit was wonderful.  And short.  Which was fine by me.  One of my girlfriends nagged me for almost three months to have a 'girls nite' at my place with her.  I still haven't done that yet.  She's a good person and a good friend, but she has a lot of drama in her life and I just don't want to spend my night listening to all her crap.  Does that make me unhospitable?  I feel horrible for feeling that way, but I just don't want that kind of negative vibe in my house.  I like to keep it nice and cheery.  Is that so bad?

Dreams...we all have them.  The ones that we wish for in our head, and the ones that happen when we sleep.  Do you remember what you dream about when you wake up?  Do you know that you're dreaming when it happens?  Are you able to control your dreams?  Or do you just wake up thinking "what the heck was that about?"  And what about people that appear in your dreams that are no longer living?  Is that grief or is it that person's way of 'visiting' you?  Do you belive in that sort of thing?  Just curious....I have had the experience of having someone I lost a long time ago appear in my dreams as if he was still around in the present.  It's never something from my past.  Sometimes, I just feel his presence.  I just know he's there.  It's a very strange  feeling.  And I never get to finish that dream as I am having it.  I wake up before I want to.  And that makes me sad sometimes.  I want more time.  I guess we could all say that when we lose someone that we love.  Life is certainly short.  I hope you're dreams are peaceful and if you do have a loved one come visit you in your dreams, I hope it leaves you happy.  elizinashe