Ah, the Holidays...Again..

The Wheels In My Head...

Why is it that the holiday crunch always seems to bring extra unneeded stress?

It's bad enough with the gift giving, sending off cards, making time for family, friends, work and all that other adult stuff.  Let's not forget the horrible traffic either.  Ugh...

My weekend was fine but the last three days have been a bit unsettling.  It's all passing now, but it sure had me wound up for the time.  Work stuff, mom stuff, dad stuff, traffic, cat stuff, meeting stuff, my house is a mess stuff, traffic again, more mom stuff, more phone calls, planning, de-planning, re-planning, restless energy, sour stomach, indecisions, cat complaints, cat worries, mom worries, dad worries, work worries, did I pay that bill worries and of course all before Christmas to which I am in demand prior to and shortly after work wise, with my mother not hearing me that I will be utterly useless Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.  Not that I don't want to be around my mother on those days, but working nights puts me in a bind time wise not to mention needing to be awake and coherent.  Ugh...

And so...here I type while halfway watching a cheesy movie on cable.  Of all the channels I have, they are sucking pretty hard.  Amazon Prime and Netflix is on my bucket list for January.  That's for sure.  Time to catch up and time for a change.  I hope it will keep my interest.  Maybe the money I save in a cable bill will keep me motivated.

Christmas is so very near.   I am so blessed to have wonderful friends and healthy parents.  I have treasures to open and have received lots of cards and treasures in the mail.  I am blessed for sure.  I just hate that I allow my stressors to dictate my mindset.  Sometimes it just feels too much.  But I know it will pass...it just takes a bit of time.  In the meantime, I choose to focus on the positive in the coming days.  I look forward to the New Year coming and leave this stress in the past where it belongs.  Until next time...elizinashe

Fill My Head With Happiness

Tender is the Heart

Love is Precious

I think we all have had our hearts broken a time or two.  Maybe more?  There is always one significant one that's for sure.  One that may still hurt.  One that may hold you back from loving like that again.  One that you may never recover from, even if you have other relationships afterwards.  I don't think I'm in that boat, but I know I keep my heart guarded well and I have known others who never did move forward from that bad heartbreak.  Even if they tried. 

I got inspired to write about such a thing after a movie I watched tonight which also made me think of a card I received for Christmas with a message that makes me a bit sad for the one who sent it to me.  So here I am.  Typing away with no real direction. 

So how do you move on after heartache?  Does the amount of time involved in the relationship count?  Is there a time limit?  What if you never are able to "let go"?  How do you help another realize that they are "stuck" and will not find happiness or a sense of peace until they just let that baggage travel on?  Or is it romantic to keep "holding a flame" for the loved?  Unless, you're some creepy stalker type-but I think you know what I mean.  Or attempting to describe. 

I know for myself, I have had heartbreaks.   I had my significant one in my late 20s.  And it was hard.  Really hard.  But I eventually moved on.  And followed my dream as a result.  I can't complain about that.  I've had others but just not as significant.  Maybe I learned from the big one.  Maybe I learned to be more protective.  Maybe both.

I've had friends who have had much joy and sorrow, many trials of tribulations and celebrations and many wonderful outcomes after a horrible time.  I suppose it's a cycle of growing up and becoming an adult, although I believe we learn to become that said adult throughout our lives. 

I think I've come pretty far.  I've done pretty damn well given the circumstances.  And I'm proud of that.  But when you have loved ones who just can't see the possibilities, the hope and the second chances it makes me a bit sad.  What makes it harder is when you feel what may come to pass, which is never a positive thing, and then outcome will be that much harder.  What do you do? 

I choose to live for me.  I choose to love and support my family and friends.  And I choose to have the wisdom to keep moving forward and not dwell or hold on to the past as it does nothing but weigh you down.  I wish others could see that as well.  Until next time...elizinashe. 

May We All Find Lasting Love

I Ain't Doin It

😂 Laugh Out Loud More 😂

Ah, laughter.  It really is a good thing. 

I stumbled across a video that a friend had shared on Facebook a few weeks ago.  I was laughing out so loud that I thought I was going to wake up my patients as I had spied it in the wee hours of the morning.  Turns out that this lady has quite a few videos on her YouTube channel.  And I have watched several.

This woman, Heather Land, is just too funny.  She's like a breath of fresh air.  Apparently she's been doing this for a while now as her previous videos are a bit longer and the editing is a bit choppy.  However, she has certainly perfected her craft and has found a way to keep it clever and quick.  And she always ties it up with the same phrase "Ain't doin' it." 

She gripes about many everyday topics that we all struggle with but without hatred or being demeaning.  She says what we all have wanted to say and bitch about.  And there is nothing political about her videos.  I like that.

In our current state of affairs of bullying, lies, greed, sexual harassment, holiday shopping and work related stress this lady is a welcomed distraction.  And for you parents, she touches on the parenting world too.  Walmart, picking up kids at school and raising a teenage son.  Yep...she's done it all.  And I can't wait for her next rant.  She is too funny and makes my heart happy.  Check out the "Staff Meeting" down below on the link.  You won't regret it.  Until next time...elizinashe

https://youtu.be/N0rwVZs5rkg 

😊 Hope Your Day is Brighter 😊

Learn From the Animals

Follow Your Tribe

We've all heard the saying "elephants never forget".  I know that to be true. 

Many years ago, I was watching a documentary about a family herd of elephants that some researchers were following.  Now mind you, I'm not in the habit of watching documentaries often but at the time it tweaked my interest so I tuned in for the show. 

So elephants are very family oriented.  They all take care of each other and all look out for the baby.  It truly is a "it takes a village" mentality.  I think that's pretty amazing. 

Why am I telling you about some elephant documentary? (That I watched 10+ years ago.)  Well...I was quite struck and filled with emotion as I watched these animals move through a loss.  There was a pair of sister elephants in this group, one of which had a baby.  As the herd was migrating to their next location for the season, the mother elephant began to lag behind.  The rest of the group began to linger and try and wait for the mother elephant to catch up, but it became clear that something was wrong.  So the sister elephant prods the baby along, the rest of the elephants help push the baby along as the mother elephant stayed behind.  The mother elephant eventually died. 

So the season passes, and the same herd of elephants make their way back to where they came from.  Which meant passing the carcass of the mother elephant that died.  All of the elephants stopped and rubbed their trunks on the remains of their friend.  Including the baby that had grown.  All of the elephants stopped to pay their respects and I assume to grieve as they were making noises and such.  The sister elephant stayed the longest, rubbing her trunk all around her sister. 

I found this level of human understanding quite amazing.  I had tears in my eyes.  I was crying like an idiot over a documentary.  Good thing I was alone at the time.  haha...Regardless, this is something that has stuck in my head for years.  I don't think I will ever forget it. 

I was amazed at the level of compassion, remembrance and empathy that these creatures have in their head.  They have an understanding that we humans could learn from.  Especially in today's world.  Why can't we all be more like the elephants?  There is much to learn from all of our creatures that roam the Earth don't ya think?  I wish more people would think about that a bit more, don't you?  Until next time...elizinashe

Love One Another

The Grass is Always Greener

Current State of Mind

I go through phases where I do that "I wonder if" mentality.  Meaning, how different would my life be if I made other choices along the way.  That's normal, right?  Is that just a part of growing regardless of your age?

I am certain that if brother had not died, my life would be totally different.  Would I have been happier?  Would I have remained in Arkansas?  Would I have still moved to North Carolina?  Maybe I would have married young and my weekends would be filled with child related activities.  Maybe I would have been totally miserable.  Maybe I would still be spending my time trying to be like him. 

What about that boyfriend back in college.  What if we had married?  Or the guy after a horrible break-up in my late 20s.  Did I dismiss that relationship too soon? 

I'm not complaining about my life as it is.  And I am glad I never married any of those guys as those relationships really didn't have much sustainability.  Or so I believed at that time.  And I still do today. 

I certainly would not have met some of the people in my life today if I had not moved away from home.  I can't imagine my life without them.  I certainly would not have learned about myself either.  I am way stronger than I give myself credit, but I do admit some days are really hard. 

Sometimes I wish I had a guardian angel to remind me that I'm on the right path and if I had made other decisions along the way, the outcome might not have been the best for me.  I wish I had a Clarence.  I could use a little visit like that every once and a while.  Couldn't we all? 

Who is Clarence you say?  Then you need to go back a few years and check out "It's a Wonderful Life".  Get the tissues ready too.  You won't regret it.  Until next time...elizinashe

Someone to Watch Over Me

Ah..the Holidays...

Spice It Up This Year! 

So the Thanksgiving Feast with the Thanksgiving Beast is shortly upon us.  It will be here sooner than you think.  Better plan out the festivities so you don't have to rush around the last minute.  Perhaps you will take an easy way out and just not do anything at all.  And that's okay too.  Less stress if you really think about it.

My traditional plans for this year have changed.  I'm not quite sure how I really feel about it yet.  Typically I gather with my mother and friends for the said feast with a beast a day or two before, sometimes after, mostly due to work schedules and friend schedules.  This time, I'm not quite sure if it's going to happen at all. 

I suppose if I had a significant other, or a spouse and children in tow, my plans would be different.  But I don't.  I'm the single girl.  Who works.  One who's job always is one to never be closed on Thanksgiving.  Except for a few times.  But these days, hospitals never close.  And it is expected that you will work one major holiday-Thanksgiving or Christmas.  And I'm fine with that. 

But...being that I "always work", my mother has made other arrangements.  Hmm..I guess I'm okay with that but there is a part of me that's a bit miffed too.  I can't help it.  Maybe it's jealousy.  Maybe it's hurt.  I don't know.  Regardless, as long as I don't dwell on the particulars and the solitude prior to my Thanksgiving work week, I will be fine.  It just gets a  little harder each year it seems.  Having a disconnected family has its downside.  A side that seems to trouble me more and more each year. 

I hope that your Thanksgiving Feast is filled with much love, laughter and delicious food.  I may not be able to be with my family, or have the time away from work like I wish, but I know I have wonderful friends and a spectacular work family to keep me afloat.  I really can't complain about that now can I?  Thanks for listening.  Until next time..elizinashe

Blessings For Your Table

Recap

Ahhh....

It's shortly after midnight, but it seems like it should be so much later.  I place blame on the time change.  It gets darker way sooner therefore triggering your brain to slow down and hunker down at home.  Maybe that's a good thing. 

Another shooting.  It's all so senseless.  And once again there will be debates and arguments about gun control.  And once again, some jackass will place blame on terrorists.  But from the beginnings of the investigation, it has nothing to do with outside forces, influences or acts of terrorism outside of our own country.  Just a random ill person who had weapons meant for war.  When will it ever stop?

My time away from work was a mixed bag.  I randomly took some vacation time which made my heart and soul quite happy.  The downside was I got sick during that time and had to cancel special plans.  Ugh...I'm still kind of sad about that.  Oh well....at least I was already off work.  That cabin fever though!  Shew!  Glad I'm over the ick. 

Does anyone ever cross out the "to do " list in their off time?  I used to be so good at that.  Not so much these days.  It seems my time management skills in my personal life slacks more and more.  I think that's going to be a life long battle in my world.  Might as well get used to it, eh?  Oh if only I had a magic wand...

Christmas is coming!  Better get that shopping done.  I refuse to go out and shop on "Black Friday" .  I hate crowds.  And the traffic will be more than ridiculous.  Can't stand it.  I cannot think of anything that I need or want to buy for family or friends in a chaos such as holiday shopping.  It's too material.  And if you're camping out the night before any particular store opens for business, then you may want to reflect on your priorities.  Is it really worth it?  What about the time you will miss being with your said family and/or friends?  Can you buy that in a store?  I think not.

I skim the news to find something entertaining and inspiring so I may write about it.  However, it's all just such crap.  It's rather disheartening.  So until I find something ridiculous, you're pretty much stuck reading about what's in my little head.  Maybe it's time to make up more stories.  Hmm....we all could use a bedtime story regardless of our age don't ya think?  Until next time....elizinashe

Wonder What Lovely Story This Book Holds

Click to Send

😞 I Don't Feel Good 😞

So I got the crud.  I first thought it was just a head cold, but as time went on, I knew better.  Ugh.  I hate being sick.  It sucks.  Especially when you live alone.  Although my neighbor and another friend offered to bring me stuff if I needed anything.  Fortunately, I had enough creatures of comfort already here so I was good in that department. 

Being that it is a Sunday, my only choice to be seen by a doctor was either the Emergency Room (hell no!) or one of those "walk in " clinics.  One of those clinics is really close to where I currently live.  (Score!)  I went on-line to see what time they opened since I did wake up rather early for a night shifter.  And much to my surprise, I could book my appointment on-line, give them a few particulars about my symptoms, arrive slightly before my chosen time for paperwork stuff and then be seen by the practitioner.  Weird.  But not weird, given today's modern technology and more "face time" with MDs trying to reach out to rural areas and Emergency Departments.  Yep...it's happening.

We book hotel rooms on-line, buy airplane tickets on-line, and reserve cars on-line.  We Uber, Lyft, Match, Amazon, Netflix, Wal-Mart, complete educational degrees and now book medical appointments on-line.  Is it convenient?  Sure...especially in my particular situation for today.  Question is, how far will this "on-line" stuff go?  Will we become so dependent on on-line services that people will lose more jobs to a computer?  Will we become so dependent on technology that we will become numb to human emotion and interaction?  We could debate about this for eons, but I leave it simple.  And what about those who do not have access to a computer? Or have a smart phone?  What happens to them?  

I was happy that I was able to book my own appointment on short notice and be seen by a practitioner.  And sure enough, I had an infection.  The NP spent plenty of time with me and I didn't feel like I was rushed in and out.  I received a thorough exam for the symptoms, and my prescription was sent electronically to a drug store near by.  The wait time was cut in half compared to the "old days".  I was home by noon with meds in hand and a long nap soon followed.  I really can't complain about that.  But again...still makes me think, how far will this "on-line" stuff go?  Just a thought.  Until next time...elizinashe

😉 Click to Confirm 😉

Getting Older

Needing a Peace of Mind

We can't stop the aging process.  It's a natural cycle of life.  I don't necessarily feel old myself, although there are some days that my body tells me different.  Ugh...

I'm relatively healthy.  I eat pretty well aside from a random burger or a pile of Mexican food.  I do have an affinity for sausage and eggs after work though.  I'm pretty sure my LDLs and Triglycerides aren't looking too good these days. Gotta stop that habit. 

Working in the healthcare field sure does make ya think, that's for sure.  I sometimes worry who will be my voice as I age.  Who will take care of me when I can no longer care for myself.  And given the current state of affairs of our healthcare system, how will I pay for it? 

More importantly, my parents are approaching 80 years young.  I am thankful that they are both in good health aside from a couple of normal age related issues.  However, some of those issues do bear a close watch.  And being that my father is living in another state far from me, that worries me quite a bit some days.  How will I know he's okay?  How will I manage his healthcare needs from afar?  How many trips will I need to take to handle his needs? 

My mother lives about 45 minutes from me which is quite close.  But I know there are things that she does not tell me which royally pisses me off.  How can I take care of her needs when she doesn't keep me clued in?  And when the time comes, how will I take care of her needs?  I hope I won't need to find placement for her.  Or my father for that matter.  I hate the idea of either one of them living in a nursing home.  That's just no way to live but I do understand that it is completely necessary in certain situations.   What an ugly side of aging.  Wish I had craploads of money so I can build a couple of "granny pods.  That way I can keep them both close and in a home of their own. 

How will I cope?  How will I know what decisions to make?  Will it be a long process?  Or will they both go quickly and painlessly?  God I hope the latter.  And I hope that I will be emotionally prepared as well.  And what really stresses me out is I will most likely be doing this on my own.  I am the surviving child between my parents.  I have no children of my own, no significant other in my life with no prospects of meeting a good man to be my rock.  Not that I truly need one to survive but it sure would be nice to have another shoulder to rest my worries. 

These are things that run through my head from time to time and I feel like it's been a bit more frequent lately.  It can't be ignored that's for sure.  I will admit it makes me a bit fearful.  And I don't like that feeling.  I wish I would have had enough foresight in my younger days to be more prepared both emotionally and financially.  I wish I would have asked more questions and learned more about planning for your parents future.  I still have time but I feel like it's gonna be a crash course.  Maybe that's the way its supposed to be in my corner of the world.  Who knows.  Time will tell.  Until next time...elizinashe

Let the Fire Inside Guide You

The New Guy in My Life

Trevor Noah

Okay, so no...I really don't have a new romance as of present, but I do however have a new famous person obsession.  I may be a bit behind the times on this, but then again perhaps not.

I've been hearing about Trevor Noah for some time now.  I've been catching him more frequently on the Daily Show and have seen him on a talk show or two.  He seems to be a really hot ticket these days.  At least in America.

1).  He's really funny and wicked smart. 
2).  He grew up in a difficult time that 90% of us could never understand. 
3).  He's got a keen sense of observation. 

Need I go on?  I saw that he was coming to do a stand-up gig in my town a couple of months ago.  I immediately knew I wanted to go.  And I knew immediately who I wanted to go with me.  For some reason, I felt like this was extremely important to see this show.  Not that I felt like it would be some big political thing or one of those "life changing moments", but I knew I just had to go.  

And so I went.  With my bestie in tow.  And it was all worth it even if we were in the first balcony.

I was lucky enough to find his book about a week prior to the show at a used book store.  I read it in a within a week which is a record for me.  It was painfully funny and very well written.  I felt like I could hear him tell his story as if he was sitting in front of me. 

Trevor grew up in South Africa during the Apartheid with a black mother and a white father.  That was a big "no-no" back then not to mention totally illegal.  (huh?).  This guy lived through some shit, y'all.  Even slept inside a car at night because he did not have a proper bed in one phase of his life.  There were times when there was no food, so he went hungry.  But somehow...he survived.  And became very successful.  He broke the cycle of living what could have been a horrible life.   And he's humble about it too. 

I learned so much by reading his book that I am just fascinated with his story.  I want to know more.  I want to know what happened to his friends he mentioned his his book.  I want to know what happened to the girl he fell in love with and that suddenly moved to the States as her father got a job here in our country.  He never did get the chance to profess his feelings.  I wonder if he's found her now on Facebook.  Maybe she found him? 

I want to hear him speak the six South African languages he learned, mostly out of survival and some of it rooted in  ancestry.  Check out the Xhosa language.  I find it fascinating.  And he can speak that as his mother was Xhosa.  I've already Googled the other languages too.  Again...I find it fascinating. 

What amazes me the most, is this guy grew up in an era that was rooted in hatred, racism, violence, crime and poverty.  And yet, this guy overcame his hardships and made a career for himself.  Yes, many comedians have some sort of tragic background, thus they cope with comedy and silly jokes.  But this guy makes his experiences funny and in a way, a teaching forum.  He's always grateful and humble for his success.  And he really doesn't say a mean or hateful word about his subjects in his comedic routine.  He's wickedly sharp.  And I want to know more and more and more about his life and hear more of his stories.  I've always been a sucker for a good yarn or two. 

If you haven't read his book yet, I highly recommend putting it on your reading list.  I promise you won't get bored.  There were times I just wanted to hug him, and others I am laughing my ass off.  His mother must be a Saint and that is all I will say about that.  Check it out folks-"Born a Crime" -it's a good read.  And you just might find yourself wanting to know more about him just like me.  Until next time....elizinashe. 

Something To Remember

Angel In Disguise?

Little Things Can Mean So Much

I had an unusual experience today while driving around town running errands.  And when I thought about it a bit more, it seems like I've been having frequent "unusual experiences".  I guess you could say it's more of a Good Samaritan experience vs. something strange or not common.

Example you say?  Well, for one, I found a man's wallet lying by an ATM on a late Sunday afternoon a few weeks back.  There was no one else around, the bank was closed and the overnight depository was made for envelopes and not for something bulky, like some dude's wallet.

I could not in good conscience leave the wallet there.  I'd hate to think that some random person would discover this wallet and steal all that he/she could.  That would just suck.  So I turned the wallet into the Lost & Found at the grocery store that was in the same complex with hopes of management tracking this man down and returning his belongings.

And that was just one experience of many the last three months.

Today, I saw a little old lady walking down a very busy road next to our municipal golf course walking pretty much in traffic and not in the grass.  She stuck out like a sore thumb so to speak.  No purse, no golf gear, not even looking for a lost golf ball.  She truly seemed out of place and perhaps a bit lost.  You just don't see little old gray haired ladies walking down a city road everyday.  So I called the police department to voice my concerns and encourage them to go and pick her up.  I gave them my story, a description of what she looked like and where she was going.  I hope they got to her before she got hit by some driver because that could have totally happened.

I have had other incidences that I have encountered recently to which I will spare you the details.   But when I reflect on the last few months and these little encounters that I have found, I can't help but wonder why me?  Maybe it was "meant to be" .  Maybe if I ignored such things, that a negative outcome would have occurred as a result.  Maybe it's a new calling?  Not that I go and search for this sort of thing, but rather just "happened to be there".

I hope that old lady is safe.  And I hope that guy got his wallet back.  They say good deeds don't go unpunished.  I guess I will know someday that these small good deeds will be repaid when I need it.  In the meantime, I will continue to move forward in my life, watch over my aging kitty and make time for the little things.

May we all be blessed and may we all remember to be kind to each other, even if it's a stranger.  Until next time...elizinashe

It's a Big World Out There!

Restless, Bored & Wide Awake

Ever Have One of These Nights?

Ah..the night shifter blues....

It's late and I should be in bed like a normal person, but I am not.  I'm a bit restless, bored with the television and wide awake.  Ugh..

I suppose I could do a little cleaning but I'm just not motivated.  I did load up the dishwasher and turned it on, so that counts right? 

I've done pretty good knocking out my "to do" list the last couple of days.  My main goal was to get a few errands out of the way before Irma's leftovers hovered over our part of the world.  She sure was a bitch.  We've had steady rain since late afternoon and our nighttime hours were flavored with some high winds and some a gusty blasts that left you a bit nervous.  There are numerous trees down in the area and some folks are without power.  So far I'm good.  My lights flickered for a bit and I did lose some power for about 5 seconds.  And that's about it.  I'm so glad I moved away from my previous residence as I am sure the trees around that place were soon to come down on a windy night.  Sheesh!

I had hoped that the eclipse were to bring good ju-ju and a new beginning.  It seems like it's been quite the opposite.  We have horrible fires out west, two significant hurricanes and an earthquake in Mexico between the said earthquakes.  Mother Nature sure ain't happy.  Maybe she's trying to tell us something.  Maybe this is Mother Nature's way of resetting the game.  Guess time will tell...

In the meantime, I will continue to flip through the cable with hopes of finding something that will catch my attention for a bit, maybe step outside for a smoke and hit the hay within the hour.  I still have a few things to knock out before I return to work and I need some normal daylight hours in order to get it all done.   Keeping fingers crossed.   Until next time...elizinashe

Tomorrow is a New Day

I Think I'm a Romantic

😊 Hearts Make Me Happy 😊

I've never been one to always have a boyfriend or even have a date every weekend.  Hell, I can't even remember when I actually had a real date or a boyfriend as a matter of fact.  But I still have hope...

I've never really been big on flowers or a box of chocolates although that is nice every now and then.  I do like the little things though.  That little kiss on the back of the neck, maybe a slow dance or two and small gestures without the assumption of sex or some other form of a payback. 

I watched a romantic movie earlier tonight, one that I've seen a dozen times but the story in itself was lovely.  It wasn't one of those super sappy romances but one that builds on friendship and trust and then blossoms into love.  I kind of like that.  I am now on another romantic movie, loosely based on a true story.  Again, I like the story line.  It's not too sappy and the movie shows how this one couple rebuilds their life after tragic events and rediscover each other again and fall in love like they did the first time around.  Peppered with first time dates and building on a friendship, leaving their past behind.  Oh yeah, I've seen the all of the newer Jane Austen movies derived from her books too.

Does this make me a secret romantic? 

In my younger years, I aspired to have a relationship like my grandparents had instead of my own parents.  I'm not sure why, other than the way my grandparents met and they way they always worked together as a couple inspired me.  Yes, they had the struggles and arguments but they worked through those waters and always kissed each other everyday.  They were married for 60 plus years before my grandfather passed away.  That's a lot of years folks.  And a lifetime of love and memories.  I like that.

I don't think I will make it to 60 years of marriage.  Hell, I'd do well if I can even keep a guy for more than a year.  But again, I still have hope.  There is a part of me that has always believed that I'm just going to be that girl who has random boyfriends and never really will have a partner to stick with me until the bitter end.  I'm kind of okay with that and kind of not. 

In the meantime, I guess I will stick with my movies, memories of my grandparents and live vicariously through my friends who have wonderful and just as inspiring relationships.  I admire that too.  And maybe one of these days, I will write my own romantic story and live that life outside of the movie screen.  Until next time...elizinashe

💕 What's Your Romantic Story?  💕

What? Summer Is Over?

🙋 Thanks for Visiting!  🙋

Wow..where did August go?  I feel like it just flew by in a quick blink.  I feel like I didn't do much, but once I reflect back I had a pretty fun month.  And September began with a piano concert with my mother and one of our other girly friends.  It sure was a treat.

This past month has also been a bit of "kitty patrol".  My old man Hecubus is old and getting frail.  It really makes me sad and I know his time is limited.  So I try and give him extra love and comfort, watching for signs of further decline and praying that I will be at home and away from work when his time on this Earth is done.  I hate the idea of being at work and my kitty is in pain and alone in the house.  I hope that won't be the case. 

We have a bright, beautiful moon out tonight.  It's nearly full and quite comforting to see.  There is a change in the air with cooler temperatures and a gentle breeze.  In fact, it's been chilly enough late at night that when I step out on my deck I put on my bathrobe to keep me warm as I take in the stars and fresh air.  I guess I'm turning into a little old lady in some ways.  Maybe that's not a bad thing. 

My hope for the coming Fall season is to have more happy thoughts and adventures.  I pray for our country to heal and unite as there has been so much hate spread across our map.  I just don't get it.  I pray that Congress will put country before party.  I think they have forgotten that vital piece of democracy.  I will say that the countless volunteers, famous folks and local businessmen have stepped up to the plate in helping out thy neighbor down there in Texas.  There are some good people in this world.  I think we all need to remember that everyday don't ya think?  Until next time...elizinashe

 💗 Spread Some Love Today! 💗

Restless & Frustrated

Feeling a Bit Like This

I really shouldn't complain about my world.  I am blessed and lucky.  And my heart breaks for Texas.  I could not imagine what those people are going through.  But...I just can't shake this depressed like state of mind.  Maybe it's Mercury pulling on me.  What is Mercury you ask?  Look it up Mercury Retrograde.  It will save a lot of babble talk from me. 

I know for the most part, it's just situational.  But it still nags at me.  I've procrastinated on a couple of necessary things to which now, I feel like it's a bit overwhelming to tackle now, so I procrastinate more.  Ugh...and then I continue to feel bad about procrastinating.  To some, it may be no big deal, but to me, it's bothersome.  How did I become so lazy?  Is it working the night shift?  I don't know.

My kitty waxes and wanes.  When I think it's time to "make that call", he perks up and he is bright once again.  I feel like I've been on cat patrol for the last month.  I've been keeping a daily record of his eating habits, bowel movements, medications and all that jazz.  It's getting a bit ridiculous.  He's not in any pain nor is he suffering.  I know he feels puny at times, and then he rebounds.  It's a strange cycle.  My biggest fear is that he's going to get really sick while I'm at work and I can't do what needs to be done.  Another strike for being single.  Man it would be so much easier if I had someone to walk this life with me.  Or so I think. 

My summer has been good and I've had a lot of fun, but it sure would have been nice to escape to the beach.  I still need to do that and soon.  But again...unexpected expenses and a sickly kitty keeps me from staying away too long.  Ugh...

I just wish I could catch a break.  Again, I'm lucky and blessed.  I just wish this unhappy feeling would just pass and lift away.  Something good needs to come my way.  I need a boost.  Until next time...elizinashe

Aiming for More of This

Mean People Suck

Feeling All Jumbled

Regardless of what you do for work, you will always have personality clashes and ones that you can never please no matter what you do or say.  I am no better than the next person, I make mistakes and I expect that my fellow co-workers exude the same temperament.  However, I know that can't always be true. 

I also know that one or sometimes two persons who have those unrealistic expectations and perfectionist ideals will never be happy with the work you do.  I also know that it is something that has been taught or learned due to something in their past, or an expectation that was made of them and has followed them into their adulthood and working life.  I get that. 

What I don't get is a consistent disapproving, condescending, micromanaging, disrespectful attitude towards others and co-workers, leaving them feeling unappreciated, angry and sometimes in tears for no reason other than their expectations and their high standards were not met, when in reality, that is just an unrealistic expectation to begin with. 

And when such behavior is thrown in the face of many, and not just one person, then it's a problem.  The tricky thing is, sometimes when you do address such an issue with your superiors, nothing ever changes or worse yet, that superior may be "tight" with the said person with the unrealistic perfectionist issues.  So...how do you work around that?  What kind of charge do you get by being so mean and high & mighty?  I would think it does nothing but start your day off feeling stressed out on top of an already stressed out job.  So why would you want to put yourself through that?  And watching good co-workers being treated with such behavior doesn't make you feel good or appreciated either. 

It's a tricky deck of cards that's for sure.  I refuse to be played like the Joker and I always aim for winning Aces, but sometimes your going to get a Spade.  And that's okay.  I just wish some people would stop expecting Diamonds every damn day.  ( How do you like that use of metaphors?  😉 )

Until next time....elizinashe

Why Can't We All Just Get Along?  

Jackpot !

🙏 Make Me a Winner ! 🙏

No, I didn't win a crapload of money, but it sure would be nice.  The Power Ball ticket has not found a winner yet.  The numbers haven't been magical for anyone and the payout is more than you could ever imagine.  It's quite ridiculous. 

I've never bought a lottery ticket, although I just might.  I'm pretty sure I won't be a winner, but the wish is there and I'm hopeful that it will bring me luck of some sort, regardless if I'm a winner or not.  Big or small. 

I've often thought what I'd do if I ever did win a pile of money.  It certainly would be a blessing.  And perhaps a curse too.  I would not want my face splashed across the papers or be on TV.  I would want to remain anonymous.  By all means.  But, if I did win...man oh man...

I'd pay off all my debts and make sure my parents are taken care of as they age as their long term  care will be necessary.  I sure as hell take a nice vacation too.  And rope in some of my good friends along for the respite.  In fact, I'd travel to places that I've always wanted to visit.  Both in our country and outside of our country.  It's a really big world out there...I want to explore that more. 

I'd set money aside for my own future, donate to local charities and hire someone to clean my house as I really hate spending the time doing that adult sort of thing.  I'm pretty sure I'd splurge on a few things but as for a big giant house or big ticket items, no thank you.  I would want to keep it simple and use that money for exploring and adventurous experiences.  Life is short and I would want to do as much as I can without wasting my new found wealth.  And I'm most certain that I would drive myself crazy in overthinking about it too.  Part of my charm. 

No...I don't think I will win but the idea of it makes me feel pretty good.  It's a lot more fun thinking about that than all the other crap that swirls in my head and I find its a great stress reducer too.    Can't go wrong with that, eh?  Until next time...elizinashe

😉 May We All Be Blessed With Ben  😉

It's the End of the World As We Know It...

Get Those Glasses On!

Okay, so the world is not ending, however it certainly seems to be spinning on a highly volatile axis these days.  Some days I just can't believe my eyes.  However, we've got an eclipse upon us.  Maybe we all need a bit of the dark from Mother Nature so the new light may shine where it needs to shine.

I'm lucky to live in an area where there will be a 98% totality of the solar eclipse.  Wow...I'm not much of a geek when it comes to this sort of stuff but I feel very lucky to live in the path of this phenomenal event.  I've got my glasses and plans to sit on my deck to bask in the moment.  I'm kind of worried about the whole eye thing despite having the ISO approved glasses.  Maybe I'll just keep my eyes closed as a precaution.

Through modern science, such celestial events are easier to predict.  This event apparently is one of a kind, at least in North America not to mention in my neck of the woods.  Long before giant telescopes, math equations and all that other geeky stuff, shooting stars and eclipse's must have instilled panic among the masses.  I am certain that there was a small minority of indigenous peoples knew better, maybe worshiping such a gift or perhaps taking it as an omen.  Regardless, we are lucky to have such knowledge of how and why these things happen.  I know from history many ancient peoples looked to the stars and the heavens for guidance, inspiration, superstitions, life and death.  Being that I'm a bit superstitious myself and ask the Universe for what I need, I think I will take this Solar Eclipse as a way to renew and rejuvenate in my own life.  I hope the rest of the World will take the same opportunity.  Otherwise, Mother Nature might have a different plan in the days to come.

Until next time...elizinashe.

Let's All Be Kind to Our World

Troubled Mind

My Head is a Mess Today

Today should be a day of fun and relaxation.  I had plans for dinner with some friends but alas, life got in the way and I had to cancel.  We were pretty flexible about it anyway, but I was looking forward to doing something different and spending time with good peeps. 

My kitty is sick and I had to take him back to the vet this afternoon as he's not recovering like he should when I took him three nights ago.  It just breaks my heart to take him to the vet, as it stresses him out in a terrible way, and it worries me as well.  He's getting old and puny.  I know he doesn't feel good and I wish I could just take his discomfort away.  But I can't.  I just want to hold him in my arms and make it all better.  Hopefully the vet will be able to determine what's going on this time around.  And I hope it's quick.  It's weird to be in the house without him hanging around. 

I fell asleep on the couch earlier this afternoon, which I needed a good nap but man...were my dreams ever weird.  First, I had a brief period of Sleep Paralysis.  If you don't know what that is, look it up and hope you never experience it.  It's a very strange and frightening feeling.  Then I dreamt that I fell down some stairs, catching myself before I hit the ground and after that I had a really weird dream which involved my father.  No, not one of those dreams.  Let's get real.  I'll just say it was quite disturbing and scared me a bit.  I'm pretty sure it's all related to my subconscious and my worries about his health and aging, especially since he's so far away.  Regardless, it was a disturbing dream.  It's kind of messing with my head. 

In the meantime, I'm trying to keep myself busy while I wait for the vet to call and the memories of my afternoon dream waft away.  It's not a very happy Sunday for me....it actually kind of sucks.  It's been a long, hard week on many levels.  Sometimes this adult stuff sucks ass.  Wish I would have known this sooner.  haha...I'm just moving through the waves.  At least my head is still above water.  Until next time....elizinashe

Hoping for a Better Door This Week

What's In the Bag?

She's Cute in Red

The English are pretty well devoted to their Queen and all things Royal.  It's a different country with a long history of a regal ruler.  It certainly is not like what it used to be but some traditions are still intact with all its pomp and circumstance. 

Future Queen Age 7

Anyway...the Queen.  As I was trying to fall asleep the other night, this random thought crossed my mind for no particular reason.  Maybe it was my brain's way to throw out our country's hot mess of a political situation.  Regardless, the Queen has always carried that same type of 'pill box' handbag in all of her years of Reign.  No should bags, no glitzy clutches, no wallet styles or a simple small purse.  Always an old lady handbag.  An apparently that started at an early age back in the day.

So my question is, how many handbags does she have after all these years?  And what does she keep in that little pillbox of a bag?  Tissues perhaps?  No, she's Royalty.  That would be a monogrammed handkerchief.  What about lipstick?  Certainly eye glasses these days.  A compact of powder?  What does a Queen keep in her purse?  Does she have a key to the Palace in case she gets locked out?  Pepper spray?  What about a smart phone? Hmm..an itinerary and notes of people's names so she won't forget who's who  at whatever gathering she may be attending?  Curious minds want to know. 

What's in your wallet Your Royal Highness?  This down-to-earth chic wants to know!  I'll show you mine if you show me yours.  😉  Until next time...elizinashe

You Think She's Got a Flask in That Bag? 

Late Night Bits

Cheers! 

Our hot weather is beginning to settle in for a few days.  Ugh...not looking forward to that at all.  Keeping my fingers crossed that my air conditioning unit doesn't crap out on me.  It's still really new, and I always have a routine maintenance checks to make sure all the bells and whistles are in good shape.  I think I will be fine. 

I caught up with a traveling girlfriend today.  I'm lucky if I see her once a year.  She has an unusual job and is sometimes in my area for work.  She will be leaving by the end of the week for her next gig.  I've known this woman for nearly twenty years now.  Wow...amazing.  It seems like we just saw each other yesterday.  Funny how those kind of friendships work, eh?  Needless to say...we headed downtown for some shopping, eats and drinks and lots of catching up.  It was hot for sure, but the time spent with a girlfriend and a few drinks made it more than worth the while.

My kitty has been kind of puny lately.  I almost took him to the vet the other evening, but he seemed to rally around and his complaints were mostly food related.  But...he hasn't quite been himself since I've been home.  He's a bit more quite and somewhat isolative but mostly to the couch.  Hmmm...he still has his bright, curious eyes but there is something else behind them too.  I know he doesn't feel good.  I don't know if it's the heat or if he's on his way out of this life.  And if it's the latter of the two, it won't be pretty for me.  Especially since I'm about to start a long stretch of days at work.  It may come down to calling out sick one night while I deal with what may come to pass.  I hope I'm wrong.

Being that I'm often up late at night, I see airplanes high in the sky, making their way across the night.  Although we have a small airport, I know at this time of night there aren't any major flights coming in for a landing nor is anything taking off.  It makes me wonder where that plane came from, where is it going and who's on the plane in these wee hours.  Where is this "red eye flight" taking them?  Makes me wonder....

I have a post "saved" for a possible publish.  It's a bit harsh I think but looking back on previous posts, I was often critical and sometimes quite sarcastic about whatever random topic I chose to write about.  I have that random post finished and ready but I'm hesitant to hit that button and make it known to my readers.  I'm not really sure why.  It's not that I want to censor myself, but I feel like it's a bit immature and possibly mean.  But it sure did feel good to write about something else for a change other than my own life and complaints.  Who wants to read about my bitching all the time anyway?  Maybe I'll post it later.  We all need a change from the current news and our busy lives don't ya think?  Until next time....elizinashe

Keep It in the Shade! 

Call Me Ms. Cranky Pants

Baby It's Hot Outside! 

Ooo..it's hot.  Granted it is July after all, but man...it's just a bit too hot for me.  And I hate it.  It makes me cranky and irritable.  Especially when I'm running around town trying to tackle all those adult things.  Ugh...when will that end?  Plus, we are smack in the middle of our "busy season" so there are idiots all over the damn road not paying any attention to where they are going or other drivers.  They just go...and then cut in front of you, take up two parking spaces, change lanes suddenly and all that jazz.  Yo, jackass!  It's called a blinker!

Ugh...I really struggle in the summer months cooking and meal planning wise.  It's too hot to cook and my appetite diminishes and nothing sounds appealing.  And then I wait too long to eat, get really, really hungry and then I go out and eat junk.  And as a result, I feel like crap afterwards.  It's a vicious cycle I tell ya.  Where is that pool boy?  Why can't someone else make me dinner and plan my meals?  I don't see how people who live in Florida or hell..Arizona for that matter put up with such hot weather all the damn time.  Especially Arizona.  I don't care if they say it's a "dry heat".  A 110+ degrees is 110+ degrees!  That's too damn hot for me folks!  Bleh!

Needless to say...the evenings bring us summer storms and a slight respite from the day's heat.  Tomorrow is a new day and hopefully I will knock out the rest of my "to do" list as I just couldn't get it all done today like I wanted.  Can I whine some more?  haha...One bonus...I  made a quick trip to the store after dinner for ice cream.  Yep..sure did.  And it was damn good.  This weekend is going to be a doozy.  Our temperatures will be the hottest that we've had so far this season.  I just hope it's a quick one and then we're done with it.  I don't want the rest of our summer to be so stupid hot.  Otherwise, there will be one cranky bitch complaining until no end.  😉  Until next time...

I Need to Be Here! 

So Far, So Good

Mmmmm....Hot Chocolate.

Every January I make a "wish/goal list".  Not a Resolution list, but stuff I want and hope to accomplish in the coming year.  I keep that list out as a shout out to the Universe, as I believe if you "put it out there" those things will come to you.  But I also believe that you have to work towards it as well.  Good things don't always come easily. 

As I sit here next to my computer, my list is to my left with all the little things I have written down.  And as I reflect on my list, I'm doing pretty good in crossing out my wishes.  Granted, I know I won't ever achieve every single thing, but if I get even half of it done, I'd say it's been a pretty good year. 

I've been to three musical events thus far, and one on the way in September.  There are a lot of shows this summer and I wanted to go to each and every one, but that is just not doable.  Maybe next time...I have spent more time with friends doing fun things and taking pictures.  I'm one step closer to going completely wireless television wise and I've had people over for dinner in my new home.  And "tickling the ivories" as they say is habit I'm trying to do more often, especially before I leave for work as it puts me in an easy frame of mind. 

Some of the other stuff...well I still need to work on that but I feel like I'm getting closer to those silly things.  But sometimes you just have to stop and be patient for such things.  Plus, finances always come into play so it's a matter of priority.  Still working on the budget thing.  I think that's going to be a life long process.  I need to be comfortable with that. 

All in all...I may not have done as much as others so far, nor have I made a beach trip like so many others but that's on the list too.  And my plan for the beach is to have some fellow travelers with me and share the festivities.  I think January would be a good time.  The crowds are gone and if you pick the right place, the weather is sunny without being miserable and you still may have the opportunity to have your feet blessed by the ocean.  I think it would be a great way to kick off the winter months don't ya think?  I'll keep ya posted on that one.  Until next time....elizinashe. 

Need to Add This to My List