I Really Should Write More

The holidays have proved to be epic. Thanksgiving was wonderful and quick. Then it was back to the slammatude of school, holiday cards, work and moving toward that beacon of light that is, and soon to be was, the 'semester break'. No time for blogging.

It was a bombardment of prepping for a test, taking the said test followed by a holiday Christmas Jam fundraiser, then check-offs, then another check-off and oh yeah, a third check-off because I'm a dumbass and then the final. Sandwich many study sessions with classmates in between and that was my first three weeks of December. Then the celebrations began. Met the said classmates for celebratory drinks and junk food, entertained a weekend guest and hit a mandatory meeting for work after guest leaves and finally crashed in the afternoon for a much needed nap. Too tired to blog.

After recovering from all the festivities it was on to vehicle repairs, (yea me) and more food and drink related gatherings for the season and a feast at my mother's house with 12 other people. Sheesh! I think I'm officially full. However, today is the big 'New Year's Eve' hoo-ha so there will be more foodage and drink. The good thing is that I am working in the morning so I seriously doubt that I will see any kind of ball drop come midnight. Oh well.....there is a slight chance of seeing the midnight hour since I have been struggling with insomnia during my break. You would think I'd have sleeping problems while I'm working and going to school and not during a respite. What the hell is that all about? Too frustrated to blog.

All in all, I really can't complain. The holidays usually are a struggle for me at times. It's a love/hate relationship but I am certain most people are in a similar situation. I really do dig the holidays but sometimes I wish my life were a bit different and it seems to get a little bit harder as I get older. (sigh.) I am blessed and lucky and I have wonderful friends that I cannot describe in words how much they mean to me. So when those troublesome thoughts try to take a hold of my mind I think of my peeps and take a look at what I truly have in my life and take stock at what's truly important. I'm looking forward to getting all this holiday chaos over with and welcome 2012 for all good things to come my way and get rid of these roller coaster holiday blahs out of my soul. Happy New Year's everyone! May 2012 be the year for all to prosper and succeed in all your endeavors! elizinashe

Verbage

Boom shaka lacka lacka boom shaka lacka lacka bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy bawitadaba da bang a dang diggy diggy ding dang a dong bong bing bong skeep-beep de bop-bop beep bop bo-dope skeetle-at-de-op-de-day de do do do de da da da eh hee yeah amanaya yeaha yeah eh eh amana eh hee yeah amanaya yeaha yeah eh eh amana hoo hoo that's what I say! elizinashe

Lists & Clutter

I'm a list maker. Grocery store items, household items, things to do, people's birthday reminders, doctor appointment reminders as well as a variety of bucket lists. My 'bucket list' reminders usually end up sandwiched in some book or in a pile of stuff that you forget to throw away and sometimes you find the said bucket list squirreled away in some odd, random spot for 'safe keeping' just in case you make it happen or it actually comes true.

I have had one of my bucket lists laying next to my stereo for months now. It was a list that I had made well over ten years ago and had tucked it away until I had rediscovered it and decided that I needed to have it out in the open again. Now I'm thinking 'why am I really saving this silly wish list?' At this point all it's doing is taking up space and adding to my clutter of stuff that I save for no apparent reason. We all make bucket lists but what do you really do with them? I usually end up doing most of what I wish for however just not in the time that I wish it to be and some items come quite by accident.

So in hopes of not losing a piece of history from my life, which is why I think I save such silly things, I will share some of my 'bucket list' items from long ago and then throw this little piece of cardboard from a notepad into the trash. I really don't need to save this for the rest of my life but at least in posting my 'wish list' items it's still around for my own peace of mind.

• go ice skating
• buy a new car
• hike the mountain behind grandma & granddaddy's house
• hike Stone Mountain
• own a grand piano
• write stories about people I've known
• snow ski
• take flying lessons
• have a black cat named Hecubus
• have a dog or two
• go to a formal New Year's Eve Party and dress up
• take a sleigh ride

So what's in your bucket list and what kind of silly things do you save for years just for the sake of keeping a piece of your history around? elizinashe

ARRGGG!!!

It's all coming down to the wire. I'm past my stress level and the semester has yet to end. Holiday rush festivities and hurriedly studying for a two tests, scheduling for check-offs and preparing for the head-to-toe assessments. I feel like I don't have enough time to feel prepared. Traffic is a nightmare because of all the stupid shoppers. My cat has puked on the comforter twice and in the bed once. The last thing I want to do is a load of bedsheets after a 4 hour class. Ugh! I have a very clear 'no puking on the bed' rule which he clearly has forgotten. We are still in a battle over food. He likes the canned. I prefer the dry. I'm still confused as to why he's had to become even more particular the last two months. I wish my cat wasn't such a stubborn fart.

I've had very little time to be creative or have a social life. I watched some football yesterday which was fun but the post game studying that I had planned in my head did not get done. Oh well. So now I am spending my first Saturday off in months meeting a classmate to hash out some notes. I wish I didn't have to study today but given that I work the next two days and we have class on Tuesday this is a better time to do so. Trying to study after work really is not productive for me. There is a small part of me that feels like I'm about to lose it. I feel like I'm in a constant state of panic. Not a good feeling.

I came home to a headless squirrel on my doorstep. Eeek! Poor thing. I'm guessing a neighborhood cat got to it somehow. I didn't freak that much about it. One of it's hind legs was completely detached from it's body as well as the tail. If the head has still been there I probably would have freaked a little. However, it had been a long day and I had already squeezed out some poop from an ostomy bag and emptied pee all day so finding a murdered squirrel wasn't a big deal I guess. I just hope it will be the only one.

Okay, so that's it. Time to chill a bit before the next wave of frustrations hit. Cheers! elizinashe

Someone to Watch Over Me

My kitty Hecubus is the best kitty ever. Of course in calling him a 'kitty' implies that he is young which is not quite the case. He is in fact an aging kitty in his 'elder years' but his personality is still young at heart. I've had him for 15 years now and he still cracks me up and always keeps a dutiful watch over me.

Since school has started he had taken on a new roll in his care over me. He has become quite the study buddy. Although he can't verbally interact with my studies, his behavior helps me in a unique variety of ways.

He's become very good at sitting on top of my book so it doesn't fall off the couch while I'm trying to read and take notes. He loves sitting directly on top of my notes while I am reading them, just in case the wind blows through the open window so they don't 'blow away' and scatter across the room. He has even considered reducing any musculoskeletal damage to my wrists by rubbing on my pen while I try to write so I don't develop any writing cramps. He has also become a great deterrent to any Carpal Tunnel maladies. He assists in my typing class lecture notes by sitting in my lap therefore allowing me to use his body as extra support while I type. Who needs one of those computer wrist cushions when you have a cat? And when I begin to type too much he nudges my wrists to remind me that I need to stop and take a break which usually results in some stroking of his head.

He's even keeping watch over me as I slumber, ensuring that I get a good night's sleep before class the next day. He will curl up in my shoulder and neck, resting his head on my cheek therefore allowing him to ensure that I stay warm, especially my nose as well as making sure that I am breathing properly throughout the night. He will even stretch out his paws into my neck and into my hair as if he's giving me a long-lasting hug. I am certain that this is his way of checking my carotid artery and checking for a regular and healthy pulse. And sometimes he will place a paw over my ear thus blocking out any outside noise that might keep me awake. How thoughtful is that? And of course we can't forget the Eskimo kisses he likes to give which gives me warm fuzzies and the moral support that I sometimes need. I think this is a secret way he checks to see if I'm breathing okay through my nose but I know he would never admit to that. He's sneaky that way. Clever cat he is! And as a bonus, I always get a lullaby of some strong purring to soothe me to sleep. A perfect end to a long day of studies don't ya think?

With all sarcasm aside, and yes I am being slightly sarcastic here, I wouldn't trade my cat for anything. Yes, he can hinder my studies but then again when I look at it from a different perspective it makes me laugh and appreciate that I have such deterrents. It keeps the stress level down and gives me reason to write something silly. Pets can be a great pain in the ass when you're trying to get things done but they mostly bring joy. Because it's the good things that you always remember about your pets and the impact that they have made in your life. I love my kitty and I look forward to more nights of studying with my cat sitting in my book telling me I need to stop and pay attention to his needs while he's keeping my stress level down. Who needs to read for class anyway? elizinashe

News and Other Stuff

This week is 'Fall Break' from classes. And thank God for that! I finally had a day where I can sleep late and tackle some household duties. The bathroom light is now repaired, the floors swept and laundry is caught up. I haven't cracked a book in two days. Today will be a slow migrate back to the books since we have an assignment due Friday. However, I am relishing the fact that I have some down time to catch up on my studies.

So Amanda Knox has been freed and is now back in the States. Good for her. I don't think she was guilty in the first place and I can't imagine what the last four years have been for her. What a nightmare. But we all know that it won't be long until Diane Sawyer and Barbara Walters will be knocking on her door. I say leave her alone so she can regroup. She's got a lot of healing to do. Nuff said.

There were two scuba divers left behind in Florida on a tourist dive. Apparently when the two had resurfaced the boat had left. What the hell? Whatever happened to doing a head count? Luckily they were found by a private yacht after clinging to a bouy after a couple of hours. Can you say refund?

There is a woman in California that is seeking parole for the murder of her husband back in the early 90s. She had killed her husband within the first month of marriage, chopped up his body via garbage disposal and mixed some other parts in with leftovers and there are claims that she even 'barbequed' other bits and proceeded to eat him. Now she wants to be free. I guess she's getting tired of jail food and is in need of something more sinister. I wonder if she likes Chianti.

Another boy has taken his own life due to bullying because he's different. My heart goes out to his family. He was 14 years old. There is no reason that a child should take their own life because of the hatefulness of others. I really wish more was done about bullying. It's so mean and is clearly becoming an epidemic. And yet, very little is done to the guilty parties who make another's life miserable. This is just wrong in many aspects. I saw that Lady Gaga is taking this bullying matter to the White House. Hooray for her! I hope that we have a multitude of parents following in her footsteps to make some changes. I guess this is this generation's equivalent to what racism was back in the 60s. What do you think?

Fall is descending upon us nice & easily. We've had a few chilly nights already and I have turned the heat on a couple of times. It's been a nice change, calms my soul in a way. Other tasks to complete during my fall break is to bust out my fall to winter wear and put my summertime wear into hibernation. New, cozy sheets for the bed and a heavy comforter for good sleep. Gearing up for making some soup and freezing leftovers for a quick meal when I need it. With med calculations peppered betwixed said household duties. Sounds exciting, eh?

I have been having some food issues with my cat. He prefers the canned stuff now and getting him to eat more of his dry food is becoming a meowing pain in my ass. I have ruled out any mouth issues via a trip to the vet but he is getting older and has had some intestinal problems in the recent past. I still can't figure it out why he's gotten so spoiled over this but it's all a part of being a pet owner. And now that is has gotten chillier at night he's back in my personal space at night while I try to sleep with his head resting on my cheek and paws up in the pillows and in my hair to keep warm. Yes, his whiskers tickle me awake sometimes but I really don't mind so much. He's been the best boyfriend I've ever had the last 15 years and that's a good thing. And like myself, he's a big fan of my flannel sheets. Purrrfect sleeping gear. elizinashe

Information Overload and Other Things

I think by brain has reached capacity for the evening. I am just plain pooped out. School is going well and I am enjoying the challenge so far but that's exactly what it is-a challenge. Every class day is a different topic and everyday there is new material loaded up on our school website. I feel like I am continuously behind. I've totally lost the math skills that I was doing just 3 nights ago. No more med calculations tonight. I've lost it. However, tomorrow is another day.

My house is an absolute wreck. I haven't vacuumed since school started. Good thing I live alone. We have a fall break coming up which is my main focus. Can't wait! Although my time will be dedicated to more med calculations since that test is fast looming as well as other studies, I have already decided that a good day of sleep and fall cleaning will be in order and a leisurely lunch with long, lost friends. Maybe some good picture taking if the weather permits. I forget that I have a camera these days.

I have no idea of what's really going on in the world since I have little time to watch the news or any tv at all for that matter. My favorite show was cancelled last year so at least I'm not missing it this year. Other than that, I really don't miss tv at all. My peepers are tired of staring at the computer all the time loading & typing up notes. Sheesh! College is so much different these days. It's all on a small white screen. Crazy. It drives me a bit nuts. I don't know how I managed college the first time around. I don't know how I'm managing it right now. It's such a blur that it just leave my head spinning.

Yeah, my brain is on a shut down. I am done for the night. Time to stretch out on my little couch and catch up on some Glee. It's a new season I hear. elizinashe

Mark, Bob and the Radiator

I often say 'things happen for a reason' and I truly believe that. I have also heard that things 'happen in threes'. I believe that as well and yesterday was a perfect and perhaps a strangely explainable example.

My good friend Bob passed away this past December. I do not know how or why he had died but he died nonetheless which made me very sad. He was a retired physician who was insanely smart, was rather quirky bordering on the eccentric and loads of fun. There have been many times when I think out loud to myself and wish that my Bob was still around. Now that I have embarked on my nursing school career I really wish he was still around so that he could give me some guidance on my educational endeavors especially when it comes to the oncology unit that we will be studying later on down the road, which was his specialty. As I was going to bed Wednesday night I had said aloud, as if he could hear me, ( and sometimes I do believe the dead can hear us) that I had missed him and that I wish he were here to guide me with all this nursing crap. I know for certain that I miss our ridiculous moments of silliness and his stories of 'Wallers' which is a whole other topic that is too much to explain.

I had stopped yesterday after class to get some gas before it got too low. I had gone inside to prepay since I had some cash and ran into a mutual friend on my way out. Mark knew Bob through mutual friends and through the local restaurant that we all had frequented. Mark really dug Bob, as we all did and enjoyed having unique conversations with him. Mark had mentioned that it was strange that he ran into me at that moment. Mark had said that I appeared in his dream the night before and that Bob was also sandwiched in that dream somehow. He then proceeded to ask me how Bob was since he hadn't seen or heard from Bob or about Bob in forever. Now, I was taken back a bit because I thought for certain that Mark had already knew about Bob's demise. I was 98% sure that Mark & I had already had this conversation back in the winter. So I had told him what had happened of course but I was still in disbelief that he truly was not aware. I tell myself that Mark had just forgot or something like that.

As I proceeded to return to my car to gas it up I noticed a leak near the front of my engine coming from underneath and I knew it wasn't from my air conditioner. I saw a small puddle of water with some striking green liquid in the mix and as I looked underneath I saw a small drip of antifreeze coming from the general radiator area. Crap! This was the very last thing I had wanted or needed in my first three weeks of nursing school. Luckily my mechanic's garage was right down the street which I promptly drove to. I was pretty frustrated that this had happened when I just had my car serviced before school had started. However, I was able to leave my car for repair ( a new radiator no doubt) which meant at that time I didn't have a ride back home nor did I have a ride to school in the morning. Ugh! I was told that I wouldn't be able to pick my car back up until sometime Friday afternoon and with the holiday weekend approaching that would have been lucky.

I must have been uber fortunate yesterday and believe you me I thanked God and sent out my blessings. I was able to score a ride for class through a classmate that lives nearby, which I had just gotten his number that day in class. I kind stranger who was also a customer at my mechanic's offered to give me a ride home which I humbly and gratefully accepted. I could have walked home since I was close but that meant lugging a backpack, a nursing kit, a lab coat and my purse in the heat of the day. Not quite how I wanted to spend my Thursday afternoon. After I had unloaded myself once I got home and began to settle I started to dig into my homework. It was early evening when I get that call that my car was fixed and ready. Woo hoo!!! So happy I was! I had wheels again and was no longer in danger of being without a car for the whole weekend nor did I have to be dependent on anyone for transportation. What a relief!

So what's my point? If I had not stopped for gas I would not have run into Mark and had our conversation about Bob. It bought enough time for my car to pee out the antifreeze so I could take notice, otherwise I would have driven my car until God knows what could or would have happened. I find it strange that both Mark & I had thought about Bob the night before we saw each other. The trio of Mark, myself and Bob helped complete a series of 'threes', I guess you could say, with the trio of my car problems that I've recently had which started with a window switch being replaced and a dead battery at school. (thankful for the jump from campus police. yes, you may snicker at that implication.)

So I guess in a very, roundabout and strange sort of way, Bob is helping me with school and is still involved in my life. Being that Mark & I are connected through Bob he brought us together so I could discover a major vehicle impairment which could have kept me from arriving to my nursing classes. And having good luck on my side and good samaritans around, I was able to score a ride for class if I had needed it, was able to have a ride home while my car was being repaired and my car was finished before the big holiday weekend. Now that's what I call a Waller! elizinashe

Flash Back

well shake me like a monkey. I've been dancing like the nancies, trippin' with the billies, oh sweet seven I think I'm turning into a spaceman drinking big whiskey with the groo grux king. ee-hee what fun!
August 31, 2009

So on occasion there will be a sidebar window pop up on my facebook stating what I had said on a particular day in a particular year. Today I came across a quote that brought back some fond memories and when I had read the very first line I knew exactly where I had been and who I was with. Such a lovely trip it was. I wish I could relive that trip but in reading my quoted experience it gives me the feeling as if I had just typed it out for the very first time. I can't wait for other quotes that I have written to pop up and take me back down to memory lane. elizinashe

Nerdville Here I Come

So it's back to school time for me. Yes, I'm in the big pond now with the other fish who have been accepted into the nursing program here at the local community college. Woo hoo! My summer has been filled with many trips to the school for financial aid, unanswered questions, delayed email replies, tuition to pay for, books to buy and prepayments for other items that have yet to be received. Backpack upgraded, uniforms bought, patches to be sewn, lab kits purchased with all it's treasures and a sea green stethoscope lying in its box waiting to be plugged into my stuffy ears. Struggles with the on-line tutorial info website that was posted two days prior to our first class,(which is tomorrow) and an ink depletion snafu during the big print off for said tutorial info. Class info in upgraded backpack along with syllabus and monthly schedule as well as 'contracts' for agreeable student behavior & expectations. Snacks prepared, water bottle chilling and an abundance of pens. Self made notecards to guide me to the correct classroom at the right time in the right room at various days. No locker combination to memorize, just three different passwords for three different school related websites that is now a requirement for all college students. Excitement and first class anxiety fills my head, along with a new pimple emerging at the dimple of my smile and I have now learned from my dentist appointment from earlier this morning that I now need a mouth guard to wear at night because I clench my teeth so badly. Yeah, I totally feel like I'm that nerdy kid entering high school again. If I have those 'showing up for class naked' dreams then I'm totally doomed. Good thing I'm old enough to buy alcohol this time. elizinashe

Diet, Exercise & Video Games

I have never been one to follow a diet. It's not the willpower, it's the following the diet rules and sticking to it. I've never been one to eat a lot of junk either. I've always liked fruits & vegetables and I've let go many moons ago the daily dose of diet coke. I do indulge in the occasional pizza and a big fat burger but for the most part junky food like that has never been a part of my daily or even weekly diet. That's a good thing. I thank my parents for instilling good eating habits at a young age.

I've struggled with keeping an exercise routine the last few years mainly due to the fact that I no longer have a gym membership. Yes, I know that I can exercise at home or go run around the local track around the VA Hospital but I just don't have the motivation. Home is my quiet place and walking an outdoor track when it's miserably hot is not my idea of a good workout. I want to sweat in an air conditioned room. In short, I like having a reason & a purpose to go somewhere to workout. I miss the gym that was on my end of town. It closed down many years ago and the other gyms that are in town are seemingly too far for me to drive. Lame excuse I know....

However I have been inspired to try something different through a couple of my coworkers. One of the girls I work with has been doing the Zumba videos on her break at work for some quick and intensive cardio. This girl comes out red faced and breaking a good sweat. It makes me jealous. She's also been doing Weight Watchers to change her eating habits and get back on a healthy track. She's not overweight by any means but she does look good. So it got me to thinking.....

I tried the Zumba myself one afternoon with some of our kids. Yes, you get a good workout but I couldn't stay coordinated enough to keep up the dance steps. I did more laughing than jumping around. It would take a lot of practice for me to really get it all down. However, we have a Wi gaming set for our kids. We use it for special groups as well as a reward for good behavior. We tested the new Dance Wi and the Michael Jackson's Experience. Oh boy! I think I found my thang! I've never been big on video games but this Wi stuff is pretty damn cool. I could care less about the bowling or the shoot 'em up blow 'em up games. I want to dance! I was surprised how quickly my heart rate jumped after doing a couple of Wi dances. I even broke out a little sweat! So much more fun than walking up several flights of stairs on your break. I see more Proud Mary in my future. If I can move around like Tina Turner then I will certainly be burning up some calories and looking good once again. I give the Wi a two thumbs up. I am looking forward to testing out some more dances. Can't wait to take that trip to Funkytown. elizinashe

Mindless Chatter

It's been really hot here lately. I know that my side of the fence can't compare to the extreme heat felt in Texas, Arkansas and Arizona, just to name a few other yards, but it's still hot for our fair mountains. Ugh! It just makes me all kinds of cranky. I don't even want to cook nor do I have much of an appetite. I struggle with coming up with something for a meal because it's too hot to think. I'm ready for some cooler weather, a nice long fall I say!

The last couple of weeks have been super busy for me mostly in a good way. I had a friend in town for a couple of days which gave me a good excuse to host an epic hike among some waterfalls and a tailgate picnic followed by an evening of recovery and other libations. Then it was back to the grindstone and back to work. Yuk. However, I did have a girlfriend pop into town for some training with her new job so in between working shifts we were able to catch up and have some quality girl time! One of the few things I miss having with her. Hopefully we will have many more of those nights to come in the future now that she & her husband have moved from the Bay area and back closer to Asheville. Woo hoo!

I have a girlfriend here that drives me nuts. Don't get me wrong, I do value our friendship but she is one of those people who does not shut up. She just goes on and on and on and on......and on and on and on and on......and on and on and on and...well you get the picture. I've gotten to the point where I just really tune her out a lot b/c it's all the same old stuff which becomes really draining. I know I probably sound like a horrible friend but truly I am not. I'm just becoming more detached from this relationship due to the fact that I don't feel supported in this friendship nor do I feel nourished. I'm just tired of feeling mentally drained after talking with her, or shall I say after listening to her.

I had an aunt pass away towards the end of June after a long battle with cancer. She was my dad's sister, the oldest of three. I only saw her about three times in my life, twice that I can remember. She lived most of her adult life in Arizona where she was a professor at Arizona State University. There was never frequent phone calls for family chats as I was growing up. Maybe a letter or two and always a holiday card but that was about the extent of our family communication. I knew she was a smart woman and had a great job but I knew very little of her or about her. Her oldest daughter Julie wrote a wonderful memorial of her life which my dad had sent me. I never really knew that she led such an interesting life. She was apparently very smart and savvy with a great sense of style and humor. Why that part of her life was never shared while I was growing up I will never know. According to the memorial, she and her husband traveled quite a bit. Why they never traveled to Arkansas for a family visit is beyond me. She didn't even come out for my brother's funeral when he had died unexpectedly many, many years ago. At that time she had said that she & her husband were too busy with their jobs or had too many ties and were unable to get away. Or something like that. All I know that is was just a weird excuse and a really crappy way of supporting my dad aka her brother. I truly have no ill will toward her and I am glad that her suffering is over. I am very grateful that she & my dad became closer over the last couple of years as she became a comfort and counselor for my dad during the divorce crap between my parents. I just wish that she could have been a more active family member within our family unit despite the hundreds of miles that kept us apart. There is no telling what kind of impact she would have made in our corner of the world. elizinashe

What Would You Do?

What would you do if you won a crapload of money? What would you do if you had that winning lottery ticket? What if the Publisher's Clearing House people really did pull up in your driveway carrying balloons and champagne and a check with an unbelievable amount of money with your name on it? What would you do?

I've always wanted to win a sweepstakes. Even as a kid I would always urge my mom to send in whatever junkmail contest that arrived in our mailbox. I wanted our family to win that crapload of money. Not that I wanted to live in a big mansion with expensive cars or anything. I guess I realized at a young age that having that crapload of money would make life easier. We really weren't 'poor' nor did we have to struggle financially. Somehow I got the impression that it would make the household less stressful and that we would never have to worry about being broke. I've always carried some hope that some day I would win that sweepstakes that I have always wanted. Weird, eh?

Which brings me to my original point. I've been receiving some Publisher's Clearing House propaganda this past month. I can't remember the last time they sent me all this crap but being the faithful sweepstakes dreamer that I am, I can't throw it in the trash which is where it really belongs. However, they 'guarantee' that 'someone' in my area will be winning 'something'. Now how could I pass that up? I just might win something!!! I think I could choke down some champagne for a few bucks. (hahaha...I say to myself.) Yes, I know I am being ridiculous and no I haven't ordered any magazines or 'as seen on TV' crapola that comes along with all the sweepstakes propaganda. Forget that. I just want to win. Realistically I know that I won't be the winner despite their claim that I have winning numbers as long as my numbers are the ones that they choose. Yes, my current finances are tight but that is not why I choose to seek and find those silly labels mixed in with the adverts and pasted them in the proper place on my return certificate. It's that silly, dreamy child inside of me that is still wanting to win a major sweepstakes.

So what would I do if I actually won? I probably would swear in disbelief. Despite all the hoopla that is associated with a big monetary win whether it be a lottery ticket or a sweepstakes I'd still have a hard time believing it all until the initial shock wears off. Then I suppose I would cry and pee in my pants. I might even have a fainting spell and/or a panic attack. Maybe all of the above. Wouldn't that look good on live tv? Regardless, once it does all sink in my brain and that first check is deposited into my new sweepstakes account I'd be picking up my bestest girlies and jet off to the Mediterranean for a lovely trip. My treat, of course. elizinashe

Our Children's Future

Having my own struggles with attaining financial aid for a nursing program and finding extra funds and loans to mend the cost it makes me frightful for the next generation who want to go to college. Apparently, being paid $11.47 an hour is deemed 'too much' according to my taxes to be awarded any 'free money' to help pay for an RN degree which would make me a much more productive member of society. HUH?? What a hard blow. One two week paycheck pretty much eats up my rent. All other monies earned go to other bills and then some. I will be lucky if I get the maximum amount that I applied for in school loans from a measly community college. I am now in the waiting game for school loans as my deadline to pay for it all comes near. Which brings me to my original thought.

As I watch the news there is more talk about Social Security being delayed and without increases in pay, the national debt ceiling in disarray and the economy as a whole still in a stagnant existence. Many budget cuts across our nation within our schools, adjunct teachers laid off, resources limited, extra curricular classes cut and college tuition increased per hour whether it be a four year institution or a small community college. And limited seats available for students young and old for above said educational opportunities. It leaves me frightened for our young children who are already struggling to succeed as a student who come from your typical middle class household. We cannot forget those children who hold so much potential but yet have so many roadblocks that they cannot control that they become discouraged and therefore just 'give up'. Some come from screwed up parents, poor living conditions or they have a learning/physical disability which does not discount their potential. Yes, some children will not be as successful as we expect them to be. But given the state of today's times how does a family of 'normaltiy' even begin to pay for college or hope for a fruitful education as they grow and hopefully graduate from high school? How do children who come from disadvantaged circumstances become successful?

I was a pretty good student. I think I had some ADD stuff going on but that was before being labeled ADD/ADHD was popular. Yes, I certainly believe that I have some processing issues due to a hereditary disease which slows me down when I really need to concentrate incoming info. Yes, I know that I have some anxiety issues which I have seen in my father but mine also stems from survivors guilt which is a whole other story that I won't divulge. However, it does not make me stupid nor an nonproductive member of society. But all that said still makes it difficult to prove and requires a lot of red tape which I just don't have the patience for in order to potentially get more funding for a stupid two year program in the nursing field which could take me to higher realms not only for myself but for the community as well. So if I have this much trouble to pay for a two year program then what does the future hold for our young kids who want an education when they leave high school? I know it wasn't this hard when I went to college the first time around many moons ago. So why is it so hard now? I thought this was America where anything can happen. How hard will it be for our children in the next 10 years? 20 years? Where will America and our educational system be at that point? What do you think? Just asking.... I guess I should stop watching the news, eh? elizinashe

Ask And Ye Shall Receive

How do you cope through troubling times? Do you pray or do you just muster through the muck and mire hoping to find the light at the end of the tunnel? Do you rely on a higher power or do you rely on your own self to find a resolution? What if all that you do still doesn't give you the end result you are looking for?

I am no stranger to prayer and I surely thank God for the little things that come my way even if it's the smallest reminder that all will be okay in my world. Lately I've been doing a lot of praying and trying with all my might that my faith will carry me through. There are times when I feel like I'm struggling and then I just 'let go' and all ends up being well in the end. Right now I'm having trouble in just 'letting go'. What I hate about it the most is that it's mostly rooted in money, or lack there of right now and school is getting closer by the minute. Yes, I am happy about finally going to nursing school but the waiting game for financial aid is really bothering me, plus knowing that my hours will be cut which will hurt the paycheck, which affects my monthly bills plus knowing that I will be paying extra for my healthcare b/c I will be a part-time status instead of full-time status. Why should anyone be punished for being a part-time employee when it comes to health care is beyond me but so be it. I can't change that.

I re-read a book that a friend of mine told me about last year called The Game of Life and How to Play It. This book was originally written in 1925 but her words of wisdom clearly had a hold on people back then and those same words still have some gumption for this day and age. In essence what the author says that whatever you dish out you will receive the same. Good & bad. If you want something then throw it out there in the universe and then make efforts to have the faith and the opportunity that it will come to you. If it is meant to be then all will be well. If it doesn't happen for you then that just means that whatever you asked for wasn't yours to begin with and that God has a different plan. Sounds familiar I am sure, however it's always nice to be reminded of good karma.

Thirteen years ago I was wanting to move from Arkansas to Asheville as I had fallen in love with the city and it's mountains the previous summer. Not knowing jack shit, I had it in my mind that I was going. I had already put my name on a waitlist for an apartment that I had seen once and it was twice what I was paying in Arkansas but I did it anyway. That was in February. I began collecting boxes and saving up money. Early in the spring I began to pack a few things that I really didn't need and threw out other stuff that I no longer needed. I had no job waiting for me in Asheville and I knew only two people who lived there. All I had was faith that I was going. I came home from work one day to find a message on my machine letting me know that a one bedroom apartment was going to be available in May and did I want that apartment since I was on the waitlist. My belief and having the faith that I was moving brought me the biggest change I could have ever imagined. It was one of the best things I have ever done for myself. And I've lived here in Asheville ever since.

Now I am at another cross-road as I enter another phase of my life and I struggle with keeping my faith that all will turn out the way that it should as it did for my eventual move thirteen years ago. What I struggle with the most is the 'not knowing' how it's all going to work out. I feel trapped in my progress which I haven't felt in a very long time. It's very frustrating. It weighs heavy on my psyche but I pray a lot and struggle with all my might to keep the faith. I know it always works out in the end but the journey through this tunnel before I find the light is driving me nuts. So I re-read my book, made a list of what I need from the Universe and throw caution to the wind. Like the storm that is brewing outside my windows right now, this too shall pass. I have yet to discover what the next journey of my life will be like but I hope it will be good as the first thirteen years I've had in Asheville. There's always light at the end of the tunnel. elizinashe

Who Are You?

How well do you know yourself? I mean really know yourself? And do you let your real self guide you? Do you let that other side of your brain dictate your decisions & desires or do you come back down to earth and live in reality? Just a few thoughts on my brain tonight.

I know myself fairly well. I've had plenty of years behind me so the older I get the better I become. I believe that. But sometimes I feel like I allow the dreamy side of me override what's in front of me and then I become disappointed. I feel like I've broken a lot of bad habits, along with starting new ones but I do recognize negative patterns. The hard part is when I start back in a negative pattern it becomes harder to break. Or so it seems. I know for a fact that I am a much better person than I was when I was in my 20s. I make way better decisions. I know for a fact that I am a much better person than I was 10 years ago and even 5 years ago. I have grown a lot since then. But sometimes life just throws such a kink in your plans that it just leaves you wondering 'what the fuck?'. Pardon my french here folks.

I know I am on to bigger and better things. That is a fact. But my insecurities and lack of confidence in how I will handle and manipulate my future scares the crap out of me. I know in the end that I will be okay but I can't help that the 'not knowing' factor is making me feel like crap. Ergo the self-destructive talk runs through my head. Which is so stupid but I just can't help it. Why does it have to be so hard? I have faith that is will all work out in the end. I am hopeful that all my aspirations and dreams will come true despite all these roadblocks that I have encountered the last 8 years or so. (It can't last forever, right?) I am thankful for really, really good friends. I am thankful for brief periods of romance that make me feel special because I know I am special. I am thankful for great co-workers who keep me laughing. I am thankful for a really good glass of wine. (maybe too much, haha.) I wouldn't trade any of that for anything.

But there are times when I feel like I am just scrambling to keep myself afloat. I guess there's a part of me that's in that space right now. I find joy in the little things and continue to hope for the best. I haven't given up on all my dreams at this point because my dreams are what keep me going. But the realistic side of me tells me different sometimes and that makes me quite angry. I have few regrets in my life but then again that's a part of life isn't it?

So how well do you know yourself? How do you drudge through the hard times when your brain spins like a hamster in his wheel going round and round and round without getting anywhere? Do you repeat mistakes and stick with your patterned behavior or do you think outside of the box? Do you recognize when you do start repeating mistakes and try to correct that behavior or do you just ride out the storm? How well do you know yourself? And after trying for so long do you keep trying or do you just give up and change the game plan altogether? Just curious.

I know that this post may not be completely coherent, flowing or sticking to original topic but that doesn't matter really. I had about three different directions to go with this post but instead of overthinking I just started to type away. So there you go. So how well do you know yourself? What mistakes do you repeat and what are you doing to change those mistakes? Just a thought. elizinashe

Weiner Roast

I kinda feel sorry for this guy. With a name like Weiner he was jinxed from the start. However it doesn't excuse his behavior. What was he thinking? Clearly he was thinking with the wrong head. (ahem.) You would think a man in his position would be more careful of what he posts on the world wide web. Did he actually think he wouldn't get caught? What a jackass.....at least Tiger didn't prey upon teenagers. What a perv. Now I am certain that in it's true origin his name would be 'Veener' as the name suggest a German nature. Even still, the name 'Veener' still has a bad connotation attached to it. Now he's seeking some 'time off' for some therapy. Whatever. That's just to make his image look better. He's still a perv. At least some of the heat is off Schwarzengger. Maybe the two of them should fly off to the Playboy mansion and soothe ol' Hef's heart since he just got jilted at the alter. I see a tv movie in the future about those three. It could be a new Three Stooges! 'Politics & Penises: The real Playboy Story'. hahahaha.....Never mind the economy, lets talk about power hungry men with problems about keeping their member in their pants! Now that's some real entertainment! Just a thought folks. elizinashe

The Waiting Game

The beginning of spring gave me much hope and promise. It seemed that all was working out and my social activities were fun and exciting which was a much welcomed relief after such a crappy winter. Now we are getting into the summer months with hot weather and all the newness of spring has worn out.

I'm feeling very frustrated and trapped. I'm feeling quite angry, confused, lost and disappointed in many aspects of my life. I still have hope for school and that's a good thing however the waiting game for financial aid is really pissing me off. I've been turned down for 3 scholarships that I have applied for and I have yet to know how much of a loan I can qualify for. I feel like I'm on shaky ground work-wise because I have gotten zero feedback from our new supervisor about changing my schedule and being supported as an employee in my new endeavor. Of course my co-workers are all excited for me but I have no idea what our management team has to say about the matter. My working hours will be cut which affects my household budget which really frightens me. I've been looking for cheaper places to live but the success rate is slim right now. ARRRGGGG!!!!!

The spring romance that was seemingly going well came to an abrupt stop. Not even a breakup conversation about it all. What a pig. I just don't get it. I'm not devastated nor am I heartbroken. I'm just really pissed off! It's like he became a completely different person overnight. Not even a single reply from any of my text messages or voicemails. I never expected the relationship to be long lasting but I sure as hell expected an adult conversation about parting ways. Clearly I was wrong. Jackass.

Money is so tight right now that I fear I will begin to go into debt, mostly due to lack of knowing what kind of funds I will receive for school. I hate being trapped by money. I try to keep my errands quick and simple so I don't waste gas and I try to eat at home as much as I can but I'm so sick of my typical food choices that I just don't have an appetite. I really want a smart phone b/c I know some of the applications that are available will help me school wise but I just can't afford the monthly plan right now. I've never been in a position where I had to worry about my finances so much and that really pisses me off and makes me feel disappointed. What in the hell have I done with my life and where did I fuck up? That's what's been going on in my head lately. Where did I fuck up? Such a cheery post, eh? I'm afraid to even attempt a vacation b/c I know what I have in my lousy savings account will be going towards school and other bills. I hate money. I've turned down two opportunities to have a vacation but I'm just not comfortable in allowing someone else foot my bill. It's a grand gesture but in the end I feel like it will be a big mistake.

Okay, so what do I do now? I had such grand faith three months ago and now I feel it's gone out the window. I hate feeling trapped like this. It's driving me nuts. Again, such a cheery and optimistic post I'm dishing out today. I'll do better next time. Cheers. elizinashe

Spring Festivities

Spring has sprung which makes me one happy girl. My social calendar has seemingly sprung up out of the winter's ground as well. I can't remember a time when I was so popular. It's good to be needed I guess.

My dad was in town for a couple of weeks for a short visit with me and an attempt to reconnect with my mom. Although the outcome was not what he had wanted I think he had a good visit regardless. Although it's hard to be around my father sometimes I know one day I will miss our Sunday lunches. He came bearing gifts of toilet paper and laundry detergent. Eight bottles to be exact. He cracks me up. He likes to bargain shop for essential items and I get the end result. Clearly he's been planning this trip for a while since I ended up with 18 rolls of toilet paper and eight jugs of Tide. Now if he had brought more then I'd be questioning some hoarding issues. Good thing he's still in therapy right now. Haha.....Thank You Dad, I love you!

I had a friend blast through town this past weekend for a quick 3 day jaunt around town. There was much food, a few libations and lots of picture taking with a little power nap snuck in before dinner. Hitting the downtown area was the first venue our first day out. Great weather and great street performers. I scored some tickets to the Biltmore Estate for the following day. If you haven't been there then you need to go. It certainly is an amazing place to see and it is definitely a photographers dream. And you will spend the whole day there so have no fear! I haven't been in years and it was the first time that I have gone when the spring flowers were bloomed out in all their glory. It really was spectacular. We ended our tour at the hotel that was built on the grounds a few years back, sipping on over-priced drinks sitting out on a veranda looking out towards the mountains. It was a great way to end the afternoon.

I bought tickets for our local symphony for their May concert. When I saw the line up earlier this fall I saw that they were performing Rachmaninoffs Piano Concerto #3. Man, oh man I can't wait for this one. The 'Rach 3' as it is dubbed is one monster piece of music and I love it!! It's a killer and I am certain that I will end up peeing in my pants, crying or both. And the beauty of it as I was splurging on pricey tickets close to the stage I ended up getting on ticket for free!!! Can I get a Hallelujah?? Woo-hoo! I think I'll surprise my mom and take her as my date. The concert is the night before Mother's Day so the timing couldn't be more perfect. Aren't I a good daughter?

My lovely E and her boys will be in town in early May for a friend's wedding. YEA!! I miss her terribly and I cannot wait to smother her in hugs and kisses. Good thing she has a wonderful husband that doesn't mind that I want to steal her away. However, their son is so edible that I might just keep him here with me. There might be some protest but I am certain we can make a compromise. I'm looking forward to our time together with all three. Good friends are hard to find and the really good ones I hold dearly to my heart. And that's the truth.

So there ya go folks. Hope your spring has bloomed with good peeps, beautiful flowers and new adventures. See ya later! elizinashe

Just Stuff

Ever have many ideas to write about but you never put your fingers to the keyboard? I have many of those moments. Most of my blog ideas come when I'm trying to fall asleep and I tell myself to remember the thought of blog when it's not so late and I'm off work. Rarely does this happen. Procrastination, perhaps? I dunno. I really don't want to get in the habit of writing late in the night when I should be catching some zzz's due to work. I typically get out of bed by 5am on work days and boy does that alarm come early! Maybe I'll just start writing late at night anyway. I've been having trouble sleeping lately and I do believe there will be many late nights in my future burning the midnight oil for my impending studies. I guess we will just have to wait and see. At least I blogged before the late night news today. Haha.....elizinashe

Well, It Happened

Apparently the third time is a charm for me. I have been accepted into the LPN program here at the local community college and I am currently on the waiting list for the Rn program, both which start this fall. I knew when I checked my mail today that the fat envelope from the school was going to be good news. I was on my way to run an errand so didn't open it up until I reached the parking lot. I needed the short drive to prep myself as my mind was already spinning. Needless to say my errand was uneventful as I was in shock and quite distracted.

I quickly looked over all the paperwork that was sent and stuffed everything back into the envelope. So much to do already! Physicals, blood work, Hep B injections, mandatory meetings and a photo. Or something like that. I just couldn't bring myself to read over every little detail just yet. That's on the agenda for tomorrow. Right now I'm still processing. I don't think it's quite hit me just yet although the few peeps I have told so far have given me praises and congratulations which makes it a bit more real. Yes, I'm excited but slightly terrified at the same time. It's going to be a whole different ball game now. So long social life, goodbye bank account and hello migraine. Cheers! elizinashe

Stuff

So far March has been a cool, sunny start into what's hopefully a lovely spring season. I'm ready for naked toes and t-shirts. Especially since I have found a couple of new tees to show off. Bring on the sunshine I say!

Margaritas & I get along quite well. Actually, too well. It's like Kool-Aid to me, it just goes down all too quickly. I love that tarty flavor. Forget the salt, it just gets in the way of the drink. I try to limit myself but then when you begin to run into old bar peeps and they offer to buy you a drink, then naturally you thankfully accept. Next thing you know you're on that tequila high and you feel mighty fine. At least I didn't do any drunk dialing.

Gas prices are climbing once again with the prediction of hitting five dollars a gallon by Memorial Day. Gas went up 25 cents in one day. It's now up to $3.46 as of last night. Totally sucks. And with the gas prices climbing, so will groceries, restaurant prices, dry goods and so on. It will cost more to send trucks out to pick up and deliver goods and therefore hurting those even more who are struggling to make ends meet. Will our economy ever get better and what's to become of those families who are hurting financially already? I hope for better days but the reality of that scares me.

I missed a deadline in regards to 'scholarship' through work if I get accepted into the nursing program. I'm not really mad about it. I kind of have a 'don't care' attitude. I do care about the nursing school but I'm not worried about the money part of it right now. I'll stress about that later. I guess winter really did take a toll on my mentality and work kept me quite distracted. Sometimes when you don't try to control things in the way you want them to be then the chips fall exactly where you want them to be. I'm just gonna have to go with that.

Taxes are done. What a pain in the ass. It took me a good couple of hours to load everything up and start clicking away. Good thing is that I will be getting a federal refund which is needed however I have to pay the state of North Carolina this year. Although it's only $21 I'm still kind of peeved about this. Last year I got a whopping refund of $9 which was fine but I don't understand what's changed this year. I'm still on the low end of the totem pole salary wise so why am I having to pay state taxes this year? What a bummer.

I'm coining a new phrase. We've all heard 'going postal' in regards to erratic behavior. Being that Charlie Sheen has made a complete ass of himself it has given the media and the general public much to talk about. So I'm gonna start using Mr. Sheen's antics for starting a new catch phrase. "Don't make me go all Charlie Sheen on you!" What do you think? Catchy don't ya think? Just a thought. Cheers for a sunny March and no more margaritas. elizinashe

Quick Picks

Our weather here the last few days have been lovely. So nice that I've busted out the sandals and even wore a t-shirt. Ahhh.....such a nice relief in the middle of winter. I even played with some dirt and planted an indoor plant that I received from a friend over Valentine's Day and cleared out my outdoor spring pots for future planting. Can't wait until continuous warmer weather so I can come home to flowers on my doorstep.

So the 'Beibs' didn't win any Grammys this year. Boo-hoo. Please allow me to stop typing so I may wipe away a tear or two...sniff, sniff. Although I know very little about the real winner, Esperanza Spalding, what I have seen on the internet was way groovy. This girl definitely deserved her award. She's got more class and staying power than some snot nosed Canadian teen. And upon searching for more info about Esperanza I also came across another lady, Laura Izibor, who we will surely be hearing more about. Got to love the surprise upsets. Granted I'm not some 13 year-old girl anymore but even if I were, I doubt that I'd be digging Beiber when we've got some great stuff coming out of these ladies. I never was one to follow the trendy vibe anyway.

I came across two separate internet news feeds regarding food. One was the best pies across America and the other, just in time for Valentine's day, was the most romantic dinner spots. Both articles made my mouth water and my mind wander. Now if I come across the best breweries and wineries then I'm doomed. I'd be roping my friends and fiends alike in a cross-country trip eating & sampling at said establishments east-to-west and gaining 20lbs. in the process. However, taking a vacation with a group of peeps with your soul purpose was to check out the best pie places ever and best romantic restaurants across the States sounds pretty cool. It would certainly make for a good story to tell your kids some day.

One of my co-workers showed me an interactive weather radar website. You can see where it's raining, snowing, cloud cover and even earthquakes. Which of course was our focus of that day. We've always known that certain places on Earth have had mini-quakes, however according to this map, there is some shaking going on almost everyday. Even in Arkansas! Yes, my home state has been vibrating lately which is quite surprising. It's even beginning to hit the internet news, which I already knew because I've been looking at this map for the last few days. It's quite a show to see. Lots of dots peppering the map documenting the last quake. I guess it just goes to show you that the Earth is not done growing. Crazy, man. If you want to have a look see for yourself then check out intellicast.com. Pretty cool stuff. elizinashe

Just Blogging

Blah, blah, blah... want to write but don't have too much to say. Cobwebs in the brain. So Christina flubbed the National Anthem at the Superbowl. Big whoop. She's human leave her alone. Stop beating this story into the ground. The Black Eyed Peas sucked. I think they sound a lot better in the studio vs. a live performance but that's just me. Bring me some Dave Matthews to bring the house down. His band would just play their hearts out instead of having so much hoopla dancing around the stage. Of course I'm slightly partial to Dave....oh well.

Chilly, blue skies today with snow in the forecast. "Yea" I say with a sarcastic tone in my voice. I've had enough! Not much use in taking pictures because bleak, leafless trees just aren't attractive to me. Greenless mountaintops are beginning to be depressing. Sick of winter. At least I'm not living in Chicago or up in the northeast somewhere. Sheesh! I would have gone plumb crazy by now.

Sick of cooking and trying to keep healthy meals around on a small budget. Cooking for one totally sucks. Sick of my 'standards' and sick of soup. Singlehood is beginning to suck big ones. I miss coming home and sharing my day with someone. Jealous of my friends who have that in their lives and their weekend getaways to happier places. Why can't I be one of those people? I am happy for my friends who have that something special in their lives but now it's my turn don't ya think? Yes, it's a pity party for me....hahahaha.....

Work continues to be screwy. I want to update my resume in hopes of being placed somewhere else without taking a cut in pay. I still miss bartending sometimes. Sometimes I wish I could find a part-time gig somewhere to help supplement my income. Stranger things have happened....I guess I should be careful of what I ask for, eh?

I will know in March whether I will be accepted into the nursing program here. Keep your fingers crossed. I will certainly be happy and probably cry a good bit if I do get the 'green light' and then the panic will ensue. The idea of it all gives me hope but it also terrifies me. I pray that the money Gods will bless me to help pay for it all and my bills to keep me housed. One of my co-workers paid nearly $1200 for one book. That's nearly one month's of bills for me. Sheesh! I'd have to go puke after I pay for all my books. Sad that getting an education costs so fucking much these days. What does the future hold for our children when it comes to paying for school? Scary.

Okay, so that's it. I blogged. End of story. elizinashe.

Grrr!!!!

This picture cracks me up. I stole it from a friend who had also stole it from one of his friends. Sometimes thieving can be fun. I'd like to have my own set of these bunnies. I see some online shopping in my future.

Not much else to brag about. Just sloshing through the melting snow these days and getting mentally prepared for the next wave of winter weather because we all know that's it's not over. (sigh.) If I were a rich woman I'd be planning an island vacation right now. Maybe next year. My toes cannot wait for that first warm day so they can be naked again.

Other quick topics for reading pleasure:

• Hecubus-he's such a good kitty despite the way he treats visitors. He's got it made living with me and he knows it. He's all about the flannel sheets on the bed and has even propped himself amongst the pillows while he buries the rest of his body under the covers when I'm not there. Maybe he's evolving into a human. As I try to fall asleep, Hecubus will get all up into my shoulder area to cuddle and stretch his front paws around my neck and into my hair to keep his paws warm as if I am his personal muffler, while his whiskers tickle my face keeping me awake. That's all fine & dandy but their will come a day when I have my own personal bed warmer/muffler to cuddle with and Hecubus will not be happy about that! Gentlemen be warned! He will protest and make noise as he has done in the past. Funny how pets can be sometimes.
  

• The Golden Globes & impending Oscars-I've always liked watching award shows such as these. Even the Grammy Awards which involves music but that's not so surprising if you really know me. I like to see how far the emcee is going to push the monologues and other introductions. I like seeing who's wearing what and live vicariously through the glamor. I've always wanted to throw an Oscar party with my guests dressed up like the stars, serve drinks and snooty appetizers. I think it would be fun to have my guests fill out ballots to vote on who they think will win and have party favors for those who guessed the right winners. I even have a plan to ensure that the nominated movies can be seen first before the big event. Perhaps that can be my creative endeavor for this coming year....

• Mom & Dad-things have been well. Last year was certainly difficult for both but it seems that my dad is settling into a different life fairly well. He even drove with his brother up to Colorado for my cousins wedding. Why those two opted to drive from the deep heart of Texas where my uncle lives all the way up to the Rockies is beyond me. The drive was very long but I guess it gave them some good bonding time. I'm really glad that my dad went out on this adventure. He still asks me about mom when we talk and I know he still loves her but at least he's moving on in small steps. I guess that's a good thing. I just thankful that he's in a better space.

So that's about it ya'll. What's new in your corner of the world? elizinashe

Snowy Adventures

I woke up Monday morning to about 8 inches of snow in my yard with more snow to continue throughout the day and possibly into Tuesday depending how long this winter storm was to linger. The weathermen had predicted this storm to come through early enough which allowed time to prepare and slam the grocery stores along with every other idiot. I was especially grateful that I was not scheduled to go back to work until Thursday of this week which meant I didn't have to go in early for my shift nor did I have to sleep on the unit when they called a mandatory code for staff to stay. Woo-hoo!

After a nice sleep I got my priorities in order and began some household duties, grocery store items, gas in the car and ice melt on my porch. I was ready. Once Monday came around all I had to do was shower, get dressed and relax. Some people like to go out & play after a big snow and build a snowman. Others drive up the mountain to do some skiing and snowboarding. Brave ones go out & drive around town looking for open restaurants & bars. For me, I just like to hang out at home and play around in my tiny little kitchen cooking up warm, comfort foods and enjoy a really nice meal. (paired with a glass of wine of course.)

So far I've had tomato-zucchini soup (which actually came from Whole Foods) with a turkey sandwich, leftover curry which I did make and last night's fare was a salmon pinwheel with asparagus and some risotto. Tonight is a new recipe to test which I'm pretty excited about. Laugh all you want. Testing out something new in my kitchen has always brought me joy. Yes, I'm a foodie but in a good way. I've got a pot of Lentil Chili simmering away on my little stove and the aroma is warm and comforting in this little house. Can't wait until it's done. Tomorrow will be some good old-fashioned Jambalaya. I already cooked up the anduille yesterday so I'm one step ahead. Yes, I could have made my own snowman in my yard but spending time in my neglected little kitchen has given me more happiness than being outside in the freezing cold. And the beauty of all this cooking is the leftovers which I will happily take to work this weekend and enjoy my self-induced cooking slavery over the last 3 days. I might not be so lucky to be at home for the next snow storm so I plan on enjoying every creation that comes out of my kitchen. Bon Appetite! elizinashe

2011

Happy New Year!

The ringing in of the new year brings new resolutions, promises to keep, goals to achieve, fresh attitudes and new fears.  I'm not one to make resolutions however I usually make a list of things that I wish to 'happen' or bring into my life for the coming year.  I've decided to adjust my attitude and just let go of the negative crap in my life that seems to infiltrate my being.  Some things I cannot change but I can change the way I handle all that negativity.  It does nothing but bring me down and I'm tired of feeling crappy.  Not that this whole past year was bad but I allow the 'bad chi' to dictate a little too much.  Not anymore.  

Getting back on the exercise wagon is on the agenda as well.  I have a great treadmill that I bought 6 months ago for a whopping $25 that has done nothing but collect dust.  Hmmm.....I hate to dust, therefore maybe I should start using it more so the dust won't have time to settle.  Seems that simple, eh?  I did sign up for some personal training classes this past summer and really enjoyed it for the most part but my budget just would not allow for it so I dropped out.  It was a great outlet and gave me some confidence back that my former body strength hasn't completely gone out the window.  But I still need to get back into the groove of a healthy lifestyle.  I miss being sore from a good workout.  It was proof that I was challenging my body again and burning up the fat and regaining my muscles.  I want that again.  I'd rather complain about how sore I feel than how fat I feel.  

It's so very hard to stick to plans such as this.  Although this is just a sliver of what I hope to accomplish for the year I don't want to lose my motivation.  It's all too easy to fall off the radar and give up.  How many resolutions have you started and completed?  Easy to say, hard to do.  However, if you allow the negativity to bring you down then you will fail.  I think one key is to find your cheerleader to help keep you motivated.  Have a cheerleader to remind you of what your goals are and remind you of how much you are loved.  A little encouragement can go a long way.  My cheerleaders are spread out across the globe but at least I have cheerleaders.  

So my readers, what are some of your goals for 2011?  What do you want to happen for you this year?  Yes, some things you will not be able to change and yes you will get discouraged, however you still have the power to make this year what you want it to be.  2010 pretty much sucked and I'm glad it's gone.  I refuse to allow all things negative and negative people to bring me down.  Bring it on I say and let's get on with it!  elizinashe