Validation

May You Always Weather the Storm

It feels good to be heard and recognized.  Sometimes it's immediate.  Sometimes it takes a few days.  And sometimes it takes years.  Regardless of when it happens, it just feels good.  

We go through life thinking our life will be 'ideal', or at least most of us.  We think our life will be a certain way but things change, we change and different doors open and close which leads us down a different path, good and bad.  

Hopefully the choices that you have made and the doors that you have walked through have lead you to a wonderful life with many happy experiences.  Hopefully the bad experiences have left you wiser without resentment or anger.  Hopefully you are living the life that is meant for you.  

With all that said,  I will leave this post a little short and carry on.  I can say my life has been and still is pretty darn good.  And for that I am thankful.  I look forward to the future even though it scares me a little but I'm pretty certain that I will be okay.  "One step at a time" I say....And with each step may my voice, and yours, be heard over and over again.  And with each door that opens, may it lead you to a bigger and brighter life with no regrets and all the recognition that you deserve.  elizinashe

A Different Kind of Christmas Post...

Which One Are You?

Merry Christmas Everyone!  

Here's to all the freaks and geeks, the Type A's and Type B's.  Big families, small families, young couples and 'seasoned' couples.  Cheers to the singleton's without a lover, single parents, multiple parents and blended families.  Many blessings to you all and your loved ones.  

May the New Year bring you many blessings and fun adventures.  Embrace the hard times, because you know they will come, so that you may feel the joy of all the good things that come your way.  I hope you are surrounded by many friends and much laughter.  I hope you receive lots of tight hugs from loved ones and lots of wet kisses from your fur babies.  May your table be piled high with delicious food and good people surrounding you to share a really good meal with really good wine. 

I hope your ears are filled with wonderful music that gets down into your soul and your eyes are open to new and exciting people that become a part of your circle that we call life.  May your travels be safe and carefree peppered with new memories to share with your friends.   May your workload be easier as work never really does go away.  May we all get a big, fat raise so our minds will be at ease when times get hard and the money becomes tight.  May your dreams be peaceful so you that you wake up feeling refreshed and ready to take on the day.  

I hope that our country will strive for peace, equality and a strong economy.  I do hope that our elected officials will put their differences aside and make wise and well informed decisions for our nation.  I hope our military troops stay safe and out of harm's way so that they can come home to their families.  May our veterans be recognized for their sacrifice and receive the comfort and care that they have earned as we remained on our own soil while they fought for our freedom.  

And may our Mother Earth be kind to us, as we have certainly abused our land and our seas.  I'd like to see her flourish a little bit more and so I can explore all the nooks and crannies I have yet to discover and create my own new adventures. Better dust off those hiking boots!  

Merry Christmas Ya'll!  
elizinashe

Time to Stop...

Priorities.....

This past month sure has been one helluva ride.  And it's not over yet.  Sheesh.  I've worked too damn much this past month.  Never again....got to be more mindful of that in the future.  

The last couple of weeks, hell this past month, work has been really stressful.  My Friday last week was pretty stressful.  It was really hard not to get 'snippy' towards my patients and co-workers.  However, this past Thursday night was my worst shift ever.  Seriously.  I had tears in my eyes an hour and a half into my shift, just out of shear frustration but I didn't have the time to stop, walk away and cry just to get it all out.  My unit was way too busy and I had work to do and patients to monitor.  I hope I don't have another night like that for a very long time. 

I don't go back to work until Christmas night but I still have other normal busy stuff to do before I return to the trenches.  I hope that traffic will be kind, as my errands include driving from one end of town to another.  Damn holiday shoppers....

One of my girlfriends and her husband are coming into town in January.  On a weekend that I am already scheduled to work.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed that one of my coworkers will switch nights with me so I can spend some time with her.  I really need my girlfriend time, especially after this past month.  Maybe I should make a visit to Santa and give him that wish list so he can work some magic.  

On a more lovely note, I stepped out my front door tonight to put some recycling out in the bin when lo and behold, I found a small goodie sack with some homemade cookies from one of my neighbors.  I don't know all my neighbors very well but the ones I have met have been really lovely so far and to find a little token of kindness put a big fat smile on my face and put some faith back into my soul that good deeds still exist and some of those good deeds happen to me.  I must walk over and thank them.  And after the week I've had, some homemade cookies are the perfect pick-me-up.  It certainly won't go to waste!  In fact, I think a cookie before bed is just what I need.  Nighty night!  elizinashe

'Tis the Season

Blackbird Fly....

Yep.  Christmas is coming.  All that holiday rush to get the presents squared away, mail your cards, pay the bills, plan for that Christmas gathering dinner and fight that traffic as people drive like idiots all around town.  It can really suck sometimes. 

I think I've been working a bit too much.  This past weekend was horrible.  I had three admits in one night all which had their own individual problems during the admission process which did nothing but create more stress.  I've basically have had one day off and I go back for the next three nights with Friday night off, to which I will be coming home that morning from work, and then go back for Saturday night for one more shift as they were short for that night and I picked up extra.  The pay will be nice, but it's beginning to wear a bit on my mentality.  

I've always had a love/hate relationship with the holidays.  It's always been a bit sad and uncomfortable since my brother died.  And now that my parents are officially divorced and my dad is living in Arkansas still and my mother about 45 minutes away from me, it makes Christmas time a bit weird.  I wish I could be with my dad because I worry about him being alone.  But I'm not ready to go back to that house.  Last time I was there, it was a very sad and lonely place and that was long before my parents divorced.  My mother was living out here already and she was not about to return to Arkansas.  It was a very screwy time that did not need to happen. 

And so, the 'holiday blues' are beginning to wax and wane in my little head.  I thought I'd have my tree up and break out all my Christmas decorations out since they have been in hibernation for many, many years but that didn't happen this year.  Maybe next time.  I certainly could use a little cheer that's for sure.  I've got a party invite for Friday night but I typically stay at home when I'm coming off of a string of working days.  Or shall I say nights?  It does mess with your head a bit and I'm too damn tired to be social.  Regardless, I always push on through and survive the ups & downs of Christmas time.  Or so I think.   Good thing I have plenty of wine around.  elizinashe

Watch That Mouth

Which Is Your Favorite Word?

Words can hurt.  I know that from personal experience.  I've been on the receiving end of hearing hateful things and I too have said some pretty hateful things.  Luckily, I don't make a habit of saying hateful or hurtful things especially towards others.  I'm just not that mean.  

A twelve year old boy in California committed suicide after being bullied at his school.  Twelve.  How does a twelve year old really comprehend what suicide really means?  And how did kids these days become so damn mean that they pick on some other kid for whatever reason and think that's okay?  And why are the parents not held accountable if the bullying doesn't stop? And what about the school?  Shouldn't they have some responsibility in the matter?   I thought schools were supposed to help protect our kids.  Sometimes going to school itself is a kids only safe haven.  We seriously need to embark on some law making here....one suicide is enough.  However, there have been way too many....it truly sickens my heart.  

There was a young girl in Ohio that cut her long hair into a short pixie like cut, and donated her hair to a charity called 'Wigs for Kids' which makes wigs for children who have lost their hair due to cancer.  She's about twelve also.  I thought that was so profoundly giving for such a young girl who's about to morph into her teen years when you're so self-conscious to make a sacrifice so other kids could benefit.  But instead of getting 'high fives' at her school, she got bullied.  She got bullied so much that her parents had to pull her out of school for a bit while the parents gave the school board a bunch of hell for not supporting and more importantly protecting her daughter.  Seriously, this child set an extraordinary example of helping others and yet she got teased and bullied as a result.  I don't get it.  However, this young lady did not attempt or really think about taking her own life.  Instead she started a fan page on Facebook to draw more attention to stop bullying and raise more money for the Wigs for Kids.  I think that's awesome.  

So in this 'season of giving', be careful of what you say.  Be careful of what you do.  Words hurt.  Be kind.  You may never know how much of an impact you've had on another person.  Make that phone call.  Send that letter that you've been meaning to write.  Don't be afraid to say 'I Love You'.  And you should practice this everyday throughout the year.  Not just around the holidays.  Smile more even if it hurts.  Hug a friend.  Compliment a coworker.  Life is too short to be ugly to one another.  I wish our kids today could understand that more.  And you can put that down on my Christmas Wish List.  elizinashe

Amen to That Dave

What Goes In Must Come Out

Ask and Ye Shall Receive

It's always something, right?  Once you think you're getting slightly ahead, there is always some sort of set back.  Ugh...why must life be that way?  But somehow it usually works itself out.  Or does it?  

I had picked up a few hours this past Friday night due to staff shortage, plus a call out plus our computer system was 'going down' around 10pm for a system wide maintenance, which means it would be a lot of paper charting until close to shift change which is around 0700.  That's 7am for those who don't speak nursing.  Or military.  haha..

Regardless, I couldn't turn the offer down especially since I was being offered 'crisis pay' which means extra money per hour on top of what I was already making.  Plus it would be overtime and some weekend differential.  The recovery from the sleep deprivation has been doable but my Sunday did not start off as I had planned or expected.  Sigh...

To make a really long story short, my cat got sick.  Poor thing.  I had only been asleep for about 4 hours when I heard him puking and walking around meowing.  Now the puking thing is not unusual but the rest of the stuff that had ensued was not normal and he was clearly in pain, very uncomfortable, anxious and frustrated.  I could not let that go on.  I knew there was something else.  What was even more frustrating was that I had no other choice but to take him to the 'Emergency Clinic' since my vet didn't open until 3pm on Sundays.  It was coming close to 9am and my cat's decline had started about 2 hours prior.  I could not let this go on.  

So off we go to the clinic to which I've had bad experiences with in prior years not to mention a huge bill because they can get away with it since it's a 24 hour place.  Weekends and holidays too.  Ouch.  Needless to say, three hours later and $570.60 later we came home.  Nothing too significant and his blood work, at $150 a pop, was quite unremarkable.  Which means nothing of great importance or dangerous.  Stubborn kitty I have....For the most part, he was dehydrated and had been quite constipated which was the root cause and was also the reason he was puking a lot too.  Poor thing. 

So this evening has been some light food and wine for me, with King Hecubus the Snaggletooth, as one of my friends dubbed him many years ago, resting quietly on the couch recovering from a traumatic day.  Three loads of laundry due to the pooping and puking and spot cleaning the floors where he had puked and left a little poo.  Yep.  That's my night...ah, the beauties of being a pet owner.  It sucks that I had to spend so much money on a clinic that certainly over charges because they can, but I'd do it all over again.  I would never let my 'fur baby' suffer like that.  I think any pet owner would tell you the same.  

I love my handsome old man.  He may be pretty persnickety in his old age but don't we all get a little particular as we get older?   I just hope that he continues on a road of recovery and comfort, especially tonight.  I know the future doesn't look too bright for him which breaks my heart.  I'm not ready for that yet.  I want him to leave this Earth peacefully with me by his side and at home.  Just not now.  He's got some more living to do.  That I know.  

Hecubus

Lastly, since I am one to 'put it out there to the universe',  I wanted to post a pic of money coming 'to me' instead of money 'leaving me'.  Thus, the money tree that you see above.  And I will end my post with a pic of Hecubus in his better days as he looks a little thin these days.  He's still soft and cuddly and loves to sleep right up in my face every night.  Purring.  That's a pretty good sound to fall asleep to.  elizinashe

A Typical Evening Pose

Just a Little Jingle

I Dig Glittery Balls

Christmas is coming ya'll!  Are you ready?  Hope you've sharpened your shopping skills.  It's a madhouse out there.  Yikes!  

I had it planned in my head to put up a tree this year.  It would have been the first one I put up in many, many years.  However, the majority of my decorations are in my grandfather's steamer trunk which is still living in my mother's basement.  And being that I work nights, it has been difficult to retrieve.  I guess I could have picked it up on our Thanksgiving celebration, but I just wasn't motivated to dig around in the basement that day.  Just too tired.  Plus, I wouldn't have been able to haul it into the house by myself.  It's pretty big and too heavy for one person to lug around.  Maybe next year....

My birthday was this past week.  Sadly I had to work, but I didn't mind so much.  I pretty much keep it on the down-low anyway.  However, my mom did stop by to bring me a birthday pie and some framed pictures that I had stored at her place while I was living in my tiny little box of a rental house.  Again, that place was way too small to put all of my belongings into six hundred square feet of space.  I'm excited to see my homey belongings again.  I think this week will be finding which wall space to hang them up so once again they will breathe some life after being boxed up for so many years.  

Speaking of my birthday, it began with some early morning texts from a couple of dear friends sending their wishes and two voice mail messages at the end of the day from two of my bestest girlies singing birthday songs.  Loved it.  Not a bad way to spend a birthday when it's wrapped around working hours.  It left me feeling quite loved.  

I saw a clever 'stamp' on the back of a car today while I ran out for a couple of errands.  The quote was on the back bumper right above the tailpipe.  It read "Prius Repellant".  Haha...thought it was rather clever and made me giggle.  If only I could have gotten a picture.....

Okay folks, that's all I've got.  At least for now that is...got to get that shopping list together and do some hammering around the house.  'Tis the season to do some decorating.  Cheers!  elizinashe

It's Coming....

Thanksgiving Survival Tips

Yep, the holidays are fast upon us.  The Thanksgiving feast with the carved beast, too many fixin's, family stress and probably too much alcohol.  Pre-Black Friday deals, the oversaturated Black Friday deals and Cyber Monday.  Ugh.  Yeah, you can score some great deals as long as your willing to give up your free time to camp out and shop 'til you drop among thousands of other idiots.  I am proud to say that I won't indulge in any of that crap.  I pretty much have all I need.  Besides, what I really want is not for sale.  And that's okay.  At least for now that is....

I have a love/hate relationship with the holidays.  It's just not what it used to be. Nor is it what I expected it to be at this stage in my life.   I love my family and enjoy my time with them, but it has never been the same since my brother died.  No big surprise there.  I think that's a rather normal existence in any family that has suffered some kind of loss.  Regardless, I will make the best of it with what I hope to be a positive attitude and understanding.  I might need to pray about that a little bit more.  

I just watched a documentary about the band R.E.M.  Man, I used to listen to them a lot. "Life's Rich Pageant" was always my 'go to' for long car trips.  I still have the cassette somewhere. (and the CD, duh!)  They really were good together not to mention starting up the whole 'college radio' genre.  And quite by accident.  They just wanted to play at some college parties and drink beer.  Little did they know what was in their future.  What I really admire about them as a band is their 'brotherhood' if you will.  They were a band who treated each member with equality especially when it came to song writing.  Nobody took complete credit for any one song, as they all contributed to what they wrote.  Therefore, no arguments about who gets credit for what songs they wrote because in their mentality that is why bands break up.  Arguing over songs.  I think that's pretty cool.  Who does that these days?  I need to revisit those albums...maybe even buy their last one recorded.  A girl's got to have her music ya know?

Aside from the snarky quote above, I hope that you have a good Thanksgiving no matter how you choose to celebrate.  I have a lot to be thankful for and I don't forget about it either.  I wish I could give back in more ways than I do at this stage in my life but I hope that the thought and will to give more will be enough.  I'm a firm believer in 'what goes around, comes around'.  There are so many that are struggling and /or alone.  Nobody should have to live that way, but I know it happens which makes me pretty sad sometimes.  In the meantime, may your plates be full, your table surrounded with loved ones and your ears filled with laughter.  Happy Thanksgiving!  elizinashe

Busy Day Restless MInd

Goodbye Fall

I had a post in my head earlier but it just didn't seem to have the flow that I was wanting.  Sometimes you just can't get it together.  Maybe it's the stupid cold weather we are having so early in the year.  Hell, it's not even officially Winter yet....

I've felt  rather accomplished this past week.  I did a lot of cooking last week while I was off so my little meals to take to work were quite satisfying.  Midnight cafeteria food pretty much sucks.  I also got some of my pipes wrapped up in the basement, just for that extra security.  Even though my basement is pretty well insulated and there aren't any open windows or vents to allow cold air inside, I wanted to keep my new home protected as much as possible.  I don't deal well this household crisis.  It just stresses me out.  Vehicle crisis freaks me out as well.  I like having my wheels in working order.  This chic needs to be able to get to work and take a hot shower, ya know? 

My cat is getting more curious about the basement.  At first he could care less but now when I go down I can hear him meow at the door.  Guess he can't stand to not know where I am going. Haha...and even though when I come back up and open up the door to get back inside and attempt to block him from going down,  he slips down the stairs and runs to the bottom to check things out.  Sneaky tart.  I don't want him to get used to going down there.  I have insulation that is exposed and I don't want him to start 'inspecting' it.  I can just see him giving it a 'taste test' or clawing at it because that's what cats do. 

Guess I should go to bed, eh?  It's late...however I don't have to get up early since I work the night shift.  At least I have a good excuse for being up.  It would really suck if I worked the day shift.  Maybe one of these days I will have a more normal working life.  Maybe not...I've always been a bit different.  Until next time.....elizinashe

Short & Sweet

Downtown Asheville

I met one of my coworkers and his partner Saturday downtown for some photo taking opportunities.  It was really good company on a really good day.  I must remember to do that more often.  

I've had some of the most ridiculous conversations at work.  And I do mean ridiculous.  It can be rather silly and possibly immature.  However it does make me laugh not to mention reduce the stress level for all involved.  I guess that's not a bad thing.  

December is upon us.  Hard to believe.  We have about 6 1/2 weeks until Christmas.  And then we will be ringing in the New Year.  Sheesh!  Have you started your Christmas shopping yet?  Any New Year's plans?  And dare I ask about any resolutions?  

I've never been one to budget myself on a monthly basis.  Believe you me, I've tried but it's just too tedious.  It's busy work that I care not to spend my energy on.  I do pay my bills on time and always have had money for that.  My biggest expense, other than my mortgage is most likely food.  I spend way too much.  Gonna work that.  

Speaking of house stuff, I've had my first 'home repair'.  Apparently my Pressure Reducer Valve was going on it's way out.  Two shower heads that 'squeal' is something more than just a nut-n-bolt-slash-washer type of issue.  Glad it's repaired.  I have dishes to wash and laundry to do!  Now if I only get motivated to use the vacuum.....

With Winter creeping fast I hope you get out and do something fun on beautiful days like I had on Saturday.  Those cold gray days will soon be the only thing we see out our windows.  I'm hoping for a mild winter but you never really know about Mother Nature.  I could use some more blue skies for a few more weeks.   elizinashe

Red Leaves & Blue Skies

This & That

I love a good soup.  Especially when the weather gets chilly.  Who doesn't, right?  Now that I have a new place with a real kitchen, I've been diving into some new recipes that I've had earmarked for quite some time.  I do find it rather therapeutic making a big mess in my giant soup pot and road testing something new.  A good bowl of soup with some warm crusty bread and a nice glass of wine it just the ticket these days.  

"Silence of the Lambs" had been playing on TV this past month.  Y'know...October...Halloween...all that creepy scary stuff.  And of course I watched it.  I forget how good Anthony Hopkins was in that role.  His diction and fluctuations with his speech was genius.  Not to mention the taunting and teasing he played upon Clarice.  However, as a result I am now a little bit scared to go down into my basement.  I'm afraid I might find a bunch of creepy larve and flying bugs down there.  To which I know won't be there, but still....I'd much rather run into Hannibal and offer him a nice glass of Chianti.  Hope I have some Fava beans in the cabinet. 

I feel like I'm becoming more and more obsessed with this Duggar family.  Maybe 'intrigued' might be a better description.  They've been all over the internet lately with two of their girls getting married, talking about their 'first kiss' and one newly pregnant already.  Ugh.  Come to find out, one of my coworkers is just as obsessed about them as I am becoming.  That kinda makes me feel a bit better.  I have someone else to discuss this with.  And she shares the same feelings about this strangely confined turned reality show personalities as I do.  Glad I'm not the only one.  

I told myself that I wouldn't post some big ol' long blog as I typically do.  I often think of quick one-liners or just a few sentences just to make a quick point, but once I get to the computer I just keep going and going and going....sorry.  I just can't help it.  However, I will end it here as I'm kinda hungry and I want a little snack.  Better check the fridge.  Maybe there's some leftover soup in there.  elizinashe

Quick Bits

I swear my cat pukes up his laxative just to spite me.  I have to squirt liquid from a syringe down his throat everyday just so he can poop.  Sometimes I forget to give him the medicine.  But when I do remember, he usually ends up  running away afterwards and then puking on the floor.  I know he hates it but that's what you get when you're an 18 year old cat. 

I've been feeling a little puny lately.  I've been snotty and sneezy despite the pseudophed.  I get tired easy and I'm growing some body aches.  No fever.  Thankfully.  I'm past due for my flu shot but I'm afraid if I get it now then it will trigger the flu to rear it's ugly head since I'm halfway there.  I don't want to be all sickly feeling at work this weekend.  That would just suck.  

I've been watching the "19 Kids and Counting" every now and then.  I feel like I need to learn more about this family before I continue to blog about them and gripe about what I only know from the internet.  Can't say I will watch it every week but it does give me more insight on how they really live their lives.  And yes, it has been interesting but my opinion pretty much has stayed the same.  In fact, it kinda solidifies what I already believe.  I will refrain from speaking on the matter as I tend to get on my soapbox about it all.  

My dad gave me one of those 'Snuggies' a few years ago to help keep me warm in my former chilly residence.  It was kinda cheesy in a way but I used it.  It was kinda nice really...but still a bit on the cheesy side.  Once it warmed up I packed it away along with my other cold weather gear.  I really didn't use it much after that.  Until I moved into my new place.  That silly Snuggie has now become my 'smoking jacket'.  Haha...I refuse to smoke in my new place and have always sat outside on my deck when I did want to smoke.  Now that the weather is getting chillier, I need to wear something warm so I can 'get my fix'.  I'm pretty proud of myself for not breaking down and smoking inside of the house.  I think I can stick to it.  I've made it this far.  It's just going to really suck when it gets stupid cold outside.  Maybe I should plan on quitting during the winter months.  Hmm....I'll have to think about that one.  Winter doesn't last that long. 

Until next time.....elizinashe

Fall Fun

Duh! It's a Flower...

I had company in town this past weekend.  It was fun to catch up with my fellow fiend (yes, fiend) and his girlfriend, galavanting around town, taking pictures, drinking wine and eating good food.  I think I should have such weekends more often.  It certainly recharged my soul.  

I also had a surprise and a somewhat emergent visit that same weekend from one of my bestest girlies and her 6 year old boy.  They had been camping with her sister-in-law and her son when my friend's son got sick and had been vomiting.  Poor thing.  Lucky for me that I was away from work and had a warm, clean place for them to crash for the night.  I was more than excited to have them sleep over despite the circumstances.  Plus, they were my first peeps to use my 'California' bathroom which is most fitting since the theme of this silly guest bathroom involves my friend who came over.  Funny how life works out sometimes.  Hopefully their next visit will on a more healthier note.  

I took my weekend guests to the Biltmore House on Monday.  Man, I forget how magnificent that place can be.  It's a real stunner.  The trick is getting there early so you can 'beat the crowds' and take your time visiting the house and gardens.  It never ceases to amaze me when you take that short walk from your parking area to the main grounds which lead you to the front of the house.  And it's always fun to take someone who has never been and see their reaction to that 'Ah ha!' moment.  If you haven't been, you should go sometime.  You won't be disappointed.  I promise.  

The Biltmore Estate

After a long hiatus, I used my 'real' camera for the first time in couple of years.  I got some pretty good shots over the weekend.  Got some good ones with my phone too.  I really like using my camera but the smart phone technology has made it all too easy to use the camera that's attached to your device. And then of course, you pretty much immediately post the said camera phone pic on your Facebook.  And that's okay too.  I just want to continue to hone in on my camera skills which means using a real camera and not the phone, although the 'smart phones' these days takes some pretty good pictures these days.  By the way, the pics of the Lion and the flowers came from my phone.  What ya think?

Biltmore Lion

Sadly my weekend came to a close and it was back to the grind and back to work during the midweek.  At least I had a good 'refresher' of a weekend with some good friends and new memories.  Lots of pics to upload.  I hope I can transfer my pictures to my new computer without screwing things up.  I have yet to take pictures from my camera and load it up to my Mac so it will be a new experience for me.  I have the next two days off until I go back to work for the weekend so I have added that to my 'to do' list.  Along with making dinner and test driving a new soup recipe.  It's gonna get cold this weekend!  Glad I washed my winter coat.  I might need it.  Brrrr.....elizinashe

Thursday Ramblings

When did buying groceries become so damn expensive?  Especially if it's healthy foods.  Seems like everything starts at $3.50 and continues to increase.  Sheesh...It's so hard to buy food just for one person not to mention a family of four. ( Or more if you're like the Duggars. haha..)  Just a few basics for me is easily thirty bucks.  And for a few items that doesn't last but a week if at that.  Wish I liked Ramen noodles.  

I really like having my blog.  And as you may notice, I usually post a picture.  I just can't help it.  I need something visual to go along with my rant.  I especially like this picture.  I find it pretty cool in an artsy sort of way.  I'd like to have my pictures taken in this sort of fashion.  I think it would be fun.  Maybe I should add that to my bucket list. 

I could care less about Beyonce and Jay Z.  I think they so highly egocentric.  Although I do like a couple of Beyonce's songs and she can sing, all she really does is wear skimpy costumes, shake her ass and flip her hair.  A lot.  If I wanted a Vegas show I'd to go Vegas.  

I don't know why people are griping about U2 downloading their new album on everyone's iTunes.  Yes, I get the creep factor that it feels like someone 'broke in' to your account and without your permission, however, it's U2!  And it's free!  Yes, a bit of egomania came into the play of things not to mention a huge payout to the band to do so, but still....it's a free U2 album!  Unless you really don't like them at all then I can see why you'd be a bit pissed.  Have people forgotten that they don't have to download it?  And you can always delete it from your album list so get over it.  Just sayin'.   

This whole Ebola thing kinda frightens me.  And I work in the healthcare setting.  I don't think our country is prepared for this kind of mess.  We have had this assumption that horrible diseases like Ebola will never reach shores.  But you know what, it did! And I am sure that there will be more diseases to arrive, it's just a matter of time.   So now the CDC is scrambling to take precautions.  And shame on you Texas Health Presbyterian for not providing your staff with proper equipment to protect themselves! I get it if you weren't properly trained or had proper equipment but geeze.. you could have called Emory and/or the CDC and had Fed Ex'd needful equipment or have it flown in on a plane.  How stupid.  And I have questions for that nurse that decided to get on a plane AFTER she had helped treat that man who had DIED from Ebola.  Bad nursing judgement.  I do hope both of those nurses recover.  

I have friends coming into town this weekend.  It will be such a nice break from work not to mention time with some really good people.  I am certain that there will be much wine, food and pictures at hand.  And that is fine by me.  Haven't had that in a while.  Well, okay..since July but you get the picture.  Working nights can wreak a little havoc on your social life but I guess nursing school pretty well prepared me for that.  Okay..so I guess I'm done ranting for a while.  See ya next time...elizinashe

Rainy Day Ramblings

I started this post like twelve hours ago.  It was a quiet, rainy, rainy day which had no end. (That is the rain part.)   However, I got a bad case of 'cabin fever' and thus braved the incessant rain and went to the store to pick a few things up.  I almost phoned a friend to see if he wanted to go catch a movie but I chickened out.  Mostly because we never seem to be able to get together so I just didn't want to waste time or get my hopes up.  Plus, I really didn't feel like sitting around...I needed to move.  

So after my shopping excursion I walked around in the mall.  Gag.  At least I was moving.  And I didn't buy anything.  Just wasn't in the mood despite I really need some new clothes and new shoes for the winter.  Next time. 

Word on the internet is that two of the other older Duggar girls are going to be the ones who 'break away' from the family.  If you follow my blog you know I write about this family often, as I find them quite strange due to their strict beliefs and lifestyle.  Both of the 'other older' girls are 'not courting' and have hinted about finding their own way or moving out of the house.  I say 'Go For It!".  Flee ladies, flee!  Go find your life that you want to live and not what your parents expect to you live.  Go to college and live in a dorm.  (Although they may be a little to 'old' for dorm life. ) I say go and explore the world outside of the family.  You won't regret it.  And that's all I have to say about that. 

Speaking of internet buzz, apparently Miley Cyrus has a new dance.  The 'twerking' thing is over and her new dance is called the 'Nay Nay'.  I could care less.  I say 'Nay Nay' to you Miley!   You are a waste of talent and paint a bad picture for your image.  I find it frightening that so many young girls look up to you and mimic your style.  Why don't we have classy ladies anymore like Billy Holiday?  Oh wait, she was a drug addict.  Never mind....

Okay, that's all I have folks.  Well, not really but that's where I will stop.  Haha...Hoping for some sunshine tomorrow!  Twelve plus hours of rain is quite enough!  Until next time....elizinashe

Are You Ready?

I've thought about my own mortality from time to time.  Not that I expect it anytime soon, but on occasion it crosses my mind.  When I was little, I had this idea that when you die, you just lie down when you're old, go to sleep and then you are lifted up to Heaven in a big colorful hot air balloon.  Don't know where the balloon part came into play but the child like colors don't surprise me.  Not to mention the innocence of what my idea of death was at that time.  

As I've gotten older and I watch my parents get older, I realize that my own death probably won't be as lovely as I had thought it would be like I did as a child, nor will it be mostly  peaceful and surrounded my many loved ones like my grandparents had experienced.  I can only hope and pray that when it comes time for my own parents to leave this Earth, that they too will leave without pain and/or suffering.  

Being that I work with the Geriatric population now, I see now how aging can really suck sometimes given health related complications that have been brewing for years on top of mental health issues, dementia and Alzheimer's disease.  It truly is sad sometimes.  And what's really sad is when some of these people have no voice to speak for them.  No guardian, no kids, no siblings, no nothing.  God I hope that's not me someday.  Sometimes I really start to think about it.  Maybe a bit too much. 

I am single with good friends, no children and an aging cat.  And so when I think about this stuff, I think about who is going to be with me?  Who is going to be around when I'm really sick?  Being that I don't have any kids, who is going to take my stuff?  I could care less about the material stuff so to speak. But what about those important momento's, family pictures, music...man, lots of music!  Who wants all my crap that is important to me that I want to 'pass on' to someone who will appreciate it?  And what about my family stuff?  My cousins don't keep in touch with me frequently enough so would they want some of that shit?  I hate the idea that all those little things that I have loved so much goes to waste with nobody to appreciate it all like I have.  And what about my journals?  Who wants to read about my life?  Just a few random things that creep across my mind.  Kinda morbid to talk about I know.  However, these are just a few things that have been on my mind lately.  Don't mean to bring ya down, but I can pretty much guarantee that you have thought about this shit too.  I think that's a normal process as we all get older.  Hopefully I won't have to think about dishing out all 'my stuff' anytime soon.  I've got too many things on my bucket list to tackle.  Life is good and I plan to keep it that way for a long time.  elizinashe

What You Really, Really Want....

So the hunt for the 'perfect' kitchen table has finally come to a close. Or at least, I hope.  Geeze....decisions, decisions....

There is a huge discount place that I had visited at least five times looking at tables.  I finally decided to go with a 'counter top height' style as I just could not shake it off my mind.  I really dig the style and there is still plenty of room.  This one table was really, really nice with fat padded chairs which would make it really, really comfortable.  However, it was way more than I could ever imagine of spending.  Why is furniture so dang expensive?  I made three trips looking at this one particular table but just could not justify spending nearly $1,000 for a table.  Yep.  $1,000.  Seriously?  Of course, being that it was a 'discount place' and they were having a 'Grand Opening ' special in their new place, it would be 20% off which would still be close to $700-800 if not more.  Can't forget that delivery charge....Ugh.  

On the flip side, there was a new retail furniture store that just opened up close to my house with a smaller selection of items but still had some good basics.  I really don't trust big retailers because they just tend to rip off their customers.  Or so I feel.  I have the same mentality with car dealerships but that's a whole other bag.  Anyway, so I made myself go to the new place, just to check it out.  And lo and behold, I did find a table that was very similar to the overpriced table at the other 'discount' place AND it was only $488.  Yep.  $488.  Wow.  I was quite pleased.  The only thing that is doesn't have compared to the other table is the fat, cushioned chairs.  (I do like my ass to be comfortable y'know.)  The style is the same and the color is very similar.  The table itself is not quite as thick but it's not that cheap thin looking pressed fake looking crap either.  I almost walked out buying it that evening.  But being the picky stupid ass that I am, I walked away so I could think about it.  

I went back to that 'discount' place one last time...and no, I didn't buy that table but I really wanted it.  I just could not stomach paying that much money for a stupid table.  Blah, blah, blah...I felt comfortable in my mental decision to go with the cheaper but similar table and told myself that I would go and make my purchase before I went to a cook-out gathering for the afternoon on Sunday.   And so I did.  Another beauty of this deal is that I get some kind of 'extra protection/warranty' for what was supposed to be $50 turned out to be $30.  So if anything goes awry with my table, they will replace it or have it repaired.  And if nothing ever goes wrong, then that $30 is returned to me, most likely in the form of store credit.  Yep.  They give you money back.  Or so they say.  Guess I will find out in three years.  Haha....

But there is a small part of me that still wants that overpriced table, simply because of the big, fat comfortable cushioned chairs.  Aren't I stupid?  I've already have in mind to call this fabric place that does some mending/recovering to see if they can't make some big, fat cushions to put on my chairs.  Again, I like my ass to be comfortable.  And want my guest's ass to be comfortable too.  I know I'm over thinking this whole table thing. The whole 'do I or don't I?'.  Do you get what you really, really want because you think too big or do you take a step back and get what you really need realistic?   Sheesh...hope I still like it once it arrives.  May God help me when it comes time to get more furniture.  Haha...hopefully it will be an easier process without breaking my budget or my sanity.  Keeping my fingers crossed on that one.  elizinashe

Guess What?

Yep.  I'm awake.  I could only hope that I'm in somebody's dream.  Haha...

So as I am coming off three nights of work, here I sit at my pute with a half shaved cat in my lap halfway watching a cheesy family friendly movie with Lea Thompson and Judd Nelson.  Classic 80's stars that have aged gracefully and playing middle aged characters for television.  Never been a big fan of Lea but I do still dig me some Judd Nelson.  

As for the 'half shaved cat' quip, I had to take Hecubus back to the vet for a sonogram so we could get a good picture of his stomach and gall bladder area.  I expected the shaving of the belly part and some of his side, but the vet sure did shave quite a ways up on both sides of his belly.  Poor thing.  He's got a reverse mohawk kind of look to him.  He just looks pitiful.  At least the sonogram results were fairly good.  No changes from last year and no eminent surgery at this point.  Hopefully his fur will grow back  quickly.  

I discovered a little bit of water creeping into my basement last week after a hard rain.  It wasn't a whole lot but just enough to trickle in towards the opposite wall.  I'm sure it's something simple like a small portal of entry from all the runoff from my neighbor's drain.  There was some of that good ol' red Carolina clay mixed in with it too.  Luckily I've got a guy coming Monday to check it out.  If it's a foundation issue, to which I pray that it's not, I guess I will call upon that Home Warranty that the sellers paid for as a part of my sale contract.  Keeping my fingers crossed.  

I've been getting into puns lately.  It started with an email that my dad sent me from one of his buddies that had a few puns in the attachment.  Good stuff.  That led me to searching a website for more puns.  Found some good ones.  Made me laugh.  Who doesn't like a clever 'one liner'?  And so...I will leave you with a couple of quips in hopes it will make you laugh as well.  

Never trust an atom.  They make up everything. 
Police were called to a nursery where a three year old was resisting a rest. 
So this dyslexic walks into a bra....

That last one is one of my favorites.  Makes ya think a little bit.  Gotta love it.  elizinashe

Something to Ponder

numerology

[noo-muh-rol-uh-jee ]

noun

1. the study of numbers, as the figures designating the year of one's birth, to determine their supposed influence on one's life, future, etc

I like to dabble in the 'new age' type of things.  I've always been interested in Astrology and I was really getting into Palm Readings many, many moons ago.  Numbers is something I more or less paid some attention to but didn't put much effort into the study.  It just seemed kinda hokey.  However....

I've always been told, read, and/or came across that my 'lucky number' was seven.  Didn't pay much attention to it other than random coincidences.  Then, in my late night self-entertainment I began thinking.  I did remember that my first apartment that I landed in Asheville was # 421 to which I felt like it was 'meant to be' since my phone number in Arkansas had the digits '421' in the last four of the sequence.  Recognizing that gave me confidence and reassured my faith that my leap of faith and a big move was the right thing for me to do at that time.  That was sixteen years ago.  

Other recalls....my second apartment address did not have any 'sevens' in the sequence, however my phone number was a '3679' sequence.  Thus, the seven pops up.  If you want to go way, way back, my phone number in college, long before I even thought of moving to North Carolina, was a '3542' sequence,which if you're a real math nerd, you will recognize that both 35 & 42 are divisible by seven.  Weird, eh? 

And to continue...the very first house I fell in love with when I had only been in Asheville for about three years had a '21' for the address.   Blackjack!  haha..  (Seven times two, duh!)  However, I did not get that house which made me sad for a very, very long time but it was an older house which means a lot of investment to update.  I had good intentions but I certainly did not have the money to truly get it done.  I still love an old bungalow though...

At the time I left my second apartment I had a cell phone to which the digits include a seven.  Whatever...I then stayed with my mother for a few months while I got my act together.  That is another long winded story to which I will not discuss at this time.  However, her zip code did indeed, include a seven. 

Then I moved to my prior rental. A small 'studio' home which felt more like a shack but again...the address was '21'.  Blackjack!  (couldn't resist...).  Again, divisible by seven.  Am I reaching too far?  So many, many moons later and many, many personal hurdles I now have a home of my own.  My address is '49'.  Seven squared if you will....So maybe there is some truth in this numerology stuff.  Maybe not.  I do find it ironic though.  And I kinda like it that way.  Maybe I should play the lottery.  Or Blackjack.  (insert winking face here..)  By the way, if you think I'm really looney tunes about this, our home phone number growing up was a '2124' sequence.  Again...'21' shows up.  Divisible by seven.  Hell....maybe I should book a trip to the casino and play me some cards.  elizinashe

Late Night Ramblings

So I've worked 4 night shifts in the last 5 days.  Thus, I'm awake.  Good thing I have cable.  Otherwise I think I'd be going out of my mind.  Not that I can't 'entertain myself' but after a while, the creative juices leave and the boredom sets in all too well.  

I had mentioned in a previous post about the Duggars.  I have one slight correction.  Yes, one daughter is newly married and newly pregnant after being married for only two months.  Sheesh. However, the next daughter in line is engaged, not currently married as I had thought.  However, like her older sister, the happy couple will have their first kiss on their wedding day.  Apparently the son-in-law to be has moved to the family compound, in the guest house mind you, so the two can be closer and visit since he previously had lived four hours away.  Jesus....What really gets me is that the 'courting time' is chaperoned and they aren't supposed to 'touch' or do any of that normal dating, excuse me, 'courting' stuff.  What the hell?  The girl is 21 years old!  How does monitoring and restricting your child's dating life prepare them for the real world or adulthood or even intimacy?  And get this, the father was okay with the son-in-law to be moving into their 'guest house' because they have 'so much going on' that he can help out with the family.  I kind of find that sickening....using innocent kids for your gain.  Doesn't seem very Christian to me.  

I really don't mind working nights so much.  However, it does kind of put a damper needing to get 'daytime' errands done.  Like vehicle maintenance, regular eating schedules, meetings for work and so forth.  I have friends coming in October for a visit.  I just hope that I can turn around and be a functioning day time person so I can spend quality time with them both, instead of having them wait all damn day for me to 'wake up'.  Guess I will need to make a plan to recalculate my body clock ahead of time.  

I could go on and on since I have time and can't sleep, but I tend to write long blogs anyway, or so I feel, which can be distracting and leave the reader inattentive.  So I will keep this short.  I finally finished my book that I started a couple months ago.  I have a hard time reading at home so I try to read when I go out to eat and sometimes at work, and I haven't gone out to eat very much lately.   Work had been super busy the last couple of months so it became difficult to finish reading.  But alas, I had two nights the past ten days where I could finally finish my treasure.  I do love this author's books and I so want to meet him someday.  I've read about seven of his books which is a real record for me.  He cracks me up and given that today's world is all screwy and I work in a high stress field, his work is a lovely distraction.  Guess I need to put a book signing on my bucket list and make that happen.  Until next time....elizinashe

Soft Kitty, Warm Kitty....

I never really thought I'd ever have a cat being that I love dogs and we always had a dog in the family growing up.  However, way back in college I started watching a comedy show that had various charcters in their troupe.  There was a character named "Hecubus" which I thought would be a cool name for a black cat.  Seemed really fitting.  

As I got older, I became fond of cats and funny enough, my college roommate who loved cats, found a yellow tabby and we named her after another character from the same comedy show.  I saw how cool cats could be and how easy they can be to take care of when you have such a busy schedule but still want a pet.  So...many moons after I left college my childhood best friend, whom I was living with at the time and knew of my 'perfect name for a black cat' came home one day with a tiny little black creature in a small black bag with that gold decorative fringe stuff all around it.  It was perfect.  I was hooked.  

So here I am 18 years later with the same black cat.  Yes, I said 18 years.  He's done that well.  It has not been without it's challenges though.  Six months after I got my Hecubus, a stray was brought into the house by my then live-in boyfriend and we appropriately named him after another character from the same show that Hecubus had been christened with.  I quickly became an owner of two cats.  Hecubus, a black shorthair and Gavin a gray tabby.  And both of their names fit quite too well with the characters they were named after.  The boyfriend was kicked out six months later and I kept the cat which was totally the better end of the stick.  Sadly, Gavin went on to leave this earth about four years ago.  And that was hard. 

And now, as my 'first born' is getting older his health issues are becoming more frequent.  As to be expected.  But what kills me the most is how much it stresses him out when I have to put him in his carrier just to transport him to the clinic.  Not to mention the stress it puts on him for the exam itself.  It's been many years now that we have had to start putting him under sedation just to examine him or get blood work.  Which I am fine with no matter the cost.  It's way more therapeutic for all parties involved.  However, it's the time period that leads up to the initial vet visit that I have more problems as I too, get older and realize how traumatizing the whole ordeal is for my aging kitty.  

I've had to take him in this evening, to which I had scheduled earlier in the day but I spent the majority of the day worrying about the whole trip itself, thinking of how horrible this experience will be for my elderly cat and how I can't take that stress away for him.  It just breaks my heart.  My stomach has been in knots for the majority of the day.  And hearing and seeing him grumble and hiss when we get to the clinic just breaks my heart even more.  There have been times when the attending veterinarian felt like they could 'handle a fiesty cat' without the sedation and all I heard coming from the back of the clinic was blood curdling screams from what sounded like a cat being tortured.  Those times just made me want to puke not to mention extremely angry since I have always voiced my concerns and have said repeatedly that he needs sedation plus it's on his damn chart.  Ugh.. why some professionals don't listen is beyond me...

However, I was listened to this evening when I had to take Hecubus into the clinic tonight.  And I felt very comfortable with the veterinarian that was on duty tonight.  My dear furry loved one is decompressing on the futon, resting quietly and at times, comes to me for comfort after a traumatizing evening.  He is fine for the most part but we need a follow up visit which means more trauma, sedation and a sonogram in the next week.  Looks like we have some gall bladder issues which could mean surgery which means more trauma and stress for my cuddle bug.  Breaks my heart.  I love being a cat owner.  I still want to have a dog or two in my future.  But when it comes to vet visits, it just kills me.  I don't really care about the financial part of it.  I always find a way to pay for it all.  It's just the stress and trauma that leaves a pit in my stomach because I can't take that away for my pet.  They just don't understand like a person does.  I don't know how other pet owners do it.  Maybe I need some group therapy.  Haha....Until next time....praying for some stress free kitty health visits.  I'm gonna need it.  Meow.  elizinashe