Customer Service

So I got a nice glossy 'thank you' from American Express for being such a 'valued' customer, wishing me a great 2010. Gee, thanks. Yes, American Express has its perks and it has saved me in a tight pinch, has funded flights and hotels across the miles, paid for emergency vet visits for my kitties and dental visits for moi. However, knowing how much I have actually spent with American Express over the last 3 years I want something more than a generic advertising glossy 'thank you' from the veeps. I know that it's all a part of a marketing protocol and whatnot, but STILL, I think I should deserve something more, like a free plane ticket or a gift card to somewhere really nice other than Red Lobster. (bleh). It is the holidays after all and I will continue to be an American Express customer, valued that is, but I want more bang for the bucks I have spent. And believe me I have spent some bucks!!! Is that too much to ask or am I just being selfish? The economy still needs some help and I could use some assistance in boosting the spending power of the average consumer. What do you think? It's just a thought. elizinashe

Aw..Aren't They Cute?

Here we go folks, the next big thing to come in pet ownership-Micro Pigs. Too cute! This will be the next big thing you will see stars carrying around in their fashion designer bags on the red carpet. Apparently these little creatures will set you back about $1200. Not too bad I suppose considering there are specialty cat and dog breeds that will set you back a small fortune. If I remember the article clearly these little pigs will weigh about 14lbs at the most, which will be about the size of my cat Hecubus as he is now. At least that's better than 1400lbs. I hear you can train a house pig to use a litter box. Hmm....now where is my checkbook? elizinashe

Stuff On My Mind

Most of my ideas for posting a blog come to me while I'm driving, at work, at the grocery store or while I'm trying to sleep. All perfectly executed, well planned and grammatically correct. However when it comes time to do the actual typing all hell breaks away and the once well planted blog becomes foggy. So then to avoid much rambling and run-on sentences I leave the motivation to blog in the back of my head. But alas, here I sit pecking away on my pute while listening to some Dave Matthews & Tim Reynolds. For the most part I just wanted to get some basic stuff out of my head that I have wanted to write about at length but I will once again just make a short list with short comments( or at least try to). However I cannot promise correct grammar & sentence structure. ;) .

• Girlfriends: Most of my really close girlfriends live out of town or out of state. I really hate that sometimes. I miss having my girls nite and having that close bond with fellow women whom I trust to open myself up and lean on their shoulder. I have other girlfriends here in town but not like the ones I had before. It reminds me of a quote from the movie "Stand By Me". Great movie about friendship even if it was about boys. But the end quote says a lot. It went something like this: " I never had any friends like I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?" Now I don't miss my girlfriends that I had when I was twelve but I do miss my girlfriends that are now spread apart across the country. I'm just glad that they're still in my circle of peeps even if they are far away.

• Parents: Geeze...so much to say on this one. Divorce is on it's way. It's all so sad. I'm okay with the divorce part of it so far but I ache for my father. He is so terribly hurt and places a lot of blame upon himself. He's in town visiting and will be here for a few days. We had lunch on Sunday and when we got back to my place he just opened up and told me everything. We cried together and hugged each other tightly. It was so hard to see my dad so sad. I have never heard him talk about his feelings and regrets ever in my life. This is not how he had expected to live out his retirement. I know it's very difficult for my mother as well and I can't even begin to talk about how my heart feels right now without crying. All I can do is pray for all of us.

• School: Or shall I say lack of. I should be studying up on some stupid math skills and stupid english so I can retake a stupid placement test to prove to the stupid college that I can read, write and do arithmetic despite my previous college credits which include all of the above and then some, but I have had zero motivation to even crack open a book. I have until January to reapply for nursing school and time will run out quickly. The longer I wait the less motivated I become. I'm afraid that I will wait too long and fuck it all up once again and struggle for yet another year until I can apply for the following fall. Maybe I'm just not school material. I don't know what my problem is here. I just hate it. Bleh!

• Exercise: Again, lack there of. I keep telling myself I need to get back into the gym thing but it's slow going. I have been to two gyms for the initial visit and the 'free 2 week' trial but I never went b/c sleeping late on my days off and being lazy seemed more important. However I did go out of town for the first trial period so that was a good excuse not to go. Plus, I was quoted a membership price of over $600 for one year. WHAT?? Yeah, only if it came with a personal chef AND a maid. Give me a break. $600 is not worth sweating to the oldies to me. In the meantime I continue to be lazy, adding insulation to my growing belly. Ugh! I refuse to buy a bigger pant size but the motivation and a decent price package is keeping me at bay in becoming a member to a gym. I continue to tell myself to get back into the groove of sweating it all out so I can feel better about myself and lose some of this weight. I'll find the right place for me soon enough, and then I'll think about it some more. Ah, the lure of procrastination.

So there it is folks. Lots of blah, blah, blah and some crapola. Yes, I've been feeling blue and depressed. Can you blame me? It's just life and I know I will survive. I am truly grateful for what I have and even what I don't have. I have a decent job, good friends and good parents. Sometimes life comes in big waves, good and bad. This wave may feel a little bad but I know there will be a really awesome wave coming soon and I'll be riding that wave for as long as I can. Hopefully the next list will be more joyful. elizinashe

Bittersweet

A lot of my brother's friends are on Facebook these days. I have found a few and have some have found me, thus we have 'friended' each other. One of his buddies just left me message to say 'hello' and had said that he still misses my brother and thinks of him often. Reading that brought some tears to my eyes. I think it's the first time in many, many years that any of his friends has said that to me or even talked about his death. It's been 23 years since he died. That's a long time. It still stings every now and then. I guess you never really get over it.
My brother was super smart, had a great sense of humor and had loads of really good friends. The picture taken at the wake that his friends had between them the night after his funeral says it all. He was so lucky to have all these great people in his life. I just wish he were still here to have all of them around. elizinashe

Previous Fashion Post

So here is one final attempt to post a previous blog that I had done back in February of 2009. This one was too good to delete. Hopefully the picture will come through this time.



How could I not make a comment on this? Again we have a fashion savy concoction from the Brits. Perhaps this was in celebration of our now past ignauguration festivities. Absolutely a piece of beauty. I would certainly pass my phone number to the bold man that would parade around town in this fine dress. It could very well be a case of 'love at first sight'. (insert tone of sarcasm here). Geeze...what the hell? Maybe it's something that's in their tea & crumpets. elizinashe

Favorite Things

Oh here we go once again! Bad fashion is yet again making a splash across the internet pages. I haven't blogged about this in a while. Haven't seen any good material lately. I guess the slow economy has taken its toll on the fashion weary as well. I did find a fabulous picture last year and had a fabulous blog to go along with it however I couldn't get the photo to attach to what I had written. I guess the picture had been encrypted or something. I do remain hopeful that I can get it to work sometime soon. But now, back to the main topic of this post.
Many thoughts come to my mind when I see these shoes. First of all is how could you ever wear these clunkers and be comfortable? Now the toe totally reminds me of my toe shoes when I took ballet which were never comfortable! There were times when my toes bled after the 1 1/2 hour class I took. Ouch! Next is the heel itself. How in the hell can that tiny little stick support the model who is catwalking them around? ( Oh yeah, model don't eat.) Still, it just doesn't look like it's a structurally sound shoe. The moment any normal person who dares to wear these would surely break the heel walking down the street. I know I would! I do however like the sparkles encrusted all over the shoe but I'd be worried about losing the beads. Not to mention spilling food & drink all over them which is a frequent charm of my personality. In other words, many of my shoes already have been blessed by something other than raindrops. I'm guessing it would not be wise to wear these shoes in a snowstorm. Which brings to mind, where in the hell would you wear these hooves anyway? I guess Birkenstocks are no longer an acceptable form of fashionable shoes. If that's the case then I'm screwed. elizinashe

Music Again

I just recently bought U2's The Joshua Tree again. I had it previously on a tape and lost it a long time ago between many moves. I was listening to the radio not too long ago and the song 'One Tree Hill' came across the airwaves and I was motivated to add that song to my never ending list of tunes to have in my collection. I had gone on a Googling adventure and found the original album that it stemmed from. Remembering the album fondly I had to pick up the album again this time on cd. Man is it ever a great record. I had mentioned in my previous post about another song from this album leaving an impression on me but the record as a whole is just phenomenal. Or so I think. So many great songs that was left with little recognition. 'Running to Stand Still', 'Trip Through Your Wires' and the already mentioned 'One Tree Hill'. Although U2 is an indescribable band and have produced many more albums since that time, I don't think they have made an album that has had such a huge impact such as The Joshua Tree. I'm not trying to knock down any of their albums, they have made many,many great albums some of which I own. I think U2 is fantastic & I love their music but listening to this album has a lot of roots to their influence musically. Perhaps it was just the era that this album was released that made it such an impressionable record but for me it has stood the test of time. I think if it had been just released this week it would still be a hit. This is definitely one album that every person should have at home. Correct me if I'm wrong. elizinashe

Music

Anyone who really knows me knows that music is a big part of my life. I love music! Turning on the pute to shuffle some tunes is the 2nd thing I do once I get out of bed. (the first being making coffee.) When I was without my computer, which holds the majority of my music collection, I was really sad. My stereo had broken many moons ago and I had made use of my little laptop loading it up with my piles of cds. I was forced to use a sad substitute of a stereo via a single cd/radio player with lousy speakers, however it worked for the time being.
My point is that although I have many favorite songs and artists there are a few songs that always makes me sing regardless of my mood or where I am when I hear a particular song. I can be in the car, at home or out in public but some songs always makes me sing along for whatever reason. Sometimes it's the lyrics, sometimes it's the harmonies. Regardless of the reason, the inspiration to sing along never bothers me.
One such song is U2's 'Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For'. I love that song. The lyrics just draw me into the story. The guitar is soul provoking. There is a steady flow of music that just finds it's way into my body and soul. Maybe I can relate to it a little too much, I don't know. I haven't really psychoanalyzed that part of myself in relation to the song. All I know is that I can't help singing along with Bono and picturing The Edge picking at his guitar. What is it about a song that moves us so much? What songs make you sing out loud regardless of where you are? What songs really move you?
I have many more songs that I could talk about but I will leave this post short and stop with U2. It's a great song both musically & lyrically. It's one song that I will never tire of listening and that says alot I think. elizinashe

Curiosities

There is a house on my way home that apparently has new occupants. There is a big white sign on the lawn advertising Tarot & Psychic Readings with a special of $10. Hmm.... I've always been fascinated by the 'spirit world' and the like. I have had my cards read a few times and have some very intuitive friends who tell me what I want to know. But yet, it hasn't stopped me from stopping in such places from time to time just to see what my host has to say.
I haven't seen a reader in a long time. I almost went with a friend of mine back in June when we were hitting all the Goodwills and 2nd hand stores while our other friend was recovering from surgery in Winston Salem. But we deemed it unnecessary and moved on. Now this place pops up five minutes from where I live with the economical price of $10. Hmm...
I am tempted. I have many unanswered questions regarding my career, parents, the love life,(or lack there of) and so forth. The typical stuff. Now I know that things always change and nothing is set in stone unless you want it that way. But I can't help wanting that little push of advice to point me in the right direction or most importantly to prepare myself, especially when it comes to the parents. I have pretty good instincts myself and have some strange intuitive knowings but I guess it never hurts to listen to some other sources of advice.
I know that there are alot of people who thinks this kind of thing is nothing but a crackpot. And some truly are a joke. I don't live my life by these things and do exactly what these readers tell me to do but I have had some uncanny experiences. I suppose it wouldn't totally hurt to give in to this curiosity especially for ten bucks. So what's the harm & what do you think? elizinashe

Tragic Fascinations

So I watched the movie Into the Wild a couple of months ago knowing the baseline story. Great movie but it was really hard to watch the ending even though I knew the outcome of the hero. I guess what got me the most was that it was a true story. A real life person. I had to know more. I found a used copy and read it in record time. I remember seeing the book a couple of years ago when it first came out and hesitated to buy it then even though I was curious. I had just put it out of my mind. I remember the movie coming out at our Fine Arts theater last year( maybe before that) but again put it out of my mind. Then a coworker had a copy of the movie this summer and had insisted that I watched it because it was "so good. "And she was right. It was a topic of discussion with many coworkers for a few weeks. I was hooked.
After reading the book and learning more about this young man I wanted to watch the movie again. And once more, I hesitated to rent it and watch it all over again. But tonight I decided to go for it. The movie was no longer available to rent but had been placed on the 'previously rented to buy' shelf. Bingo! Not that owning the movie was my ultimate goal but I do know that this is one story to keep in my collection.
I don't know why I am so attracted to this man's journey and his demise. So many questions still swirl through my head. I want to meet all the people he had come across in his journey and became friends with. I want to see his journal entries that he had written in the books that he read & carried. I want to see more pictures that he took and the self-portraits that he finagled. I want to talk to him and share good conversation. I wanted him to escape that bus and live to tell his tale. I want to know.
I feel terribly for his family. I am sure they have many unanswered questions and have had to live with much grief and guilt. They must have a lot of bravery to allow his story to be told. My heart truly goes out to them. Time doesn't always heal as quickly as we would like.
I don't remember the story itself when it first came out in the press when it all first came about. Maybe it didn't reach my neck of the woods but I was also in college at the time so I had other priorities to attend to other than worldly news. But the resurface of the tale has certainly left an impression on me. Both good and bad I suppose but mostly just amazed. I am certain that wherever Chris McCandless is he has no regrets. elizinashe

The Sweet Potato Project Update

Okay folks, for those of you who do read my stuff I thought I'd give you the update on the sweet potato project. I have now given him a name. Herman. Yep, I've named it. Now if I start carrying him around as my new 'little friend' then I really am in for trouble. However I am amazed at my little potato. His bud has now grown up to four inches and there is a vein of another bud just itching to pop out of the foil.
Yes, I know that I can plant the damn thing and have more 'new friends' pop up out of the ground but my thumb is not that green and my yard is not garden ready. I suppose I could place him in a large planter outside but the nites will soon be chilly and unforgiving to newly planted items. Besides, I'm having more fun coming home to check out how much Herman's bud has grown after working all day. I want to see how tall the bud will grow before he starts to rot and become smelly which will certainly motivate me to throw him away. It's silly I know. I laugh at myself for even allowing this to happen. I can't even believe I'm writing about it! I'm usually pretty good about throwing food out that is no longer ingestible. But this is trivial fun for me so I guess that's not so bad. Maybe I should go back to shooting pumpkins and watching them explode for my fall entertainment instead of this crazy sweet potato experiment. elizinashe

The Sweet Potato Project

A few days before I left for vacation I went to the grocery store to pick up a few items to get me through the weekend without overbuying and coming home to a fridge full of molded and spoiled food. I always try to buy what I need and keep on track of buying healthy items. I have discovered sweet potato fries which are really yummy but I truly need to stay away from the fried crap. Bad, bad, bad. However I got to thinking that I could really dress up a sweet potato with some olive oil, garlic and other spices that remain dormant in my kitchen cabinet. Sounded like a really good & healthy option for meal planning. But alas, when it came time to leave town I still hadn't eaten my sweet potato as planned and hated the idea of throwing it out. So I wrapped it in tin foil thinking that it would keep better and would not invite little gnats to call it home while I was away.
When I returned a week later a tiny little bud had started to sprout out of the tin foil. I found it comical and just basically left it. I had to quickly jump back into the work schedule so my main priority was laundry and getting back to a working mentality. A couple of days passed and the little bud had seemed to grow. Hmm...again I didn't pay much attention to the whole process. I mostly procrastinated about throwing it out since I had long passed the urge to actually eat the damn thing. Work came & went as well as the occasional cleaning projects, time with friends and ignoring the potato itself. Now 3 1/2 weeks later the little bud continues to grow right out of the foil. It now measures about 2 1/2 inches now. Wow!! So now I am completely fascinated by my little sweet potato. I am curious as to how long this reddish/purplish bud will grow out of the foil. I think I'll keep it around just a bit longer. Now if I give it a name then I'm really in for trouble. elizinashe

Cheap Treasures

In my quest to find that perfect piece of new-slash-slightly used office desk I went to the Habitat for Humanity Home Store in hopes of finding what I want and to satisfy my urge to redecorate. I did not find that desk but on my way out I did find a unique little painting. It was signed on the back with the simple title of Mystery painted by Mila. The year was not stamped but the back of the canvas tells me it's probably 15-20 years old, maybe older. I know that I did not find some great relic that is worth an asking price from Sotherby's but however it's a great treasure to me. The vivid colors and landscape remind me of some village in Italy or some city along the Mediterranean Sea. Both of which I hope to visit again. I had gone many years ago for a very brief time on a school trip when I was seventeen. I have never forgotten the little places we went to in Italy and have always wanted to explore Greece and all the little places that call the Mediterranean home. This little four dollar treasure reminds me of such a place. It makes me want to walk up to the steps that I see in this painting and trample around in the little village that is quietly awaiting to be discovered. I may never really get to that side of the globe but I can always stare into this painting & go there in my imagination and have a great adventure. Not bad for a $4.00 investment, eh? elizinashe

I'm Back!

Hello Peoples!
I finally got my computer back from the tech geeks. I'm on a new search engine so I'm trying to get myself familiar to the new look and have been in a mad search for my favorites tab. Still can't find it. I almost couldn't find my blog!! Oh terrible would that be? Need to do some more tweaking. However I am so glad to have my little computer back. I can't believe how dependent I have become on this little thing. I hope that I don't have anymore problems. I've missed having my music around. But the important thing is so far, all is well. Of course during the brief time I have not had my computer I have had tons of ideas for a topic to blog about but no computer to fullfill the creative idea. Ugh! Isn't that how it always works? Anyway...it's good to be back in the geek world of internet surfing. elizinashe.

Computers

Computers have been a necessity in our world for a long time now. Computers practically run our world. We use computers to plan our vacation as opposed going to a travel agent, corespond to family & friends as opposed to writing letters, shop on-line as opposed going to the store, create slideshows for a meeting as opposed writing on a board, create spreadsheets to keep track of business stuff as opposed to keeping it all on paper neatly filed away. And so on, and so on...you get the point.
I am amazed that I grew up without a computer. I didn't even use one in college the first time around. I still typed up my papers the old fashioned way-on a typewriter. I remained pretty clueless to the whole computer world until about 3 years ago when I finally broke down and bought a laptop. My main reason for buying one was because I truly needed a computer at home so I could return to college. These days its pretty much a requirement as alot of professors post work on-line and therefore you submit your work via email. I also wanted to be able to check newly created email account from the comforts of my home instead of having only 20 minutes at the library. Besides, the library isn't open late at night which is primarily the time I hop on the net. Needless to say, I have soaked up the computer age and have truly become hooked.
I have tons of picures saved, loads and loads of music, creative files, old homework and other crap that I have saved for whatever reason. I can't believe how dependent I have become on this little thing. I love it. I can't imagine the rest of my life without one in my home.
But alas the time has come that I have, or rather my computer has caught a bug. (insert expletive here.) I have a worm-slash-virus or maybe a little bit of both. Damn it man! I was hoping that I would be one of those people who would never have a major problem. I'm always so careful. Apparently not this time. All is working well now thank God. I have done frequent monster scans and have left opening email in the dark for a while. I have already talked to some tech geeks at a local computer repair business here in town and have plans to drop my baby off for a diagnosis and repair. The price they have quoted me is very reasonable and I should have it back in about 3-4 days. Again, a very reasonable time.
I am blessed and lucky to have a computer I know. Many people don't even have food in their refridgerator. However I will miss my little pute while it's away. How am I going to listen to music??? It's all on my computer since my stereo died. How am I going to check my email? What if I miss something really trivial but important? How will I check my facebook? I've become totally addicted to my little friend. How will I know what's going on in the world? I don't have cable so I miss alot of news. How will I know what my horoscope says? How will I survive?? And most importantly, what ever did I do before I even had a computer?? elizinashe

Wants Vs. Needs

I have the need to redecorate. I go through phases where I really want to buy new furniture or replace what is no longer needed. It's not really a priority, never has been but however I'm really tired of feeling like I still live in the post-college era of furniture. I have some nice stuff don't get me wrong but the functionality of the pieces I'm looking to replace no longer suits me. It's a selfish act really. But in my mind, if I could replace what I want then it would clear up some more space in my tiny little abode and consolidate a corner that feels cluttery.
What I really need is to pay my bills first. Which includes my impending crown coming this Wednesday. What I really need is to get rid of the clutter I no longer use and keep everything else organized. What I really need is to get back into preparing for a placement test and talking with the nursing program people so I can apply for Fall 2010 & hopefully be accepted this time.
But what I want is a new computer/office desk, a new receiver for my broken stereo that has been dead for the last 3 or 4 years and a new tv stand instead of the sad little blue end table that it now calls it home. What I want is more space. But I can't afford to move right now. I wish I had a pile of money so I could buy a nice little bungalow like I've always wanted and really redecorate. But I know that impulse buying is not always such a good thing. The Id is strong today. I don't need anything fancy. I don't even like fancy things. I just want something better. Is that too much to ask? elizinashe

Let the Countdown Begin

I am officially off work until the end of next week. Woo-Hoo!!! I leave for a much needed vacation Thursday morning and will arrive in the arms of a very special friend for a long weekend of catching up, hanging with her wonderful hubby, playing my role as the 'inappropriate aunt' to their 1 year old and catching a Dave Matthews concert to wind things down. Not a bad gig, eh?

Tomorrow will be the mad rush to clean, finish laundry, get the cat sitter primed and act like a manic patient trying to get things done all in one day without overloading myself. (I plan to leave on Wed so I can catch my flight Thursday morning.) Panic will set in later I'm sure as it usually happens. I tend to worry that I'm going to forget something or my car will break down or there will be some sort of crisis in my home while I'm away....I do tend to become Chicken Little at times. ('the sky is falling! the sky is falling!!) I hope I'm not the only one who does that. However, once I get my groove going on and just do each task one at a time then I'm good. I just wish I could wiggle my nose and have everything done in a wink and then I wouldn't stress about it so much. I could pack up my car and be on my way to vay-cay land. Such a lovely place to visit don't ya think? elizinashe

Right Time, Right Place

Well here is a money shot if I've ever seen one. Perhaps some of you have already seen this around the internet. I think this is just too funny. I'd hate to think this was actually staged. However, the story claims that this couple set up their camera for a vacation shot when this squirrel popped up and 'stole the show'. Too cute. I wonder what he was thinking.(the squirrel that is.) I see some comercials come out of this one. Look out Geico Lizard and Travelocity Gnome. I think you've got some competition coming your way! elizinashe

August

Being that I had a wonderful July and had even blogged about it, I was curious as to how my August was going to be. I was hoping for something low key & wonderful at the same time. However it has been quite the opposite.
My A/C decided to kick the bucket about 3 weeks ago and it's been a real pain in the you-know-what to have it replaced. I'm still without cool air. I've been keeping my windows open and have a fan in the bedroom but it's still stuffy & my allergies are beginning to suffer. My mood is becoming more irritable and my cat is feeling it too. I hope to God that he doesn't end up getting sick from all this. I can't afford another vet bill like I have had over the past year with all my problems with Gavin.
I also get to become a member of the root canal club. Yea! At a cost of $1080 before my insurance decides to reimburse me for what ever they see fit. What a pisser.
My landlord tells me that the new A/C will be replaced & running on Thursday. His work-person is in Charlotte and won't be back in town until Wed nite. Crapola man! If I had the money I'd be camping out at a hotel right now with Hecubus in tow. This is just ridiculous!
I'm not liking how my August has been turning out. Hopefully the end of the month will be much better. I'm so ready for that vacation! Wish I could be on that plane right now. At least they have air. elizinashe

More Stuff to Write

I have lots of stuff to talk about. But in effort to keep it all short & sweet I think I'll just stick to the main topic and leave it at that. Sometimes less really is more.

I have been coming across some old pics of my brother via facebook and his bestest friend. My brother died unexpectedly when he was 20 back in '86. I have a lot to say about this but I'm having a hard time putting it all into words without writing an epic piece. Needless to say, it's been great seeing those old pics again. A little bittersweet and it's been nice to see my brother again after all this time. I just wish he were still alive.

I've inherited my father's dental problems and it's beginning to hurt. Financially & physically. I have an emergent dental appointment tomorrow in the a.m. & will probably end up getting drilled upon & not in a good way.

My landlord is being a real 'Richard' about replacing my A/C window unit after I have been a consistent & reliable renter for the last 3 years. I don't like having stipulations put upon me like he has done over this past weekend. I'm taking the matter in my own hands. And if you don't get the 'Richard' part then there's something wrong with you. I'm trying to be polite.

Although my A/C is not working & my allergies are just now beginning to give me troubles, I am thankful for the decent weather and the cooler nites which allows some nice breezes to swirl around the house with my open windows. I hope the nice weather lasts a little longer.

July has been a really long month for me. Busy, busy, busy. Work, bills, friends, family, new friends, libations, food, math class and more work. Whew! I wonder what August has in store for me. Oh yeah, vacation! woo-hoo!!!

I am truly thankful for what I have & the job that I now have. Finances are truly tight & I'm beginning to freak a little. Especially since I'll have to pay up for the dental work and the future A/C unit. I have a great job & great benefits. However, I did a lot better money wise when I was bartending. Never worried much about finances. Now it's on my mind all too often. So what's the trade off?

And last but not least, double chocolate muffins can make things a lot better. I have 2 more left in the fridge. Cheap therapy, soul soothed. elizinashe

Journals

I used to keep a journal on a regular basis. Once I got a computer I started to journal on a word document and created a file so I can always go back to it and never lose what I wrote. Then I started my blog. Sort of an open journal for others to read but doesn't require a name to a face. I was still anonymous. However, I do have the old fashioned paper journal that I keep in my car for those moments I feel the need to write on paper.

I was thinking of putting a tab on my facebook profile of all the concerts/shows I've seen for whatever reason and I remembered that one of my journals had some ticket stubs pasted in the pages as reminders and to mark the event. So I started digging & quickly flipping thru the 5 journals I have in the house right now. (who knows how many more I have packed away in my mother's basement). As I was flipping thru the pages I noticed that I would paste lots of other momentos in my pages to keep and remember. Cards, places I've visited, pic of places I wanted to see, the house I almost bought, stickers and words of love & appreciation from others.

Don't know why I stopped writing & pasting stuff in my journal. I guess the computer world took care of that. Anyhow, there are still lots of stupid things I like to keep and they tend to pile up taking up space. Stupid things like cards, odd phrases, useless trivia, stickers, (I've always like stickers!! Especially if I'm mailing something to family/friends.)and other what-nots. I think it's time to start that habit again. I miss writing down my stuff in the old-fashioned way. I usually did it over a lunch date with myself. It was a good excuse to get out of the house and do some writing without being interupted by my cats or the phone. Now it's too easy to turn on the pute and type away. It's easier to edit as well. My brain tends to speak faster than I can write or type and some words or phrases tend to be left out. Writing things out on paper slows me down a bit and it's a struggle to write my thoughts down without skipping around a whole bunch and still having that entry make some sense. At least some sense to me. I don't know who will read all my crap once I'm off this planet. Maybe somebody will find it interesting. Regardless, sometimes it is best to do things the 'old school way' in order to really develop your craft. elizinashe

Stuff to Write

It's been a while since I wrote/blogged last. Sorry to disappoint but I've been pretty busy. However I do have many topics I'd like to talk about but my list in my head is numerous and trying to focus on one topic has proved to be ...well...???? Which one do I start with? So I thought I'd at least put it down on my list o'things on my blog in hopes it will give me a better start. So here it goes.

1. MJ -so much to say on this one. New stuff pops up everyday. Great talent, sad man.

2. Old High School Peeps- been finding alot of those on facebook which has been a surprising perk. One which includes a boy I went to school with who claims had a terrible crush on me back then and still does after all this time. Shocker I know.

3. Re-discovering your own city and enjoying the unique amenities that it has to offer, especially when the weather is nice which allows for an all day affair of exploring.

4. Lady-this was the primary dog I grew up with as a kid. I have been telling lots of 'Lady' stories lately so I guess I should write them down before I forget. She was such a funny dog and I miss having her around.

5. Another brick in my schooling career and a delay in my endeavors. UGH!! However I am making lemonade out of these lemons and returning to San Fransico to visit a girly friend that I miss terribly. Can't wait to pack up and board that plane!

6. The new Dave Matthews album. It Rocks!! That's all that really needs to be said about that one.

7. Work, the economy & personal finances. Why didn't I do it right the first time I went to college?

8. I really don't have a # 8 but I couldn't end my list with a #7. It just didn't seem right.

So that's the short list for now. I am certain I will think of more to add when I go to bed as my head tosses & turns when my body is trying to rest. Sometimes I wish I could flip a switch like a light panel to stop my head from over-thinking so much. But if that were to happen I guess I wouldn't have these creative spurts sprouting about. Maybe that's a sign of genius. HA!

elizinashe

Grateful

As we all struggle in these tough economic times I am reminded every day how lucky my life is compared to what it could be. I have gone thru many struggles over the last 4 years as I try to start a new career and keep my bills paid without going broke or losing my mind. I have taken a serious cut in pay and my working hours now are very long, and the whole going back to school thing as I am approaching the big 4-0 has been a personal and sometimes egoistic challenge. ( I guess I'm gonna have to change the whole 30s blurb pretty soon, huh?)

However, I know that for the most part , I'm a much happier person than I used to be. Yes, there are days when I ask myself, 'what the hell have I done?' and I have a nice long cry. Change is always scary. I'm terribly hard on myself so when things don't happen as quickly as I feel like they should, I get pissed. Then I get depressed. Then I realize that I'm pretty lucky. I don't have the jet-set life like some of my peers, I don't have the satisfaction of owning my own home, I don't go to the beach for a weekend get-away with a bunch of girlfriends, I don't go out every weekend to bar hop or catch a movie. Hell, I don't even have a dishwasher! But what I do have is really great friends who love me no matter what, I have a refridgerator full of food, I have a nice place to live without the fear of being mugged or getting shot in a drive-by, I have a good job which holds a long-term future for me as long as I keep trying and I have healthcare for the first time in years.

Yes, life is hard. Sometimes really hard. But I know there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. That's what keeps me going. After all, tomorrow is another day. ;) elizinashe

In Need for Spring

The winter months can be very tiresome. I get very tired of the same old daily grind and I look forward to the time change so I can have that extra daylight at the end of my day. It is such a sigh of relief as I am leaving work and walk out into some daylit sky. No more leaving for work in the dark and returing home in the dark.

This time of year can be such a tease. We will go thru periods of rain, cool temperatures, a couple of warm days and then a quick tap of cold weather. Such is the case today. It was 75 degrees yesterday. I quickly made some use of our lovely weather and went for a nice drive, found a sunny picnic table and layed down in the sunshine, listening to the wind in the trees. It was almost like listening to the ocean. It was a nice little cat nap that was much overdue. The school and work thing has really weighed heavy on my mentality. Being able to detox my brain by going outside and getting out of the four walls has a tremendous effect on my being. ahhh....

So now we are back to the slap-in-the-face cold snap. bleh!!! It is chilly, windy and the temps are supposed to drop and there is a chance of rain/snow mix late tonight and tomorrow. yee-gads!!! It's April already!!! Can't it stay nice for a few weeks??? I need warm, sunny skies to push me through the end of this semester. I'm tired of being inside the four walls. I spend alot of time encased school buildings and work. This butterfly is ready to fly. Oh, please spring hurry up! I'm tired of my cocoon. elizinashe

Your Wild Kingdom Moment

I could write about how chaotic my life has been lately, or gripe about the economy and politics, or pick some deep topic to analyze but I won't. I find a little bit of silliness is in order to break up the everyday stressor's that we live amongst. In my sleep deprived state of mind as well as some procrastination I'm feeling a little juvenile. I came across this photo a couple of weeks ago and was just amazed. I could hardly believe my eyes. What we are looking at is a Celebes Crested Macaque Monkey. I'm not sure what the 'crested' part refers to but I can make a pretty good guess. And we thought Baboon's had it bad. How in the world can a monkey evolve with an ass that....indescribable? So many inappropriate jokes come to my mind....It's like a completely separate appendage. Poor thing. I bet he gets the butt of alot of jokes. (oooo...) I am most certain that Marlon Perkins did not showcase this fine speciman on his show, and we all know that his partner-in-crime Jim did all the dirty and dangerous work. I don't think Jim would have gone for this one. All I've got to say is that is one big ass. As my former college roomie had put it so delicately, I bet he doesn't do a lot of sitting down. Again, there are many jokes to be had here but I digress. I think I've done enough already. Feel free to make up your own jokes to break away from your daily stressors. elizinashe

Gavin

Today has been a sad day. After a long battle of liver problems and thyroid imbalances I finally made the decision to put my kitty Gavin down so that he may move on with his life and exit this world with some dignity and much love from is human momma. The last few months of his life have been topsy turvy, starting with a kitty UTI followed by a torn ACL in his back leg joint and then his liver and thyroid stuff. How he tore up his ACL ligaments is beyond me since he and my other kitty Hecubus are strictly indoor cats but they must have had one hell of a party while I was at work. Anyway...The last two weeks have been a slow downhill ride. He had lost a lot of weight in the last 3 months. The picture you see now was taken in August of 2008. He was a plump and stocky 14lbs. He sure did keep your warm at night! However his aging body started to dictate another path. He had lost about 4lbs. within a months time and did start to improve for a brief time before his liver decided to tell another tale. He began to sleep a lot and eat very little. Medicating him became a battle and I decided that it was a battle not worth fighting. I didn't want the end of his life becoming a routine of shoving meds down his little throat and still feeling like crap. I had been planning on the whole 'putting him down' process in my head for the last 5 days or so. I had been in touch with my vet in preparations and protocol for Gavin and getting myself prepared for the inevitable. I must say it's not easy to take your pet to be euthanized but I did handle it all pretty well. We spent alot of time snuggling yesterday since my class had been cancelled and the weather was cold and snowy. A perfect day to stay on the couch with your cat. The vet clinic was very compassionate and humane and we all cried. I have chosen to have the body cremated and I will take Gavin's ashes up to my mother's place where he can be free among the other creatures and making his mark on mom's property. He & I lived there with my mother for a few months, as well as Hecubus, while I was in career limbo and needed a free place to stay. Gavin really liked it up there and proudly pranced around like he owned the place. It gives me a peace of mind knowing that he will be scattered somewhere that is special to me as well as to him and not in some communal deceased pet dump. I feel like I owe him that much. He was a loving and funny kitty and will be missed by many. He loved people and craved attention from anyone that came over. I am glad that he didn't have to suffer for very long. His exit in this life was graceful and quiet. Just the way I wanted it. I will miss those 3am wake-up calls in my face as I slumber and his curious talk around the house. He was a really good cat and will be missed greatly. elizinashe

I've Been Tagged!

This Facebook thing is getting to be too much fun and very obsessive but in a good way, or at least that is what I'm telling myself. I've been busy posting some old pics and some more current ones so those who are now reconnecting with my life can see what I've been up to and so forth. The fun thing is when one of your friends posts a long forgotten picture of yourself and therefore you become 'tagged'. It's becoming a fun little game however I do know that there are some very embarrssing pictures of me out there somewhere which I hope do not make an appearance. Of course turn-about is fair play....I have several embarrassing pics of my loved ones as well...such an evil game to play. Ah, good times, good times.... elizinashe

Facebook

I have now joined the b'jillions in the Facebook World . My friend in California was telling me how it has enabled her to connect with people that she went to school with and such and that I should really look into joining in on the fun. Now, I typically stay away from the normal frenzy of the masses and do my own thing but curiosity got the best of me so I have made my own little facebook imprint on the internet world.
I must say what a nice surprise it is. After becoming a 'member' for just a few hours I had one guy from high school contact me, which I thought he had totally forgotten about me in the first place, but more importantly I came across a classmate that I had gone to school with since grade school and was very happy to find her. So at least there is one bonus. I hope to keep in contact with her for a long time. Pearl is really, really smart, very creative and wickedly funny. She and I had loads of fun in the classroom growing up. It will be good to catch up with her. I'm almost anxious to see how many of my former classmates look me up. I certainly have a select few that I'd like to touch base with. I guess joining the masses isn't always a bad idea. It just gives me one more thing to play with aside from work and a second school career. Is there ever enough time for creative hi-jinx outside from our daily adult life and responsibilities? elizinashe