Of Boyfriends Past....

Isn't Anything About Attitude? 

I had an old boyfriend contact me the other day.  He's been in town over the holidays to visit family and his children.  We had dated briefly a couple of years back and then he just 'disappeared' one day.  Never heard from again.  At least for a while.  

I know I had written about this previously when all this had happened at the time, so I will spare you the details.  I guess what it all boils down to is that I never harbored any 'ill will' towards him nor do I regret meeting him again a year later for a couple of drinks to catch up and 'clear the air' so to speak.  We both had new endeavors at that time so a relationship would have never been fruitful, and for that I am thankful.  

So we met today for a late lunch and a couple of beers.  It was good to catch up with each other and share our progresses as he has had some of his own successes that he had worked so hard to obtain.  He's still a nice dude but wanting an intimate relationship with him again is just out of the question.  It's just no longer in the cards and I know we both have bigger fish to fry.  However, I think we are both adult enough to keep a friendship across the miles with a meet and drink occasions when he's in town.  That we can do.  

A few years ago my 'live in boyfriend' from over 15 years ago sent me a 'friend request' on Facebook.  Now that was a shock.  Didn't see that one coming.  I had loved him with all my being, and the relationship ended very badly.  I was brokenhearted and did not date for a very long time, not to mention allow any man get too close to me as I just did not want to risk heartache like that again.  
( I have changed that by the way...)

I ignored his 'friend request' for a couple of weeks and then he sent me a personal message.  I had long forgotten about him and moved on with my life, living a life that I had always hoped.  A life that I am certain would not have had if we had stayed together.  Regardless, I had moved on from all that hurt and felt like maybe he needed to clear his conscience.  My hatred for him had long past so I saw no harm in accepting his request.  We sent a couple of messages back and forth, the kind where we fill in with each other what has happened in our lives after the breakup.  That sort of thing.  He's still on my friend list and on occasion we 'like' each other's post or picture. 

Most relationships that end badly remain in that horrible place.  I am in awe of couples who can remain friends after the fact.  I think that's a good thing.  Especially if there are children involved.  Maybe I'm one of them.  Minus the kid factor.  Yes, there are some boyfriends that I really don't want to hear from, but the others I wouldn't mind a little 'catch up'.  Hopefully they are all happy and have had successes of their own.  Maybe they have kids.  Regardless, I think it takes a lot of will power and forgiveness to overcome heartache.  I think I've learned that as I've gotten older.  And I hope you have too.  It certainly feels better to throw away all those horrible, hateful feelings toward a former flame and I know my mind is at peace because I have thrown away all those horrible, hateful feelings.  And when you do purge all that negativity I think it opens the door for that relationship that is meant for you to explore.  I believe in that.  I hope you do as well.  Until next time, cheers!  elizinashe