Oh My God...

So I was catching up on some internet news and came across this blurb on the 'fattest man' on the planet. Oh my God is this ever sad. There is a man in Mexico that weighs over 1200lbs. Yes, you read it right...one thousand two hundred and some odd pounds. How in the fuck did this happen??? He is certainly bed-ridden and very sick. I'm having problems understanding how a person can get this huge and still be alive. We've all seen obese people. We've all seen a 600 or 700 pound person on some talk show, but this man weighs over a ton!!! What the hell??
My first question is how in the hell did he get this huge? Second, how could his friends and family support this kind of living?? Didn't ANYONE try and help? He didn't wake up one morning to find out that he weighed 1200lbs. This was a long process clearly but didn't anyone try and stop him along the way?? This is way,way beyond a 'glandular problem'. He must be like a human boa constrictor...he swallows his prey whole. What in the hell did he eat?? Small children?? How could you afford to feed this guy?? What about the stress and strain on his heart and other major organs?? How could the human body survive like that? And again...what the hell??
What a sad and tragic life he must have. I would imagine he does everything from the bed. Can you imagine being so large that you can't use a real toilet or take a bath?? This would be one world record that I would not be proud to own. Such a tragedy. What kind of quality of life does he really have?? None would be my guess. It's just gross and I don't understand how something like this could happen. I just don't get it. This is beyond comprehension to me. I hope this guy has a better life the next go 'round. elizinashe

Success and Achievement

Congrats to me!!! After taking a simple CNA class, comuting 70 miles round trip to my bar job, applying to the hospital, taking the hospital job, relocating back to the city, working two jobs for a year and a half, dashing off for a vacation,(much needed might I add!!), working all kinds of crazy hours, being pulled in three different directions at once, having some very disruptive sleep patterns, never having a normal 'sit-down' meal, going to too many required in-services and meetings, leaving my bar job, feeling poor, detoxing my brain and stress level, struggling to move forward in my career and keep myself happy, I have finally landed a 'full-time' status with my hospital job!! Which means guaranteed hours, health-care, a dental plan(!), paid time off, family leave if need be and most of all a tremendous sense of acomplishment after throwing myself into a completely different relm. YEA ME!!!

I have also landed the classes that I wanted for this fall term, on the days that I wanted which should work well with my working hours. No early morning classes for me!! Who can think and reason at eight o'clock in the morning anyway??? Class starts August 20th. I will have two classes on Mondays and one class on Wednesdays. I think that wil be a good way to ease myself back into the classroom environment without feeling overwhelmed. YEA ME AGAIN!!

I finished work early last evening so I stopped by my favorite hang-out, ate a big fat burger, drank too much wine and had some chocolate cake to celebrate my small steps of success. Two of my fellow bar flies toasted the occasion with me and showered me with congrats. That felt good. Yea me once again. And so my readers, here I am, again starting another new chapter in my life as I continue to grow and learn about me. It's going to be a completely different year once again. Yee Gads!!! elizinashe

Oh Happy Day!!

As I was getting ready for work last evening, I had remembered about a new book that I wanted but when I last checked the book store they did not have it in stock. (This was before my trip to Monterey. ) Anyway, so I decided to call Barnes and Noble to see if they had this book in stock yet. I really love this author and I find her most wonderfully inspiring. And so of course by this time they had a few copies in stock. JOY!! I asked them to hold me a copy, I was on my way to pick it up even though I shouldn't spend extra money right now but I just did not care. I had to have SARK's newest creation. This was my bit of joy before going into a night shift at the hospital. This was my pick-me-up in a most wonderful way. I couldn't wait for my patients to go to sleep so I could finish my work and dive into my lovely treasure.


I think this is her biggest and thickest book yet!! It's like 250 pages or something like that and I'm already 100 pages into it already!! I'll probably finish it by the weekend. I just love this lady and I have never even met her, but there is something about her books that I think any woman can relate to her regardless of her age. This lady is just super wonderful. The only way that I can explain her stuff is to encourage you to pick up one of her books and read it for yourself. She's an easy read and very colorful. She shares her personal struggles and triumphs and inspires all to embrace everything that you are, good and bad. I know it sounds really cheesy but just trust me on this. You won't walk away disappointed. Anyway, so I'm really, really excited about my new SARK book and I can't wait to digest all of her creativity I'd like to create my own sort of SARK book for myself someday...I'll keep you posted on that idea.


In the meantime, enjoy the little momments in life and all things quirky and silly. It's good for the soul and wipes out those blah momments. elizinashe





P.S. For those who are curious about Lady SARK here is her website. Hope you enjoy!!
http://www.PlanetSARK.com

Panic

It's been a busy week so far after a nice, calm weekend. I've got alot of work stuff to complete in the next two weeks, as well as the normal adult things that we all have to be responsible for. It's just alot of committments in the coming days, something everyday for the next 10 days and it' s giving me a slight panic attack. It feels slightly overwhelming in a short amount of time and I worry about how I'm going to complete it all without failure. (I worry too much.). My mother keeps pestering me on when I'm going to come up and visit before my dad leaves to go back home and that is another stressful issue also. I don't like to be pressured especially by my mother. Don't get me wrong, my mother is a really neat lady but when it comes to me, she's somewhat intrusive and butts into my life, or so it feels, too much for my taste. She even opens my mail if I have any that arrives at her house!! She doesn't always 'back off' when she should, and that is what pisses me off so I therefore just wait until the last minute sometimes to spend time with my parents. They worry soo much about me because I'm the only child, my brother died unexpectedly when he was 20, and so ever since then the focus has been all on me. Yuk. No pressure there...It's like a constant battle to reassure my parents that I'm going to be okay in my life whatever I do, not what they want me to do. Does that make sense? Perhaps I assume too much in that department.
The work stuff is going well and I have good vibes about that, but I know that my working hours are going to change again. And it will probably constantly change which rattles my nerves a bit. I function much better on a set schedule. I'm more productive and it makes it alot easier to plan all that other adult stuff that is called life. I'm also going to the tech school to register for some classes this coming fall. The idea of registering for classes again is flipping me out. I have forgotten how you work all that stuff out. And I'm afraid that I won't be able to get the classes that I want in a convient time frame and therefore will clash with my roller coaster working hours. Nothing is set in stone just yet, but I think about the possibilities and responsibilities that will be involved which leads me to think 'oh my God, how am I going to do this ? how am I going to afford all of this and how am I going to manage work, school, and my household???? Now, again,nothing is set in stone and I know I will fuction somehow and the money will be there. I just don't know how it is going to all mesh together. I guess you could say that I'm afraid of failure and disappointment. And therefore, I sometimes talk myself out of even trying. Now how stupid is that???? Don't we all learn from our mistakes and failures??? God can I ever be a nervous cat.
One day at a time, right?? All I need to focus on today is my night shift and getting up in time tomorrow for my afternoon appointment at the dentist. (double yuk.) I'll worry about my weekend responsibilities later. And so my readers, this is me being stupid and insecure in my abilities...what can I say??? I'm human. Crap. elizinashe

Summertime Vibes

Happy Summer!!
Life has been perking up a bit since my last post. It seems that I've had a sudden wave of good luck, good friends, and people seeking me out because they want my advice or a voice of support in their struggles. It feels good to be needed and feels even better when someone tells you that they need your help as a voice of reason. I guess I'm not so stupid after all!!
I've also been socializing a bit more, seeking out good and positive people to do fun things with so I don't feel so lonely and bored. Don't get me wrong, I love having my own place but it does get lonely sometimes. The trick is for me is to find something "budget friendly"...as we all have to do. (poo.) I get more satisfaction with dinner and conversation than I do bar hopping. I love going out for a good hike with a good companion, nothing but nature and again, good conversation. I feel like I've 'let go' of alot of mindless worries, or at least for now, and in doing so that has cleared a path of good vibes. It's the good vibes that keep me going and puts the confidence back where it belongs. I still have some hang-ups and I know I will always worry to the nth degree but I feel like I have a better grip on myself. I have better plans that I want to achieve. I just hope those good vibes keep coming to keep me afloat. Perhaps I should be singing the Beach Boys 'Good Vibrations'. :) Until next time...elizinahse

Little Things

Sometimes the little things in life puts the wind back in your sails when you need it. I didn't plan much for my Friday night. I had a training class to attend and run some basic errands. Exciting, eh? I came home a little tired and crampy...girl stuff...ugh!! Upon waking up from my nap a friend of mine called me out of the blue to tell me that he and some of my former bar guests were perched up at some other local bar and I should come out and join everyone. And so I did to make a long story short. It was good to see everyone again and share stories about what we have all been up to lately. I've known these old farts about 8 years now...they're like a dysfunctional second family to me in some ways. It was good to check up on these guys, and they were glad to see that I am struggling forward in my new career venture. They have always been supportive in my trials and tribulations and have treated me with respect and admiration compared to other bartenders that have come and gone where I had worked. I was just different. And they were different to me. That's the only way I can really explain it in a short paragraph. Unless you have a few short hours to spare to hear about the Depot...it was truly a one of a kind place.

So I stayed awhile, had a few drinks, got some grub after leaving and came home. Then, some other friends of mine had called with some good news, basically saying hello, how are you, come and visit and so forth. They had moved a couple of months ago and started a new venture. I thought these people would have faded away from my circle of peoples as it sometimes happens in life. Anyway, so that was a good and unexpected call despite my tipsy mentality. We all laughed at my loopiness. I'm glad they made an effort to stay in touch. I will try harder to keep the phone lines open so that we will always remain connected.

Upon my re-grouping, I checked my email and got some extra pics from my Monterey trip from my girlfriend whom I travelled with. She got some really cool pics!! It's nice to share someone else's view of the world and have a little something concrete to capture what they see...I can't wait for my orders to arrive. It will be nice to add to my photo albumn and do something crafty with my treasures. I know it's totally Martha Stewart but I really like pasting pictures in my photo albumns complete with stickers and quotations explaining what was going on at that momment. It's an easy way to tell a story, letting the viewer entertain their imagination.

And here's another kicker...I got a voice mail from another girlfriend who is in Kentucky right now for a couple of months with her job. She has a really unusual job and works primarily at night. Aprile follows horse shows around the Carolinas, Virginia, Kentucky, Florida and basically wherever her clients go, braiding and grooming horses at night before a competitive show. It's a really odd job in a way. She will go into work about 7 or 8 at night braiding several horses throughout the night, returning to her nest for sleep around 8 or 9 the following morning. Weird I know but she busts her ass in more ways than I ever could and has been doing this kind of work for about 20 years. She's an amazing person and doesn't take shit from nobody. Period. I admire her for her tenacity and her doggedness to balance work, family and individuality. She's a really cool person with a really wicked laugh. I love that about her.

So in general, my Friday night has been unusual and surprising. Being that I had tenatively planned on going to my local hang-out, having a drink or two with a nice dinner and coming home to a movie or something. Typical single girl stuff. I'm really too old for the bar hopping scene...I'm over that. I guess there was something else in store for me Friday night. It was a nice reminder that no matter where you are there are people who love and care for you. Last night it felt like it came in a big wave.

Until next time...elizinashe

Post Vacation Blahs

I've been feeling kinda blue lately. I call it the post-vacation blahs. It's back to work and back to coming home alone. I've missed having my friends here. I wish we could all live closer. Or have more money to travel more often!! Ah, the dream life. I do have friends here, don't get me wrong...but my really super close friends are all spread out and live far away. It's just really hard to meet good people sometimes. And being that I have changed my working habits, my paycheck is rather small compared to the money I brought home from the bar and therefore can't afford to go out as often.
I really like my new endeavor but I worry about my finances like most people, and how I will pay for everything. And really, in order to meet new people, it sometimes costs extra money at some point. So I feel kind of trapped in a way. I would love to join a gym again. I keep my eye out for free drawings of gym memberships in hopes of getting lucky. If I could get out and exercise I'd feel better about myself and be able to think better, make better plans so to speak instead of mulling things over in my head all the time when I'm at home. It helps clearing out all the bugs in my head. The reciever on my stereo officially died a couple of months ago so I've been listening to my music on a single disc portable player that I am just really sick of. I miss my speaker system...a room full of music filling my body and soul. Man did that ever make me happy. I soo hate this little substitute of a stereo. And being that I'm trying to watch my pennies, I'm trying really, really hard not to go out and by a replacement. I have a dentist bill to pay first-yuk!!! It sucks not having insurance right now.
I had a week of fun, friends, over-eating, frequent drinking and buying trinkets and treasures. Now it's back to the real world. Poo!! I want to go back on vacation!! How do you get your
mo-jo back when you've been away having fun?? Suggestions anyone??
I've got two more shifts to work and a training class on Friday and then I will be free until Sunday. The weather has been nice lately so maybe I'll go for a hike or something. Getting out in the woods was always theraputic for me, especially when I find a waterfall. There is just something about water that soothes my soul. That would be a good hit for me to do. Hike. Water. Breathe.
So until next time my readers, who ever you may be...have safe travels and many blessings!!
elizinashe