Why does the dating world have to be so difficult? Why can't it be more black and white instead of one big guessing game and disappointment? Now don't get me wrong. I'm not in the dating world as of yet nor have I had my heart broken recently but the dating world is opening up to a degree and I have forgotten what a tangled web can be spun. I wonder if it was just as tricky way back in the 'olden days' when the courtship was more innocent. Were women just as bitchy? Were men assholes back then? Makes me wonder given the generation and era of our society. Wouldn't it be nice just to experience a nice cup of coffee without the apprehension of physical expectations?
Speaking of 'courtship', apparently the Duggar daughters aren't allowed to 'date' but are to be 'courted'. Who are the Duggars you say? They are that family in northwest Arkansas that have 19 children, all of whom are their own and not adopted, that stick to some very old school values and teachings. They are devoted to their religion and all the children have been home schooled. Now, with that being said, it does not surprise me that they would want their daughters to be 'courted'. However, my understanding is that they aren't allowed to kiss or even really touch each other. Sometimes a 'side hug' and maybe holding hands but that's about it from what I gather. So, how does a courtship really prepare you for an intimate relationship? Especially in this day and age when we are so bombarded with sexuality and modern technology. I'm all for the buildup and 'waiting for the moment' which adds to the passion, but I do like to kiss and if I'm not allowed to kiss while I am dating-slash-courting some guy then I would certainly explode at some point, giving into my desires and speed up the 'got to have sex' part of the relationship, which we all know having sex too soon can be a relationship killer. But I guess there is some sweet aspect of the courtship. I do believe you end up building on the relationship itself and learn how to communicate before all that sex stuff, which would be a great benefit for any couple.
So back to the dating thing. How do you tell a nice guy that you're just not interested? This one man certainly is persistent but not in a creepy way. He goes to my local hangout and we usually end up chatting for a bit. He's bought my dinner much to my surprise a couple of times already. Sigh....I do appreciate the gesture and being treated but I don't want to lead him on. He's really not my type but he's a really nice guy, or so it seems at this point. I just don't want to dive into a dating relationship with this dude. I've got other priorities right now and starting a dating relationship would just end badly. It would be different if he was a total jackass or a slobbering drunk. But he's not. He's just a good old country boy who wants to take me to dinner. Geeze....
I'm really trying not to spend extra money as I am coming closer to getting some new digs and I will need the money for all that extra expense that comes with ownership. However, I had to get out and pick up a gift for a friend who has completed her nursing degree and will get 'pinned' this Friday. She had started with our class and then left in our second year due to some personal stuff that was getting in the way. She had reapplied the following fall to finish up and I have been cheerleading her all the way. I really had hoped that she would have graduated with our team but sometimes life takes over and you just have to stop and readjust. Now, she is all past that and more. I am so damn excited for her! We finally got together earlier tonight to catch up and celebrate. I was looking forward to it all day long. It was a really good reunion. My other studymates and I are going to see her at the pinning ceremony. Us girls have got to stick together! We all suffered together and now we get to celebrate together. Woo hoo!
So, it's been a busy couple of days. Recovering from the nights to become a day person again and now I get to do it all over again. My sleep cycle is all messed up but that's okay. It's been worth it so far, at least I think. Haha....my brain hasn't been right since the first semester of nursing school so what do I really know? At least my brain is still intact enough to dive into my new book. I read seven chapters the first day I bought it. And that's saying something! I've never been one to read calmly or quietly for very long but I've been waiting for this author to release this follow-up and it's kept me in stitches and kept most of my concentration. If you haven't read anything my Christopher Moore then you are missing out on some fine entertainment.
So that's about it for this epic post. I guess becoming a real night owl has had its benefits for me. It's given me time to write a bit more and plot my new endeavor. Hopefully, I will merge into the dating world with confidence once I get squared away and with the one that is right just for me. I do like a little romance. And kissing.
elizinashe
I have a really good friend who uses the word "random" quite often. A lot of the times he morphs it into "randomness". I gave him a really hard time because he was using that word for what seems like everything. And I do mean a lot. It's even the title of his blog. I gave him the challenge to find other words to describe his nonspecific musings. He kept it up for a good bit but now I will steal that word from his mindset to post the random bits of my life.
I am one step closer to obtaining my new digs. I've been super stressed about it and I have hurdled one milestone so there is very little that could prevent my small success. Or at least I hope so. I have to have faith that all will work out well in it's own random way. I had total faith in the beginning, even bought a couple of things for the new place and then things got sticky and angry. I feel like I am past that storm. I am beginning to get anxious and I just want those new keys. I want to start moving boxes so that my current living area can feel more comfortable while I transition. My small little place where I live now is just a mess, mostly because I have boxes of books from school, a really small (insert curse word here) kitchen that I absolutely loathe at this point not to forget I have absolutely no storage space. I have the 'I want to buy a bunch of new stuff ' fever. I want a new bed. I need a small kitchen table so I don't have to eat on the couch anymore. I want to set up a guest bedroom. I want. I want. I want. However, I just need to get the basics so I can be move-in ready and function. And priority will be a washer and dryer as that is the only thing I really need to purchase to complete the new living quarters. I have plenty at this point. To quote Dave, "What I want is what I not got. What I need is all around me." I need to remember that.
My cat has not been doing so well lately. It really worries me. He's 18 years old now. That's pretty good for a cat. He's been such a great loving buddy and it hurts me to know that his life may be coming to an end. That's going to really kill me. I hope he carries on for another couple of years. I think a nice even 20 years of life would be a really good run. I can't wait for him to see the new place too. Cats are really funny. You change up the environment and they will be really weird and cautious for a couple of weeks until they get used to the new routine. However, there will be tons more space than we have now and plenty of windows to look out of and sit in the window sill. I think he'd really dig all the space to roam. Not to mention new places to hide especially once I get the guest bedroom set up. He will have a whole new bed to bury himself in while I'm away. haha...
I've been listening to the iHeartRadio a lot lately since I don't have a lot of music on my new computer yet. I refuse to transfer everything from my old pute to the new one. I want a clean slate. Start fresh. But being that I must have music playing when I'm home, I've used the iHeart pretty much daily now. I like doing the 'custom stations' so I don't have to listen to commercials from other random stations. I've never been a fan of talk radio. I do like listening to DJs from time to time but it can be a bit much and the commercials just interrupt the music flow. Apologies to my friend who makes radio commercials for a living, however I think he would understand. We both have a passion for music so he gets my logic. Speaking of custom stations, if you like rhythm and blues, you should check out Susan Tedeschi. She just rocks. I've been stuck on her for the last week or so. And the other artists that pop up on her 'station' are just as groovy. I've seen her perform twice many moons ago and I hope to see her again. She puts on a super groovy show. Must put that on my bucket list and keep the faith.
So that's about it folks. Just some random stuff. I've had other topics to write about but I just don't feel like diving into all of that just yet. Too many to sort in my head so maybe it's just better to toss it out of my creative realm and keep it simple. I tend to talk too much anyway so those posts will probably be too epic to keep you entertained. I'm trying my best to keep it all plain and simple. Life is too short to make it complicated. Peace out. I'm done for the day. elizinashe
As the trees are becoming more green and the bushes are popping out so are my allergies. It's a never ending battle to which will have some sort of end at some point. We've got some rain coming and potentially some severe storms but at least the air will get a good washing.
The night shift stuff has really messed up my sleep this past weekend. This has been my weekend 'off' to which I totally took instead of working extra but my expectations of being productive or getting outside to enjoy the beautiful allergy laiden spring weather kinda took a back burner. However, I did make it to a local eatery for a big fat omelette and found a couple of cute things for my future new digs. On the flip side, my current place is a wreck. I don't even want to get into the details. It's just a mess and I'm not all that motivated to clean it all up until I get some of this junk out of the way. This whole moving process will be a total love/hate issue. Hopefully more love than the hate part.
Speaking of moving, the process of getting into my new place is going along well except for one hiccup to which helped keep me up all night Friday. Geeze...To keep it simple, it's one little thing that my mother needs to do but she keeps skirting around it which really pisses me off. I have helped her in the past to keep her property and in a way, was manipulated in doing so but being the surviving child what esle was I to do? Anyway...I think she finaly heard me loud and clear when I called her Saturday afternoon. And I was polite about it even though I wanted to give her an earful. And I did my own little manipulating so I won't have to deal with all the mess she wants to dish out. And that's all I need to say about that.
So, in short, my mind is still busy with all this work stuff, new digs and trying to plan successfully around it so I don't have a total freakout. The only thing I know what to do is take it one day at a time. I've got a busy 'to do' list to tackle tomorrow. I'll just have to wait and see how successful that will be considering my sleep schedule. Speaking of sleep....time to attempt to get some shut eye. Sweet dreams! elizinashe
There has been a lot happening in my life the last couple of weeks and it has been one big whirlwind. I have no idea where I'm really going and maybe that's a good thing considering I tend to overthink things a bit to which the end result gets me nowhere.
I just bought a new computer and man is it ever nice. I've been looking off and on for over a year now. I just couldn't afford it plus the new computers have all this touch screen stuff or those sliding icons on the main screen which drives me nuts. I like a simple icon on the screen that I can just click and access what I need to access.
Anyway, during that time, I've been toying with the idea of getting a Mac and jumping into the Apple world a little bit more. I made a checklist so I can get all my questions answered so I can learn a new device rather quickly and have all my usual suspects still intact so I don't have to change my whole 'using a computer system ' and get frustrated. I just don't have time to re-learn a whole lot. I want a smooth transition. Needless to say, my questions got answered and there are free classes that I can take to learn this new toy a little bit more. And so, I stopped overthinking and went to the local computer store that has saved my ass and my computer during my nursing school process and bought a shiny new Mac from them. It's my way of keeping it local and giving back. There's a bit of sticker shock involved but if I overthink it too much then I will have regrets. So far, the only regret I have is staring at this fancy screen too long as the color is superbly sharp and makes my eyes dizzy after a while. I hope it's just eye strain.
And there is more to tell on the new digs but I just can't go into that right now. I don't want to jinx myself but it looks like it's gonna be a really sweet deal for my new life. Again, if I overthink it I will run and go back to old habits which I don't want to do. I want to keep moving forward. Therefore, sometimes you just have to 'let go' and let life guide you to where you need to be. I just hope I can adopt this mantra a little bit more often as I know myself well and at some point will stop to think more than I need to. However, slowing it down is not such a bad thing every now and then.
And so, there you have it. And this is my first official post on my new shiny pute. Life is good. I hope it continues. Cheers! elizinashe
I wish our windy weather was as quaint as this picture. However, it's not. We are in day two of gusty air with some really powerful high winds. The kind that makes my trees sway way too far for my comfort. And it's especially creepy at night when I should be sleeping peacefully. Every time I hear those strong gusts coming down from the mountains, I pray out loud asking that my trees stay vertical. Don't want anything to come crashing down on me nor do I want to be displaced due to damage. I don't handle upheavals like that. I could care less about what happens to this place once I leave, but while I am still here I hope that the powers that be remain kind to me.
I don't want to jinx myself too much by revealing too much, but the process of looking for a new place is a hot topic. I've found something I really like, at least from the internet search slash photo spread but it may be slightly out of my reach. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that if it's meant to be then all will fall into place nicely but I need to keep my options open as well. It's a lot of space with hopefully minimal upkeep but it will require a commitment that will certainly pose a new challenge. However, I might be able to handle that. Just ready for the next phase without making a huge mistake.
How do you differentiate a crush from a real attraction? Both sound the same, so I guess what I'm really asking is how do you tell the difference from a little flirtation because you are receiving positive attention from a member of the opposite sex versus an interest that could be 'something'. It's the kind of thing I haven't experienced in a long, long time mostly because my head was lost in the school thing, but now that I feel like I have a little more free time and my eyes have opened up to what's around me. I actually have time to create a social life now. Wow...how good does that feel? Regardless, I know myself pretty well and I am definitely curious but I'm afraid that it wouldn't be the smartest thing to pursue. But I have also learned that what you expect or want doesn't necessarily happen. So, I guess I will just have to wait and see what may come to pass. Whether I like it or not. And that includes the new digs as well. Why can't we get a letter in the mail, telling us which door to choose and which path to walk? Wouldn't that be a delight? But alas, then it wouldn't be much of a learning experience then would it? Oh well...until next time! elizinashe
I've always said that if you want something then you need to put it out there to the Universe. Of course, you need to do some legwork as well but if it's meant to be then it will surely come your way.
Having said that, I'm passing on this Irish blessing even though my Irish roots have been far removed but I've been told they are there somewhere. I haven't felt the need to go out and celebrate like a mad woman but I did wear my green. Regardless if you have Irish roots or not, I hope you are blessed and protected in the most pure ways possible.
Working the night shifts haven't been so horrible and the night shift differential has been a real blessing for me. My night time co-workers are pretty cool and they have been great mentors. Not that my day people weren't, they were just as awesome. I'm just happy that the transition has been a good one so far. The downside is trying to be a daytime person again when I'm off so I can get things done. And the falling asleep thing is a struggle just as well. Guess I need to find some things to keep me occupied in the wee hours of the night when I can't sleep. I hope that the plan in my head will work itself out on those nights when I can't sleep. Don't want to give too much away so I don't jinx myself but it's in my head and it's got to come out sometime. I'm doing my best not to procrastinate too much and get busy with moving forward like I have wanted after getting my new career started and making better money. I feel like the next few months will keep me hopping. Which is fine. It's been a long, bitter winter and I'm tired of hibernating.
Happy St. Patrick's Day! Blessings to you all! elizinashe
I am thankful for today. Although it was cold, gray and very rainy at least we dodged the crapola that hammered the Midwest and moved out to the North East. I feel for my friends and family who were impacted by this winter blast but at least it's not me. Does that sound too selfish? I am so over winter. That Old Man can just go away. Seriously.
Speaking of better weather I actually got to get out and socialize on a different level for a change. I feel like the last two months I've been planning my work days and off time around winter weather events which means very little time to plan activities with friends. However, Mother Nature was kind and I went to a 'Black & White' themed party for one of my friend's birthday. It was fun to get out and dress a little differently despite the struggle in putting on a pair of tights. I almost forgot how to get the damn things on. Really. It sure it a bitch trying to slide those things up your leg and getting the belly part around your hips and hope they stay up where they belong. I didn't dare try and go pee until I got home. Haha...It would have been a whole new struggle getting them back up after a few glasses of wine. However, I had a good time and it was fun just to get out and have some sort of social life for a change. I hope to have more of those occasions.
Did anyone watch the Oscars? I did. I like watching those shows from time to time. I like to live vicariously and look at all the beautiful dresses and of course, critique them. I secretly, or I guess now not so secretly, wish to have someone dress me up oh-so-beautifully and do my hair, makeup and dress me in jewels and drive me around to a fancy gathering and eat wonderful food. I think that would be uber fun just for one night. However, I think the tights my give me an issue.
Sadly, I haven't seen any of the movies that were nominated. Not from a lack of want, but mostly a lack of finding a fool to join me when we are both free. Working night shifts can put a damper on planning social events. However, I look forward to finding them on DVD and watching them in the comfort of my own home and in my pjs. Now that's a fine way to watch a good flick don't ya think? All of the nominated movies looked awesome and I look forward to catching them all. Hopefully on the next rainy, lazy day. And in my pjs. elizinashe
